Fire and Ice
by NachtaraPowers
Summary: In a moment of weakness, Seto Kaiba extends his help to the man who tried to kill him. What he doesn't realize is that perhaps Alistair isn't the only one that needs saving. Can Seto overcome years of conditioning and allow himself to trust someone? And can Alistair reconcile with his past to stop the nightmares that have plagued him since his brother's death?
1. The offer

Right, so this is chapter one of a longer story, much of which I've already written. Given how stubborn both Seto and Alistair are, it'll take a while for them to warm up to each other, but we'll get there, don't you fret!

**Disclaimer: Much as I love these guys, I have to give Kazuki Takahashi the credit for their creation. **

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"_One need not be a chamber to be haunted."_

~Emily Dickinson

**Shadows of the Night**

"_Mikey, what are you doing here?" He knelt to embrace the smiling boy. "It doesn't matter." He rested his forehead on the boy's shoulder, clutching onto him. "What's important is that we're together. And I promise I won't let anyone take you away from me ever again!" He retreated slightly so he could look into his brother's face, but the scene began to swim before his eyes before finally fading to a bright white. "No! Mikey!" _

Even though he'd already opened his eyes and knew that it had been nothing more than a dream, Alistair refused to admit that it hadn't been real. And why was everything so blindingly white? He closed his eyes again to block out the light and groaned ever so slightly.

"Is sleeping beauty finally waking up? Took you long enough," drawled the voice of Seto Kaiba. Alistair's eyes snapped back open, and he nearly leaped right out of the bed he suddenly realized he was lying in. His attempt was thwarted by the white sheets that had been wrapped tightly around him.

His gaze quickly darted around the irritatingly bright white room and located the source of the voice he hated so much. Seto was leaning nonchalantly against the wall closest to the door, looking distinctly amused.

"I'm sorry, did I scare you?" Alistair's confusion overrode his desire to wipe the smirk off Kaiba's face.

"Where am I?" he asked, though by the sterile look of the room he was in and the poster of the human body on the door behind Kaiba, he could only assume it was a hospital. "The Orichalcos should have taken my soul." His hand went reflexively to the Orichalcos stone around his neck. Seto rolled his eyes.

"Don't tell me you still believe all that crap about a magic seal that steals people's souls. We dueled, you lost, started seeing some sort of hallucination of your brother because of the high altitude and passed out. I had some of my men take you here to the local hospital."

"How is this possible? Dartz—."

"Your pathetic excuse for a boss won't be coming back anytime soon; I made sure of that." Looking quite please with himself, he added: "your little plan to take over my company failed." Alistair could only gape at him. Dartz had been defeated? By _Kaiba_? That couldn't be! That meant that he had defeated the Great Leviathan and prevented it from leveling the planet, ruining the chance for Earth to once again be a peaceful, beautiful place. The thought that a Kaiba had ruined his life for a second time made his blood boil. He gripped the sheets so hard he felt them start to fray and shot Kaiba a ferocious glare, wishing that looks really could kill.

"Don't look so disappointed. It's not the first time someone's tried to take my company from me and failed."

"I don't give a _damn_ about your stupid company," he snapped hotly. The sheer arrogance…"You're pathetic if you think all this was just a plot to take over Kaiba Corp." The remark stung, but Seto was careful not to let it show. How dare some nobody dismiss his life's work like so much garbage?

"I suggest you take that back," he told Alistair, his voice low and threatening. Alistair sniffed disdainfully.

"Why should I? I have nothing to lose. What more could you possibly take away from me?" Seto was surprised by his seeming inability to rattle the fiery redhead. His mere presence was usually enough to intimidate people.

"It's not so much what you have to lose, but what you have to gain that you're putting in jeopardy," he replied simply. As a businessman he knew better than to reveal everything without first piquing the interest of a potential partner. He was successful and could see that he had Alistair's grudging attention. "The fact is that even though you've been nothing but a thorn in my side, a promise is a promise, and I'm not the kind of man to go back on my word."

"What the hell are you talking about Kaiba?" Alistair demanded, narrowing his gray eyes suspiciously.

"Let me ask you this for starters: who do you think was paying for you to be here? The answer is me in case you weren't sure. Next, where are you planning on going now?" Alistair gritted his teeth. He hated that Kaiba was lording the fact that he was completely at his mercy over him. If he was gauging Kaiba correctly, he was planning on offering his help. Since Kaiba wasn't one to give anything away for free, Alistair could only assume that the price of Kaiba's assistance would be his humiliation at having to take it.

"That's what I thought; you don't have anywhere to go, do you? Seems like your only option is to throw yourself on my clemency." The self-satisfied way he laid the proverbial card on the table only served to incense Alistair further and Seto knew it.

Alistair let out a growl of frustration, never taking his eyes off of Kaiba's smirking face, but had, as Kaiba had pointed out, no choice but to play the game; he wasn't stupid enough to completely blow off the one chance he had at starting over. He could survive on the streets like he always had, that wasn't it, it was the memory of Mikey that was keeping him from falling back into a life of crime. Still, he wasn't going to give Kaiba the satisfaction of seeing his helplessness.

"Why would you want to help me anyway; feeling guilty about what you did to my family? Because let me tell you: paying me off isn't going to bring them back!" He expected his statement to make Kaiba rethink toying with him, but to his surprise Kaiba didn't looked phased. If anything, a look of pity flitted across his face.

"I hate to break it to you, but you were tricked. Your family might have been killed, but not only does that have nothing to do with me, it wasn't my step-father who was behind it either. Dartz just wanted you to think it was so that you'd join his pack of goons."

"That's a lie," Alistair said reflexively, stunned by Kaiba's allegation. Somehow though, he knew that it was true, that he'd been used, a pawn once again.

"Believe whatever you like, but the fact remains that without my help you're screwed. So what's it going to be? I don't have all day." Alistair allowed his shoulders to slump in defeat.

"Fine."

"I'm sorry, what was that?" He hated the smugness of Kaiba's tone, but managed to swallow his anger.

"I need your help."

"Oh thank God you're willing to accept my help; you had me worried for a minute; I don't know what I would have done if you would have said no." Seto smirked again. "Now that that's settled I'm going to send the doctor in so he can make sure you're not going to collapse on me again then we're going back to Domino." Without another word he swept out of the room, his trench coat swishing dramatically behind him.

Alistair took his moment alone to collect himself. He had failed again. First Mikey, and now himself. He couldn't believe he'd allowed himself to be deceived. He'd wasted so much time, years, harboring misguided rage, egged on by the very man who was actually responsible. He scrunched his eyes shut, pulled his legs up to his chest, and rested his forehead on his knees, memories from the past seven years flashing before his eyes.

All the hiding, the running, Mikey getting into the tank, a smile on his face, his _Dino Dude_ action figure nestled in his arms and the amulet Alistair had given him, with their mother's picture inside, glinting on his chest. Then came the terrible explosion that continued to haunt him in his dreams. He remembered being thrown backwards and momentarily knocked out.

He had come to only to be hit by the smell he'd never been able to shake: burnt rubber, charred metal, and something he wouldn't, couldn't think about. He had called out for his brother, knowing that there was no way Mikey could have survived. Crying, he'd lain on the ground for what seemed like a very long time.

He'd had no intention of leaving, but then the bombs had started sounding again and basic human instinct forced him to flee. He'd no sooner struggled to his feet when he saw the scorched remnants of Mikey's _Dino Dude_ lying on top of a piece of twisted metal. He had picked it up without thinking before running away from the boom of the bombs, still crying.

Soon thereafter, while hiding in the basement of an abandoned building, Dartz had found him, offering his help. It seemed to Alistair that he was always finding himself at the mercy of other people and how unfair that was. First Dartz, now Kaiba. Would it ever end?

He could vividly remember the ride to safety during which Dartz had re-confirmed what he already knew: that it was Kaiba Corp providing both sides with weapons. Dartz had told Alistair that he was in charge of an organization called Doma that was dedicated to making sure companies like Kaiba Corp wouldn't be allowed to exist anymore, and had offered Alistair the opportunity to help which he had readily seized upon, the anguish caused by his brother's death still fresh in his mind.

Then had begun the years of training: learning to fly planes, jets, ride motorcycles, being taught how to duel, and studying Kaiba Corporation's every move, obsessing over every news story, hacking into their system to spy on then CEO Gozaburo Kaiba, watching as his son Seto staged a coup and took over, re-establishing Kaiba Corp as a gaming company and shutting down their weapon's division. He hadn't been impressed. KC was no longer funding war, but Seto Kaiba was every bit the ruthless businessman his step-father had been, equally cold and calculating, and twice as cocky.

It hadn't been hard to dog Kaiba; he was far more of a public figure than Gozaburo, constantly forcing himself into the spotlight, publically championing every major game on the market, enhancing pre-existing gaming technology, and finally partnering up with Industrial Illusions, owned by Maximilian Pegasus, creator of Duel Monsters, to bring the world the first 3D dueling arenas, causing the popularity of the game to skyrocket, and later releasing Duel Disks which allowed anyone who bought them to summon holograms when they played, even outside arenas.

Alistair had used Kaiba's need to stroke his own ego by having all his duels taped to his advantage and studied them for hours on end, memorizing the other man's strategies, his strengths, and his weaknesses. It got to the point where Alistair knew so much about Kaiba he felt like he knew him even though they had never met.

Luring Kaiba to Duelist Kingdom, disguised as Pegasus, had been his idea, and Dartz had agreed, offering to buy up enough shares of Kaiba Corp to get Seto's attention.

Alistair had let his emotions get the best of him, almost costing him his soul. He had vowed that the next time he and Kaiba met, it was Kaiba who would lose his cool. Unfortunately Kaiba's absurd refusal to accept the fact that the powers of the Oricalcos were real had kept him from being emotionally effected by the images Alistair showed him during their second duel atop one of Kaiba's company planes.

Once again finding himself without any choices, Alistair had sent the plane careening towards a cliff, intending to kill both of them, and Kaiba's brother Mokuba by default, but Kaiba had cheated defeat a second time.

The last clear thing Alistair could remember was the Orichalcos zeroing in on him, preparing to take his soul and thinking he could see Mikey.

He had hazy memories of being soulless, but wasn't sure if any of them were even real. He thought he could remember his name being called, and feeling an overwhelming need to aid…someone. But he couldn't remember who or why. He supposed it didn't really matter anyway; Doma was a part of his past now.

While a doctor checked Alistair over, Seto sat in the lobby with Mokuba, who'd insisted on coming along, refusing to be separated from his brother since his return.

"Do you think he'll be alright?" Mokuba asked, his dark blue eyes full of concern. The depths of his sibling's sympathy never ceased to amaze Seto.

"Yeah, I think so."

"Did you tell him?" Mokuba pressed, absentmindedly squeezing the action figure he had been saving in his pocket, and now intended to give back.

"Not in so many words. Just that if he'll accept it, I'll help him." Mokuba raised an eyebrow but said nothing. He had every reason to believe that Seto had done more than politely offer to lend a hand to someone in need. He knew that their upbringing was partially to blame, but he wished that Seto would come to understand that compassion was by no means a sign of weakness. Before he could lecture him, the doctor came back, requesting that Seto sign some papers before releasing Alistair into his custody. The papers signed, Seto had gone to collect the former Doma employee.

The ride to the plane was a tense one. Seto had driven with Mokuba riding shotgun, leaving Alistair to sit in the back, shooting glares in Seto's direction at regular intervals. Mokuba had suggested turning on the radio and had even reached out to do just that, but a look from his brother stopped him in his tracks and he sank back into his seat.

Once they were on the plane and headed back towards Domino, Seto had decided to take a nap and retreated to his section of the massive aircraft, leaving Mokuba to keep an eye on Alistair. Mokuba took the opportunity to give Alistair the _Dino Dude_ back. As soon as he laid eyes on the action figure and had it placed gently in his hands, Alistair was hit by a wave of sadness that he tried his hardest to hide from Mokuba.

"Thank you," he whispered, hugging the ruined toy to his chest.

"I'm so sorry about what happened to you and your family," Mokuba said sincerely. "I can't imagine what that must have been like."

"You're nothing like your brother, are you?" The fact that a kid as thoughtful and even-tempered as Mokuba could be related to a bastard like Kaiba was inconceivable. Mokuba looked taken aback. "Never mind, don't answer that. Thank you for saving this for me."

"Of course. Look, Alistair, I know that Seto can come across like someone who doesn't really care, but he was just as touched by your story as I was, even though it turns out Gozaburo wasn't directly responsible. Nobody understands what it's like to be robbed of your youth more than my brother does. That's why he wants to help you." Alistair snorted derisively. Kaiba, touched? Not likely. His guess was that Mokuba had felt compelled to help and had convinced his brother to do so. "He's not the coldhearted person everyone thinks he is." Mokuba looked at him so imploringly, and reminded him so much of Mikey, that Alistair regretted being so harsh about the one person the kid had. He didn't like or trust Kaiba, but his sibling was someone he felt he could.

"What are you guys planning on doing for me anyway?" he asked, figuring Mokuba, unlike Kaiba, would give him a straight answer.

"So Seto didn't tell you. If you want, we have a spare bedroom at the house that you're welcome to while you try to get your life together. We can help you get a job too."

"You'd really do that for me?" His disbelief was evident and it occurred to Mokuba that Alistair had never been shown any sort of kindness before.

"Yeah."

"Why? You have every reason to hate me."

"No, not really. You were being manipulated by Dartz, that wasn't your fault. I should know: I've gotten the short end of the manipulation stick myself more times than I care to count, and so has Seto. There's no way we could hold something like that against you."

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**Author's note: **As you may have noticed, I veered a smidge away from the canon with the beginning of this story since obviously we see in the anime that when Alistair wakes up later he's alone, but since this is fanfiction, I decided to take a few liberties.


	2. Nothing to Live For

112

**Disclaimer: I solemnly swear that I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!**

**Trigger Warning: **This chapter includes discussion of suicide as well as attempted execution of same.

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_"I see the streets burn every time I fall asleep. I'm losing all my sanity. I can't hide from the voice that speaks inside of me." _

~Street Dreams, Hollywood Undead

** Chapter 2**

Alistair hadn't slept soundly for as long as he could remember. Deep sleeping was something that could get a person killed where he'd grown up, and ever since his brother's death he'd been plagued by horrifying nightmares causing sleep to lose any appeal it may have had. He was exhausted even after his sporadic naps over the course of the flight, but couldn't bring himself to close his eyes. He tossed and turned on the cot, trying to get comfortable, the blanket caressing his cheek. It wasn't that the bed was hard, quite the contrary; he practically sank into it, and the blanket was made of some fluffy, extremely soft material. counterintuitively, it was precisely this level of comfort that prevented him from relaxing.

How could he possibly live under the same roof as Seto Kaiba? He wasn't guilty for Alistair's hardships, but he still didn't like the man, and found his practices and overall demeanor extremely repulsive. But this was his ticket to a better life. A life where he wouldn't have to run anymore. It was definitely tempting. And he didn't have to like Kaiba in order to use him as a means of climbing up the societal ranks. But to what end? What would be the point of having a 'better life' when he had absolutely no one to share it with? He had no family, no friends. He had had a purpose, but it had been taken from him. Now he had nothing to drive him and he was starting to feel hollow.

For the first time in his life he found himself contemplating ending it all. What was the point of living when he had nothing and no one to live for? He sat up. If he was going to do it he might as well go ahead and get it over with. And once it was done he'd get to see his family again.

As if in a dream, Alistair stood up and padded towards the main cabin, intending to force the hatch open and jump. He stood before the cold reinforced steel standing between him and the vast emptiness of the sky. He reached out a hand and rested it lightly on the red handle of the emergency door. As a pilot, he knew exactly how to open it. Still, he hesitated, knowing that as soon as he opened the door there would be no turning back.

"Are you going to stand there staring at it, or jump?" Alistair whipped around. Kaiba was sitting in one of the chairs in the corner, a sleek black laptop open on the fold-out tray in front of him.

"Don't mock me," Alistair snarled, wondering how he could have missed the fact that he wasn't alone.

"I don't feel like I have to; you do well enough all by yourself." His tone, ridiculing as ever, cut into Alistair like a knife.

"How dare you! You have no idea how I feel!" Seto rolled his eyes. He had been quite shocked when he realized what Alistair was contemplating, but quickly realized that the best way to get him back from the edge would be to make him angry.

"Let me guess: you're feeling stupid for having picked the losing team and don't want to lose what's left of your dignity by accepting my help."

"How many times do I have to tell you that I couldn't care less about your precious company? This has nothing to do with you! I don't even know why I'm listening to you; I could open this door and end it for both of us! God knows the world would be a better place without _you_ in it."

"Is that so? Let's think about this shall we?" He closed the computer with a snap, unbuckled his seatbelt and stood up. "Let's say that you open that door and get both of us killed. With me dead, Kaiba Corp would fall to Mokuba. To you that would probably seem like a victory, but what you aren't taking into consideration is that Mokuba doesn't have a head for business. Oh sure, he knows how, but he lacks the temperament to make good business decisions and the company would start to flounder and stock prices would start to plummet; still not anything you'd lose sleep over. However, given what I know about Mokuba, he'd do anything to keep Kaiba Corp from going under in honor of my memory, but would end up with no choice but to form a partnership, and I can think of several arms dealers who would gladly buy in to get their hands on my technology, and the last thing I think you'd want is to singlehandedly bring another weapons manufacturing company into the world. So you tell me: would opening that door really be the best choice?" Loathe though he was to admit it, Kaiba was right. He slowly backed away from the emergency door. "I didn't think so. Go back to bed Alistair. And put some stock in your own life because no one else is going to do it for you." Without replying, Alistair stomped back to his cot, silently cursing Kaiba for always getting in his way.

In the main cabin, Seto breathed a sigh of relief before sitting back down to begin working on putting his company back together again. It was currently lying in ruin thanks to that idiot Dartz and stock was at an all time low. He knew he was going to have to pour all of his concentration into changing that, but was confident that he could. If all else failed he could always release an updated version of the duel disks and throw a tournament and he'd be back on top. Still, that wasn't as easy as it sounded and the last thing he needed was the distraction of a suicidal Alistair wandering around. He hoped that his gruff tactic had worked and would keep the man from doing something stupid.

Alistair was convinced that sleep was out of the question given all the adrenaline pumping through his veins after his argument with Kaiba, but despite himself he sank into sleep and into more of his terrible nightmares.

It was one O'clock in the morning when Seto heard the first moans and ragged sobs, twenty minutes since he'd chastised Alistair. His first thought was that something was wrong with Mokuba and he thrust his computer aside, jumped to his feet and prepared to go to his brother post haste, but then a terrified voice called out: "no!" and he realized it was Alistair. He swiftly crossed to Alistair's room and flung the door open only to find the other man curled up on his cot, the grey blanket twisted around him and his sleeping face contorted in pain.

"Alistair!" Seto whispered urgently, flipping the light on. "Wake up!" Alistair jarred awake, his red hair plastered to his forehead with sweat.

"Ah!" he yelled, still caught in the throes of whatever he'd been seeing. Slowly his eyes adjusted to the light and he could see that it had been a nightmare; no one was chasing him. His glance locked in on Kaiba whose face was completely washed out by the artificial lights.

"What do you want?" he snapped, embarrassed that someone had witnessed his outburst. Seto was taken off guard but quickly recovered his composure.

"You were yelling your head off and someone needed to get you to shut up." It was Alistair's turn to be taken aback. Valon had told him he talked in his sleep when they had roomed together while tracking Yugi and his friends when they had first arrived in Domino, but he hadn't mentioned yelling. But he must have been to have caused Kaiba to investigate.

"Go away." Deep down, he was grateful that his sleep had been interrupted, but he'd never admit it, especially not to Kaiba. Kaiba didn't deserve his gratitude.

"Hmph." Seto graced Alistair with a disdainful look before flicking the light back off and leaving the redhead to his thoughts. He would never say so, but seeing Alistair suffering clearly frightening night terrors reminded him of how torturous sleep was for him sometimes.

It was far worse just after and in the years leading up to Gozaburo's death, but even now he still had nightmares featuring his step-father and when he did he often awoke, much like Alistair: covered in sweat, wild-eyed, and thoroughly shaken. As far as he knew, no one, not even Mokuba, knew, and he intended to keep it that way.

So yes, he could empathize with Alistair, something he never expected to feel. He prided himself on being utterly unique, enjoyed blowing Yugi and his annoying friends off by telling them that they couldn't ever possibly understand him, but despite that it felt good to know that he wasn't the only one who had gone through enough to be beset by hideous and overwhelmingly chilling visions in their sleep, unable to shake the past.

The plane landed without incident at four-thirty local time, for which everyone on board was grateful. Alistair and Seto had exchanged nary a word since the former had woken him up the night before, although Mokuba had done his best to start some form of conversation. A sleek black limo came to pick them up at the airport. Seto ordered the driver to first take them to Kaiba Corp headquarters, wait outside, then take them home. When they arrived at the immense skyscraper, Kaiba got out of the vehicle without a word, Mokuba slipping out after him. Alistair turned to the driver.

"Thank you for the ride Mr…"

"Jones," the man replied, clearly shocked that a passenger would offer any sort of appreciation. Mr. Kaiba hadn't given any sign that he even knew the man existed except to bark orders at him, let alone thank him, in years, and even Mokuba had stopped after a while.

"Thank you Mr. Jones," Alistair said sincerely. "I really appreciate it."

"You're welcome." They exchanged small smiles before Alistair jogged to catch up with the Kaiba brothers who were almost to the door.

"Try to keep up, will you?"

"I'm sorry, next time I'll take after you and be a little more oblivious to those around me." Seto was confused but let the comment slide.

"Mokuba: meet up with Roland and tell him to make a full report of any problems and anything else I should know about and to have it on my desk by tomorrow. You," he pointed at Alistair, "come with me." Alistair had never liked being ordered around, not by Dartz, not by anyone, but always found himself complying anyway.

He followed Kaiba through the building's ground floor, the walls of which were covered in giant framed posters of the company's past marketing ploys. Alistair saw everyone take notice of them, but no one dared speak to their boss directly, and they quickly looked back to their computers.

Both of their jackets, one white, one black, scraped the marble floors of Kaiba Corp, the heels of Kaiba's combat boots coming down hard enough to sound off the walls. The man clearly didn't know about a little thing called 'subtlety.'

They arrived at a block of elevators, got on the next one, and Seto forcefully pushed the button that would take them to the top floor. Alistair absently found himself wondering what on earth Kaiba had to be so angry about all the time. The elevator dinged a minute or so later, and the doors opened smoothly. The pair stepped off into a completely blank hallway which would have been boring were it not for the huge paneled windows lining the corridor that offered a spectacular view of the city. Alistair would have taken a moment to check out the view, but Kaiba was already walking past him.

They reached the end of the hallway and entered a small room where a young woman was seated at a desk, talking in a very matter-of-fact way into a black phone that was balanced on her shoulder while she typed into a computer. She looked up briefly as they entered the room and nodded before returning to her work. Without slowing his gait, Kaiba continued across the room to a second door, one that led to what Alistair knew to be his office from the time he'd spent learning about Kaiba Corp and about Kaiba.

Seto swept into the room he'd spent more time in in the last six years than any other place on earth. He strode to his desk and sat down in his custom designed desk chair which was emblazoned with the KC seal without bothering to see if Alistair was following him.

He had expected the man to be impressed; the few others who'd been allowed in his office had certainly had something to say about all his trophies lining the walls, mostly from dueling tournaments, but some from chess, and the crystal Blue Eyes White Dragon statue sitting in the corner, but Alistair didn't even take a moment to look around. Seto didn't know it, but Alistair had seen the office many times already via hacked security footage.

Since there was no other chair in the room, Alistair stood in front of Kaiba's desk, arms crossed.

"What did you want to talk to me about?" Without answering right away, Seto hauled his ever present steel briefcase onto the surface of his desk, quickly unlocked it, snapping it open and rummaging around for a moment before selecting a piece of paper, shutting the case and placing it back on the floor. He set the handwritten document in the middle of the desk, and whipped a pen out of the stash next to a container of his business cards, poising it over the paper.

"As far as I can tell, your skills are: piloting planes and jets, riding motorcycles, costuming, and dueling. Am I leaving anything out?"

"No," Alistair replied, unsure where Kaiba was going with his statement.

"Good. I was thinking about it last night, but it isn't hard to see that your ability to pilot planes and jets is your most marketable skill." He circled the word 'pilot'. "Do you have a license?"

"No."

"I didn't think so. Luckily for you I still have contacts at the aviation academy I got my pilot's license from. Could you pass a written aviation exam?" Seto half expected Alistair to tell him he couldn't read, but instead the redhead nodded. "Good. Then I'll give them a call so you can take the test and start logging flight hours. Once you have your license I'll test you out myself, and if you're good enough you can pilot one of the company planes."

Kaiba sat back as though the matter was resolved, but the pronouncement left Alistair reeling.

"Hang on, you can't just decide my future for me!" Seto sighed.

"Are you saying you have a better idea?"

"Well, no, but…"

"But nothing. I'll make the call tomorrow and you can take the test next week, end of discussion. Next," he stabbed a second bullet point with the tip of his pen, "I'll tell you about the house. I have top of the line security, so that everyone who enters has to first be authorized by a retina scan. Expensive, but worth it. The rest of the grounds are protected by—."

"I already know all about your security system," Alistair cut him off. "Anything else." It took Seto a moment to recover from his shock. No one dared to cut _him_ off. "If you're such an expert, how is the rest of the house protected?" Alistair rolled his eyes before rattling off the different security measures Kaiba had taken to protect his house, ending with: "but honestly, all someone would have to do is get past the cameras on the north side since it's the least protected and as long as they kept walking in a perfectly straight line they could sneak all the way up to the house, scale the wall, and enter via the balcony since there's a tree blocking one of the camera's angles." Seto's mouth formed a thin line, yet he was impressed but unhappy that a punk like Alistair could outsmart the security layout he'd designed himself.

"How did you know all of that?" Alistair smirked.

"A better question would be: what don't I know? I've been watching you for years. I had originally intended to force you to duel me in your own house, just to prove I was smarter than you, but then I realized that hitting you where it really hurt would require me to endanger this," he gestured around the office. "And I knew you couldn't resist a challenge from Pegasus, so I decided that bringing you to Duelist Kingdom and forcing you to relive one of your worst memories would be even better." He couldn't keep the zeal out of his voice. He'd been so proud of his plan, certain that being in Duelist Kingdom would distract Kaiba enough to allow him to gain the upper hand and win.

"Would it have been worth it to you?" Seto asked. "Would defeating me really have made you feel better?"

"Of course. The soul of my enemy going to feed the beast that would bring about the world's rebirth; why would that not be satisfying?"

"Ok, ignoring the facts that you would never be able to beat me and that a card can't take someone's soul, if there is even such a thing, beating me wouldn't bring your family back, it wouldn't erase your past."

"You're one to talk!" Alistair shot back. "You threw a whole tournament just to put your past behind you."

"How did you know that?" Seto demanded. He'd never told anyone but Mokuba of the true purpose behind the Battle City tournament. Alistair looked Kaiba directly in his eyes. Gray meeting blue.

"I told you: I know everything about you." Alistair's stare was so intense that eventually it was Seto who found himself looking away, saying:

"You don't know anything about me." Alistair shrugged, knowing that he'd emerged as the victor of their verbal sparring match and that Kaiba knew it too.

Seto spent the next ten minutes explaining the rules of the house. Alistair tuned out most of it, preferring to admire the view out the window behind him.

"Are you even listening to me?"

"Not really."

"You are aware that I'm doing you a favor, right? The least you can do is pay attention."

"And I'll take your favor, but I'm not going to get on the ground and lick your shoes the way everyone else does. Why should I? I have no respect for you."

Seto had always wondered, in an offhand sort of way, what would happen if he ever met someone he couldn't intimidate, but now that he knew he realized the result was doing nothing but giving him a headache.

"You know something Alistair: I don't get you. You hate me despite knowing that I never did anything to you. Even when you thought it was my step-father who was responsible for your family being killed, you knew that that had nothing to do with me. If anything you should be thanking me; I turned this company around because believe it or not I don't like war either which is why I'm getting ready for the release of our new duel disk and not our new tank. We're on the same side here!"

"Maybe you don't like war, but that does not mean we are _anything_ alike. I don't care how many orphanages you've funded because anyone who thinks they're too high and mighty to thank their driver is scum in my eyes. You disgust me," he all but spat at the CEO. Inexplicably, Seto laughed.

"That's what this is about? Not thanking my driver? Grow up Alistair. It's his _job_ to drive me where I need to go; my 'thanks' are his paychecks. Do you know the last time anyone thanked _me_ for anything? When I took the kids from the local orphanage to Kaiba Land. And do you want to know why I was worthy of their thanks? Because opening the amusement park doors for free was not part of my job, it was _extra_. It costs more money than you could ever even dream of to run a park that size for one day and I made absolutely nothing. _That's_ the kind of action that warrants a 'thank you.' And so does saving the life of some jumped up biker punk and putting him up in your house but I won't hold my breath. Now will you stop telling me how much you hate me long enough for me to explain to you how life in my house works?" Fuming, Alistair tried to focus on what Kaiba was actually saying.

"Where was I? Oh right. On weekdays Mokuba has tutoring from ten to four and since I don't usually eat at home on weekdays, breakfast is at nine, lunch is at one, and dinner is at seven. On Saturdays breakfast is at ten, lunch is at two, and dinner is at seven-thirty. Our housekeeper has Sundays off so we order in or go out whenever we get hungry. You're going to be living in the east wing so she'll clean your room and get your laundry on Thursdays."

"I only have these clothes and I can wash them myself."

"Yes, about that. You'll be going to a top ranked aviation school, not the biker gang convention so I'm going to send you to the mall with Mokuba, probably tomorrow, to get some clothes, preferably clothes that will fit well enough to cover your stomach." He glanced down at Alistair's exposed midriff. To mask the moment, he swept the paper he'd been referring to off his mahogany desk and held it out. "In case you forget anything I told you, it's all written right here." Alistair took the paper, grumbling about why, if Kaiba had written it all out, the lecture was necessary.

While Seto paged Mokuba and had Mr. Jones pull the car around, Alistair glanced back over what Kaiba had written. His handwriting was terrible, presumably because he rarely ever had to write anything longhand, but it was legible. The entire page, front to back, was covered in bullet points, each denoting a different rule. He had just gotten to: _the books in the library are arranged in alphabetical order and organized by subject; always make sure you put them back in the right place_, when Kaiba stood up abruptly, retrieved his briefcase and proceeded to stride from the room at an unnecessarily fast pace. On his way out he told his secretary to expect a report from Roland without slowing down. Alistair had to jog slightly to catch up and caught the disapproving look the woman threw at him over the top of her computer. Refusing to break down and tell Kaiba that he was walking too fast, Alistair powered through it and matched his pace.

They met back up with Mokuba in the lobby and the three of them got in the car. Alistair didn't care much for the limo because the way the seats were arranged forced him to either sit next to Kaiba or face him and though he found both options unsavory, he chose to face him. Mokuba had opted to sit next to his brother, and Alistair tried to focus his attention in that direction to avoid looking into Kaiba's eyes again. Though he had won their staring contest, looking directly into the man's eyes had made him distinctly uncomfortable; Kaiba's eyes were like two shards of sapphire; cold and hard, but undeniably beautiful, much like the man himself. Alistair reminded himself that that beauty was only skin deep and that inside Kaiba was a hideous creature that would be destroyed were it ever to see the light of day.

Seto spent the car ride back to the Kaiba mansion trying to decide if he'd done the right thing by inviting Alistair into his life. The man was a loose cannon, there was no denying that, but he didn't think he presented any real danger to anyone but himself. No, the problem was that despite having completely different backgrounds, the similarities between the two were undeniable. Alistair shared his fearlessness, his thick skin. They were both older brothers who had had to take on the role of parent and had their childhoods violently wrenched from them. He saw so much of himself in Alistair that it scared him because it forced him to see things he didn't want to see about his own character. It had rattled him to have it pointed out that he hardly ever thanked anyone for anything.

Being told that he was gauche by someone who had walked into a billion dollar corporation wearing a cutoff tank-top should have been laughable, but he had realized the validity of Alistair's statement as soon as he'd said it. Of course he had defended himself, giving the logical answer, an answer that while perhaps cold, was not one to be argued with. Still, he couldn't help but wonder when he'd stopped thanking people. He used to be the one to offer his gratitude to the driver back when Gozaburo was still alive. He'd found the man's lack of appreciation despicable, but now he was no better.

So yes, having Alistair around was a decision he wasn't sure was the wisest. He knew the man would force him to face his demons, of which there were many, and he wasn't sure he was ready to.

Upon arriving at the sprawling estate, Seto immediately broke off from the group to go to his room to shower, leaving Mokuba to show Alistair to his room, not that the former really needed a tour; he knew the layout of the mansion by heart. Still, there was something very different about walking through a house than merely studying the blueprints. Alistair was struck by the sheer lack of warmth. The walls were white, the carpet, black, and the furniture heavy and modern. The few paintings featured on the walls were as simple as they were severe and didn't seem particularly artistic to Alistair, though his knowledge of art was negligible.

They entered a large hall; the location of the many decadent corporate parties thrown by Gozaburo Kaiba, now hardly ever used except for the traditional ball hosted each New Year's to which the department managers and other influential business owners were invited.

The floor was made up of huge slabs of black and white marble. A person standing on the grand staircase and looking down would be able to see that the floor was in fact a giant chess board; testament to Gozaburo's love of the game. Overhanging the hall was a giant crystal chandelier. The light from huge paneled windows reflected through the crystals and caused the apparition of rainbows which crisscrossed through the air. The entire room reeked of self-indulgence and even though it was undeniably beautiful, Alistair found the notion that someone could spend such obscene amounts of money on _things_ when he'd grown up having to scavenge for food perverse.

He suddenly realized that Mokuba had been talking to him, probably about the hall, but he hadn't heard a word the kid had said, nor did he really care so he nodded absently to give the illusion that he was paying attention while Mokuba continued to rattle off fun facts about the décor.

They finally arrived at the room designated as Alistair's for the course of his stay. The room, if you could call it that, more like an apartment, was humungous and featured a four-poster bed with red sheets, a large window overlooking the grounds in the back, and if he remembered correctly, the door on the far side of the room led to a bathroom, while the door on the left wall led to a walk-in closet.

"I called ahead to have Trudy stock the bathroom so you have a toothbrush and shampoo and all that stuff." Mokuba started to fidget and Alistair realized he was waiting for him to say something.

"Thanks."

"If you need anything else—."

"Tell Roland. Yeah, your brother gave me to low-down on how things work around here." He produced the paper he'd gotten from Kaiba out of one of his jacket's many inside pockets. Mokuba looked it over and started laughing.

"This is such classic Seto."

"What do you mean?"

"He runs his life using lists. It's really funny. They're the only thing he writes longhand besides his signature. He writes lists for the silliest things. Don't tell him I told you, but he has a list up in his bathroom listing the order he does things in the morning and has sub-points explaining why." He started laughing again and even Alistair had to smile at the thought of Kaiba standing in the bathroom in a pair of Blue Eyes themed boxers poring over a list. _Step one: brush teeth in order to remove plaque and coffee stains and leave enamel looking clean and white. _

"Oh, and I forgot to tell you; we recovered your bike from Doma's headquarters and had it transported here from the plane. It's in the garage if you ever want to ride."

"You got my bike?" Alistair asked blankly.

"Yeah. To be honest, I forgot all about it, but Seto remembered and told Roland to have someone pick it up on our way back." He knew that he was expected to express some sort of thanks for Kaiba's thoughtfulness, but couldn't stomach it, so he merely changed the subject.

"You have a game room, right?" Mokuba was disappointed that telling Alistair about what Seto had done would help show him that Seto wasn't a bad person, but it hadn't worked.

"Yeah. It's not far from here; do you want to see it?"

"Sure."

The Game room connected to Mokuba's bedroom and boasted all the major gaming consoles and several giant screens as well as a couple of arcade games including an elaborate, classic pinball game. A bookshelf lining the back wall was lined with easily over two hundred titles. And of course there were four duel disks; the different incarnations plus one that looked custom-made.

Alistair hadn't ever really played video games or games of any kind besides Duel Monsters, but he'd always wanted to, and now it seemed he'd have the chance. But there was one thing about the room that struck him as odd.

"Who uses all this stuff, just you?" he asked. Mokuba looked wistful.

"Recently, yeah. Seto and I used to play games together but since he always wins he thought it was boring, and obviously he's really busy."

"Don't you have friends to play with?" He hadn't had any friends since before Mikey got killed, but he saw no reason why Mokuba shouldn't. The melancholy expression on Mokuba's face intensified.

"Not really. Since I get tutored at home I don't have the opportunity to make friends. But I can't go to a regular school because it's too much of a security risk and I seem to get kidnapped enough as it is. Besides, I think most people would be too intimidated by my brother to want to hang out with me." Alistair rejoiced at the opportunity to badmouth Kaiba.

"Your brother seems pretty selfish to me; always putting his life before yours."

"Oh, no! That's not what I meant by that at all! He's just trying to keep me safe. Everything he's done has been to make sure I have a better time growing up than he did."

"But you aren't," Alistair pointed out. "You're not living at all because you aren't experiencing anything. At the very least you should be able to make friends." Mokuba continued to look thoughtful.

"Maybe. But I don't see how I'll be able to until I'm older and can take care of myself."

"What are you, thirteen?"

"Fourteen," Mokuba corrected him, confused by the random question.

"By the time I was fourteen I could take out people twice my size, shoot a pistol, and do some serious damage with a knife. Age and size are no excuse. I think your brother's keeping you weak to keep you under his control." Mokuba shook his head.

"He just wants me to have a normal childhood."

"This is normal?" Alistair gestured to their surroundings.

"I mean," Mokuba corrected himself, "he doesn't want me to need to know how to shoot a gun or be tough."

"But you do, and he knows it." Mokuba licked his lips uncomfortably.

"I don't know…"

"I could teach you if you want."

"Teach me what? I don't really want to shoot a gun."

"No, not that. Well, I mean, I could, but I just meant that I could teach you how to fight. If you can defend yourself there's no reason why you shouldn't be allowed a little more freedom. Even your brother can't argue with that. And if he tries I'll teach you to shoot. But really, you just need to learn to stand up for yourself. You make yourself look weak, so he sees you as someone who needs to be protected even though you're not a little kid anymore."

"Maybe you're right," Mokuba murmured. "Would you really teach me to fight?" Alistair nodded.

"It's the least I can do." He really liked the kid even though he blindly defended his brother. Although even that Alistair could understand; as an older sibling, he knew how much Mikey had unconditionally looked up to him. It was that blind devotion that had made him listen to his brother and get in the tank even though he was scared and didn't want to. Alistair forced himself not to think about it though the anguish of knowing that what had happened was his fault would never leave him. "If you want we can start right now; I know you guys have a gym." Mokuba's eyes shone with excitement, but then he yawned so widely Alistair heard his jaw pop.

"I'm kind of sleepy," he admitted. "Jet lag. Aren't you tired?"

"No. I'm used to sleeping on weird schedules. I don't usually have a 'full night's sleep;' I just take naps throughout the day. I'll probably sleep for a couple of hours later."

"Oh. Well, you're welcome to stay and play with some of the stuff as long as you wear headphones and keep the door to my room closed to block out the light."

"No, thank you. I think I'll just go back to my room."

"Ok, well I'll see you at breakfast. I don't know if Seto mentioned, but I usually eat at around ten. If you're up before that, Seto eats at seven." He yawned again.

"Even if I'm up, I'll wait and eat with you." He would rather go hungry than have to suffer through a meal with Kaiba.

Alistair bade Mokuba goodnight before walking back towards his room. He almost bumped right into Kaiba whose bedroom he had to walk past in order to get there. Kaiba had decided for whatever reason to fling the door open and if it hadn't been for Alistair's quick reflexes he would have been hit squarely in the face.

"Watch what you're doing," he snapped. "You could have broken my nose!"

"What are you doing lurking outside my door?" Kaiba asked unapologetically, absentmindedly straightening his black v-neck. "Trying to catch me with my pants down?"

"You wish. I wasn't _lurking_; Mokuba was showing me the game room."

"Where is he?"

"He went to bed because he was feeling jet-lagged."

"Hmph. He's never going to get back on a normal sleep schedule that way. He hasn't learned," Seto said more to himself than to Alistair. "What are you still doing here? Do you not know the way back?" He smirked at the thought of having to give the former Doma employee directions around the house.

"I'm just waiting for you to get out of my way." He could practically hear Kaiba's internal struggle between not wanting to do what Alistair said and wanting him to go away.

"There should be a please in there somewhere, but I wouldn't expect someone of your background to know that so I'll let it slide." He smirked again and stepped aside. Insulted, Alistair felt his fists ball up, but forced himself to stay cool.

"I'd say thank you, but I wouldn't expect someone of your background to know what that means." He saw Kaiba's eyes narrow, but before he could retort, Alistair stepped past him, the trench coat he was still wearing flapping behind him. A highly skilled Duel Monsters player he might not be, but Alistair's aptitude for verbal sparring was not lost on Seto who had never met anyone quick-witted enough to go up against him before. Most people, Joey Wheeler being a prime example, were quickly reduced to gibbering and physically lashing out, but Alistair, while clearly angry, had not. In a depraved sort of way the thought excited him; finally a worthy opponent.

Back in his room (though he didn't really consider it 'his'), Alistair took his jacket off, hung it off the back of the desk chair he'd been provided with and proceeded to empty the pockets and take stock of his things. As he pulled each item out, he set it on the heavy wooden desk that accompanied the chair.

He had the paper Kaiba'd given him, the _Dino Dude_ action figure, a small pair of scissors he mainly used for cutting his hair, a spool of black thread and a needle, a black penknife, the keys to his motorcycle, a pair of sunglasses, a couple of bucks, and the cell phone he'd used to keep in contact with Raphael and Valon that was now dead. The charger was back at Doma's headquarters rendering the phone useless. And that was it, everything he owned. He was looking back over the items when he realized what was missing: his duel disk and deck. He had no idea what might have happened to them, but shrugged it off; he hadn't been very attached to them anyway. The only two things he had that he cared about were his brother's toy and the pocket-knife which had belonged to his father, other than that he had little to no attachment to material things.

He had nothing better to do than check out the rest of the room before taking a shower, so he wandered across the floor and opened the door to the bathroom, flicking the light on. The enormous bathroom featured a Jacuzzi-sized sunken bathtub along one wall and a shower with frosted plate-glass sliding doors on the other. The sink was white porcelain with silver accents, and the floor; black and white checkered marble. The frame of the mirror above the sink was a glossy black to match the floor and inlaid with an intricate silver design. On the wall above the bathtub was a painting of a close-up of a red rose, the color popping in the otherwise plain room.

No one had bothered to mention it, but Alistair knew from the blueprints that this was no guest room, but the master bedroom and he would have found it strange that Kaiba hadn't claimed the room for himself had he not know as much about the Kaiba family as he did. The room had been Gozaburo's, and given what he knew of Kaiba's relationship with his step-father, he wasn't surprised that it had stayed vacant. The thought that he was going to be living in a dead man's room didn't bother Alistair; he'd experienced too much to be put off by death.

He left the bathroom and wandered into the closet. The first thing he noticed besides that it was made up of a ridiculous amount of cubbies, was his duel disk sitting on an empty shelf, deck still intact. Apparently someone had gotten it after all. There wasn't anything of interest other than that, so he turned the light off and went back to the main part of the apartment (a much more appropriate word than 'room'). Sinking into the black leather couch situated in front of a glass coffee table Alistair tried to sort out the chaos his life had become.

Everything had happened so fast. The last seven years of his life had been leading up to his duel with Kaiba and now that it was all over he had no idea what to do next. And what had actually happened? He very much doubted that Kaiba had singlehandedly defeated both Dartz and the Great Leviathan; he must have had help, presumably from the Pharaoh which meant that Raphael had been defeated as well. And what of Valon? Had he beaten Joey Wheeler or lost? What happened to them once Dartz was defeated? They had by no means been friends, but they'd been in his life longer than most people.

Another thought struck him: what day was it? How long had he been out of it? It must not have been long because his muscles hadn't deteriorated, though he flexed just to be sure.

And now, here he was, sitting in Kaiba's dead step-father's bedroom, about to be put on the fast track to becoming a pilot for Kaiba Corp. The irony in that wasn't lost on him. He had every intention of turning down Kaiba's offer; after all, he detested everything the company stood for: capitalism, greed, and self-indulgence. As soon as he had the license he intended to seek employment with another group like Dartz's; one that stood for making the world a better place. In the meantime he planned to take advantage of everything living with Kaiba had to offer, starting with helping Mokuba become more independent. Kaiba was a lost cause, but Mokuba's eyes, he felt, could still be opened. Without the overbearing shadow of his brother smothering him, Alistair believed Mokuba might be able to use his money and influence for good. Maybe they could even work together.

* * *

**Author's note: **For the record: if someone is threatening suicide, I do not really recommend getting a rise out of them as a means of prevention. It only works here because I have the ability to manipulate my character's actions. Just thought I'd throw that out there.


	3. The Past Lives On

**Trigger Warning: **This chapter includes discussion of cutting

**Disclaimer: **If I owned Yu-Gi-Oh! don't you think I would have made this canon?

* * *

_"Dear agony: just let go of me. Suffer slowly. Is this the way it's gotta be?__"_

~Dear Agony, Breaking Benjamin

**Chapter 3**

While he reclined at the desk in his home office, Seto wondered idly if Alistair knew whose room he was staying in. Personally he hadn't gone anywhere near the place since long before Gozaburo's death. He was afraid that if he went there now he'd risk letting back in all the memories he'd suppressed of life with his step-father.

Before he'd even conceived his plan to get Gozaburo to adopt him and his brother he'd known that Gozaburo Kaiba was a ruthless man, a calculating man, and that life with him would by no means be a picnic. But having a loving father wasn't his goal; he'd known that by becoming Gozaburo's son he'd be securing Mokuba's future; that had always been his driving force. And if he had it to do over again he wouldn't change a thing despite all he had suffered because he had achieved what he'd set out to do.

_His_ life was already decided and his future had nothing in store for him but more of the same, but Mokuba had a blank slate and all the opportunity in the world to do, be anything he wanted, and Seto was content with that.

But sometimes he couldn't help but feel hollow and wish that there was some mystery in his future, some uncertainty to give the rest of his life meaning. As it was he felt there was really very little more he could do with his life. He already had one of the most successful companies in the entire world, he was a top-ranked gamer, he'd traveled all over the globe and spoke five languages fluently, there was nothing he couldn't buy. To many his life probably seemed ideal; something to aspire for, but what they didn't realize was how lackluster such a life actually was. There is certainly something to be said for having nowhere to go but up because then you have plenty of room for dreams. Seto on the other hand had nowhere to go but down which made for nothing but stress and depression.

He rested his right hand on his upturned left wrist, knowing what he would see if he pushed his sleeve up. There was a reason he always wore long sleeves even in the heat of summer and it wasn't to make a fashion statement; it was to hide the fine scars carved into his skin. He hadn't cut since the end of the Battle City Tournament, but the scars served as a reminder that his life was far from perfect.

Like the nightmares, he'd kept the cutting a secret from everyone. He couldn't begin to imagine what Mokuba would think of him if he knew; it would shatter the image he had tried so hard to project of being strong. The truth was that Seto substituted cutting for crying because even though cutting left a scar, it was, to his mind, a stronger, braver move.

He tore his gaze away from his wrist to look at the clock on his laptop. How could it be midnight already? He glanced over the work he'd managed to get done in the last six hours. It wasn't much, but it was a start.

Suddenly tired he shut his computer down and prepared to head to the pool to swim a couple of laps before showering again and getting into bed by one-thirty only to get up again at six-thirty.

He had managed to get halfway to his room to change when he heard it again; Alistair's cries and whimpers; the results of more nightmares, muffled by the thick door of his room.

Seto's immediate instinct was to ignore what he'd heard, it was nothing to do with him after all, and Alistair had made it clear he wanted Seto to leave him alone, but he couldn't do that. Despite Gozaburo's careful conditioning, Seto couldn't always bring himself to be coldblooded even if he put up an icy front while doing what he knew was morally right. This was one of those times. He gritted his teeth and turned towards his step-father's old quarters. No sooner had he done so than his heart started to race and his palms began to sweat. There was nothing he wanted to do less than go there again. Even contemplating it conjured up horrible memories.

He was eleven and had fallen asleep when he was supposed to be studying and Gozaburo had caught him and hit him across the head with a heavy book, all but knocking him out and when he'd started to cry, Gozaburo had slapped him across the face, telling him to man up, and warning him that if he caught him sleeping again before he allowed it, he'd do far worse than hit him with a book.

Alistair's sobs snapped Seto back to the present. He squared his shoulders and tentatively approached the door, cracking it open an inch or so before he lost his nerve.

"Mikey! No! Mikey!" Alistair rasped from where he was lying curled up on the couch, one hand reaching out and grasping at the air. Seto turned the light on.

"Alistair," he said, squinting against the sudden brightness. "Wake up." But Alistair had fallen into a deep sleep out of pure exhaustion so Seto realized that he'd have to shake him.

Trying to ignore his surroundings, he crossed over to the couch. Upon closer inspection, he could see that Alistair's bare back was coated in sweat, his jacket, which he'd apparently been using as a blanket, lay crumpled on the floor.

He uncertainly reached out and rested his hand on Alistair's shoulder. Before he could do more, Alistair's eyes snapped open and he'd aimed a punch at Seto's face. Normally Seto had excellent reflexes, but the attack was so unexpected that he didn't even flinch and the blow landed full on the side of his face, connecting most forcibly with his nose which immediately started bleeding. As pain spread across his face he reeled backwards causing droplets of blood to spatter onto the hardwood floor.

It took Alistair a moment to remember where he was, and another to realize that it was Kaiba who he'd just punched in the face. He stared at the wide-eyed CEO who was attempting to stem the flow of blood from his nose by pressing his palm against it.

"Sorry," he apologized, much as he had the several times he'd accidentally attacked Valon when he'd tried to wake him up.

"Why'd you punch me?" Seto asked even though he thought he knew. He didn't have any personal experience with people with Post Traumatic Stress, but he was fairly certain Alistair had it.

"I don't like people touching me."

"Duly noted." Neither said anything for a moment. "You were having a nightmare," he added by way of explaining why he was in the room in the first place. Alistair furrowed his eyebrows.

"If you experienced even a fraction of what I've been through, you'd have nightmares too," he said defensively, crossing his arms protectively across his chest.

"Maybe I do," Seto snapped back. "You're not the only one whose ever had bad things happen to them Alistair, or are you really arrogant enough to think that you are?"

"What the hell has ever happened to _you_?" Alistair spat. "Did daddy not get you the right colored pony?" Nothing had ever gotten under his skin quite as much as that comment, and the combination of his high strung emotions from being back in Gozaburo's room and overtiredness caused Seto to snap.

He saw red and the only clear thought in his head was: inflict as much damage on Alistair as possible. Blood still dripping from his nose, he set upon the man on the sofa.

Alistair leapt up from the couch, preparing to defend himself when Kaiba tackled him. They both fell to the floor with Kaiba on top aiming punch after punch at Alistair's face and landing several. Alistair, no novice when it came to fighting, kneed Kaiba in the stomach, giving himself a momentary advantage, or so he thought, but Seto had anticipated the move and grabbed Alistair's leg in such a way that he was forced to roll onto his stomach to avoid snapping his femur. Sensing that Kaiba was stronger than he was, Alistair resorted to fighting dirty and clawed at the hand Kaiba had planted on the floor.

Seto hissed in pain, losing his grip on the other man's leg. Alistair immediately whipped back around and lobbed a punch at his head which Seto parried before getting under Alistair's guard and catching him in the stomach with his fist, sending him sprawling.

Gasping for breath, Alistair knew that he couldn't take much more and he wasn't even really sure what had caused Kaiba to assault him with such ferocity. What the hell nerve had he hit? He could only hold his arms in front of his face as a means of defense. Kaiba was a much better fighter than he'd ever have thought given how prone he was to having others do his dirty work for him and had obviously had some sort of training because he'd known exactly where to hit him on his torso to completely incapacitate him.

Sensing that he'd won, Seto glared down at the man lying on the floor. There was a line of blood running down his chin, courtesy of a busted lip, a bruise was already starting to form on his solar plexus and he could tell that Alistair was going to end up with at least one black eye.

"Don't you _ever_ say something like that again. You claim that you know so much about my life, and maybe you do, but you know absolutely nothing about me or what I've had to endure to get where I am now. Maybe if you spent less time bitching about how horrible your life's been and started doing something about it I'd have more respect for you." He turned on his heel and stalked to the door before pausing. "Oh, and by the way: you're welcome," he said over his shoulder before slamming the door behind him.

After stomping all the way to his bedroom, Seto examined his wounds in his bathroom mirror. Aside from his bloody nose, Alistair had scratched the hell out of his left hand, leaving several long, red cuts. He tentatively prodded his nose and winced. It wasn't broken, luckily, but there would certainly be a bruise and some swelling which he wasn't looking forward to.

He couldn't believe that he'd lost control like that, especially not over such a stupid remark. He was used to being insulted by people on a daily basis, but it was one 'poor little rich kid' comment that got to him. Alistair had, unknowingly he was sure, trivialized all that Seto had suffered at his step-father's hand and that was something he found intolerable.

Who the hell was Alistair to put him under a microscope and decide what constituted as suffering? It was true that he still had his brother while Alistair's brother had been killed, and that was horrible, and Seto did feel sorry for him; he couldn't imagine life without Mokuba, but that didn't mean that what Gozaburo had done to him didn't count. And what kind of person turns pain into a contest anyway? Or uses it as an excuse to judge other people?_ My tragedy is worse than your tragedy and therefore I'm better than you. _It was ludicrous!

He banged his fist on the side of the sink and immediately regretted it, almost as much as he regretted going to wake Alistair up in the first place, further evidence to suggest that helping someone you don't even like is a really stupid idea.

As Alistair washed the blood of his face in the bathroom sink, he tried to figure out why such an offhand statement had bothered Kaiba so much. He ran it over in his mind again. Kaiba had said something about Alistair not being the only one to have had bad things happen to them, then he'd asked if daddy had gotten him the wrong colored pony and Kaiba had attacked him.

He thought back to what he knew about Kaiba's background: adopted at age ten by Gozaburo Kaiba, owner of the illustrious Kaiba Corp, trained to be his successor, stages a successful takeover at age thirteen, has run the company ever since.

Suddenly he realized what Kaiba might have been talking about. He and Mokuba were adopted which meant that something must have happened to their parents. Either they had given their kids up, or they'd been killed somehow, either one of which could certainly cause some emotional damage to a nine or ten year old kid.

Alistair been very young when his father had been killed in the war and couldn't even recall his face, but his mother had died when he was eleven, and even though he hadn't witnessed it, it weighed on him, though not nearly as much as Mikey's death. So maybe he _was_ being a little harsh in his assessment of Kaiba, and pretentious to have assumed that just because he was rich he had lived a carefree life. Kaiba had a point: he did know almost everything about him in a very objective sense; how old he'd been when he'd taken over Kaiba Corp, his dueling strategies, where he bought his clothes, how often he got his hair cut etc, but not nearly as much about Kaiba the man, beyond his cutthroat business strategies. The thought troubled him.

The more he thought about Kaiba, the more he realized that he had, perhaps, misjudged him. Ever since he'd met him in real life, Kaiba had done nothing but good things for him; first offering his help even though Alistair had lured him all the way out to Duelist Kingdom under false pretenses, made good on his promise and even put Alistair up in his house and was even going to help him get his pilot's license. Hell, he'd even thought to get his motorcycle. And he'd come to wake him up from his nightmares twice, and what had he, Alistair done in thanks? Punched him and insulted him.

There was no denying that Kaiba wasn't a nice person, he'd proven that on more than one occasion in the way he treated other people, and he was certainly pompous and selfish and unnecessarily mean to those he perceived to be weaker than him, but he was no devil incarnate. So Alistair intended to apologize for going too far because his mother had taught him the importance of taking responsibility for one's mistakes. That didn't however, mean that Alistair had to like him.

He had no intention of going back to sleep, nor did he think he could for some time after being pumped up from fighting. His face and stomach hurt something awful, so to distract himself he decided to check out the books lining a shelf attached to the wall above the bed.

It quickly became apparent to Alistair what kind of person the businessman had been by just skimming the titles. Many of them featured soldiers, one was the autobiography of Adolf Hitler, a few were business related and one was bound in red leather and said nothing on the spine. Curious, Alistair slid it off the shelf and saw that it was a journal.

Still holding the book, he sat down on the bed, easing himself onto his back on the soft red velvet cushions (the man had certainly had a thing for the color red), and opened the journal.

The first date was from some twenty years before:

_Asami is pregnant with a boy this time, luckily for her. The doctors say that the pregnancy is going smoothly and that the baby is healthy despite the fact that she's been so depressed. The stupid woman is always refusing to take her medication. I need a strong heir to the Kaiba legacy and I won't have her foolishness prevent me from having that. If she still refuses her pills after tomorrow measures will have to be taken. I can only hope that the boy does not inherit her weak will, if he does I'll see to it that he's toughened up. The name of Kaiba has and always will carry with it the weight of authority my family has worked so hard to forge. _

_The baby is due sometime in mid April which is perfect because by then Saito will have returned from Europe and will be in a good position to deal with her for me. _

Alistair stared at the book, disgusted by what he'd just read. How could someone be so callous about their own wife and child?

He knew from having studied the Kaiba family that Gozaburo's wife, Asami had overdosed on painkillers shortly after their son, Noah, was born and that Noah had been hit and killed by a car when he was ten. Soon thereafter, Gozaburo had finalized his adoption of Seto and Mokuba. Over the course of his career, several of his business rivals had died under mysterious circumstances. Death, it seemed, had followed the man all the way up to his suicide almost seven years previously. Alistair shuddered to think what life with such a person must have been like.

He looked over the rest of the journal in which Gozaburo had written sporadically over a period spanning nine years.

Most of the entries content was Gozaburo gloating about clever business deals and belittling the men he found 'gullible' and 'weak.'

He mentioned Noah several times, including an entry he'd written following the boy's accident.

_I had Noah taken off life support. I think the doctor was surprised at my lack of an emotional response, but I know that he isn't really dead. The upload of his mind into the Kaiba Corp mainframe was successful. There are still some bugs to work out, but I am assured that the program, once sufficiently fixed, will seem no different to him than the real world. I have hope that he will be able to continue being trained while living in the cyber world until he is ready to take over the company. When the time comes, I have a body ready for him; the orphan. I am satisfied that no matter what may happen I am prepared. Even if the cyber world crashes and Noah is lost, or proves himself unsuitable as an heir, Seto may have what it takes. For a ten year old he is very bright. Using chess as a way to get my attention was a very well calculated move, and it was clever of him to make sure multiple people heard me promise to adopt him and his brother should I lose the match. I shouldn't have been so easily manipulated by a child, but I'm quite impressed that he pulled it off. Yes, he shall carry the name Kaiba well. I almost hope Noah is incompetent so that I have no qualms about grooming Seto as my new heir. _

It was now clear to Alistair where Kaiba had gotten some of his behaviors from. His matter-of-factness, his emotional detachment, his egotism and cruelty suddenly all made sense. He'd clearly been completely brainwashed by his step-father.

Seto lay in his bed, worn out, but reluctant to fall asleep, afraid that being in Gozaburo's room would trigger his nightmares. After all of the physical, mental, and above all, emotional abuse he'd had to endure at Gozaburo's hand, he knew that it wasn't surprising that he still dreamt about it, but he wished he could make it stop. That had been the whole point of Battle City; he'd hoped that by destroying the tower that was the last standing monument to Gozaburo's reign as CEO of Kaiba Corp, he would be able to finally drive the man from his mind. But Yugi had taken that chance from him, something he could never forgive him for.

As he'd suspected, as soon as he allowed himself to drift off, he fell straight into hell, forced to relive his worst memories with a few added twists from his subconscious.

* * *

**Author's Note**: I know, I know, it's all very dark, but realistically speaking, we aren't exactly dealing with very fluffy characters; there's a lot of damage that these guys have suffered, and I feel as though that's something that can't be ignored.


	4. The closest you can get to Flying

**Disclaime**r:I could never even own Broadway in Monopoly, do you really think I could own Yu-Gi-Oh?

* * *

_"Put all the pain you gave me on display but I didn't realize_

_ instead of setting it free I took what I hated and made it a part of me."_

_~Figure .09, Linkin Park_

**Chapter 4**

_Seto was ten, crouching in a small room void of any light. He knew that Gozaburo was out there, he could sense his presence even though he couldn't see him. The atmosphere in the small room was tense. He knew his step-father could come for him at any time to punish him, but he didn't know when which made him uneasy to the point that he felt sick with anticipation._

_ "Seto!" Gozaburo's voice rang out in the darkness and Seto shrank back until he was pressed against the wall. Gozaburo laughed mirthlessly. "Are you scared?" Seto shook his head even though he was terrified. Suddenly the man's distorted face appeared inches from his own, looming out of the dark. "Well you should be." He screamed in surprise and fright. Gozaburo brandished a leather riding crop at him._

_ "You know why you're here, don't you?"_

_ "Because I only got ninety-five percent of the math test right," he whispered, his eyes never leaving the instrument in his step-father's hand._

_ "Ding, ding, ding," Gozaburo said sarcastically. "To most people that would be good enough, but you aren't 'most people,' are you?"_

_ "No sir."_

_ "What are you?"_

_ "A Kaiba."_

_ "Right again. A Kaiba always goes above and beyond. You should have gotten a hundred and ten percent on that test, so in my eyes, you failed. And failure is unacceptable!" He smacked the crop against his palm and Seto started to cry._

_ "I'll do better next time, I promise! I'll study even harder! I'll do anything! Just please don't hit me!" he sobbed._

_ "Anything?" Gozaburo looked thoughtful. "I'll make you a proposition. I'll let you go if you take your punishment out on your brother. What do you say?"_

_ "No! I can't hurt Mokuba!"_

_ "Wrong answer. A Kaiba always looks out for his own best interests. You failed again so now you have to suffer the consequences twofold. Hopefully a couple of welts will remind you to choose more carefully next time. And stop crying! Crying is for the weak. Are you weak?"_

_ "No sir." Seto tried to control his tears, knowing that if he could pull himself together the punishment would be less severe._

_ "Turn around." Gozaburo's voice was ominously calm. Shaking, Seto stood up and braced himself against the wall. "Take your shirt off; there's no need to wreck it." He unbuttoned his shirt and carefully folded it before setting it on the ground. He'd made the mistake of simply letting it drop to the floor before and he'd been forced to iron every shirt in the house as punishment even though he had no idea how, had consequently burned a few of them, and angered Gozaburo so much he'd put two cigarette's out on Seto's shoulder before throwing him in the closet for the rest of the day._

_ Without warning, Gozaburo raised the riding crop and struck down hard enough that Seto could hear it cut through the air. _

Seto sat up in bed just before his alarm went off, his heart pounding and perspiration trickling down his brow. He reached over to shut his alarm clock off, noting that his hands were shaking. Shivering despite the warm temperature of the room, he got out of bed and made his way to the bathroom. Just a stupid nightmare. Damn Alistair for making him go back in that room!

He groaned when he looked in the mirror. The punch Alistair had landed on his nose had, as he'd suspected, caused some discoloration and swelling, and it was so tender he could barely touch it. The scratches had started to scab over which just made them look worse. He couldn't go to work looking like he'd come from a street fight. Couldn't go anywhere like that really; the press would have a field day. He cursed Alistair again before trying to figure out what to do. Finally he walked back into his room, scooped his cell phone off his bedside table and called Roland.

"Hello?" the man answered sleepily.

"Can you do me a favor?"

"Of course," Roland replied, rubbing the sleep from his eyes and swinging his legs off his bed. He owed a lot to Seto Kaiba and was therefore always ready to do what he could to repay the kindness he'd been shown.

Back when Gozaburo had been in charge, Roland had worked as one of his body guards. He'd asked Gozaburo for an advance on his paycheck so that he could buy his daughter something nice for her sixteenth birthday. Gozaburo had refused and Roland had foolishly decided to steal some money from the wallet his boss sometimes entrusted him with, but Seto had seen him take it. He'd begged the ten year old not to tell, knowing it would cost him his job and possibly worse if Gozaburo found out. Seto had asked him what he needed the money for and Roland had explained.

"Put the money back," Seto had told him. "I'll give it to you." He'd produced twice as much as Roland had intended to steal out of his own wallet and handed it to him. "Make sure you get her something really special." Then he'd smiled rather sadly it had seemed to Roland who'd thanked the boy profusely, promising that anytime he ever needed anything, he'd jump at the chance to help.

"This is going to sound strange," Seto said, snapping Roland back to the present, "but can you go get me some sort of…make-up? I…" He paused, trying to think of some sort of justification for the state of his face. "I fell down the stairs yesterday and I need something to cover the bruise on my face." Roland had never known his boss to be clumsy but knew better than to pry.

"Yes, of course. Is there a particular brand I should look for?"

"How should I know?" Seto snapped. "I've never worn make-up before in my life. Just use your best judgment. You have a daughter, you must know _something_! Go get it and meet me in back of KC headquarters at eight-fifteen." Without waiting for a reply he hung up, tossed the phone on his bed and stalked back to the bathroom, glancing over the list hanging on the wall even though he knew what it said by heart. He washed his face and dried it with a fluffy white monogrammed towel, making sure to pat gingerly around his nose.

Once he was finished in the bathroom, he walked into his closet and pulled on his typical uniform: black turtleneck, black jeans, black belt with the KC logo emblazoned on the buckle, silver gauntlets, white Kaiba Corp trench coat, and black combat boots. He ran a comb through his hair, sprayed some cologne, and called it a day. He got to the dining room at precisely seven O'clock.

The housekeeper, Trudy, had laid the newspaper and a cup of black coffee out for him. While he waited for her to come back with breakfast he opened the paper to the economic section, in his opinion the only section that really mattered. He scowled when he saw an article titled: _The end of an era?_ _KC stock continues to plummet_. What did _they_ know? Did anyone ever both to look into _why_ exactly stock was at an all time low? No, of course not. As usual, the entire state of affairs was blamed on _him_. The author even had the audacity to suggest that 'perhaps leaving such a large company in the hands of a teenager' had 'finally proven to be too much pressure' and that the other executive officers might do better to seek a more 'seasoned' leader to 'steer Kaiba Corp back to glory.' Without reading another thing, Seto angrily scrunched the newspaper up and threw it across the room. It hit the wall next to the door and slid to the ground in a pathetic heap.

He reached for the coffee and burned the inside of his mouth after carelessly taking a huge gulp. He choked but managed to avoid spraying coffee everywhere by spitting it back into the cup. He heard the door open.

"This is boiling hot! I could have scalded my tongue on this you idiot!" He looked up from the coffee mug expecting to see Trudy cowering by the door, holding a tray of food, but to his disbelief it was Alistair, dressed in the same stupid faded tank-top he'd worn the day before and looking startled by Seto's outburst.

"What are _you_ doing here?" he asked, not bothering to soften the irritation in his voice. "I told you that breakfast was at nine. Can't you read a clock?"

"The clock in my room doesn't work," Alistair answered casually. "Besides, I was hungry and Mokuba told me you eat at seven."

"That doesn't mean you can just invite yourself to eat with me." Seto took some satisfaction in how much worse Alistair looked than him after their fight. Alistair's bottom lip was swollen and he had a dark bruise on his stomach and a very obvious black eye.

"I'll keep that in mind next time," Alistair replied, pulling out a chair on the far end of the oval table. "Your nose looks great by the way." Seto self-consciously put his hand over his nose just as Trudy came bustling in carrying a tray laden with toast, scrambled eggs, and sausage, plus the rest of the pot of coffee.

"Where's my apple?" Seto demanded after she'd set the tray on the table and put the plate and coffee in front of him.

"You'll get your apple just as soon as you finish this. When I give you that first you hardly touch anything else." Seto rolled his eyes, but took the fork and knife off the tray and began to dig into the eggs. "And what have you done to your nose?" she asked. Seto shooed her away.

"It's nothing." She pursed her lips and tutted, but he ignored her. She shook her head and picked the tray back up, preparing to return it to the kitchen.

"Oh!" she exclaimed when she caught sight of Alistair. She'd been employed at the Kaiba estate for quite some time and never before known Seto to eat breakfast with anyone else, let alone with someone who looked like they'd just been in a fight. "I'm sorry," she said once she'd recovered from her shock. "I didn't see you there…uh…"

"Alistair," Alistair told her, getting to his feet and preparing to shake her hand. She shook it uncertainly. None of Seto's guests had ever shaken her hand before.

"Ah, yes, of course. Seto, you didn't tell me that Mr. Alistair would be joining you for breakfast," she scolded him. He finished chewing before answering.

"'Mr. Alistair' didn't make that very clear to me either." She waved the tray at him in exasperation.

"What would you like for breakfast?" she asked Alistair politely. "And go ahead and sit back down, no need to stay standing on my account."

"Oh." Alistair went back to his seat. "I uh…I guess I'll have the same as Kaiba," he answered uncertainly.

"Not a problem, it should be ready in about twenty minutes." She turned to leave.

"Do you want some help?" he asked, uncomfortable with the prospect of making her go to all that trouble on her own.

"That's very kind, but you're our guest. Your only job is to enjoy yourself. I've been doing this for thirty years; I can handle it, don't you worry." Before he could say another word she slipped out the door and was gone.

"You realize that's her job, right? She's not doing me a favor by cooking my food; it's what I pay her for."

"Oh right, I forgot: you don't have to be nice to people as long as you pay them. You have to excuse me, I'm fresh off the boat and I'm still not used to how you guys do things here at the castle." Much as Seto was impressed by Alistair's ability to hold his own, he wasn't in the mood for it and wished the man would go away and let him enjoy his breakfast in peace.

"Are you just here to annoy me, or do you have something to say?" Alistair didn't like Kaiba's tone; it didn't exactly make him want to apologize. Before he could formulate a response, Trudy bounded back into the room with much more energy than Alistair would have expected from a woman her age; he pegged her to be in her late fifties.

"Where are my manners? I completely forgot to ask what you wanted to drink." She patted her silver bun to make sure it was still in place.

"Uh…"

"He'll have orange juice," Seto answered for him before cautiously taking a sip of the coffee which had finally cooled down enough for him to drink it. Trudy looked uncertainly back and forth between the two young men, unsure of what to do.

"Orange juice is fine," Alistair assured her, glaring at Kaiba. Not wanting to stay in a room so full of tension, Trudy nodded and hurried off again.

"You were taking too long. Now tell me what you want." He violently bit into a piece of toast.

"I was going to apologize for what I said last night, but now I don't think I will."

"I'm heartbroken. Was that all?" Alistair was flustered by Kaiba's blasé tone and didn't know how to respond.

"You're a real piece of work, you know that?" he managed finally.

"I'm so glad you noticed," Seto replied, stroking his hair and smirking. Alistair flared his nostrils, heat creeping up his face.

"You've got some nerve acting all cavalier after losing it last night."

"Ooh, big word. Did you look that up just to use on me?" Taking out his frustration by taunting people was one of Seto's guilty pleasures.

"Why do you have to be such a dick, Kaiba?" Alistair snarled.

"That sounds more like something that would come out of your mouth." Alistair was beginning to act like Joey which was just boring. He was starting to wish he hadn't thrown the newspaper so he'd have something other than Alistair's black and blue face to look at.

"I pity you." The avowal was made without sarcasm or malice and caused Seto to look up from his eggs. The anger was gone from Alistair's face, replaced by something more akin to wonder.

"Why?" Seto asked simply, his expression impassive and masklike.

"Because you don't even realize that you're living in a completely different reality than everyone else, do you?"

"What do you mean by that?"

"You act like every day is a battle you have to fight. You've had more experiences with magic than almost anyone I've ever met, yet you insist, and really believe, that it's all a hallucination, a trick. You don't, and I don't think you can, understand that life isn't made up of business deals because that's all that you were taught. You're lonely and you don't even realize it because loneliness was something Gozaburo scoffed at, wasn't it? Didn't let you feel that, did he? So yes, I pity you. I don't like you, but I feel sorry for you."

Seto found that Alistair's words left him utterly speechless. His training told him to make some retort, deflect the allegations, but he couldn't. He wasn't sure he saw the truth in everything Alistair had said, what left him staggered was the tone that he'd used, like he was really seeing Seto for the first time and having some kind of revelation. And he especially didn't like the pity, sincere or not. Seto Kaiba was a man to be admired, feared, hated, obeyed, not _pitied_. And he hated that Alistair was essentially saying that he was no different than his step-father.

On the other end of the table, Alistair felt like he'd figured Kaiba out. All of the bluster, the arrogance, the frigidity, it was all a front, a shield. The unnecessary hostility towards everyone and everything made sense; it was the only emotion that Gozaburo had allowed; that much was clear from the journal entry he'd read. Clearly, to be a Kaiba was to be strong and anger is often confused with strength when really it's just a cover-up for weakness, so naturally Kaiba, a product of Gozaburo's mantra, would turn out to be a man full of rage to shield himself from anyone discovering that he was, in fact, the same flawed product of humanity as everyone else.

It explained his obstinacy when it came to magic too; admitting that there were forces in the world that he couldn't understand would mean relinquishing control which, in his mind, would make him seem weak. The whole thing was actually quite tragic.

Seto couldn't stand being dissected by Alistair any longer and abruptly stood up and strode from the room without saying a thing.

A few minutes later, Trudy returned with a second tray of food and an apple. She tsked when she saw that Seto had left his guest alone.

"Thank you," Alistair said, taking the tray from her. It was loaded with even more food than Kaiba's had been. Trudy noticed him staring at it.

"Excuse me for saying so, but I thought you looked like you could use a square meal or two."

"I can't eat all of this." He was used to surviving on the bare minimum, even after staying with Dartz for seven years where food was plentiful. "Could we maybe share?"

"I couldn't possibly, it wouldn't be…well, proper." She hadn't been there in years, but Trudy was still devoutly British when it came to following protocol.

"Please. I know I'm not going to be able to finish all this food and I don't want it to get wasted." It was the kind of thing Seto would have done once upon a time and Trudy found herself pulling up a chair next to the disheveled young man.

She was appalled by his table manners, but nonetheless found Alistair to be very personable. He explained to her that he'd emigrated from his worn-torn country seven years ago after the death of his family to work for the Doma organization and aid its leader, Dartz, in helping make the world a better place only to find out that it had all been a lie. She listened with rapt attention, her brows becoming more and more furrowed as his story went on. By the time he'd gotten to the end, the food and orange juice were gone and she'd decided to take the poor boy under her wing and turn him into a proper gentleman.

"I'm very glad that Mr. Kaiba brought you here Mr. Alistair, and I'm so sorry that you've had it so rough, truly, but it's all behind you now. Mr. Kaiba will take care of you."

"I doubt that. Take care of me despite himself maybe." She waved the sentence away.

"I've been telling him for years to work on his presentation; it always gives people the wrong impression. Mr. Kaiba is touchy certainly, and a bit rough around the edges, but his heart's in the right place, always has been, despite everything his father put him through. I think all he needs is a little love in his life. He isn't exactly lacking in the looks department and last year at the corporate ball all the girls hung on his every word but," she sighed "I'm afraid he was too focused on business to notice. I've told him a million times to find a nice girl, but he never listens. He's very like his step-father in that respect, because of him I shouldn't wonder. Seto was the reason I stayed on here to be honest. After poor little Noah died I felt that I had no reason to hang about, I couldn't stand Mr. Gozaburo, but then Seto and Mokuba came along and I knew I couldn't leave."

"What happened to him? What did Gozaburo do?" She frowned.

"He was very hard on him. Mr. Gozaburo was too much of a businessman to be a good father. It's one thing to speak to a child like they're an adult, and quite another to act as though they actually are one if that makes sense. He never allowed Seto to act his age, didn't let him have any toys, or play with other children. There were many times that I'd see Seto in this very room studying when Iretired to my apartment in the evening, and he'd still be here when I came in the next morning. The poor boy was always exhausted, but very sweet, always telling me not to worry about him, that he was alright.

I never got him to admit it, but I think Mr. Gozaburo would hit him sometimes. I know it's horrible to say, but I wasn't sad when he died. He jumped out of a window on the top floor of the Kaiba Corp headquarters you know. I'm quite glad I wasn't there to see it. Seto was never quite the same after that, not that I blame him. I don't reckon anyone would be the same after seeing someone die like that." Alistair shrugged noncommittally, letting the fact that he and Kaiba had yet something else in common sink in. "I'd appreciate it if you don't mention to Seto that we've talked about all this; it's sort of family business, you understand."

"Of course. I won't say a thing, I promise." He smiled kindly at her, wincing as he stretched his bottom lip.

"Do you want me to get something for that?" Trudy asked concernedly, knowing better than to ask him what had happened.

"Oh, yes, thank you, that would be nice."

"Let me just take care of these dishes and I'll be back in a jiffy." She bustled around the table and stacked Kaiba's tray on top of Alistair's.

"Here, let me help you." He stood and picked the pitcher of orange juice off the table, intending to carry that and Kaiba's coffee pot if nothing else.

"Sit," she ordered him. "I've been doing this for longer than you've been alive; I can manage. Might I suggest that you freshen up in the bathroom just around the corner there? And I'll come back with some disinfectant."

"Are you sure?" he asked uncomfortably. She smiled.

"You're very kind. It's really alright. Go on, go wash your face; you've got a bit of yolk on your nose. As I said: bathroom's right around the corner there."

He left the dining room, feeling horribly bratty leaving the older woman to clean up after him, but followed her direction to the little bathroom. It was black and white themed like the rest of the house. Alistair looked at his reflection in the mirror, the first time he'd done so since he'd cleaned the blood off his chin last night. Kaiba had definitely done a number on him; it had been a long time since someone had managed to rough him up that badly.

He cupped his hands after turning handle on the sink and splashed the cold water on his face, being careful to get the egg off, but there was nothing he could do about the ring of black around his left eye. Oh well. It would go away in a few days.

Seto's mood had reached an all time low by the time he met up with Roland at KC headquarters. He'd spent the entire drive trying to cool off without much success. Thinking back on what Alistair had said kept making him angry all over again. How dare he? How _dare_ he? Who the hell did he think he was psychoanalyzing anyone when he couldn't even get through the night without crying out in his sleep?

To cap it all off, he got caught in traffic because some idiots had gotten into an accident. An _accident_! And it wasn't even eight O'clock yet!

When they finally arrived, he stormed out of the car and up to Roland who was waiting for him, holding a paper drugstore bag.

"What happened to-?" Roland started when he caught side of Seto's face.

"What do you have for me?" Seto cut him off.

"Well," Roland said, reaching into the bag and pulling out a glass bottle of some sort of flesh colored liquid. "The woman at the drugstore told me that this is called a base. I wasn't sure what would match your skin the best so I just got the lightest color." Seto took the bottle from him.

"How do you put it on?" he asked, examining it. Roland pointed to the lid.

"If you take the plastic lid off, there's a little pump. You press it and get some of the stuff on your finger and rub it on your face, like suntan lotion." Seto yanked the plastic covering off and pressed down on the pump causing a meager amount of the make-up to squirt into his palm. _Whoever designed this should be shot_, he thought, having to pump the stupid thing five more times before he had a more reasonable amount. He handed the bottle back to Roland and proceeded to smear the sticky mixture on his face and rub it in.

"How does it look?" Roland licked his lips nervously.

"Maybe I should have gotten it a shade darker…And maybe you weren't supposed to rub it into your lips..."

"You told me to put it on like sunscreen! Do you have a mirror?" Without waiting for the man to answer, he stepped up to his car and peered into the rearview mirror. He started in horror; the make-up was at least two shades lighter than his skin and it had colored his lips and patches of his eyebrows, leaving him looking very odd indeed.

"What the hell Roland?"

"I had no idea it would do that!"

"How do I get it off?" Seto demanded, fervently rubbing the back of his hand over his mouth to try to get rid of some of the color.

"Water?" Roland suggested tentatively. Seto narrowed his eyes.

"Do you have any water? Do you see any water anywhere around here? No. So give me some advice I can actually use."

"Well, it came with this sponge thing." The older man rummaged around in the bag and produced a white foam pad. "The woman said you use it to blend the color." Seto snatched it from him and began buffing his lips with it.

"Is that better?"

"Yes, much. Now you might want to fix your eyebrows as well."

"Of course."

"You still look a little washed out, but the bruise is covered." Seto sighed and tossed the bottle of 'cover-up' back in the bag.

"I guess that's the best I can expect. Come on, let's go. I trust you brought your report with you?" Roland nodded. "Good." With Roland in tow he swept off towards the back entry to Kaiba Corp, trench coat billowing out behind him.

In the time between breakfast and when Mokuba finally woke up, Alistair worked out on the floor of his room, convinced that if he had been in better shape he might have been able to give Kaiba what for. He knew that the Kaiba's had a private gym, but opted not to use it on the grounds that he didn't want to become used to their materialistic lifestyle. Besides, he didn't need some fancy machines, just his own body.

That done, he spent the next hour wandering around the house, finally being able to see the blueprints he'd studies come to life.

He knew that the Kaiba's were old money and that the estate had belonged to them for over a hundred years. Over a hundred years of decadence and snobbery he was sure. It was just as well that the name would die with the present day Kaiba brothers unless one of them had children, if they even counted since they weren't related to the family by blood in which case the name was dead already. Alistair found the rich's obsession with blood and lineage absurd, but not more so than the lengths they went to maintain it. He thought back to the entry in Gozaburo's journal and how his main concern was having a son to carry on the family name. It was madness.

He circled back around to the dining room to find Mokuba working on a large plate of pancakes that had been smothered in syrup.

"Morning Ali—woah; what happened to you?" Mokuba openly goggled at Alistair's eye and the ever-darkening bruise only half covered by his shirt. Alistair decided to tell him; after all, it would make Kaiba look bad.

"Your brother and I got into a fight last night."

"A fistfight?" Mokuba asked unnecessarily. "Why?" He knew Seto could fight, but he'd never seen him use the skill before.

"We were arguing and he ran out of things to say."

"Are you ok?"

"It looks a lot worse than it actually is." Mostly true. His stomach hurt along the bruise when he sat down and his eye hurt when he blinked but he'd suffered worse injuries before. "Look, don't worry about it. What I wanted to ask you was: do you want to go riding with me today?" He was sick of being cooped up in the house and longed for a little bit of fresh air.

"On your motorcycle?"

"Yeah. I thought we could drive up to the mountains. Oh, but you have to study, don't you?" He had forgotten. Mokuba shook his head.

"No, I get weekends off."

"It's the weekend?"

"It's Saturday." Alistair shrugged. He had no idea what the date was most of the time since it hardly mattered.

"So do you want to go?"

"Yeah, but I'm not sure Seto would like that. Besides, we're supposed to go to the mall to get some more clothes for you today. That's the plan anyway. Mr. Jones was going to pick us up at twelve."

"I don't need any more clothes," Alistair insisted. "I can just wash these in the sink when they get dirty." He indicated his tank-top and faded blue jeans.

"You don't have to you know; Trudy does the laundry. But you can't just walk around naked while they're being washed so you need some more clothes. Besides," Mokuba gave him a sympathetic smile, "don't you want a shirt that actually fits?" Alistair self-consciously crossed his arms in an unsuccessful attempt to hide his stomach. It was true that it was the same shirt he'd had since he was twelve, and even though Dartz had given them plenty of money and he could have bought a new one, he just hadn't thought it was important enough to bother, opting instead to get his trench coat.

"I guess you have a point. But I don't have much money left…"

"Don't worry about it." Mokuba replied unconcernedly, going back to eating his breakfast at an alarming rate. "We're covering your expenses while you're here."

"Oh," Alistair, not in any position to argue, replied simply.

As Mokuba had said, at precisely twelve O'clock, Alistair heard the sound of tires on the driveway and he and Mokuba left the house.

They both greeted Mr. Jones and Mokuba requested he turn the radio on.

"Seto hates having music on in the car, but I think it's way more fun," he yelled over the pounding beat of the pop song that was playing. "So whenever I go somewhere without him I have Alfred turn it up really loud." Three songs later, Alistair found himself agreeing with Kaiba's desire not to have music on in the car, but Mokuba was having a blast, singing along and dancing as much as was possible in the confines of the limo.

Finally they got to the mall and Mokuba instructed Mr. Jones, Alfred, to pick them up again at three unless he called to change their plans.

Alistair had actually never been to a shopping center before and found all of the people and shops overwhelming and slightly claustrophobic. Completely out of his element, he stuck close to Mokuba who'd tied his long dark hair up into a ponytail. Mokuba named a couple of stores he thought they could try and Alistair agreed even thought the names meant nothing to him.

"This is where Seto gets most of his clothes from," Mokuba explained. "The ones he doesn't get custom done." Alistair wasn't sure how he felt about wearing the same brand as Kaiba, but his resolute faltered when he saw that the clothes were actually appealing. Edgy t-shirts, pants, and boots seemed to be the shop's specialty.

"Good afternoon gentleman," a stylish employee with spiky silver-blonde hair greeted them, smiling broadly and flashing them his bleached teeth. "My name's Ari. Are you looking for anything in particular?" He eyed Alistair's faded and frayed clothes and bruised up face with derision, clearly certain that Alistair couldn't even afford to be in the store, let alone buy anything.

"Do you have anything new in?" Mokuba asked. Ari's gaze shifted downwards and he seemed to recognize the younger Kaiba.

"We just got our fall collection in," Ari explained, the disdain gone from his face. "Lots of bold colors, a little bit of leather. Spikes are very in this season as well. Is Mr. Kaiba looking to expand his wardrobe a little, because we have a pair of boots he might like." Mokuba looked thoughtful.

"I'll let him know, but I'm actually here to pick out some things for my friend."

"Of course, of course. Do you have any idea what you might be interested in?" Alistair didn't even know what half the items in the store were called, but refused to let the snooty salesman know that.

"I'm just going to look first, thanks," he replied dismissively, imitating Kaiba's usual tone since it seemed like the best way to handle the situation. It worked, and Ari slunk off to assist one of the other customers. Mokuba giggled.

"I don't think he was expecting that."

"Yeah, well, he had no right to look down his nose at me like that."

After walking around the whole store twice, Alistair found a couple of items he liked: two shirts, one long-sleeved with a black front panel and grey back panel, one short sleeved and white, emblazoned with a stylized Summoned Skull, three solid black muscle shirts, and two pairs of skinny jeans, one black, one dark wash.

As the cashier rang the clothes up, Alistair stared in shock at the amount of money each item cost. He looked over at Mokuba to see if he was seeing the same numbers he was, but the boy wasn't paying any attention.

Mokuba, unlike his brother, had very few memories of life before they'd been adopted; he'd only been four at the time after all, and therefore knew nothing of not living in luxury. As a result, money meant very little to him; he simply went shopping, handed the cashier a card, signed a receipt and went on his way. Often he didn't even know how much the things he bought cost since it didn't matter. To him, the amount of money he'd spent on clothes for Alistair was hardly a big deal.

"You need shoes too, don't you?"

"What? No, there's nothing wrong with my boots." Alistair glanced down at his maroon and black shoes. He'd gotten them a year ago so they were still in good shape. Mokuba made a face.

"Are you sure?" Alistair nodded. "Ok, what about socks?"

"I've never needed socks." Mokuba laughed.

"Ok, we're definitely getting you new shoes then, and socks. Come on. I know a great store, then we can take a break and get something to eat." Confused, Alistair followed him to a huge store that seemed to sell nothing but shoes of every size and description.

"What size are you?" Mokuba asked after shaking off the salesman who tried to attach himself to them.

"No idea."

"Show me the bottom of your shoe." Mystified, Alistair lifted his foot up so that Mokuba could see the underside of his boot. After looking at it for a moment, Mokuba was able to determine its size. "It has the number on the bottom, well, usually," he explained, leading Alistair to the section containing his size.

After ten minutes of looking and trying on, Alistair selected a pair of calf-high gray leather boots with studs on them, and Mokuba grabbed a couple of pairs of socks on the way to the cash register.

"That was fun," Mokuba declared once they'd left the shop, Alistair balancing the bag containing his new shoes on his arm with the other three bags they'd gotten from the first shop. "Let's get lunch. What do you want? I think I'll get a hamburger and fries." Secretly he was hoping that Hilary, who worked at the burger stand in the food court, was there. His redheaded companion shrugged.

"That sounds fine." He was actually sick of hamburgers and French fries since that was what he, Valon, and Raphael always defaulted to while on the road, but Mokuba seemed really gung-ho.

They headed towards the crowded and noisy food court. When Mokuba saw that Hilary _was_ working, he directed Alistair towards an empty table, took his order, ran a hand through his bangs and straightened his black KC t-shirt before getting in line.

Alistair watched with fascination as Mokuba proceeded to flirt with the cashier, a short girl with long blonde hair, held off her face with a baseball cap bearing the stand's logo. She was clearly a few years too old for him, but that didn't seem to deter him in the slightest. Mokuba must have said something funny because the girl tilted her head back and laughed.

Unlike Kaiba, Mokuba did not seem to have any trouble paying attention to girls and for some reason that struck Alistair as funny, not that he was really in any position to laugh at Kaiba's lack of a girlfriend; he'd never had one either, had never had time; Dartz had kept him and the others busy. That hadn't seemed to put Valon off; before meeting Mai, Valon hadn't spent many of their nights on the road alone, leaving Alistair to room with Raphael. And even though Raphael hadn't actually rolled around in the sack as far as Alistair knew, he hadn't been unwilling to talk about girls when the topic came up and he and Valon had had several spirited debates over whether blonde's or brunette's were 'hotter.'

Alistair had never participated in the discussions as he had absolutely no interest in girls whatsoever and cared about their hair color even less. He preferred to spend his nights practicing his dueling strategies and dreaming about the day he'd finally defeat Kaiba and watch on as the Seal of Orichalcos took his soul. He'd bored his two companions practically to tears on more than one occasion with his rants about how much he hated Seto Kaiba.

Mokuba returned with a tray of hamburgers, several containers of fries, and two large sodas.

"Dig in!" he announced, already unwrapping a burger.

"What did you say to that girl?" Alistair asked, mildly curious.

"Who, Hilary?" Mokuba asked casually. "Nothing." A flush had crept up his face and Alistair couldn't help but wonder if, were he still alive, Mikey would be interested in girls too. "She's cute, isn't she?"

"Oh, I don't know." Alistair looked over at the girl who was now taking the order of a group of teenagers, one of whom she seemed to know. "I guess."

"What do you mean you 'guess'? She's the prettiest girl I've ever seen," Mokuba gushed around a bite of hamburger. "I'm thinking about asking her to the corporate ball this year."

"Don't you think she's kind of old for you?" Alistair hadn't meant to burst his companion's bubble, but he hoped that by snapping Mokuba to his senses he'd avoid a potentially embarrassing situation. Mokuba looked injured.

"She's sixteen, that's only two years older than me. Besides, I hang out with adults all the time; she won't even be able to tell." Alistair threw his hands up in surrender.

"Hey, it's your thing, you're probably right. I'm certainly no expert."

"Have you ever had a girlfriend before?"

"No," he admitted, unwrapping a hamburger and taking a bite. It actually wasn't bad. "I never wanted one." Mokuba looked as shocked as though Alistair had suggested that they run around the mall dressed in nothing but the hamburger wrappers.

"How can you have never wanted a girlfriend before?" Alistair decided that 'because I was too busy obsessing over how to defeat your brother in a card game to think about girls' wasn't a very good answer.

"I was…focusing on other things."

"Oh…right. I'm sorry," Mokuba apologized, much chagrined. How could he have forgotten Alistair's past so easily? It took Alistair a moment to realize that Mokuba thought he had meant working for Dartz and losing his family.

"Yeah, well…"

"But hey, now you have time, and you never know, maybe there will be a cute girl at the aviation academy!" Oh right, he had a test to take next week. He had no doubt that he could pass it, but it was bound to be tedious.

The two finished their meal, Alistair having eaten one burger and half a carton of fries and Mokuba packing away the rest, plus four hamburgers, and Mokuba called Alfred to have him come pick them up.

"Are you sure you don't want to go riding?" Alistair pressed Mokuba while they waited on a bench outside the mall.

"I would, but like I said: I don't think Seto would like that. You can go though; I'll have George, our groundskeeper, pull it out for you and make sure it's got a full tank of gas and all that."

"Come on, what Kaiba doesn't know won't hurt him. It'll be really fun." Mokuba hesitated before answering. It was true that the odds of his brother finding out were slim to none since he was bound to be at work until stupid O'clock at night, and even if he did find out, what could he do? Yell maybe.

"Ok, let's do it!"

Seto sank into his desk chair and allowed himself a moment of rest. Dartz had managed to wreak havoc during his brief stint as owner of Kaiba Corp and it was up to him to sort it out and put the company back on track.

He'd spent the entire day so far in meetings. First with the head of the PR department to figure out the best way to let the public know that they were far from going under, then with the head of sales and her team who were going through some sort of existential crisis over the number of people wanting to return their Duel Disks. After that he'd had to sit through a video conference with some of the major shareholders and listen to them bitch about their concerns for the future of their investment. Finally, he had some well-earned time to himself. He was enjoying the silence of his office when his phone rang. Wondering what on earth he was needed for now, he picked up the receiver.

"Hello?" he said brusquely.

"Sir, it's Roland."

"What do you need? I told you that I'm not meeting with anyone else unless they can offer solutions and not just tell me about all the problems I already know about."

"No, it's nothing like that sir, I just got a call from Kanzo. He thought you'd want to know that Alistair just took off towards the mountains on his motorcycle."

"Why would I care about that?"

"Because Mokuba's with him." It took all of Seto's willpower not to smash the phone against the table out of pure frustration.

"And _why_," he said through gritted teeth, "did Kanzo think it was appropriate to let Mokuba go with him?"

"I have no idea. Should I call him back and have him send someone after them?" Seto was in no mood to deal with his brother or Alistair at the moment.

"No."

"Are you sure? I'm not doing anything, I could follow them. I mean, do you really trust Alistair with Mokuba after everything that happened?" Seto ran his tongue over his front teeth as he thought it over.

"Go ahead and follow them and call me immediately if anything happens."

"Will do."

Once off the phone, Seto reached out in front of him and pretended he was wringing Alistair's scrawny neck and possibly Mokuba's too.

Of all the days to pull something like this, why had they picked _today_? He didn't have time to be worrying about Mokuba falling off a cliff when he had so much to do. He loved his brother, but sometimes he could be incredibly foolish bordering on selfish. What was he thinking riding off with someone they barely knew and had no real reason to trust on the back of a _motorcycle_? He hoped it was worth it because if he had his way it would be the last thing he ever did.

The further they got from the mansion, the more relaxed Alistair began to feel. He loved riding almost as much as flying, especially out in the country like this where he could go as fast as he wanted. He sped up slightly, aware that Mokuba had never ridden on a motorcycle before, but wanting him to get to experience the thrill of going fast. Mokuba gripped Alistair more tightly, but didn't seem to mind the acceleration.

As they roared up the mountain path, dirt spraying out behind them, Mokuba reflected on what Alistair had said about Seto being too controlling of him. Maybe he had a point. After all, when Seto had been fourteen he'd already been in control of Kaiba Corp for a year, was readying the release of the first ever 3D dueling arena, and had almost achieved a black belt in Tae Kwon Do, surely he had to realize that Mokuba was old enough to go on a motorcycle ride.

When they finally reached the top of the mountain, Alistair bringing the bike to a dramatic sliding halt, and had a chance to admire the view, Mokuba had made up his mind to have a talk with his brother about giving him a little more freedom, with the understanding that he'd be having self-defense lessons from Alistair, although Alistair hadn't seemingly been able to take on Seto.

"Did you like riding?" Alistair asked, pulling his helmet off, setting it on the ground next to the motorcycle, and shaking his hair out.

"It was really fun!" Mokuba exclaimed, doing the same. "But it must be even better to be the one driving, huh?" Alistair nodded.

"It's the closest a person can come to feeling like they're flying and still be on the ground. And it's not hard to drive, not compared to a plane."

"I bet. Maybe I'll learn how to drive one someday."

"Sure. I could teach you."

"Why are you so nice to me?" Mokuba asked curiously, setting the helmet that was actually his brother's on the ground next to Alistair's. The question caught Alistair off guard.

"Why shouldn't I be?"

"I mean, you've said multiple times that you don't like my brother, so why are you nice to me? Is it to bother Seto?" The thought had just occurred to the younger boy who was always having to live in the shadow of his brother, how people treated him was dictated by their feelings towards Seto and no one seeming to actually care about him. Alistair saw the look of dismay on Mokuba's face and felt guilty since it was in fact true, in part, that he was eager to befriend Mokuba to get under Kaiba's skin, but it was also because the boy reminded him so much of Mikey, and also just because he was actually a good person, unlike most of the people Alistair had dealt with in his life.

"It's nothing like that," Alistair said finally. "Sure I don't like Kaiba, but that has nothing to do with how I feel about you. You were kind to me, and for that reason, I like you. Plus you remind me of my brother." Mokuba looked first relieved, then sympathetic.

"You must really miss him." Alistair nodded, not trusting himself to speak. It was moments like this when he missed Mikey the most. He really liked Mokuba, but he wasn't Mikey. And the thought that he'd never be able to take his own brother on a motorcycle ride in the mountains was heartrending.

Mokuba walked over to him and put a hand on his arm, trying to imagine how he would feel if something were to happen to Seto. He'd be devastated. Under his hand, he felt Alistair's arm shaking and looked up to see him crying silently, staring off at nothing, obviously lost in memories.

"Kaiba has no idea how lucky he is," Alistair said huskily, trying to compose himself, wiping the tears off his face with the back of his hand. Mokuba said nothing.

After Alistair pulled himself together, he and Mokuba went on as thought the moment had never happened and explored the patch of woodland on top of the mountain, finally retrieving the sandwiches Trudy had packed for them out of the compartment on the seat of the motorcycle, and sitting down to eat them while looking out onto the landscape below and finally laying down in the grass and looking up at the sky until Mokuba started fidgeting.

The view was beautiful, it wasn't that, it was that the grass was way pricklier than it looked, and he was convinced he'd already been bitten at least twice. He was a city boy through and through. Sensing Mokuba's discomfort, and correctly guessing its source, Alistair suggested that they head back. Gratefully, Mokuba agreed.

They were only about one-third of the way back down when they all but ran headlong into Roland on the narrow road. To avoid a collision, Alistair was forced to skid to a stop, but because the road was made of dirt and pebbles, the tires couldn't grip nor defy the power of physics and tipped over, taking Alistair and Mokuba with it. It landed heavily on Alistair's left leg. He couldn't be sure, but he didn't think it was broken, though definitely in severe pain.

He yanked his helmet off as Roland jumped out of his black pick-up truck to rush to their aid.

"Are you ok?" Alistair asked Mokuba in concern. Mokuba groaned, also taking his helmet off and rubbing his head.

"I'm not sure. I hit my head though, and I can't move my leg."

"Are you alright?" Roland asked, horrified that he'd been the cause of the accident, although Alistair had been driving far too fast, bending to try and help heft the machine off the two. With Alistair's help, he managed it. Alistair immediately got to his feet to assess the damage to himself and to Mokuba. He was more or less alright himself; his helmet, jacket, and riding gloves had absorbed much of the impact although his wrist felt sprained. Mokuba tried to stand, but immediately fell over, clutching his leg which was clearly broken.

"We have to get you to a hospital," Roland said unnecessarily. "I'll take you right now." He and Alistair helped Mokuba hobble over to the passenger seat and get him in the car.

Mokuba taken care of, Roland turned to Alistair.

"Can you follow behind?"

"Why? I'm fine." Taking in the way Alistair was favoring his left wrist as well as a black eye (although how he'd managed to get that Roland had no idea), Roland shook his head.

"You should have your wrist looked at at the very least. Can you drive?"

"Of course." Alistair had driven with broken bones before, a sprained wrist would hardly slow him down.

After the doctor's had dressed Mokuba's broken leg and assured a distraught Roland that it wasn't as bad as it could have been, and had told Alistair what he'd already known about his wrist being sprained, and treating several cuts on his palms and legs, it was time to call Seto.

It was with great trepidation that Roland dialed his boss's number.

"Sir," he started once Seto had picked up. "I have some bad news."

Seto's first thought was that Mokuba really had fallen off the mountain.

"What happened?" he demanded, already halfway out of his seat. "Where are you?"

"I'm at the hospital. Everyone's fine, but Mokuba broke his leg."

"He what? How?" There was a long pause. "Spit it out Roland!"

"I was driving up to check on them at the same time that they were coming back down and we almost ran into each other. Alistair managed to avoid hitting me, but the bike tipped over and landed on Mokuba's leg. The doctor said that it's not a bad break though."

"Well that's _great_ news," Seto spat sarcastically. "Jesus Christ Roland, don't you know how to drive?" Roland wasn't usually one to try to worm his way out of taking responsibility for his actions, but in this case, since he didn't care for Alistair anyway, he decided to make an exception.

"All due respect, but it wasn't really my fault; Alistair was driving way too fast for a mountain road."

"I couldn't care less whose fault it was, what is this, kindergarten? The point is that Mokuba's got a broken leg and now I have to interrupt my day to go deal with it."

"There's no need for you to come here, I can sort out the matter of insurance and get Mokuba home."

"Excuse me for being skeptical, but since you weren't able to keep Mokuba safe, which was your job in the first place, I'd rather deal with this myself." Without bothering to say goodbye, Seto hung up the phone and prepared to head over to the hospital. As he was leaving his office, Valarie looked up from her computer and eyed him questioningly.

"Push my meeting to tomorrow; I have to pick my brother up from the hospital," he explained shortly.

"Of course."

Seto arrived at the hospital twenty minutes later to find Roland, Alistair, and Mokuba, now on crutches and with a cast on his leg, waiting for him. He glared at all three of them. Roland and Mokuba looked properly chastised, but Alistair stared back at him defiantly which only served to piss Seto off further. He was sick of having to clean up other people's messes, he really didn't like hospitals, and the only emotion that should have been emanating from the redhead was shame at having caused the accident that had dragged Seto there.

On the ride back to the estate, Mokuba apologized profusely to his brother for having gone off when he knew he shouldn't have, and promised it would never happen again. He seemed to think that Seto's silence was an indication that he was gearing up to really let him have it when they got home. Alistair knew better. Gearing up though he probably was, Alistair was fairly certain it wouldn't be Mokuba bearing the brunt of Kaiba's wrath, but him.

Upon entering the grounds, Roland, with the help of chief of security Kanzo, unloaded Alistair's motorcycle (now sporting a long scratch down one side) and wheeled it off to the garage, but not before Seto shot Kanzo a look that said quite plainly how he felt about the man letting Mokuba drive off with Alistair.

It wasn't until the three of them were in the house that Seto finally spoke.

"Mokuba-."

"I'm sorry, I'm really, really sorry!"

"Go to your room." Mokuba let his head hang and proceeded to limp off, still not used to having to use crutches to walk. Once he was gone, Seto turned to look at Alistair. He narrowed his eyes and in one swift movement, pinned Alistair to the wall by his neck. Alistair, unable to fight back, could only glare right back at Kaiba who was standing practically nose to nose with him.

"Don't you _ever_ endanger Mokuba's life again," he breathed, his eyes boring into Alistair's. He then flung Alistair away from him and stalked back outside to the waiting limo that would take him to Kaiba Corp.

Alistair rubbed his neck. It could have been worse, and he was definitely going to store away a few insults about Kaiba wearing make-up for later.

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**Author's note:** I wanted to say thank you for the lovely reviews, they really made my day! ^.^

I think it's fair to note that while I want to do my best to stay true to canon, I will, and have, been picking and choosing certain things out of the dub and the original to try and weave them into one reality and I'm not really touching the manga as far as Seto's characterization is concerned, though there is a lot of great stuff in there, just to throw that out there.


	5. Seeing Things As They Are

**Disclaimer:** Unless I accidentally bought the rights in my sleep I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh! (which is a pity really...)

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_"Beautiful face. Beautiful body. Horrible attitude."_

~Jennifer L. Armentrout, _Obsidian _

Chapter 5

For the next few days, Alistair barely saw either of the Kaiba brothers. He caught glimpses of Kaiba when he came home from work, often well past eleven at night, and saw Mokuba at meals, but other than that he was on his own.

He spent much of his time in the garden sitting under an old willow tree and thinking or reading books that he'd borrow from the Kaiba's private library. He'd thought that the library would consist mainly of works of non-fiction, but there were plenty of novels; the whole second tier of the library was full of them.

Alistair, for obvious reasons, hadn't read much in the way of novels growing up, and had never really given reading as a pastime much thought, but he found himself devouring one book after another, though he had to pause often to look up words he didn't know in an old dictionary he'd found on the library's ground floor. He enjoyed the feeling of being transported to a different world, a world where, without fail, good would triumph over evil.

Over the course of four days he read through ten books. He was currently partway into a book called _Beowulf_. He didn't care for the title character, finding him to be a hotheaded, arrogant, attention-seeking braggart. He found that he empathized much more with Grendel, the book's supposed villain and had winced several times during the scene where Beowulf severed the creature's arm and then proceeded to torment him further before killing him.

As the week came to a close, Alistair couldn't help but wonder if Kaiba had forgotten to call about the test. He was eager to take the test because the sooner he took the it, the sooner he could log enough hours to be an officiously licensed pilot, the sooner he could turn his back on Kaiba forever and be the better for it.

Thursday morning, five days after the motorcycle incident, he decided to confront Kaiba about setting a date for the test.

He was waiting in the dining room for Kaiba to show up for breakfast, but after fifteen minutes, Trudy said that he wasn't coming.

"If he's not down by seven-fifteen, he's opted to get something on the way to work, or more likely, to skip breakfast altogether." She looked deeply disapproving. "What would you like, the usual?" He nodded, having learned better than to offer his help in the kitchen.

When she returned twenty minutes later, he set _Beowulf_ aside and pulled up a chair for her. The tray she carried contained two plates and two cups of tea; she had learned that he wouldn't eat unless she shared.

"What are you reading?" She asked, noting the two books, one of which was a ratty old dictionary, lying on the table.

"Bee-o-wuhlf."

"Beowulf?" She was surprised. She had assumed, given his background, that such works would be beyond him and internally chastised herself. "Wouldn't you rather read something more pleasant?"

"You know it?" Alistair asked, equally surprised. The book was very old; he'd assumed that it was obscure.

"A very long time ago when I was in school. I don't remember much about it except that it was brutal and that I didn't like it."

"It's not very happy," he agreed, biting into a piece of toast. "But I like it even though Beowulf," he tried to pronounce the name as she had, "is really obnoxious."

"Don't talk with your mouth full," she chastised him gently. "If you don't like the main character, what about it appeals to you?" He pondered the question, trying to remember to keep his mouth shut while he chewed.

"I feel bad for Grendel."

"Grendel was the monster though, wasn't he?" she asked, sipping her tea. Alistair nodded, his mouth now full of sausage. He swallowed before continuing.

"Yes, but that's just it. I don't think he's a monster. To me, a monster has to know the difference between right and wrong and choose to do evil. I don't think Grendel does. The author makes him seem much more like an animal, and animals can't be evil. Even if they kill, they don't know that killing is bad, and moreover," he tested a word he'd learned just the day before, "they mostly just kill to survive. They either kill to eat or because they feel they, or their territory is being threatened.

Hrothgar's hall was obviously built in Grendel's territory and he defended it and reaped the benefit of easy prey. But it doesn't seem like he made the people he killed suffer on purpose, he wasn't torturing them. Then Beowulf came along and cut his, Grendel's, arm off before killing him which seems way more cruel to me than anything Grendel ever did, yet Beowulf is the hero and Grendel is the monster. Typical."

"It certainly sounds dreadful when you put it that way, but think of it like this: if Beowulf didn't kill Grendel, more people would have gotten hurt. Surely the safety of the men is more important than the life of one monster." Alistair's face darkened.

"No. They could have moved the hall. But they decided that they had more of a right to that land than Grendel just because they wanted it. And they didn't care what they had to do to keep it. They didn't care that they were killing another being unnecessarily."

Realizing she'd touched a nerve, Trudy decided to change the subject.

"You enjoy reading then?"

"Yes. But before this week I didn't read that much. I never had time."

"What have you read so far?" He thought back.

"A couple of fantasy novels, one of them was called _The Hobbit_, another one was _Gulliver's Travels_, there was one called _Dragons of Prune_ or _Purn_ or something like that, a book of short stories by some guy named Poe, I read part of _Dracula_ but it was boring, _Ender's Game_, which I really liked, a couple whose names I forget, and now I'm reading this one."

"And you read all that in just a couple of days?" Trudy was impressed.

"I haven't had anything else to do."

"Do you know what you're reading next yet?"

"No. I was going to finish this then go back to the library and find something new. I usually pick one at random and see if I like it."

"If I may, I have a suggestion. It's not fantasy, and it's not as action packed as any of those, but one of my favorite books growing up was called _Black Beauty_, do you know it?" He shook his head. To be honest, 'black beauty' sounded like a porn Valon might watch.

"It's about a horse, written from his perspective, and documents his life. It's quite sad, but given how you felt about Grendel, you might like it. There's probably a copy in the library, but if not I'm pretty sure I still have it. Would you be interested?" He nodded even though it didn't sound that interesting because he didn't want to hurt her feelings.

Within the next hour he'd finished _Beowulf_ while sitting out in the garden in his usual haunt on the stone bench under the willow tree. He knew he wasn't supposed to be happy that Beowulf got killed at the end, but he couldn't help but appreciate the poetic justice of Beowulf's death at the hand of a 'monster.'

Stretching (which caused the bones in his neck and back to crack audibly), Alistair yawned and picked up _Beowulf_ and the dictionary and prepared to take it back to the library.

The Kaiba's library, though seldom used anymore, was beautiful without being showy, and it was easily his favorite place in the house, though the bench outside was his favorite overall.

It was huge, two tiered, and paneled with the same dark wood as the bookshelves. The lighting was warm and emanated from old fashioned looking hand-fired glass orbs that were probably worth a pretty penny all by themselves, never mind all of the first edition and antique books the library contained.

He ascended the stairs to the second tier, lush dark green carpet muffling his footsteps.

He returned _Beowulf_ to it's shelf and pondered how to go about looking for _Black Beauty_. He vaguely remembered from the little formal schooling he'd received that libraries had a special way of organizing the books to make them easier to find, a trick. He knew that the first tier contained only non-fiction, but there had to be more to it than that. He studied the shelf in front of him, looking for something they all had in common. Using his skills as a hacker, he quickly realized that all of the books in front of him with the exception of _Beowulf_ were written by authors whose last names started with B. He smiled to himself. Who knew his ability to crack code would assist him in a library? He realized though, that if the books were in alphabetical order by author he wouldn't be able to look for _Black Beauty_ since he had no idea who wrote it.

He left the library, careful to shut the lights off behind him and dictionary still in hand, he set off to find Trudy.

She wasn't in the kitchen and he was at a loss where to go next when she happened to walk up from the pantry.

"Oh! Alistair! You gave me a fright! What are you doing here?"

"I was looking for you. I finished _Beowulf _so I went to look for _Black Beauty_ in the library but I don't know the author's name."

"Oh, of course. It was written by a woman called Anna Sewell. But don't worry about it; I'll go get it for you. As I said: I'm almost certain I still have a copy. I'll be right back. Here, can you go tell Mokuba that lunch is just about ready? Ever since he broke his leg he seems to have forgotten when lunch is and that it is to be eaten in the dining room not off the floor of his bedroom while he plays video games. I only allowed that up until now because I knew he hadn't quite gotten the hang of his crutches yet."

With that, she disappeared back downstairs, past the pantry, to what Alistair knew to be the apartment she shared with her husband, the groundskeeper.

Alistair meandered towards Mokuba's room, not excited to have to spend one-on-one time with him as they'd been avoiding each other since the debacle on Saturday.

As he approached Mokuba's room, he heard the sound of gunfire emanating from the game room. He opened the door as noisily as possible so as not to startle Mokuba who seemed to be fully immersed in his sniper game. He was seated on the floor in front of one of the giant TVs with his broken leg propped up on a pillow.

"Mokuba?" he called.

"Hang on!" Mokuba replied over the sounds of gunfire. Alistair found himself counting to ten in his head to offset the feeling of panic that had started to form in the pit of his stomach. It was a game, just a game. It wasn't real.

Mokuba finally came to a save spot and paused.

"What's up?" he asked, turning (with some effort) to look at Alistair. "Are you ok?" He noted how pale Alistair looked. Alistair nodded, his heart rate returning to normal.

"Trudy told me to come get you for lunch."

"Tell her to bring it here."

"She insists that you come down to the dining room." Mokuba made a face.

"That's so far from here. Ugh. Fine. I'll be down in a couple of minutes."

"Alright, I'll tell her." He hesitated in the doorway. "Look, Mokuba, I'm so sorry about getting your leg broken and getting you in trouble with your brother." Mokuba's face took on a drawn appearance not unlike the expression worn so often by Kaiba.

"It's ok. I shouldn't have agreed to go. It was fun though mostly. But it made me realize that maybe Seto's right; I can't take care of myself well enough to do things on my own." The mask cracked and Alistair could see how upset the fourteen year old was.

"He's not right," Alistair said firmly. "With a little bit of training you could take care of yourself. Besides, if he never lets you try you'll never know what you can do on your own."

"When I'm older maybe."

"You're fourteen Mokuba! How old is 'old enough' to go to the mall by yourself? To have friends? Sixteen? Eighteen? Never? I understand that he's trying to protect you, I'm an older brother too, I get it, but I learned the hard way that no matter how hard you try to keep the people you care about safe things are going to happen that are outside of your control and you still lose them! You might not get killed by a bomb, but eventually you're going to resent how he treats you and leave!" Alistair suddenly realized he was shouting and lowered his voice. "Mikey was taken from me before he had a chance to grow up, but Kaiba has no excuse to keep you dependent on him. Or do you _want_ to live in his shadow forever?" Wide-eyed, Mokuba shook his head. "Then you have to stand up to him, remind him that you're not a child anymore and that he should stop treating you like one."

"I don't know about you, but trying to tell Seto anything doesn't usually go so well for me."

"Have you ever really tried?"

"No," Mokuba admitted. "I give up after he says no the first time. Do you really think being assertive would work?"

"You're not asking, you're telling him. Just tell him that whether he likes it or not you're going to do what you want to do. But maybe let your leg heal first." Mokuba smiled ruefully.

"That's probably a good idea. Thanks Alistair."

"No problem. We'd better get going though before Trudy sends someone after us." Mokuba giggled, reaching for his crutches.

"Has she gotten to you already? She's really nice, but she can be kind of bossy, even to Seto."

With Alistair's help, he and Mokuba made for the dining room post-haste where they were met by an exasperated Trudy.

"I thought I'd have to send the hounds after you two. Sit down and eat before it gets cold for heaven's sake!"

Lunch turned out to be roast beef sandwiches with a light salad on the side. And as always, there were steaming cups of tea alongside the water and soda.

Having been helped into his seat, Mokuba set upon the food like he hadn't eaten for days rather than since breakfast.

Alistair, still unused to eating so much food in one day, let alone in one meal, stared at his plate uncertainly. Sensing his thoughts, Trudy said:

"Don't even think about getting up until you've cleared your plate."

"I can't possibly—."

"Eat it. Lord knows you're far too skinny. Oh, and I've found the book; I'll be right back with it."

"What book?" Mokuba asked around a mouthful of sandwich.

"_Black Beauty_. She thought I might like it." Mokuba nearly choked trying to keep himself from spewing food all over the table.

"That sounds like a porn movie," he managed finally and both he and Alistair shared a laugh.

Alistair was only a few bites into his salad when Trudy returned, hastily straightening her gray hair which always seemed to be coming out of her bun, and brandishing a hardcover book with a black horse on the front.

"I'll leave this here for you." She set the book on the table beside Alistair.

"What's for dinner Trudy?" Mokuba asked.

"I thought pot pie might be nice. Plenty of leftovers for your brother whenever he decides to drag himself home from that company of his. In any case, enjoy your meal boys."

After lunch Alistair had intended to start reading _Black Beauty_, but Mokuba asked if he'd play a video game with him, so after Trudy cleared the dishes and tutted at Alistair for not having finished his entire sandwich, the two went back upstairs to the game room.

"You can pick something. The ones on the second shelf are all multi-player."

Alistair scanned the titles, noting the thin layer of dust coating the tops of the boxes of the multi-player games and wondered again at how lonely Mokuba must get.

He selected a racing game and Mokuba eagerly loaded it, excited to finally have someone to play games with.

Alistair picked up on the controls quickly, having learned to drive first from practicing with simulations, and turned out to be quite good at it, though Mokuba was better.

They played for two hours before Mokuba proposed they try something else. He was hoping to try his sniper game in two player mode, but the look on Alistair's face when he suggested it caused him to quickly retract the idea.

Of course Alistair didn't want to play a war game; it was in a war zone that he'd grown up, and also there that he'd lost his family. Mokuba silently scolded himself for being so uncouth.

They ended up playing a fantasy fighting game which Alistair also proved to be good at, and the activity kept them occupied until dinnertime.

After dinner, Alistair begged off playing more games and retreated to his room. It wasn't that he didn't enjoy Mokuba's company, but he was a lone wolf by both nature and nurture, and relished in the time he got to spend alone.

Lying on the couch, Alistair cracked open _Black Beauty_ and started to read, hoping the book would keep him occupied until Kaiba came home and he could confront him about setting up the test.

Alistair hadn't expected to find the book very engrossing, but after ten pages he found that he couldn't put it down. Never in his wildest dreams did he think he'd find himself identifying with a horse, and yet, all of the trials and tribulations Black Beauty had to endure, helpless to prevent any of the bad things from happening, trapped in a system that left him at the mercy of those in charge, a pawn, were themes he was certainly familiar with. He found himself actually crying over the book as Black Beauty saw that a cart horse has died and hopes it is his friend Ginger who had been suffering horribly. Over the years, Alistair had seen people unto whom he'd wished the same fate for the same reason.

He set the book aside and cried into his palms, images of the maimed, deathly ill, and dead people he'd seen back at the refugee camps he'd stayed in (which in reality had only really been masquerading as safe havens from the actual battleground) flashing before his eyes.

It was in this moment of weakness that he realized Kaiba would be home soon and he tried to pull himself together, allowing several more tears to slide down his cheeks before steadying his breathing and effectively calming himself down. He had just stood to go to the bathroom and wash his face off when he heard tires on the gravel driveway. He silently cursed his bad luck. There was no way he was going to let Kaiba see him with a tear streaked visage, so he hurridly cleaned his face, though not much could be done for his bloodshot eyes.

Having done all he could, he made his way to the foyer, hoping to catch Kaiba as he was walking through the door, but when he got there it was obvious that he'd missed him. Cursing again, this time not so silently, he wondered where Kaiba could have gone since he obviously hadn't gone to his room or Alistair would have run into him on his way down. Perhaps he'd gone to the kitchen. Trudy had mentioned leaving out food.

The kitchen was empty as it turned out, though he did see the note Trudy had left saying she'd put Kaiba's dinner on the top shelf of the fridge. Where could Kaiba have gone?

He puzzled over it until he suddenly remembered that Kaiba went swimming every night. He would know better than to swim on a full stomach, and had therefore possibly gone straight there. It was worth a shot.

There were two entrances to the Kaiba's indoor pool; one main entrance, and another which first led through a sort of changing room. It was through this doorway that Alistair intended to enter. As he walked down to the pool area, he thought about how to approach Kaiba about calling the aviation school. Being assertive would be potentially risky because now Kaiba would expect that of him and have surely come up with a counter. He could try being polite, though it didn't appeal much to him. He finally settled on being polite so long as Kaiba remained civil.

He walked down a short flight of steps and let himself into the changing room. Sure enough, Kaiba had been there, the crumpled black clothes and more importantly, white Kaiba Corp logo embossed jacket were dead giveaways. On the other side of the door he could hear the splashing of water. He turned the handle, opened the door, and was so taken aback by what he saw that he almost forgot why he was there.

The pool was beautiful and had obviously been there since the house was built. The entire room was tiled in a style that was obviously in imitation of a fancy Turkish bathhouse. Everything was a mixture of white, blue, and sea green. A skylight in the ceiling let in the moonlight and bathed the entire room in its yellow-white glow. But none of that was what had caught Alistair's attention.

Kaiba was standing with his back to the door on one of two diving boards, and apparently hadn't heard it open. Given his daily routine of swimming laps and weekly Tae Kwon Do workouts, he was in excellent shape with a definite swimmer's build: lean but strong. The muscles in his back strained as he put his arms over his head, obviously about to dive into the pool. He bounced up and down on the edge a few times before executing the dive. As he flipped forwards he caught sight of Alistair standing in the doorway, which broke his concentration and ruined his form, but luckily his body moved automatically, and although it wasn't the best dive he'd ever made, it was still recognizable. His arms cut through the water and he surfaced quickly, swimming to the edge of the pool and hauling himself out, water dripping down his chest and back.

"What the hell are you doing here Alistair?" he demanded, crossing his arms. He was extremely annoyed to have his, what he liked to think of as a sort of sanctuary, violated by Alistair who he knew must have followed him here to either ask him something or start a fight.

Alistair forced himself to look at a point over Kaiba's left shoulder instead of at his toned body and tried to formulate a sentence.

"Uh…I just wanted to know whether you called the aviation school to set up a, uh, time for me to take the test you mentioned." Seto rolled his eyes. Alistair was obviously not as immune to his well-trained ability to intimidate people after all; the man couldn't even look him in the face.

"If I were you I'd work on my ability to communicate Alistair. The answer to your question however, is yes, I did. And the fact that you clearly think I forgot is insulting. I talked to my old flight instructor and told him about your unusual circumstances and he has agreed to cut you a very illegal deal. If you go in and fly with him, once with each kind of plane, he'll make a decision as to whether or not you've earned a license. If, as I suspect, he finds you to be competent, he will award you a license at the graduation ceremony in November at which time I'll test you out myself. Any questions?" Alistair shook his head, his eyes straying back to Kaiba's chest.

Seto smirked. "This would be an appropriate place for you to insert a 'thank you.'"

"Thank you," Alistair replied vaguely. Seto's smirk metamorphosed into a scowl.

"Now get out and never bother me here again." Alistair obediently left the pool and walked back to his room. He sat down heavily on the couch, trying to processes what had just happened.

Never in his life up until this point had the concept of sexuality occurred to him. To find himself mesmerized by Kaiba of all people was ridiculous, and yet…Just thinking about droplets of water running over smooth muscle made him feel hot all over. Growing up the way he did left little time for forming any sort of opinion about sexual orientation, so the realization that he might be attracted to another man wasn't nearly as earth-shattering to him as being attracted to Kaiba in particular. Certainly on some subconscious level he'd always known that the man was handsome, but it had never hit him quite so strongly before. He felt as though he'd opened Pandora's Box, and that from now on he would never look at the world, or at the very least, men, the same way again, and definitely not Kaiba. The thought was terrifying.

He tried to pick up _Black Beauty_ again, but found focusing difficult and the words started to blur together. He chalked it up to tiredness and decided to go to sleep. He had taken up the habit of sleeping under the bed as opposed to on it after several restless, not to mention nightmare filled nights. And though the arrangement did nothing to abate his nightmares, it did allow him to fall asleep more quickly as the enclosed space made him feel more secure.

He brushed his teeth in the bathroom, pulled the comforter and a pillow off of the bed and spread them out underneath before settling in for the night.

For the first time in recent memory, Alistair was not plagued by nightmares. Instead, he had a very vivid dream about a certain sapphire-eyed CEO that left him just as shaken when he awoke as if he'd had a nightmare, but it was a very different type of disquiet. Concentrating on anything proved impossible and he knew he'd have to do something to relieve the itch-like feeling in his lower stomach and get Seto Kaiba out of his head.

* * *

**Author's Note: ** Though it may seem like a stretch to have Alistair 'all of a sudden' start drooling over Seto, keep in mind that he's been obsessing over this guy for _years _and therefore has a very specific image of him in his head (that is to say: Gozaburo 2.0), so for him to suddenly see the object of his obsession (Seto) in a completely unfamiliar context (shirtless and dripping wet) is going to have a profound effect on him, in this case an unexpectedly sexual effect. In short: in this scene Alistair sees Seto as he is for the first time: a very attractive young man, and will have to come to terms with how that impacts his feelings towards him as a person.


	6. The Business Meeting

**Disclaimer:** Though I put a lot of effort into this story, Yu-Gi-Oh! does not belong to me. *Tear*

* * *

_"Getting money is not all a man's business: to cultivate kindness is a valuable part of the business of life."_

~Samuel Johnson

**Chapter 6**

As Alistair met up with Mokuba in the dining room for breakfast, he still hadn't quite gotten over what he'd done and was extremely embarrassed about it even though no one else would possibly be able to tell.

"Morning Mokuba," he greeted him.

"Morning. Hey, I was wondering if you wanted to maybe play video games with me again today."

"Sure. It was really fun."

"Oh, and at one Seto has a lunch with a potential new manufacturing partner and since I'm vice president, I'm going too. Do you want to come? The restaurant is really nice. It's Chinese since that's where the guy whose name I should probably memorize before I go is from."

"Um…I'm not sure your brother would want me to go." Mokuba rolled his eyes.

"And you were telling _me_ to stand up to him. What's he going to do, have you thrown out? Don't worry about Seto, do you want to go or not?" In all honesty the answer was no for a multitude of reasons, not the least of which was the fact that he'd stood under the shower masturbating to the memory of Kaiba's abs. However, being able to get out of the house held appeal, and plus, maybe at the business meeting he could find a way to make Kaiba look bad and ruin the deal and prevent Kaiba Corp from profiting from the probable exploitation of the people working at the manufacturing company. Besides, Mokuba had a point; there was no way he was going to let himself be intimidated, for whatever reason, by Kaiba.

"You're right. I'll go if you really think that's ok."

"The only thing is that it's a really fancy restaurant so unless you're Seto they aren't going to let you in unless you're dressed to the nines." Alistair stared at him blankly.

"Didn't we just get me new clothes?"

"Yeah, but not the kind you wear to a restaurant like this. It's not dinner so I'm not talking suit and tie, but something nice. Like, I'm going to wear more or less what Seto wears but without the jacket."

"Couldn't I just wear the long-sleeved shirt?" Mokuba looked thoughtful.

"Yes I think that's fine. But I don't know about jeans. I wouldn't. You might have to borrow some of Seto's dress pants." Alistair was appalled at the very thought.

"No, no way. I'll wear the black jeans and if they say no I'll just hang out downtown until you're done with the meeting." Mokuba laughed as Trudy bustled in with breakfast.

"Fair enough."

As he prepared to meet Mr. KD Au, CEO of Sapphire Technology with whom he was hoping to partner, Seto ran through the list in his mind of all the points he wanted to make at the meeting. He hated schmoozing but it was a necessary evil in the world of business, and he wanted Sapphire to manufacture the computer chips for the latest Duel Disk incarnation. He always cut deals like this in person, not trusting anyone else to do it for him.

As the limo pulled up to the restaurant, he ran over his second mental list of Chinese etiquette and current events so as to put Mr. Au in good spirits.

He was directed to a private table to await the arrival of the other CEO. He idly looked over the menu, hoping that Mokuba wouldn't show up late and create a bad first impression. To his astonishment and frustration, Mokuba, for whatever reason, had thought it was appropriate to bring Alistair with him. He should have known better than to bring anyone, but especially Alistair, to a business lunch.

"Hey Seto!" Mokuba greeted his stony-faced brother. "I hope it's ok that I brought Alistair, I thought he might like the food here." Seto sighed. One look at Alistair told him that the man would undoubtedly try to cause trouble, and this was a very important deal. Not wanting to cause a scene, he kept his voice low.

"Mokuba, you had no business bringing him with you, but you knew that, didn't you?" His second comment was directed at Alistair, who still wasn't able to look him in the eyes. "Look, Au's going to be here any minute, so I don't have time to deal with you." He signaled a nearby waiter over. "Please find my…_friend_ a table and add his bill to my tab." The waiter, sensing the tension, and familiar with the businessman's temperament, merely nodded and mumbled 'yessir," before guiding Alistair to a small table on the other side of the restaurant.

"I'll be right with you," the waiter promised before hurrying off. While he was gone, Alistair cracked open the heavy leather-bound menu on the table and noted that there were no prices listed; an upscale establishment to be sure. That anyone could make enough money that they didn't need to know how much something cost before buying it was an unbelievable show of conspicuous consumption. Still, if that's the way Kaiba wanted it, he had no problem taking advantage. He was very annoyed with himself for being so uncomfortable at having seen Kaiba. As soon as he'd laid eyes on him he'd felt the heat creeping up his face and couldn't even make eye contact.

When the waiter, a man in his early twenties named Feng, returned to take Alistair's order and bring him a glass of water, Alistair pointed at a random item on the menu, having no idea what any of them were. Food was food, and he wasn't even paying for it so it didn't matter much to him what it was anyway.

Mokuba was horribly bored by the meeting since most of it was just exchanging pleasantries, and the rest dealt with actually making an agreement, all of which was conducted in Chinese; a language he wasn't completely competent in yet. His presence was mostly what was required at meetings like these and Seto did almost all of the talking. He knew that he was supposed to be paying attention, but instead found himself daydreaming about Hilary while absentmindedly chewing his food.

Finally, after what seemed like a very long time, the check arrived and Seto and Mr. Au prepared to say goodbye. Business cards were exchanged and upon leaving the restaurant, both CEO's appeared to be pleased with the deal.

"Seto, we have to get Alistair," Mokuba reminded him. The artificial smile Seto had plastered on his face slid off to be replaced by a scowl.

"Oh right. Mokuba, why did you bring him? You realize that not only was it a private lunch date, if he would have sat with us, he would have tried to wreck the deal?" Mokuba's naivety was astonishing to him.

"Oh. I'm sorry, I didn't even think about it being rude, I just wanted someone to talk to. You know my Chinese isn't the best and that makes meetings like this really boring. I don't even know what's going on half the time." Seto sharply exhaled through his nose in frustration.

"This isn't a game Mokuba, this is _business_. Do you think I really give a damn about him or his family? Of course not, not any more than he really cared about my health or your broken leg; it's just part of how business works. It's not supposed to be fun or interesting, and mostly it is, as you say, boring, but it's what pays for the food we ate today, for your hospital bills, for your tutors, your clothes, your games. Do you understand? Your attitude could be the thing that makes the difference between a yes and a no. If he would have noticed that you weren't paying attention today, I might not have been able to make the deal." Mokuba hung his head.

"I understand. I'm sorry. I'll do better next time."

"And don't ever bring Alistair to a meeting like this again. Not only is it completely inappropriate, I don't trust him. Or have you forgotten that he almost got us killed?" Much chagrined, Mokuba nodded. "Good. Now let's get him and get out of here; the lights in this place are giving me a headache and I still have to deal with Public Relations and Marketing."

The thought alone was enough to onset a migraine because the outcome would probably involve him having to give a public statement. He also had to decide what to do about that stupid clothing company wanting him to be the face of their fall line. They had offered quite a lot of money, but he abhorred the idea of modeling for them, although the PR department seemed to think it was a good idea. Something about being seen as a hot celebrity getting girls to buy duel disks or something else nonsensical like that. So he'd probably end up agreeing despite his own feelings about it. Anything to put Kaiba Corp back on top.

Alistair had no idea even after eating his meal what it had been, but it had been delicious, as was his dessert and he in no way regretted having come with Mokuba to lunch even though he'd been exiled by Kaiba from his table, and he'd chatted with Feng every time he came to refill his water and when he'd brought food and dessert. Not even seeing a surly looking Kaiba with Mokuba in tow coming to 'collect' him as Kaiba put it could dampen his spirits.

"Before we leave, do you have some money I could give Feng?" he asked, more so addressing Mokuba.

"Who?" Kaiba asked, and Mokuba looked equally confused.

"Our waiter, or at least, my waiter. I had a really nice conversation with him, and I know you're supposed to tip waiters if they do a good job, and he did, so…" he trailed off before he got out of his depth. Kaiba continued to look at him blankly.

"I already gave a tip; it's built into the bill."

"Right, so then that's normal, but I wanted to give something extra because I liked him." Kaiba rolled his eyes, but reached for his wallet. Pulling out a bill, he said:

"Just for your information, what you're about to do is a complete waste of money, and it's stupid. The car will be waiting in the back because there are some reporters sniffing around out front. If you're not back from your little 'act of charity' in ten minutes I'll let Jones know you've decided to walk." Alistair took the bill from him.

"I'll keep that in mind." He said to Kaiba's retreating back. He looked around for Feng, but didn't see him and assumed he must be in the kitchen so he headed towards the kitchen entrance that he'd noticed as they'd walked in. A harassed-looking waitress was hurrying out to the main floor as he approached, carrying two heavily laden trays that were obviously far too heavy for her.

"Do you want some help?" Alistair asked. Her eyes widened.

"Oh, no, of course not. Please, enjoy your meal." And with that she scurried off to set the plates of food on the table of an older couple who began to berate her.

As he approached the kitchen, it occurred to Alistair that he probably wouldn't be allowed in to give Feng the money, so he opted to give it to the girl on her way back, figuring that if he couldn't give it to Feng, she could use it. He caught her as she was returning to the kitchen and pressed the money on her until she accepted it. She rewarded him with a pretty but strained smile and thanked him, tucking the money into the front pocket of her uniform.

Alistair followed Kaiba's direction to meet them in back of the restaurant, but as he headed for the car, a commotion by the dumpsters caught his attention. A heavy bag of trash had just fallen out of an overstuffed container and spilled out onto the ground. A little calico cat, which had evidently knocked it over, leapt to the ground and began sniffing around for food. The sight reminded him of when he'd had to scrounge for things to eat and made his heart ache for the animal whose ribs were evident even from ten feet away.

"Alistair!" Kaiba called from the car, rolling the window down. "As fascinating as I'm sure shopping for your dream home is, do it on your own time." Seto had meant it as an insult, but Alistair was barely listening.

"Hang on." He slowly made his way towards the cat, which, upon closer inspection, seemed little more than a kitten, trying not to startle her. She watched him warily, her yellow eyes never leaving him, but didn't run away. He very gradually knelt down and reached out a hand for the cat to smell. She cautiously edged out from behind an empty carton and approached him, sniffing his hand and licking his palm that apparently had sauce on it. He scratched her behind the ears, enticing her to come closer, and as his fingers worked their way behind both ears, under her chin, and down her thin back, she started to purr. Sensing Kaiba's impatience, and afraid he'd yell again and scare her, Alistair threw caution to the winds and picked her up. She started to protest, but quieted as he held her against his chest with one arm, and continued to stroke her head with his free hand. Just that moment, Kaiba chose to speak again.

"This isn't a petting zoo! Put it down and get in the car!" Alistair ignored the part about putting the cat down, and walked to the car, still cradling her in his arms as she continued to purr.

"You are _not_ taking that with us. It's dirty and probably has lice or ticks or God only knows what else."

"I'll take care of her." Kaiba snorted.

"You can barely take care of yourself. Plus, I'd have to pay for food and veterinary bills. No thanks."

"I'd pay you back. Once I have a job, I'll pay back any money you have to spend on her."

"Oh come on Seto, she's cute and I always wanted a pet," Mokuba put in. Seto let out a longsuffering sigh.

"Fine. But if I have to hear the maid complaining about having to clean cat hair off the furniture, or if it scratches the couches or if you can't train it to use a litter box, it's out. Now _get in the car_." Pacified, Alistair slid in next to Mokuba, who immediately held out his hand which the cat sniffed, then licked. Mokuba giggled.

"That tickles! She's so cute. But she is kind of dirty though; she's getting dust all over your shirt."

"I don't mind. I'm just glad that I can help her. No one should have to eat garbage."

* * *

**Author's Note: **We're told by Alistair himself in the canon dub that his ultimate goal is to make the world a better place and that one of the things he despises about Seto is that he steps on the backs of others for his own personal gain. Compassion is therefore something that's very important to Alistair which is a trait I want to play up in this story.


	7. An Inconvenient Truth

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh! and I highly doubt I ever will.

* * *

_"There's an edge within my voice  
Helps me win when I should lose  
We pick and choose our weapons carefully  
Words are twisted like a fist  
Behind our backs no slight-of-hand  
No battle ever ended with a kiss"_

_~Ties that Bind, _Pat Benatar

**Chapter 7**

For the next few weeks, Sewell, as he'd decided to name the cat, took up all of Alistair's attention. Although a loner, he was also a caregiver, and took much delight in nursing her back to health. She had received a warm reception from Trudy after Alistair had given her a bath (something Sewell did not appreciate at all and rewarded Alistair with several nasty scratches), and he'd gone on his motorcycle to the local pet store to discuss what he might need for her and buy some supplies and food.

By the time she'd been at the Kaiba mansion for three weeks, Sewell's sides had started to fill out and her coat had become glossy and soft (thanks in part to Alistair brushing her once a day).

After taking her to a vet, he was told that she was likely around two years old, had already been spayed but needed shots, and that the several lumpy scars on her back were most likely the result of having been hit with something and not having the wounds properly cared for. The vet also told Alistair that she wouldn't grow any bigger as a consequence of having been malnourished as a kitten.

Knowing that Sewell had come from a rough background made him feel even more attached to the dainty calico. He rarely went anywhere without her, and often walked around the house with her in his arms or scampering after him, completely devoted to the man who had saved her.

At first, Mokuba had been really excited about having a pet in the house, but when Sewell proved too skittish to play with, he got bored of her. Alistair felt special to have earned her trust enough for her not to be wary of him.

For his part, Seto took every opportunity to ridicule Alistair for his unconditional devotion to the cat, although deep down he was jealous of the bond they shared.

At night Sewell slept either on Alistair's pillow above his head, or under the covers when she felt so inclined, although sometimes she slept on the bed while he stuck with his makeshift sleeping space underneath it. Her presence helped alleviate his nightmares he found. When he did have them (which he still did, and more often than most people), she could sense his anguish and would lick his face until he woke up and then sleep on his pillow, her purring lulling him back into a more pleasant sleep. He also continued to dream, perhaps several times a week, about Kaiba. He abhorred these dreams because he by no accounts wanted to view Kaiba that way, nor did he appreciate the dreams forcing him to acknowledge his inexplicable sexual attraction to him. He loathed the feeling that came over him whenever Kaiba was around. He knew that Kaiba was despicable, but his body chose not to acknowledge anything but his dark blue eyes, high cheekbones, muscles, and what he knew to be under the CEOs tight black pants. The whole situation was ridiculous and embarrassing, and he hoped that it would soon pass.

Kaiba Corp's stock did, as PR had predicted, start to rise again after Seto gave in and modeled for the clothing company. The ads ran in all the major fashion and dueling magazines, and were up on two billboards in downtown Domino.

Seto found the ads humiliating because for every single picture the photographer insisted that an indecent about of buttons on the dark blue shirt he was supposed to be showing off be undone, showing off the majority of his chest. That, and the cut and color of the pants left him feeling like he looked like one of the guys on the cover of trashy romance novellas.

They had requested the use of his office at KC headquarters as the backdrop to the shoot and in the end, the ad that ran was a picture of him lounging in his monogrammed leather desk chair in front of one of his shelves of trophies, smirking and holding up his three Blue Eyes White Dragon cards. The tagline was: Dress like a Champion.

Seto couldn't fathom why such a stupid photo of him modeling men's clothes would get a bunch of teenage girls to buy game systems. Girls seemed to find him 'hot', but if that was their justification for buying Kaiba Corp merchandise they were even more stupid than he'd thought. He shuddered to think of the ad being put on the walls of girls his brother's age when all he wanted to do was have it fall off the face of the earth.

Just over a month after Alistair had moved into the mansion, Seto was working on logistics in his home office one Saturday night when Mokuba knocked tentatively on the door before letting himself in.

"Hey Seto, I was going to go to the mall tomorrow."

"You can't. Roland's helping me at the office tomorrow, Saito is covering for Roland, it's Trudy's husband's day off, and I think you know better than to go with Alistair," he replied without looking up.

"I wasn't really asking," Mokuba said quietly. That got Seto's attention.

"Excuse me?" He looked over at his brother whose posture made it clear that he was uncomfortable, but his words were, for Mokuba, quite firm.

"I want to go to the mall tomorrow because a girl I like is working and I want to ask her out now that my leg is better, and I sort of thought that might go better if I go by myself. I was just letting you know where I'd be." Seto raised an eyebrow. It wasn't like Mokuba to go against what he said. And what was this about a girl? The concept of Mokuba having crushes on girls let alone wanting a girlfriend was completely new to him.

"Mokuba," he started, "it's not safe for you to go by yourself; you know that. Just wait until next weekend when Roland or Saito or I can go with you. I'd tell you to ask Jones to go with you, but he's too old to be able to protect you."

"I'm fourteen you know. I'm old enough to be able to protect myself. When you were my age you had already been president of KC for a year, you had almost reached a black belt in Tae Kwon Do, and you knew how to shoot a gun. How come you never let me learn that stuff? Are you keeping me dependent on you on purpose?" Seto couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"What are you talking about? You know that I don't want you to have to grow up like I did, that's why you won't, if I have my way, ever pick up a gun."

"Don't you think I should be able to decide for myself what I will and won't do?"

"Look, Mokuba, once you're older you'll—."

"That's what you always say. When will I be old enough to go to the mall by myself? I don't know what reality you're living in, but in mine fourteen year olds do it all the time; it's how you meet people and make friends. I don't mind having the tutors and stuff, but since I don't go to school I don't know any kids my age and you're always busy so it gets really lonely."

"Hmmm…I guess I could ask around and see if any of the department managers have kids your age…"

"No," Mokuba said with more force than Seto had ever heard him use before. "Don't you get it? What I'm saying is that you have no right to control everything I do!" His voice continued to rise with every word. "You're not my _dad_, ok? You're my _brother_. And if you try to stop me from going to the mall tomorrow I'll take a bus. I'm not going to let you boss me around like you do everyone else." With that, he ran out of the office, leaving an astonished Seto at his desk.

What the hell had gotten into Mokuba all of a sudden? And why did what he had said sound so damn familiar? He puzzled over it for the next few minutes when it finally hit him: he knew exactly where he'd heard that bit about not kowtowing to him before, and therefore knew that Mokuba had merely been parroting someone else.

Alistair had been lying on the couch re-reading _Black Beauty_ for about the fourth time with Sewell lying on his stomach when Kaiba whipped the door open so hard it hit the wall with a loud bang, scaring Sewell, who leapt off of the sofa and streaked under the bed. Before he even had a chance to ask Kaiba why he was barging into his room like that, Seto had stormed into the apartment, his blue eyes blazing angrily. Alistair quickly dropped the book, and prepared to defend himself; Kaiba looked like he was out for blood.

"I _warned_ you not to put Mokuba in danger again!" Seto snarled at him, his hands balled into fists, his face livid.

"What are you talking about?" Alistair asked, backing away so he wasn't trapped behind the coffee table.

"So you're telling me that you didn't tell Mokuba I was purposefully keeping him 'dependent' on me, and that he shouldn't let himself get bossed around?" Kaiba's disbelief was practically palpable. "Because that doesn't sound like Mokuba Alistair, it sounds like _you_. After everything I've done for you, how _dare_ you try to pit my brother against me?"

"I'm not," Alistair answered civilly. "All I did was open his eyes so that he could open yours. He's not a child anymore, and your 'protection' is only going to make him resent you. I did you a favor." Seto flared his nostrils.

"At least _my_ brother's still alive," Seto said through gritted teeth. It was a low blow, and although it hurt, Alistair had anticipated it. He laughed.

"Is that the best you can do? Seems like you're desperate. Admit it: you just hate the idea that someday Mokuba won't need you anymore and you'll be left all alone." Seto closed the gap between himself and Alistair and shoved the other man into the wall before grabbing him by the straps of his faded tank top so that they were standing nose to nose, intending to deliver a scathing retort before throwing the redhead unceremoniously out of the house to fend for himself. Why he had even brought him to the mansion in the first place was absolutely beyond him.

Alistair glared defiantly back into Kaiba's eyes, their proximity not lost on him, waiting for Kaiba to say something. He had the distinct impression that he was about to lose his current lodgings and while the comfort had been pleasant, perhaps it was just as well. It was really too bad about the pilot's license though; that would have been nice.

Though it had only lasted ten seconds, the silence seemed to stretch on for an eternity. _Get out_, that was what Seto wanted to say, and by all accounts should say, but he was fully aware that if those words were to come out of his mouth, Alistair would not only get out of his house, he'd get out of his life for good, and that was the wall he'd hit. He was suddenly very confused. Why wouldn't he want Alistair out of his life? The man had done nothing but cause him trouble and had even made an attempt on his life, and Mokuba's, yet he couldn't say the two simple words that would end the tedious affair despite how angry he was. He simultaneously wanted to strangle Alistair and…what?

Alistair was nothing if not patient, the long years he'd waited to face Kaiba were testament to that, but he also had an impulsive streak. If this really was going to be the end of his involvement with Kaiba, the end of his years of obsession, he wanted to leave a lasting impression.

Seto had never been more startled in his life. No one had ever dared to break the invisible barrier he set around his person before and certainly no one had ever had the audacity to actually try and kiss him, and it was the last thing he would have expected _Alistair_ of all people to do. Scratch that; it hadn't even made the list.

Afterwards, he couldn't sort out what made him do it, but by crossing the line that he had, Alistair seemed to have broken a dam, causing all of the anger and whatever else it was that Seto was feeling to be channeled into aggressively kissing him back.

It was just like their last physical interaction, but instead of asserting dominance with fists, the two set upon each other in a much different way.

Alistair, upon having Kaiba thrust his tongue in his mouth, found himself gripping the other man's shoulders and doing his best to reciprocate. Not wanting Kaiba to think he could just have his way with him, he pushed against him until he had backed Kaiba up against the opposite wall.

Seto, not one to be controlled by anybody, grabbed a handful of Alistair's red hair and forced his head back so he could kiss along his neck, leaving a row of bruises in his wake. Alistair's breath caught and he put his hands on either side of Kaiba's face so he could force his head back up in order to kiss his mouth again.

Continuing to fight for dominance of the situation, and neither wanting to yield, the two men pushed each other around the room.

He had no idea what was running through Kaiba's mind, but Alistair couldn't help but think that while taking care of Sewell had given him purpose, making out with Kaiba was making him feel truly alive. Alive like he hadn't felt in years. This was something primal, raw, something real.

At one point, he had Kaiba pushed up against his desk and without thinking, tried to unbutton his black shirt, soon giving up and merely ripping it open. Neither of them even noticed the sound of buttons hitting the floor because as soon as he realized what Alistair was doing, Seto reached out and ripped the weak fabric of Alistair's shirt up the front, all without letting his lips leave the other man's neck.

Alistair, though he enjoyed the sensation, and wouldn't have minded letting Kaiba carry on a bit, leaned in to kiss Kaiba's neck and upper chest. He heard Kaiba's breath catch as he nipped at the sensitive skin of his lower neck and felt Kaiba dig his nails into his shoulder blades.

His face still pressed against the nape of Kaiba's neck, Alistair reached down to unbuckle the CEO's belt. At that, Seto came to his senses and pushed Alistair away. They stared at each other, breathing hard as Seto self-consciously tried to pull his shirt together before exiting the room just as abruptly as he'd entered, leaving Alistair standing next to the desk, his ruined shirt hanging loosely off of his shoulders.

Back in his room, Seto paced back and forth in an attempt to work off adrenaline and wrap his mind around what had just transpired. That he had wanted to…that he'd…and with _Alistair_. Seto could honestly say that until now he'd never spent one second thinking about sex, or sexuality, and he'd never, to his knowledge, been attracted to anyone before in any capacity, but somehow, Alistair had gotten under his skin. Well, at least his shirt.

He decided a shower might help clear his head. On his way, he couldn't help but notice that his lips were slightly swollen due to the level passion with which he and Alistair had kissed each other. He quickly looked away, still trying vainly to figure out why in the world he'd allowed that to happen.

Alistair shrugged off what was left of his tank-top and admired the hickies Kaiba had given him in the bathroom mirror. After having dreamed about it for almost a month, and denying that he had wanted what had just happened to happen, he was happy to have the matter resolved. There was no denying that he'd relished the pressure of Kaiba's mouth on his, and that his body at least had been hoping for more, but he knew for certain now that those feelings were completely independent of his feelings towards the man himself and that both had their place. He was also very glad to know that, evidentially, the physical attraction was mutual.

Even though he was achingly curious to know what Kaiba had to say about what had happened the night before, Alistair abstained with some difficulty from going down to the dining room at seven.

He was waiting for Trudy to come up with breakfast, and reading, or attempting to read since the vocabulary was difficult, _A Tale of Two Cities_ with Sewell on his lap when Mokuba bounded into the room.

"Morning Alistair!" he said brightly, grinning from ear to ear and positively brimming with excitement.

"Morning." Alistair set the book on top of his dictionary.

"Guess what? I talked to Seto yesterday and told him I'm going to go to the mall by myself today. I did just what you said, and even though I was really nervous, I did it! Thank you so much." Another piece of the Kaiba randomly going on the warpath puzzle fell into place.

"That's really great, Mokuba."

"Right? I'm really excited. This will be the first time I'll have a chance to maybe ask Hilary out. I'm trying to figure out what I want to wear still. Oh, apropos: why are you wearing your jacket inside? Are you cold?" Suddenly self-conscious, Alistair adjusted the collar of his trench coat to make sure the hickies on his neck were covered.

"Good morning gents," Trudy said, interrupting the conversation by entering the room with breakfast. She set the two trays on the table, one for Mokuba, and one with food for herself and for Alistair. She sat down and the three of them began their meal with Alistair setting aside small bits of sausage for Sewell.

"I hate to be 'the one', but it's a little, not rude, but _improper_ to wear a coat at the table," Trudy said to Alistair as she daintily cut into her eggs.

"Oh…um…I just…It's a little cold." Alistair could feel himself starting to blush.

"Nonsense. A little fresh air never hurt anyone. And you know how I am about manners." Very reluctantly, Alistair slid his jacket off and set in on the back of the chair, the motion disturbing Sewell, who jumped off his lap with a meow of annoyance. Alistair tried resting his hand over his neck, but the damage had already been done.

"Woah," Mokuba exclaimed with a note of awe in his voice, "who gave you _those_? You didn't tell me you were seeing anyone." Alistair's blush deepened and he could feel his entire face burning.

"I'm not," he mumbled as Trudy reprimanded Mokuba for being nosy. "I mean…it was a onetime thing." He couldn't begin to imagine what Mokuba would say if he knew that the bruises were from his brother.

"Must have been good though, eh?" Mokuba pressed.

"Leave him alone Mokuba and focus on chewing; don't think I didn't see you swallow that toast in practically one bite."

"Ok." For the duration of breakfast, the matter was dropped, but as soon as Trudy had collected the dishes and left the room, Mokuba started up grilling Alistair again.

"I know Trudy thinks it's rude, but I'm just really curious. Seto's never done anything with a girl before, or if he has he certainly didn't tell me about it, so I'm dying to know: how is it?" Looking over at Mokuba's eager face, he wished he could give a better answer than: "I don't really want to talk about it," but he couldn't. Mokuba looked disappointed, but said that he understood.

"Can you at least help me out? Obviously you know how to get girls to like you, and I definitely want Hilary to say yes if I ask her out, so what's your secret? What do you say?" Alistair, whose experience was limited to making out once with Kaiba the night before, wasn't in any way justified to be Mokuba's sexual reference, but he knew the kid wouldn't let up unless he threw him a bone.

"I don't know anything about getting a girl to like you," he started honestly, "but if you're ever in a position where you're like, making out or whatever, try kissing her neck I guess."

"Yeah, I've always wondered about that; how does that work exactly? Is it just kissing? Like, how do you get marks like that?"

"I guess it's sort of more like a bite." Mokuba nodded, hanging on Alistair's every word.

"That's so cool. Maybe I'm counting my eggs before they hatch though, learning about making out when I don't even have a girlfriend."

"Yeah, you might want to focus on that first," Alistair agreed, grateful for a way to back out of the topic.

Seto Kaiba was not the kind of man to get distracted from his work. Dedicated would be an understatement, and he was always his harshest critic, straining himself to do even more so that his productivity was high every single day. This particular day however, for the first time possibly ever, Seto couldn't focus. He would look at a memo or start to tweak the duel disk design and then five minutes later realize that he hadn't been paying the slightest bit of attention. What had happened the night before between himself and Alistair was so far out of his frame of reference that he didn't know what to think about it. It was a tangled mess, and he found that he spent much more of his day trying to unravel that mystery than getting any actual work done.

He had absolutely no idea what had possessed Alistair to kiss him, especially under those circumstances. Never in his life had anyone dared to breach his personal space like that.

Seto had never liked being touched, not since the death of his parents, but especially not since becoming a Kaiba. Even Mokuba only received minimal physical affection from him. The only times Seto touched other people were in anger or defense because such physical interactions were moves of power, not weakness.

He acknowledged that to some degree his mentality that intimacy was unnecessary came from Gozaburo, but some of it, he felt, was a result of a lack of trust of other people. Someone in his position was always subject to being taken advantage of, and he knew that if he let his guard down he could get royally screwed over. It was for this reason that he distanced himself from people, even people who, like Yugi, didn't seem to be out to pull one over on him, because he could never be sure that one day it would turn out that Yugi was only using him, or trying to, just like everybody else.

So that explained why he didn't like getting close to anyone in any capacity, but not way he'd made an exception yesterday for Alistair. True, the move had taken him off guard, but he could have done any number of things to keep the situation from going any further, yet he hadn't. Why? He'd never felt a physical attraction to anyone before, and he wasn't sure what made Alistair so special, but in that moment he'd felt something. Desire. His body had reacted automatically to the feeling despite the fact that he was still angry, and the two emotions had mixed resulting in; for all intents and purposes, hate sex, although, thank God, it hadn't gone quite that far.

He'd gone his whole life without the wish to be close to someone, and that resolute remained intact; however he wasn't foolish enough not to realize that what had been done could not be undone. There existed within him a primal craving now, something he could feel in his gut. It had lain there, dormant, for years, but he could tell that while it was lying low for now, it was certainly capable of flaring up again.

Then of course, there was the mundane side of the whole thing. If anyone were to find out about what had happened, it could tarnish his reputation. There was the obvious matter of Alistair being a man which was bad enough (or good enough, if looking at the debacle from the perspective of the press), but to make the situation even more salacious, he was staying at the Kaiba mansion with Seto paying for his clothes, food, license, and cat, looking for all the world like a mistress. Scandalous indeed, and not something Seto wanted anyone else to know about.

Which brought him nicely to the heart of the matter: Alistair. Alistair had instigated the entire affair which led Seto to believe that either he'd planned it that way, or had at least been thinking about it. He couldn't begin to fathom Alistair's motivation, since it had been clear to him from day one that Alistair reviled him, and yet, he'd acted as though he wanted nothing more than to be sexually ravaged. The whole thing made no sense!

And what of himself? How did he feel about what he and Alistair had done? Oh, it had been sinfully good, there was no denying that, and a surprisingly large part of him wanted to have a repeat performance, but he still didn't like Alistair particularly, or trust him. So where did that leave things? His boundaries would have to be redrawn, that much was clear, and perhaps also the best place to start. First, he needed to draw a line. Never one for overindulgence, he drew it at sex. Whether with Alistair or anyone else, that was something he was putting off the table for a myriad of reasons. He believed that if he could refrain from that, he could stay in control of things, and he also felt (using his very limited knowledge of the subject) that sex was something much more intimate than kissing and could potentially result in some sort of emotional bond that he had no interest in sharing with anyone. Practically speaking though, he could tell that he'd have to add Alistair to his routine in order to keep from being distracted so easily at work from now on. Annoying, but seemingly necessary.

When Mokuba got home from the mall, Alistair was sitting in his usual spot under the willow with Sewell lurking nearby, attempting to catch a butterfly. Running full-tilt through the garden, Mokuba came to a skidding halt.

"She said yes!" he announced triumphantly, smiling broadly. Alistair carefully set _A Tale of Two Cities_ on the bench.

"Really?" he asked, slightly surprised. Mokuba nodded.

"Yeah. I just went up to the counter and after I'd ordered my food I told her that it must suck having to give other people food all day without getting to eat any yourself, and she nodded, and so—wait for it—then I said: so maybe you'd like to be the one to get served sometime. And she smiled and asked if I was asking her out and I just sort of grinned and nodded, and then she said she'd like that and then the guy behind me in line got annoyed that I was standing there talking to her, and so I told her I'd write my number down on a napkin and give it to her so that we can set something up, and yeah. That was basically it. Now I just have to wait for her to text me. Pretty cool, huh?"

"I…yeah, definitely." Mokuba pursed his lips.

"You could at least pretend to be excited for me."

"I am," Alistair insisted. "It's just that…and don't take this the wrong way, but are you sure it's not just because you're Mokuba Kaiba?"

"What do you mean?" Mokuba asked, stung, although deep down, he'd wondered the same thing. "Are you saying she's only interested because of my money? I'm not just some spoiled brat, you know. I'm smart, and I think I can be funny, and maybe I'm even good-looking, so she didn't just have to be interested because of my name! You sound just like Seto!" With that, Mokuba stormed off, leaving Alistair sitting on the bench, feeling guilty for having ruined Mokuba's moment of triumph. The kid had a point: what he'd said was exactly the kind of thing he could imagine Kaiba saying and that he'd in any way been channeling Kaiba left a bitter taste in his mouth and he resolved to apologize. But he instinctively knew to let Mokuba lick his wounds first.

Mokuba stomped all the way back to his room, anger still coursing through him. What did Alistair know? Hilary would never try to take advantage of him; she always laughed at his jokes and listened when he talked, and had seemed genuinely interested in going out with him. Alistair didn't know what he was talking about. He'd said himself he'd never had a girlfriend before, and hooking-up didn't count.

His cell phone beeped and he excitedly pulled it out of his pocket, his anger forgotten, but it turned out to just be a curt text from Seto chastising him for not telling him that he'd gotten home safely. Annoyed, he tossed his phone onto his bed. Couldn't anyone just be happy for him? Was no one going to acknowledge that he'd successfully asked out a girl on his first try and could potentially be on his way to having a girlfriend?

_ Maybe they're just jealous_, he reasoned. _That must be it. They're mad that I'm going to have a relationship before them even though they're older_. Pacified, he retrieved his phone, texted his brother an apology, adding that Hilary had said yes, and then settled in for a nice couple of hours of playing his sniper game before thinking about tackling the rest of his homework.

An hour or so later, Mokuba heard a knock on the door. He figured it must be Trudy with the snack he'd called down for.

"Come in!" he called.

"Hey." The voice belonged to Alistair, and the accompanying meow was presumably Sewell. Mokuba frowned. He wasn't interested in another lecture.

"Oh, hey."

"Look, I wanted to apologize for what I said to you earlier. I should have just congratulated you instead of acting like your brother. I do think it's cool that she said yes; I wouldn't even know where to begin if I had to ask a girl out on a date, and obviously neither does Kaiba, so who are we to question her motivation?" He paused to pick up Sewell, who was rubbing her nose against his pant leg. "Besides, you're absolutely right: you are smart, and kind, and really good at playing video games—why wouldn't she be interested?"

"I'm kind of good-looking too," Mokuba added with mock superciliousness, his spirits lifting considerably, pausing his video game and turning. Alistair smiled.

"See? What do I know? I've never even talked to a girl before let alone—." He suddenly realized that he needed to backpedal. "I mean, not one that I wanted to date." The implication of Alistair's statement wasn't lost on Mokuba. Alistair had hickies on his neck that he wasn't willing to talk about, and now he had just admitted that he'd never really talked to girls before. Putting two and two together wasn't hard.

"This is kind of a personal question, but do you not like girls Alistair?" Mokuba asked carefully. Alistair blanched and then reddened. This conversation was entering dangerous territory, but he knew that he couldn't deny everything and have Mokuba believe him.

"I uh…I…no, I guess I don't. Not really," he answered very uncomfortably, his cheeks practically the same color as his hair.

"Oh." Mokuba didn't know what to say to that. He'd never met anyone who was gay before and had no real opinion on the subject, but the notion that Alistair would want to do with men what he wanted to do, maybe with Hilary, took him aback. For about thirty seconds, the only sound other than the background music of Mokuba's game was Sewell's purring.

"I should probably feed her," Alistair said finally. "I'll see ya." He left before he could be asked anything else, deeply embarrassed to have admitted something like that. He wouldn't have found the question so uncomfortable if he wasn't basing his answer off of how it felt to make-out with Kaiba, but as it was, he found it highly awkward that the only person he'd ever found himself attracted to, was the same person who he'd once considered a mortal enemy.

Normally Seto wouldn't leave work until almost midnight, and sometimes even later, but by nine he'd realized there was no point in staying any longer, so he decided to clock out early. Valarie, who was also packing to leave, looked up in surprise when Seto emerged from his office. Without offering any type of explanation, Seto swept past her and out the door. His presence caused several startled employees on the ground floor who were meandering towards the door to snap to attention, but Seto paid them little heed. His car was waiting for him in the company parking garage, a moonbeam illuminating the glossy leather finish of the seats.

On the drive home, which took a lot longer than usual given the earliness of the hour, Seto thought about what he wanted to do, though the more he thought about it, the more he realized that he knew what he wanted to do, just not how to go about it without seeming overly keen.

He arrived at the mansion at a little before ten at night. Kanzo, who was on duty, expressed surprise at seeing his boss home so early. Seto parked the car, his headlights revealing Alistair's motorcycle parked in a corner of the garage. Upon entering the house, he first went to Mokuba's room, knowing that his brother would undoubtedly still be awake.

"Seto?" Mokuba said questioningly, shocked to see his brother standing in his doorway. "You're home early." The event was practically unprecedented.

"You should have texted me once you got back today," he said. "You told me that you would."

"I know, I'm sorry. I forgot. But Hilary said yes!"

"I know. You messaged me a whole paragraph about it."

"Isn't that cool though?" Mokuba looked hopefully up at his older brother. "She's really pretty. I'm thinking about maybe taking her to the movies or something. It's been ages since I've been, and I know that that's what a lot of people do on their first date." Seto pitied his brother his naivety sometimes. He could tell that Mokuba was excited, but he was wary of this girl's intentions, and didn't want Mokuba to be hurt.

"Mokuba," he started, a note of caution in his voice. Mokuba's face became drawn, the excitement fading fast.

"I know, I know. You're going to say that she's just using me, and maybe she is, but so what? I'm not stupid; I'll figure it out. And hey, maybe she isn't. Maybe she actually likes me, is that really so unreasonable?" Seto could see that his brother desperately wanted his approval. Against his better judgment, he relented.

"No. Just be careful. And go to bed Mokuba, it's late."

"It's only ten O'clock!" Mokuba protested incredulously to his brother's retreating back. "I haven't gone to bed this early since I was _eleven_."

Not wanting there to be any chance that Mokuba might bear witness to anything that could possibly transpire should he find himself in Alistair's room, Seto decided to swim his laps sooner as opposed to later and headed towards the pool.

Swimming was one of the only ways for Seto to completely turn off his inner monologue because it required all of his concentration. As his arms cut smoothly through the water, everything else faded from his mind. Until he finished his workout that is.

It was going on midnight when Alistair heard the door creaking open. He didn't have to look up from his perch on the bed where he'd been lying and reading for the past several hours to know who it was or what they wanted. He'd resorted to using the desk lamp to read by, too lazy to get out of bed to turn the overhead light on. Nonetheless, he could make out Kaiba's shadowy silhouette filling the doorframe. Neither said a word. Alistair, without taking his eyes off Kaiba, marked his page with one of his Duel Monsters cards, placed _A Tale of Two Cities_ on the desk, and stood up.

Seto crossed the room, stopping a little under a foot from Alistair. Their eyes bored into each other, azure meeting silver. Their silent face off continued for a whole minute, neither wanting to be the first to make a move. Growing impatient, Seto brought their stalemate to an end by grabbing Alistair by the front of his black muscle shirt and yanking him forwards.

As soon as their lips touched, their perceptions of each other changed. They both knew that this was something completely separate from their typical relationship to each other, that while the encounter was full of passion, they were not friends, certainly not lovers, and were something more akin to antagonists. This was an outlet for their preconceived sexuality, nothing more.

This exchange, unlike the first, was not borne of anger, and so proceeded quite differently. There was no battle this time, though it was no less rough.

Alistair pulled his tank top over his head. Before it even hit the floor, Seto shoved him backwards, causing him to fall onto the bed. Mindful of his boundaries, Seto left his shirt on, not comfortable with the idea of skin to skin contact. That being said, he couldn't help but relish the feeling of Alistair's lean form under his own as they continued to kiss each other. With an unexpected display of strength, Alistair flipped the duo so that he was looking down at Kaiba who set his jaw, and executed a maneuver that put him back on top before suddenly deciding it was time to leave. He got up, turned his back on Alistair, and left, leaving the former sprawling on the disheveled sheets, annoyed, but not surprised, that they hadn't done more.

And so a routine was grounded. Seto began coming home a half an hour earlier, going first to Alistair's room (which he was coming to associate with his step-father less and less), then swimming off the adrenaline, then going to bed. The activity did nothing to change their relationship outside of the bedroom, and when they did see each other, which wasn't often, the undercurrent of hostility remained.

* * *

**Author's Note: **How'd I do? *holds breath* That first encounter is always so important; I've read more than enough fanficiton to know that. What I was trying to convey in this chapter is that wanting to jump each other's bones isn't the issue to be resolved between these two. Anyone who watched the anime knows that there was more than enough sexual tension built up between Seto and Alistair to need much prompting on my part, what lacks in this relationship are respect, trust, and I don't know, love maybe.


	8. Guilty of not feeling guilty

**Disclaimer: **I am only borrowing these guys for my own amusement; I don't own them. #Truth #Facts

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"The problem with surviving was that you ended up with the ghosts of everyone you'd ever left behind riding on your shoulders."

~Paolo Bacigalupi

**Chapter 8**

At the beginning of September, Alistair received word from Kaiba that the following afternoon Alfred would pick him up and take him to the aviation academy where he would fly for the instructor who would determine his competence. He hadn't piloted in several months, so the prospect of being judged on his abilities made him nervous; he had a lot riding on doing well. He spent the entire day fretting about the test. He reviewed the different commands, scenarios, and controls and their names in his head over and over again. He checked the weather report and saw that an overcast day was predicted which would be a definite plus. He always flew better under bad weather conditions because they forced him to focus unlike conditions in which visibility was good because then he occasionally found himself daydreaming, especially during long flights.

His anxiety for the test caused him so much stress that while he was waiting for Kaiba to get home, he fell asleep, his fears carrying over into his subconscious.

_"Come on Mikey! It'll be fun! Don't you like flying?" he asked his brother, who was nervously clutching his Dino Dude action figure._

_ "I don't want to get on the plane; what if it crashes?"_

_ "It won't. I'm the pilot, remember? Don't you trust me?" Mikey shook his head._

_ "You told me the tank was safe and it wasn't. You're just a liar!"_

_ "I'm not lying!" Alistair protested. "I thought the tank was safe! How could I have known that it would get bombed?"_

_ "Admit it: you just didn't want me around anymore; you knew that without me holding you back, you could escape."_

_ "That's not true! I was trying to save you!" Mikey turned away._

_ "I don't believe you. If you really cared about me, you wouldn't have gotten me killed. I hate you!" He took off running away from the plane. Somehow, Alistair knew that there was a landmine directly in Mikey's path._

_ "Mikey! No! Mikey!" Just as Mikey planted his foot on the mine, everything started to fade to black._

"Mikey!"

"Alistair, snap out of it!" Alistair opened his eyes only to see Kaiba standing over him, obviously having just woken him up. Tears leaking out of the corners of his eyes, and shaking all over, Alistair did what anyone who's been traumatized does: sought out comfort. He sat up and wrapped his arms around Kaiba's waist, leaning into his lower chest, his hands clutching the back of the other man's black turtleneck.

"It was my fault, I should have known it was dangerous! I should have gone with him! I could have…I should have…and now he's dead!"

Seto knew that Alistair wanted someone to console him, but he was still reeling from the fact that Alistair had hugged him. He and Alistair had been rendezvousing every night for almost three weeks, but this was something new again. There had been an unspoken understanding that while sexually they might be attracted to each other, they didn't like or trust each other. Looking to him for comfort led Seto to believe that perhaps Alistair didn't hate him as much as he'd thought and he wasn't sure how to feel about that. Uncomfortable, he decided to take the middle ground.

"Pull yourself together Alistair, it was just a nightmare," he said gruffly, disentangling himself from the redhead. His tone seemed to snap Alistair back to reality. He took several deep breaths to calm himself down and wiped the tears off his face. Realizing that he'd just hugged Kaiba in a moment of weakness while crying would have been embarrassing under any other circumstance, but he was too exhausted to care, and besides, he was grateful for the intervention.

"Thank you." The thanks plus the sad gray eyes looking up at him so pathetically caused an ache in Seto's chest that he hadn't felt for a very long time. He had to leave. Without answering, he all but fled from the room, unnerved by his own reaction to such a simple utterance.

Alistair was too absorbed in his own emotions to care about Kaiba being rude. Even though he was wide awake, thinking about his dream caused a shudder to run through him. Normally he just relived his worst memories in his nightmares, but this had been different. This dream was just a dream in that there had never been a plane, or a landmine, yet it had almost been worse because even though his nightmares were distressing, they'd never left him feeling guilty. In this dream, he'd been directly accused of purposefully being careless. He had never thought of Mikey as a burden, or resented him. He'd felt very lucky to have his brother at his side to laugh and cry with and had been devastated by his death. So devastated that he'd let his guard down and almost wasted his life.

He knew now that Mikey's death had in no way been his fault, yet he couldn't help but run over the scene time and time again, looking for things he could have done differently that would have saved him and finding them, beating himself up serving to feed his masochistic gluttony for punishment. The worse he felt, the closer he came to paying his dues for surviving.

Seto sat heavily on his bed, cursing having looked into Alistair's eyes. It was a look he recognized because he saw it in the faces of new orphans when he visited them. The despair, sorrow, vulnerability, and desperation in such an expression didn't usually move him. As an orphan himself he retrospectively knew that as time went on and memories of parents faded, the pain would subside, and as long as one didn't go searching for it, what little remained would stay locked away. Alistair however, while also an orphan, hadn't touched him for that reason, but because he had never had the opportunity those children who lose their families early on had to heal. His survivor's guilt still seemed fresh.

Seto knew how it felt to let your sibling, who you had sworn to protect, down; he'd done it on multiple occasions, most recently it seemed by keeping Mokuba trapped at his side. He knew what it was like to miss out on a real childhood because you were forced to grow up before your time, to put up a shield against the world because you have to or risk going insane, haunted by a past you cannot change.

The realization that the pain in his chest was not caused by pity, but compassion, left him completely spooked. Now not only could he objectively see what he and Alistair had in common, he could _feel_ it. His newfound empathy coupled with the recent nights the two had shared made him very nervous and he resolved to keep his distance.

Despite having a restless night, Alistair was able to put his internal turmoil on hold long enough to focus on the task at hand, namely impressing the flight instructor, Henry. He needn't have worried as it turned out. He'd never flown better, and Henry took note, saying how impressed he was, not only by Alistair's abilities as a pilot, but also by his knowledge of plane mechanics. He'd asked Alistair where he'd learned to fly which was the only awkward moment during the entire test. Alistair had evaded the question by simply answering that he'd had private lessons, and Henry hadn't pried.

At the end of the test, after they'd landed, Henry told him that he respected his skill and would gladly sign off on a license at the November graduation. They'd shaken hands, and then Albert had come to pick Alistair up.

Glowing with pride for the first time in his life, Alistair all but forgot his dream, writing it off as having been caused by stress from worrying about the test. Deep down though, though he knew it was irrational, he couldn't help but think that the guilt he'd felt wasn't in fact caused by feeling responsible for Mikey's death, but for not feeling guilty.

The truth was, ever since coming to live with Kaiba and Mokuba, he'd come to think about his family a lot less during the day which he'd never thought he could. He was beginning to resent his nightmares, hating being dragged backwards instead of being allowed to get on with his life. These new feelings of self-worth were causing a metamorphosis in his psyche—taking him to the next toxic level on his journey to healing.

Upon arriving at the mansion, Mokuba all but jumped him at the door.

"How did it go? Did you pass?" Alistair found himself smiling broadly.

"With flying colors. He said that I'm better than most of his own students."

"That is so awesome!" Mokuba exclaimed, holding up a hand for a high five. Alistair uncertainly slapped his palm against that of the younger teen's. "We were pretty sure you'd be fine, so Trudy made a cake, come on!" Startled, Alistair followed Mokuba, not to the dining hall, but down some stairs to Trudy's apartment. "Hey Trudy, he passed!"She looked up from setting plates on a simple small oak table.

"Oh! I'm not quite ready!" she said, looking at Mokuba reproachfully and tucking several strands of gray hair behind her ears. The raven-haired teen widened his eyes innocently. "I suppose it doesn't really matter," she relented. "Please, take a seat." Mokuba eagerly plopped down on one of the spindly chairs encircling the modest table, and Alistair followed suit. Trudy produced a two layered chocolate cake with a plane drawn on top in white icing from the top of the stove.

"Congratulations Alistair!" she said warmly, presenting him with the desert. "I'm very proud of you!"

"Oh, I…" Alistair didn't know how to respond. He hadn't had a cake made just for him since he was a child, and even then only once just before the stores started rationing things like sugar. "Thank you, that was really thoughtful. I hope it wasn't too much trouble."

"Not at all. Baking is quite fun, especially with the radio on. Drawing the plane wasn't easy though. I hope you like chocolate."

Between the three of them they were able to eat half as Alistair gave them a run-down of how the test had gone, mindful that they might not know some of the terminology. After they were finished eating, Trudy told Alistair she'd put the other half in the upstairs refrigerator so that he could eat the rest at his leisure. He thanked her profusely, and insisted on helping with the dishes while Mokuba recapitulated, for the third or fourth time, how his second date with Hilary the previous Friday had gone, emphasizing that she'd told him how much fun she'd had and that she'd love to see him again. Trudy and Alistair listened patiently, exclaiming at all the right points as Mokuba continued to gloat.

"What does Seto think about you seeing girls?" Trudy asked while Mokuba paused for breath.

"He hasn't really said anything about it. I know he doesn't approve, but I don't really care; he's just jealous because I have something he doesn't." Alistair smiled to himself. He found it funny that Mokuba truly believed he was in no way spoiled or bratty when he most definitely was.

"Now Mokuba, there's no need to be mean," Trudy reprimanded him. "Although," she added, "I can't help but hope that seeing you going on dates with girls will help Seto see what he's missing out on. I'd love to see him open up to someone; Lord knows how lonely he must get. He's practically married to Kaiba Corp, but that's hardly the same. And what about you Alistair? You're no better, keeping yourself cooped up in this place all day; you'd do well to go out and meet people too."

"I mean, I'm not really lonely or anything."

"Still, cutting yourself off from society won't do you any good. It's easy to say that you'd rather be alone when you're young, but once you're thirty or so you'll look around and see everyone else with their families and realize what you could have had. The bottom line is: it wouldn't kill you to find a nice girl and go on a date." Alistair shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

"But Alistair already has a nice girl Trudy," Mokuba interjected. "He's got Sewell, doesn't he?" Gratefully, Alistair nodded.

"Yeah. Sewell and I have something pretty serious going. I wouldn't want to make her jealous." Trudy sighed but could see that the conversation was closed.

Seto walked out of the boardroom in much higher spirits than he'd been in since before Dartz's takeover. Stock prices were continuing to rise, albeit very slowly, and he'd just convinced the major shareholders that the best way to promote the latest Kaiba Corp software would be to host another major tournament. As the icing on the cake, he'd finalized the newest duel arena incarnation, having worked out the last bug in the holographic emanator, and was ready to send an order to Sapphire. He was halfway to his office when his cell phone started to vibrate.

"Hello?" he asked, holding it up to his ear.

"Hey bro!"

"Mokuba?"

"Are you coming home for dinner?" The question was so odd that Seto immediately knew that something was up.

"I haven't come home for dinner in almost three years, you know that. So what is it you really want to know?"

"Well…I just texted Hilary to invite her to dinner and I-."

"You _what_? You invited her to the house? Mokuba! That's a potential security breach, you can't just-!"

"I know, I know, calm down. I already talked to Saito about it and he did a background check and it came up clean, of course, and I'm going to meet her at the entryway and have Saito take her car around back. She's just going to stay for dinner and then she's going to go home."

"If you've got it all sorted out and you're not bothering to ask me if it's ok, why are you calling?"

"I want you to come if you have time. I really want you to meet her. Please Seto?" More so because he wanted to gauge the girl's intentions for himself than because he wanted to fold to Mokuba's pleading, he agreed. "Thank you! You'll like her! I mean, it would be hard not to, she's pretty, and smart, and funny, and-."

"There is a condition, and I need you to listen very carefully." He paused in the hallway that led to his office. "You have to tell Alistair that he can't be there."

"Huh, why?"

"Use your brain Mokuba. How would that look?" Mokuba shrugged, then remembered his brother couldn't see him.

"I don't know."

"How many friends do I have?" Mokuba was completely thrown by the question.

"Um…I dunno…do you count Yugi?"

"The answer, Mokuba, is _none_, and that isn't something I go to great lengths to keep a secret. Do you see the problem now?"

"No." Seto sighed. "I'm _sorry_, I guess I'm just stupid."

"How would I explain him living at our house? He's not my friend, or yours, he's a charity case that I agreed to in a moment of weakness and have come to regret. How do I explain that to your little girlfriend?" Mokuba tried in vain to make the mental leap his brother seemed to have made.

"I guess I'm just not sure why you'd have to."

"Look: the bottom line is that we're not running a boarding house, therefore he's our guest, and since I don't have friends, and he's too old to be yours, and since he insists on trying to ruin me I have every reason to think that she'd leave feeling like he and I were in some manner of speaking…_involved_." That was not at all where Mokuba had thought Seto would go and he had to shake his head at his brother's over analysis.

"I highly doubt Hilary would think that. Even if Alistair has hickies on his neck again I don't think she'd make the assumption that they were from _you_." He giggled at the very thought, but Seto paled, then felt his face grow hot and knew that he must be blushing; an unprecedented occurrence. Had Alistair really been stupid enough to flash the evidence of their many trysts? And to Mokuba no less. "Seto?" He realized Mokuba was waiting for him to reply.

"Just do as I say!" Seto snapped. "I don't have to explain myself to you." He ended the call, afraid if he said much more Mokuba would start connecting dots he under no circumstances wanted connected. In retrospect it was incredibly foolish of him to have marked Alistair that way knowing full well that the man was anything but subtle and had no real reason not to mention who they were from. Certainly if he ever dared go to Alistair again he'd abstain from leaving bruises on his neck.

And never minding Alistair for a moment, what was this about Mokuba inviting a girl to the house? On the surface Seto could blame his feelings of resentment on Mokuba's irresponsibility, but the deeper cause was most certainly a twinge of jealousy, both of the girl for capturing his brother's attention when he did far more to provide for him, and of the pure fact that Mokuba had the capacity to form a relationship when he was far too damaged, shielded, proud, and set in his ways to do so. He very selfishly hoped that things between Mokuba and this 'Hilary' girl wouldn't work out.

* * *

**Author's Note: **Just in case this was in any way unclear: I know next to nothing about planes or getting a pilot's license, all I do know I learned from some badly worded google searches so as the story goes on keep in mind that that's why any and all plane references are so vague.


	9. Corporate & Cold

**Disclaimer: **I. Do not. Own. Yu-Gi-Oh!. Simple as that.

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_"When pushin' comes to shove_  
_Money conquers faith and love_  
_You can buy 'em up for nothing down._"

~_Money_, I fight Dragons

**Chapter 9**

Later Seto wouldn't believe him, but Mokuba honestly forgot to tell Alistair anything about Hilary coming to dinner simply because he didn't see him all afternoon. Alistair had taken off on his motorcycle after his celebratory lunch to go back up to the top of the nearby mountain to read and didn't come back until dinnertime.

Mokuba spent all afternoon fretting about what to wear and what to have Trudy make, finally deciding on curry since Hilary had mentioned that it was her favorite. By the time six-thirty rolled around he'd changed his clothes four times, settling on a black T-shirt with the Time Wizard on the front, paired with a pair of red skinny jeans. At the last minute he also decided to pull his hair back in a ponytail. Clothing settled, he'd trotted outside to wait for her by the main gate, nonchalantly leaning against one of the white stone pillars while Saito watched on from afar. He managed to maintain his stance until he heard the sound of a car pulling off the main road, which turned out to be Seto.

After he'd driven past Mokuba and parked the car, Seto told him that he'd meet him inside and then swept into the house. Mokuba silently prayed that his brother wouldn't do anything to make Hilary uncomfortable. Seto had the tendency to come off as being slightly abrasive and more than a little intimidating. Still, his brother was his best friend, and he wanted her to meet him.

The next set of tires to crunch up the gravel path belonged to Hilary's modest white car. Through the windshield he could see that she looked nervous; she had just gotten her license and was still jumpy while driving. He faced the metal plate inserted into the wall and allowed it to scan his irises in order to let her in. The gateway opened smoothly and without taking her eyes off the path, Hilary pulled in before stopping and rolling down her window as the gates closed behind her.

"Where should I park?" she asked, looking around the grounds uncertainly.

"Don't worry about it, Saito will take care of it if you give him the keys." Mokuba gestured towards the man who was standing beside the now closed entranceway.

"Oh, ok…" She turned the car off and got out. "Thank you," she said to Saito, handing him the keys before turning to Mokuba. "I like your shirt," she commented, giving him a hug, and he practically beamed as he hugged her back.

"Thanks. You look really nice too." Away from work, Hilary's style was what he would consider sophisticated. On this occasion she wore a black and white striped scoop neck top with a pair of dark pants and a thin black belt and had her long blonde hair tied up in a loose bun. How gorgeous Hilary was continued to leave Mokuba in awe, and he wanted nothing more than to plant a kiss on her there and then, but knew he had to stay cool.

"What's for dinner?" she asked as they walked towards the mansion, trying her best not to stare. She'd never been to such a fancy place before and was starting to wonder if she was dressed appropriately, though Mokuba only had a T-shirt on.

"Curry, you said it's your favorite, right?" She nodded, pleased that he'd remembered. All of her friends had laughed when she said she had gone on a date with a fourteen year old, but had quickly changed their tune when she told them just which fourteen year old she was seeing. They had told her how lucky she was, and how jealous they were already of all the expensive things he was sure to buy her, and they insisted that she repeat every detail of her date tonight, especially if she got to meet Seto, whom the majority of her friends found unfathomably dreamy. Hilary too, had always found the older Kaiba very handsome, and would be lying if she didn't have a copy of his most recent ad in her locker, but she really did like Mokuba, and not because he was rich, though that was certainly nice, but because she found him very mature despite being younger than her, brilliant, witty, and very gentlemanly, and cute—which her friends had not let up on her about ever since she'd admitted it.

"Is it just going to be the two of us?" she asked tentatively as she slipped her shoes off in the foyer. She wasn't completely certain, but she was pretty sure the Kaiba brothers were orphans, and she didn't know a better way to find out for certain than to ask about who would be at dinner.

"Oh, no. I hope you don't mind, but Seto was going to join us because I really want him to meet you. Is that ok?" Suddenly Mokuba remembered that he hadn't told Alistair about Hilary coming over, or that he wanted it to be a date and to have Trudy bring him dinner in his room and he said a silent prayer that the redhead would stay in the mountains until after Hilary left.

"No, no, that's totally fine; I was just curious."

Seto was sitting at the dining table on his cell phone, instructing Roland on how to properly file the fax that had just come in when the two younger teens arrived. He looked up and gave the girl, Hilary, a brief once over, never pausing in his conversation. They stood awkwardly in the doorway until Seto finally got off the phone. He'd learned all he needed to know about Hilary from his quick visual assessment, and determined that she was just some silly teenage girl who probably read fashion magazines and had sleepovers with her girlfriends. Still, etiquette dictated that he be polite even though she was hardly worth his time.

"Go ahead and sit down, dinner will be ready shortly," he said in clipped tones, looking back down at his cell phone to read the text he'd just received from Roland containing a copy of the fax. Mokuba pulled a chair out for Hilary who thanked him, and then the three of them sat in awkward silence until Trudy arrived with four steaming plates of curry.

"You must be Hilary!" she said, setting the plates on the table and proceeding to divvy them out. "That's a lovely shirt you've got on."

"Oh, thank you," Hilary answered, grateful for the silence to have been broken. "I just bought it."

"Well it's very pretty. And so are you if you don't mind me saying so; whatever are you doing with this scrawny thing?"

"Hey!" Mokuba exclaimed, though he knew the comment was meant affectionately.

"Where's Alistair?" Trudy asked, noticing all of a sudden that he wasn't there. Seto looked up sharply, mentally kicking himself for not telling her that Alistair wouldn't be joining them.

"He's not coming," Seto said curtly, hoping that would be the end of it.

"Why ever not? He's had such a long day what with taking that test and all; he passed you know, with flying colors I shouldn't wonder. Is he taking a nap?"

"He drove up the mountain," Mokuba explained helpfully. "He wanted to get out of the house I think."

"I don't blame him. The poor thing hardly ever gets out except to read in the garden. I do hope that he'll take a leaf out of your book Mokuba and make a few friends instead of just doting on that little cat of his, cute as she is."

"Thank you Trudy, that will be all." Seto's tone left no room for negotiation and she realized that she had overstepped her bounds in some way.

"I'm so sorry. Look at me, prattling away. I'll just go get some drinks, shall I?" With that she bustled off, carrying the empty tray under her arm. Seto would have been perfectly fine with simply eating in silence, but Mokuba was determined to make the evening slightly more social.

"I never properly introduced you guys: Seto, this is Hilary, Hilary, Seto."

"It's really nice to meet you," Hilary said warmly, smiling. Seto looked up from his plate and stared into her face.

"Mokuba told me that you work at a fast food stand at the mall."

"Yes, I do. On the weekends. It's just part time." She found that she couldn't look directly into his icy eyes and lowered her gaze. She had no idea what prompted him to ask about her job, but decided to roll with it, anything to keep the silence at bay.

"She's really good at it too," Mokuba added. "I've never seen her get an order wrong, and she always smiles even when people are rude." He looked fondly at her.

"Is that so? Do you enjoy it?"

"Um, it's ok," she said around a bite of curry. "It's kind of boring, and my feet hurt at the end of the day, but I'm always really happy when I get a paycheck." His business-related questions exhausted, Seto returned to his phone. Hilary decided to be bold.

"Do you like _your_ job?" she asked with much more confidence than she actually felt. That caught Seto's attention. He appraised her a second time. Maybe she wasn't as vapid as he'd thought. Either that or she was just stupid.

"I'm in charge of a billion dollar gaming corporation and am the only thing standing between it succeeding and failing since all of the people who work for me are vastly incompetent, so what do you think?"

"To be honest, it sounds like it sucks." The voice wasn't Hilary's. Alistair had just gotten home and though no one had told him that Mokuba was bringing her to dinner, he knew who the blonde girl was and wasn't able to stand idly by while Kaiba purposefully made her uneasy.

Seto whipped around at the sound of Alistair's voice and shot him a very pointed, furious glare. How dare he show up uninvited wearing nothing but a tank top and blue jeans, looking for all the world like a permanent fixture in the house and making no effort whatsoever to hide the fading bruises on his neck.

Mokuba shrank down in his chair, knowing that it was his fault since he hadn't remembered to tell Alistair not to come to dinner. Hilary had no idea what was going on, or who the redheaded young man was, but she was grateful for his intervention, and for taking Seto's attention off of her.

"What's for dinner?" Alistair asked, taking the seat closer to Kaiba since his usual spot was taken. He had known the second he'd walked into the room that Kaiba wouldn't want him there and had therefore decided that the dining room was precisely the place for him. "Hi, I'm Alistair by the way, and you must be Hilary; Mokuba's talked a lot about you."

"It's nice to meet you," Hilary answered politely, still uncertain of his place in the house since he obviously wasn't related to the Kaiba brothers. She would have assumed that he worked for them in some capacity if he hadn't sat down with them like he lived there. She also couldn't help but notice the hickies on his neck and tried not to stare.

"Trudy should be back with drinks in a minute so you can have her bring you a plate of curry then."

"Sounds good. Oh, and Kaiba, guess what? I passed the test; he said he was very impressed with my skills as a pilot so I guess I won't be such a terrible asset once you hire me. Kaiba very generously offered me a job as one of the Kaiba Corp pilots if I could earn my license," he explained to Hilary, Kaiba's obvious discomfort putting him in a very chatty mood. "He doesn't like people to know it, but he's really quite a generous guy; he's even letting me live here until I have my own income." He added the last bit so that as long as Hilary was in the picture Kaiba couldn't kick him out without his absence being noticed.

"Wow, that is really nice."

"How about something to drink?" Trudy had just returned to the dining room with a large pitcher of water and three glasses. "Oh, hello Alistair, I didn't know you'd be back in time for dinner, I'll be right back with a plate. And next time do remember to wear a shirt with sleeves; it's much more polite."

The second half of dinner, though far from relaxed, was better than the first. Alistair turned the charm up and was very engaged in getting to know Hilary. The friendlier he got, the more sullen Seto became because he knew the other man was trying to make him look bad, and was greatly successful in the endeavor. Seto simply didn't do small talk except at business meetings when he had to, but in this situation he couldn't muster it. Over the course of the meal he gave curt answers to the questions and comments Mokuba directed at him and spent the rest of the time shooting glares at Alistair or checking his cell phone.

After a dessert of chocolate mousse, Hilary announced that she ought to start heading home. She thanked both Kaiba's and Alistair for their hospitality and Mokuba offered to walk her to her car.

'That was really nice," she said to Mokuba as they put their shoes back on. "The food was delicious."

"Yeah, Trudy's a really good cook; I'm lucky that I'm still so skinny." She giggled. "Sorry about the whole weird Seto/Alistair vibe. They don't like each other all that much."

"I was going to ask you about that. Who is he? I hope that's not rude to ask."

"He's…" Mokuba wasn't sure how best to describe Alistair. "He's a refugee that we're sort of helping out while he tries to get his feet under him." It was a heavily abridged version, but a lot more concise than explaining how he'd tried to get them killed because he thought that their step-father was indirectly responsible for his brother's death but had actually been lied to by a ten thousand year old ghost and tricked into hating Seto who had absolutely nothing to do with Alistair losing his family and that afterwards, after Alistair had lost his soul to the Seal of Orichalcos, Seto had felt sorry for him and when everyone had gotten their souls back, had promised him room and board and a job.

"Oh wow. That's really crazy. Poor Alistair. It's awfully nice of you guys to put him up." It made her feel a lot better about Seto Kaiba's character, despite how ill at ease he'd made her feel.

"Yeah. Seto's the best," Mokuba said proudly. He knew that Seto didn't come across to other people well, but he had a lot of respect and unconditional love for his brother who'd always been there for him when no one else was. Hearing the change in Mokuba's tone, Hilary couldn't help but smile. On the occasions that she and Mokuba had hung out, he never failed to mention his brother. She wondered if her little sister Lisa looked up to her as much. She hoped so.

"You really admire him, don't you?" she noted.

"Yeah, I suppose I do. Most people think he's really mean and cold, but I know better. He's a good person, he just doesn't always know how to show it."

"I think you're a really good person too."

"Yeah?" Mokuba tried to sound modestly surprised.

"Yeah. Some of my friends think I'm crazy for going out with someone younger than me, but I really like you and unless I'm completely delusional, I think you like me too, so I was wondering if maybe, you'd want to make this an official thing." She looked hopefully up at Mokuba from under her eyelashes.

"Yeah, I'd really like that," he replied, barely able to contain his excitement and leaned in to give her a kiss, the first kiss he'd ever given anybody. He could still taste chocolate on her mouth plus whatever lip-gloss she had on. It was wonderful. After they broke apart, they both grinned at each other giddily for a moment before Mokuba took her around to the garage to get her car. After she'd paused in the driveway and rolled the window down to say goodbye, he bent down to kiss her again before waving goodbye as she drove away, promising to text him as soon as she got home.

Still punch-drunk off of his first kiss and having Hilary ask him out, Mokuba intended to simply walk about in a daze for a bit, but as soon as he walked back in the house, he could tell that that would not be the case. Alistair and Seto were yelling at each other across the dining room table while a frightened Trudy cowered in the corner begging them to stop and flinching as Seto slammed his fist down causing his glass to fall on its side and spill its contents. As rivets of tea snaked into the cracks in the wood, Alistair responded to Seto's accusation.

"I've told you at least three times that I didn't _know_ you didn't want me to come! Mokuba didn't tell me a damn thing about it! And while we're on the subject; why the hell do you even care?"

"Do you think I'm idiotic enough to believe you?" Seto shouted back, clenching his fists. "You spent the entire time trying to get under my skin and showing off your stupid bruises!" Seto suddenly realized that mentioning the hickies in front of Trudy might not be the best idea. "You're the most untrustworthy and ungrateful person I've ever met in my life!"

"Oh yeah? At least you _have_ a life!"

"Are you seriously going to use your sob-story as leverage? Spare me. Mokuba!" Seto suddenly caught sight of his brother in the doorway. "Alistair is trying to call you a liar. He says that you never told him to take a hike while we had dinner." Seto smirked at Alistair, clearly expecting to have Mokuba affirm his belief that Alistair had gate-crashed on purpose. Mokuba licked his lips nervously and became very aware of three pairs of eyes on him.

"I uh…sort of…forgot to tell him," he mumbled finally, staring at the floor, much chagrined.

"I told you!" Alistair exclaimed triumphantly, Seto's smirk transferring to his face. "Looks like you owe me an apology."

"I owe you nothing." Seto hated losing more than anything else in the world, and to have been proven wrong by _Alistair_ was leaving a bitter taste in his mouth. He stalked to the door. "Trudy!" The older woman jumped. "Clean the tea off the table."

"I'm so sorry Seto," Mokuba started, but one look from his brother was enough to shut him up.

Seto stormed down to the pool to swim off his anger. He irritably pulled his black shirt over his head and threw it to the ground, his belt and pants quickly following. As he lowered himself into the water a few minutes later he had to admit that as annoying as Alistair had acted, and how much he hated being wrong, neither were the grounds for his rage which found its source in jealousy. He was horribly envious of Alistair's ability to socialize like a normal person despite everything he'd been through because _he_ was incapable. Almost all of his humanity had been stamped out of him by Gozaburo long ago to be replaced by a robotic façade that had come to be irrevocably enmeshed with his soul.

He hadn't meant to be mean to the girl, he simply hadn't known how to interact with her since she was neither his subordinate nor a businessperson and had therefore been forced to stick to asking questions she had seemed to find strange. Then Alistair had come along and very easily and happily it had seemed to Seto struck up a conversation.

That was, in Seto's opinion, the biggest difference between himself and Alistair: though they had both grown up under less than optimal conditions, Alistair still seemed to desire and perhaps even crave human contact (if hugging Seto last night was any indication) while Seto shied away from it. Alistair, though he'd been lied to and used, still chose to trust whereas Seto couldn't, though sometimes, like today, he desperately wished that he could.

Seto found himself wishing a lot of things on lonely drives back from the office. His biggest wish on such occasions was to be normal. To not feel like the weight of the world rested on his shoulders, to not have people expect so much of him, to be able to hang out with friends and do whatever that entailed, to fall in love, and to dream, but then he'd arrive home and realize that that could never be. Mokuba, he was determined, would have that opportunity, and he was giving that opportunity to Alistair too, jealous though it made him to do so.

After he'd apologized profusely to Trudy for losing his temper and scaring her, and then helping her clean the table off, Alistair went back to his room. Sewell, who had been lying on his pillow, looked up as he opened the door and greeted him with a sleepy meow before lying back down.

Alistair had no idea what had possessed Kaiba and made him so angry. He'd mostly seemed nettled that Alistair had been there at all which even for a control freak like Kaiba seemed like an extreme reaction. He played the argument back in his mind, trying to understand what had happened. He had found himself trying to understand Kaiba recently, mostly just absently, like why the man wore long sleeved black shirts when it was hot outside, or why he liked the Blue Eyes White Dragon so much. But other times, he'd wonder about more meaningful things, like now. Something about this situation had shaken him and Alistair was curious as to why.

During their yelling match, Kaiba had called him ungrateful and untrustworthy. Ungrateful he assumed referred to the fact that despite Kaiba's generosity he continued to piss him off on purpose; a quirk that Alistair couldn't explain himself. Untrustworthy was an odd one coming from Kaiba who acted as though he trusted absolutely no one, and yet had seemed betrayed by the thought that Alistair would break his word, which meant that in some capacity or other Kaiba had come to trust him. Interesting. But trust him why, and to do what? They barely ever saw each other except at night…

_That must be it_, Alistair thought. _Is he trusting me to keep my mouth shut about it? Is it that simple_? He mentally shook himself for obsessing over Kaiba again, but old habits die hard as they say.

By midnight he realized that Kaiba wasn't coming, and despite himself the notion bothered him. Even though he knew that he'd probably just get yelled at again, Alistair decided to seek Kaiba out, if for no other reason than to try to understand what had happened a little better. He started by checking the pool, but he wasn't there. The only other obvious option, was his home office since he knew there was no way that Kaiba would turn in so early.

As he approached the office, Alistair could hear Kaiba's voice coming from behind the door, obviously ending a conversation with someone which was odd given the hour.

Seto ended the video conference and eased back in his chair, closing his eyes. Having to deal with people always exhausted him, especially stupid people, which essentially described everyone in his employment. He was not happy to hear that people were contemplating boycotting his company on the grounds that many of the materials were imported from China. Stupid humanitarian tree-hugging hippies. This was not what he needed to hear just as sales were starting to pick up again.

After he heard Seto hang up the phone, Alistair opened the door. He saw Kaiba leaning back in his chair. The CEO didn't react to his space being invaded which Alistair took as an invitation and crossed the room, intending to whip the chair around and pull the black turtleneck Kaiba was wearing over his head, but before he'd even touched him, Kaiba spoke.

"No." The simple command was enough to stop Alistair dead in his tracks. Neither he nor Kaiba had ever said a word during their nighttime meetings, so to have the routine broken took him by surprise. And for Kaiba to break the unspoken rule to warn Alistair off was even stranger. Sure they'd argued that day, but this had always been separate from their relationship any other time.

"Why?" he asked, taken aback, standing less than a foot from the back of Kaiba's chair.

"Because I said so."

"But-," Alistair started.

"I'm not your personal sex doll, Alistair. I told you that I don't owe you anything, and I meant it. You're damn lucky that I took you in in the first place and single handedly put your life back on track. I'm not sure if you realize just how lucky you are, and I care even less, however, the fact remains that despite that, you insist on fighting with me every chance that you get, and on top of that, expect, not only that I won't throw you out, but that you get this too. I'm drawing a line. I refuse to enable your selfishness. If you want to fuck something go to a club. Now get out of my office."

"It's awfully rich of _you_ to call anyone selfish," Alistair retorted, stung.

Seto swiveled the chair around, facing Alistair for the first time since the beginning of the exchange, his eyes flashing in anger, though he managed to keep his voice down.

"Name one justifiable reason to call me selfish," he said through gritted teeth.

"You're joking, right? You're in charge of a corporation, and everyone knows that capitalism is inherently selfish and all the people that believe in it are too. Corporations exist to sell themselves, nothing more. And don't give me that: 'I'm making people happy' bullshit either. If you really wanted to make people happy you wouldn't sell duel disks to people with more money than they know what to do with, you'd give people who are starving _food_! Your corporation didn't do anything to help _me_ when I had nothing!"

"It's not my fault that people are too lazy to work or get hooked on drugs or have more children than they can afford. No one should be rewarded for being irresponsible. An economic system like that wouldn't be sustainable. If you knew anything about economics you'd know that there will always be haves and have nots, and that it can't be any other way. People look at me and are motivated to work harder to have what I have. _That's_ capitalism Alistair. It's competition, and competition results in progress, or are you saying you'd rather live in a world where your ever move is dictated by a government constantly telling you what to do and how much of something you can buy in the name of _fairness_? When has that ever worked? Never. And how often does capitalism work? Always. Why? Because people are inherently greedy and selfish and so money will always be the best motivator, not 'peace' or 'fairness.' The only time that people will do something good is if they have something to gain. It's human nature. So you can call me selfish all you want, but I'm no more selfish than you, I'm just better at getting what I want. The sooner you give up this naïve notion that one day people will cease to be insatiably greedy, the happier you'll be."

"The only people I hold no hope for are people who think like _you_. What you don't understand Kaiba, is that people are only like that because they've _decided_ that the world has to be that way. They _choose_ to only see the bad in humankind. Can people be selfish? Without a doubt, and we may even be selfish by nature, but we also have the ability to choose how we live our lives. I choose to believe that humanity is worth saving and that it can be saved. Good people may be few and far between, but they exist. And even if there was only one pure hearted person left on Earth, I'd say that it's still worth fighting for!"

"Then you're a fool."

"You can't possibly believe that."

"No? Being selfless has never gotten _me_ anything. You for example. I went against my intuition and decided to help you, and what has that brought me? You've been nothing but a thorn in my side since you've been here and you've done nothing but make me regret having been altruistic in the first place. If nothing else, you're a perfect example of why your philosophy never works."

"That's nothing but a self-fulfilling prophesy. You took me in _expecting_ me to be a thorn in your side and so that's all that you see. That's no argument at all."

"Convince me that I'm wrong," Seto retorted tauntingly. "Prove to me that taking you in without there being anything in it for me was a better choice."

"Believe me Kaiba, I'm trying, but it's probably difficult for you to hear me over your ridiculously overinflated ego." Seto flared his nostrils, but Alistair had already left. Seething, Seto turned back to his desk. He'd won their debate, there was no question of that, but the things Alistair said had nevertheless managed to get under his skin once again. Despite knowing that the world Alistair described could never actually exist, he had to cede that it would be nice if it could.

* * *

**Author's Note: **Sorry, bit preachy, but I think that conversations like this between them really highlight that while in many respects Seto and Alistair are very similar, in others they are not. Put simply, many of their altercations stem from a class clash and a moral one. Seto has always been taught that the world is made up of 'sheep and wolves' whereas Alistair is of the opinion that it isn't that black and white. Part of the reason why Seto can't trust people is because he himself would probably (and has probably) stepped all over other people to get to where he is and therefore assumes that everyone else would do the same to him if given half the chance.

Also: my personal opinions on these subjects probably bleed into this as well, but that being said I do exaggerate them a bit here. And I think I'm pretty fair.


	10. Coming out of the closet: A How To

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh! though I sorely wish I did.

**There will be some sex in this chapter; you have been warned. **

* * *

"Be my bad boy, be my man, be my weekend lover, but don't be my friend."

~ _Bad Boy_, Cascada

**Chapter 10**

Alistair awoke the next morning to Sewell licking his face in an attempt to wrench him from more nightmares. He rolled over and allowed himself to cry into her fur as one final shudder ran through his body. Last night's nightmare had brought him back to the day of the fire when he'd lost his three best friends. The explosion still rang in his ears and the sting of the flames still singed the inside of his nose as he tried to pull himself back to the present. He was safe, there was no fire, but they were still never coming back. He pulled Sewell against his chest and sat up, wishing, as always, that the nightmares would stop.

Since it was a Monday, Mokuba had lessons all day which meant that after breakfast, he'd have to entertain himself until at least dinnertime. He could just read all day as per the usual, or go for a ride, but ultimately he decided it would be in his best interest to go out into the city and if nothing else at least find a club of the type Kaiba had mentioned the night before. After last night's dream, he knew he wasn't ready to have friends again, but that was no reason to hide himself away from the world as Trudy put it.

After he'd breakfasted with Mokuba and Trudy, he told Trudy he wouldn't be back for lunch and then returned to his room to pool the money he had as a result of Roland giving him an allowance of sorts every two weeks, compliments he had no doubt, of Kaiba. He'd only ever spent a little bit of it on gas, so he had a pretty decent amount saved up. He pocketed the lot out of habit then left to collect his motorcycle which still had a nasty scratch down the side from having fallen over when he'd nearly run into Roland on the mountain road.

As he drove into the city he tried to think of the best course of action for finding what he was looking for. As he arrived in downtown Domino and started looking for a spot to park his bike, he decided to just wander and if he found something, great, if not, at least he'd have tried.

He ended up parking in a parking garage in the financial district which was nowhere near where he wanted to be, but ironically had the cheapest fee.

He walked past all the major bank branches and office buildings and spat in disgust. This was where all of the Kaiba-minded capitalist sociopaths worked. He'd thought a lot about what Kaiba had said the night before, and though he was deeply ashamed to admit it, Kaiba had had a point about Alistair being selfish. He was forgoing his morals to use Kaiba for his money and influence in order to forge a better life for himself. But it was a life he hoped to use to help people. If he was able to work in some capacity to make the world a better place, he felt as though his temporary hypocrisy would be justifiable.

After leaving the financial district, he entered the commercial district, where billboards and flashing signs competed for space and attention in an attempt to lure consumers inside where they would hopefully fork out lurid amounts of money on material things. The fact that people here could consume so much in good conscience when where he came from every day was a battle for survival made him sick. People in places like Domino were so obsessed with collecting the most toys that they forgot the more important things like companionship, self-sacrifice, unconditional love, compassion, and an appreciation for simply being alive.

Homeless people were abundant here, sitting outside of buildings and begging for change. To each and every one he gave a bill out of his pocket. Some thanked him, some didn't, but it didn't make a difference to Alistair. He knew that they knew he was luckier than them, and that the little bit of money he was giving them wasn't nearly enough to turn their lives around, would barely even get them through the day, and so he in no way felt he really deserved their thanks or praise in any case.

As the clothing and fast food restaurants gave way to bars and clubs, few of which were open in the middle of the day, Alistair started paying more attention, looking for some clue that would tell him where he would be able to find what he was looking for. A diner with a rainbow flag across the window seemed like a good start. He hesitated momentarily before entering and immediately being hit by the sound of a heavily remixed pop song. He was hungry, so even if he ultimately decided that he wasn't interested after all, at least he'd leave with a full stomach. As soon as the thought crossed his mind, he was surprised at himself. He'd never felt entitled to a meal before. The last two months had influenced him more than he'd thought.

"Are you just gonna stand there staring sugar, or are you gonna come in and order something?" Alistair blinked, and realized that the woman…man…he wasn't sure, wearing an old fashioned waitress outfit and chewing bubble gum was addressing him.

"Oh…I…Yes. Sorry." Slightly disconcerted, he let the door swing shut behind him and took a seat at the counter.

"What's your name? I haven't seen you around here before," the waitress, who he was now almost certain was a man dressed as a woman, asked, looking him over.

"Alistair. And no, you probably haven't. I'm new in town."

"Alistair. Now that's a name you don't hear every day. I bet you get guys swooning all over you with a name like that. Well Alistair, you can call me Crystal. I sort of rule the scene. One might even go so far as to call me the Queen." Crystal winked at him before laughing.

"Ah, leave him alone Crystal. I know you're desperate, but you can at least have the class not to spread your legs for every twink that walks in here."

"You sound like you speak from experience," Crystal snapped at the man who had called her out. Alistair turned in the direction the voice had come from, and saw the one who had spoken was in his early twenties and had spiky black hair, dark eyes, and a slightly stubbly face as well as an earring in one ear.

"Don't mind Crystal," he told Alistair. "She's harmless as long as she hasn't been drinking. I'm Darren by the way. It's nice to meet you Alistair." Without breaking eye contact, he held his hand out. Alistair shook it. From behind the counter Crystal snorted derisively.

"Now who's the one spreading their legs?" Darren ignored her.

"Would you like something to drink? A coffee maybe?"

"Umm…ok." Alistair had fully intended to get lunch and look for a flyer for a club and then leave, not be hit on and he had to change his plan on the spot.

"Hey Crystal, once you've gotten the dildo out of your ass, could you possibly be bothered to get Alistair here a coffee." Crystal rolled her eyes and flipped him off before flouncing back to the kitchen.

"So Alistair, do you have a boyfriend?" Darren asked directly, sipping his own steaming drink, never taking his dark eyes off of Alistair. Alistair wasn't really happy about the expression on Darren's face; he was staring him like he'd very much like to take him out back and screw him silly. It wouldn't have bothered Alistair as much since in essence that's what he was looking for, if Darren wasn't pretending that that wasn't what he was leading up to. He didn't like that Darren was very obviously trying to play him.

"A boyfriend? No," Alistair answered slowly as against his will Kaiba's face popped momentarily into his mind.

"Are you sure?" Darren asked, sounding deeply amused.

"No, I don't," Alistair answered more firmly. "And I'm not looking for one either," he added for good measure, all but glaring at the man.

"Ouch, thwarted again," someone behind them commented, laughing. Alistair and Darren both turned. A young man with golden-blonde hair pulled back in a short ponytail and wearing a white muscle shirt, who had been the one who had spoken, seeing that he had their attention, sauntered over and rested his arms on the counter next to Alistair's.

"You have to watch out for scumbags like Darren here. His type can't resist flirting with anything that walks in here," the man informed Alistair, smiling in a way that was probably intended to be playful, but came across as more of a smirk.

"As though you're such a saint Yamashita," Darren retorted sourly. "Scram."

"What do you say, Alistair? Do you want me to get lost and leave you in Darren's less than capable clutches?" Alistair was starting to wish that Darren had ordered him something stronger than coffee, and was very much regretting having set foot in the establishment.

"I honestly don't care what you do because I'm leaving." Sliding off his stool, Alistair reached into his pocket, pulled out a couple of bucks and tossed them on the counter. "That's for the coffee," he said over his shoulder as he left the diner, the little bell on the door clanging as it shut behind him. If that was what the gay scene was like, he'd just as soon stay away. He found himself blaming Kaiba for forcing him to resort to this.

"Hey! Alistair, wait!" It was Darren. Alistair pretended he hadn't heard and kept walking, increasing his pace. "Wait!" he called again, much closer now. Alistair sighed but stopped walking.

"What?" he snapped as the other man paused to catch his breath, having obviously run after him.

"I'm really sorry about what happened back there. Yamashita and I are exes, so we have a sort of a rivalry going on."

"Thanks for the apology." Alistair made to walk away and Darren put a hand on his arm. It took all of Alistair's self control not to throw the older man to the ground.

"Wait. Just hear me out." As soon as he saw that Alistair wasn't going to run away, he continued. "You're not looking for anything serious, right? Because if you want, my apartment isn't that far from here." He looked hopeful. Alistair thought about it. He was still angry at Kaiba for cutting him off, and going off with this guy could…what? Make him jealous? Hardly. And what the hell difference did it matter what _Kaiba_ thought? The question was: did he, Alistair, want to hook up with this guy? He'd never had sex before, hadn't really done anything before, aside from heavily making out with Kaiba like a hormone-charged fourteen year old. Did he want his first time to be as part of a hook-up? And come to think of it, he wasn't sure exactly what sex would mean in this context having never thought about it whatsoever. He knew how it worked of course, though he wasn't sure why or where he would have learned it, but he didn't have any idea how to go about it, whether it would hurt, feel good, whether he even wanted Darren to fuck him at all.

"I've never had sex before," Alistair admitted finally, too under socialized to know that that wasn't a typical thing to admit as an almost twenty year old. Darren looked highly taken aback.

"_Never_?" Alistair shook his head.

"Are you new?"

"What do you mean? To the city?" Darren laughed.

"I mean, did you just come out recently?" Alistair furrowed his eyebrows.

"Did I come out? Of what?"

"The closet," Darren clarified, sounding equally as confused.

"The _closet_?" Alistair could tell that the expression was obviously common, but he'd never heard it before. By now Darren was laughing so hard he could barely keep tears from rolling down his cheeks.

"Oh my god, you've never even heard the expression 'to come out of the closet before?' Where do you _come_ from?"

"Not around here," Alistair answered coolly and Darren could see that he'd insulted him.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't laugh. It's just I've never met someone that sheltered before. It just means: did you recently start telling people that you're gay/realize that you're gay."

"Oh." He would have asked what being gay had to do with closets, but he didn't want to be laughed at again. "I guess both, yeah."

"So do you even know if you're a top or a bottom? Sorry, if you like to, pardon my French, fuck, or be fucked?"

"I'm…not sure." He thought back to his nights with Kaiba. He'd liked Kaiba's weight on top of him, but he'd also liked the idea of being in control, though he knew Kaiba would never let him. "Both I guess."

"True, if you've never done it you can't really know…Still, you obviously have _some_ experience." He reached out and traced one of the fading hickies on Alistair's neck. "Unless you're just really bad with a hair straightener."

"I've only ever kissed one guy."

"Do you want to make it two?" Darren asked, his hand still resting on Alistair's neck. Without thinking about it, Alistair leaned in and kissed him more enthusiastically than Darren had been expecting, but he barely missed a beat. He pulled Alistair against him, one hand finding its way into Alistair's short wavy purple-red hair, the other resting on his lower back.

After having only kissed Kaiba, kissing someone else felt strange, unfamiliar, and he knew that unlike with Kaiba, this encounter was his to dictate.

"Come on, let's go," Darren said softly, inclining his head in the direction his apartment presumably was. Without giving a verbal answer, Alistair nodded.

Darren let them into a red brick apartment building, and they took an elevator to the fourth floor at which point Alistair felt nerves beginning to work their way into his system. Even though he knew he could end this anytime he wanted, the whole thing was leaving him feeling a bit jumpy.

"My roommate might be home, but don't worry about it." Alistair stared at him incredulously. There was no way he was going to go through with this with someone else in the room. "We have separate bedrooms," he added as though he'd read Alistair's mind and Alistair relaxed.

The roommate, a young woman named Britney was there, but assured them that she was leaving within the next ten minutes to head to class. When she thought Alistair wasn't looking she gave Darren a thumbs up and a grin.

Alistair had just enough time to take in that the walls of Darren's small room were covered in posters before Darren began kissing him again, this time much more intensely. In the span of a few minutes, they had pulled each other's shirts off and were making out on the bed, grinding into each other. Alistair was completely at ease with the situation even as Darren reached down to unbutton his pants. It wasn't until he'd pulled his cock out that Alistair realized what he was expected to do and hesitated, completely in over his head.

"Go on, just suck it," Darren instructed him huskily, grabbing a hank of his hair. Alistair looked up at him resentfully, not appreciating getting his hair pulled and the other man loosened his grip. "Just try it, come on." Tentatively, Alistair reached out and loosely wrapped one hand around the stiff member, jerking it back and forth a couple of times experimentally, having barely ever touched himself like that let alone someone else. He seemed to have done something right however, so he continued. "Use your mouth." He licked his lips in preparation and very slowly started to take it into his mouth. A couple of inches in he started to gag and would have backed right off again, but Darren put his hand on the back of his head and started thrusting , causing tears to spring to Alistair's eyes as he continued to choke. Surely this couldn't be what this was supposed to be like to do this.

Either oblivious or indifferent to Alistair's discomfort, Darren carried right on until Alistair was certain he was going to throw up before finally backing off. Without missing a beat, he started kissing down Alistair's chest, careful to leave a trail of fresh hickies in his wake. Had it not been for what happened next, Alistair would have called the whole thing off. He felt Darren unbutton his pants and pull them and his underwear down. Then he felt the warm pressure of Darren's mouth and his body started to relax. He closed his eyes and lay back while Darren continued to suck him off, twitching ever so slightly every time Darren got in a particularly good stroke. After a few minutes, Alistair could feel the pressure starting to build up and his breathing turned ragged.

"Do you want me to finish you, or fuck you," Darren asked matter-of-factly, still jerking him off with one hand. Alistair knew that Darren wanted to have sex, else he wouldn't have stopped Alistair from finishing him off before, but after the rough way that he'd forced him to give him head, he didn't want to get fucked by him.

"Just…keep going," he managed to say. Looking only slightly disappointed, Darren went back down on him. At the last second Alistair gripped the sheets and try as he might, couldn't stop himself from seeing a pair of sapphire eyes in his mind's eye. Then it was over, and he relaxed again, his breathing still uneven.

"Thank you," he said softly as Darren lay down beside him and leaned in for a kiss, his lips still salty.

"You're cute," Darren replied, laughing slightly, tracing a finger lightly across Alistair's chest and coming to rest on his necklace. "What kind of stone is that?"

"I'm not sure," he lied, not caring to go into details. "Did you want me to finish you?"

"Nah. It's ok. But I have to ask: was that your first time getting head?"

"Um…yeah. As I said; I've only ever kissed a guy before."

"That's so wild."

"Well, how long ago did you kiss someone for the first time?"

"Sheesh, a while. The first time I kissed a girl was in middle school, but that doesn't really count, and then the first time I kissed a guy was in high school, tenth grade. His name was Jeremy." Something in Darren's tone prompted Alistair to give a general description of the circumstances surrounding his own first kiss.

"The guy I kissed isn't even someone I like. We were arguing and he was up in my face and something made me think that if I kissed him he'd kiss me back and then the reason why we were arguing wouldn't matter anymore. Turns out I was right."

"Hate sex, not bad. Well, not sex exactly, but still. This guy have a name?" Alistair wavered, sorely tempted to tell him who it was that he'd been making out with all month, if only to see the look of surprise on Darren's face, but he knew that that wouldn't be right.

"He's not worth naming."

"That bad, huh?"

"You could say so."

"Say no more, I understand. Hey, a couple of friends and I are going clubbing this weekend, do you want to come? I know you said you weren't interested in finding a boyfriend, but there are plenty of hot guys to have other kinds of relationships with."

"Oh, I uh…" Truth be told, Alistair had very little interest in 'going clubbing', however, that didn't mean that he didn't want to meet more people after his encounter with Darren had gone so well. Sensing his dilemma, Darren offered him a way out:

"You don't have to feel obligated. The best club around here is _Byzantium_. If you decide to go at some point, maybe we'll run into each other. You might not see me, but there's no way I could miss your hair." He stroked one of Alistair's shiny red locks.

Soon thereafter, Alistair decided it was time to go, and after getting dressed, the two said their goodbyes.

On the walk back to his motorcycle, Alistair felt more in control of his life than he had in quite some time. True, he was relying on Kaiba financially, but his choices were his own and that in and of itself was reason enough to put a spring in his step.

* * *

**Author's Note: **I debated whether or not to write this scene, but finally decided to go with it because I think it's important for Alistair's development to sort of integrate into society since he's been more or less isolated with no one but Dartz, Raphael, and Valon for so long. In other words: I didn't want him to be socially dependent on or have his entire life revolve around Seto since he has thus far. Alistair needs to have his own experiences, and his own life too.


	11. Highs and Lows

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh! *takes a dramatic bow*

* * *

_"Ecstasy... in the air, I don't care, can't tell me nothing, I'm impaired, the worse for wear."_

_~Numb, _Rihanna

**Chapter 11**

Though he spent the mornings reading, Alistair started going out during the day, more often than not ending up hanging around the diner, and more often than not going to someone's apartment. He thought that it was the promise of physical intimacy that lured him there, but it wasn't; it was his craving for human interaction, for closeness, for companionship—things he'd been denied for a very long time.

Kaiba was too busy working on the plans for the next KC sponsored tournament to be able to put his finger on what was going on at home, but he could sense that his control was starting to slip. Mokuba had become more argumentative of late, thanks, he had no doubt, to Alistair's influence, and there were stretches of time where he wasn't sure that he believed Mokuba when he told him where he was. Even Trudy was being more bold than usual, criticizing him for his lack of a social life, comparing him to Mokuba who now had a group of friends he'd met through Hilary with whom he'd hang out, and Alistair who was apparently spending more time away from the house. Every time she suggested he attempt to make friends, he'd glare at her and remind her that if he allowed himself to be as easily distracted as his brother the company would fall into ruin, and who would pay her then. She'd tut and sigh, but eventually let the topic go for the day.

Though he'd never really been a kid the way Mokuba was, Seto had a fairly accurate working understanding of what fourteen year old boys do when left to their own devices, and he knew Mokuba well enough to know that he wouldn't do anything illegal or dangerous, so he figured that he and his friends probably hung out together and played video games for hours on end or went to the park to play Duel Monsters and was none too concerned. As for the parts of his day he was sure Mokuba was lying about, it wouldn't take a genius to figure out that he was with Hilary, and that didn't concern him either.

No, he didn't worry about what Mokuba was up to, though he resented his rebelliousness, what made him uneasy was Alistair. Where was he going all day? He couldn't help but be suspicious that the former Doma employee might try to ruin him a second time. Finally, after mulling it over for several days, he had Saito follow him into the city that Friday night.

Alistair had decided not to go to the club, _Byzantium_, for a few weeks after meeting Darren, because he didn't want Darren to think he was going to follow him around like some lovesick puppydog, and instead opted to roam the area in search of a different place to make someone's acquaintance.

As he walked, he couldn't quite shake the feeling that someone was watching him, but every time he'd whip around, there was no one there, no one obvious at least. After repeating this cycle three times, Alistair shook himself. Why would anyone be following him? Raphael and Valon were presumably long gone, Dartz was gone, and no one else here knew him except for the couple of guys he'd hooked up with. That left one possibility which was that the person dogging him was a thief or some other kind of thug, but the neighborhood he was currently in was deserted, so if someone wanted to mug him, this would be the opportune moment. Since there was no one attacking him, he had to concede that he was being unnecessarily jumpy.

He finally found his way back to a more inhabited area alight with neon signs and rainbow flags. He surveyed the selection of establishments, noting the location of _Byzantium_, and then opted to walk into a bar. By now he was used to the looks he got when he walked into a place like this. The once-overs didn't make him uncomfortable anymore, if anything they boosted his mood. He inspected the selection of people in the bar, and locked eyes with a young man about his age with short silvery spiked hair and startlingly green eyes. With much more confidence than he would have displayed only weeks before, Alistair approached his target.

"Hey," he said once he was within earshot, "I'm Alistair."

"I'm Leigh," the other man introduced himself.

Several flirty comments later, the two agreed to leave together after a few drinks.

Alistair had never had alcohol before and realized far too late, that he should have been keeping track of how many drinks he was having and taken stock of how he felt after each one. As it turned out, it didn't take much to leave him completely inebriated. He quickly lost track of time, and of what exactly was going on after he, Leigh, and several other people arrived at their third bar, caught up in the drunken fun of partying into the wee hours.

The last thing he could clearly remember was his fifth shot, and deciding to chase it with a sixth. He had splintered memories of the rest of the night of making out with someone, probably Leigh, and of sitting on a bright white tiled floor. He could remember snatches of music, bright lights, and an overall feeling of well-being. The euphoria evaporated quickly once he woke up the next morning however.

When Alistair didn't show up for dinner Friday night, Trudy immediately suspected the worst and expressed her concerns to Seto at breakfast Saturday morning.

"He's never missed a meal," she fretted as she poured Seto a cup of coffee. "Not once the whole time he's been here. Something must have happened to him." Seto, who had called Saito off of Alistair's trail after the man called in to tell him that Alistair was only out partying, knew that the redhead was probably passed out on someone's floor after having had the night of his life.

"He's fine."

"How can you say that? He's not from the city, maybe he got lost! He doesn't even have a cell phone."

"I said he's fine Trudy. I had Saito follow him last night to make sure he wasn't up to something. He was out at bars drinking all night. He'll probably stumble through the door with a hangover around lunchtime." Trudy pursed her lips.

"You don't sound like someone who cares." Seto took a careful sip of his black coffee.

"That's because I don't. Alistair isn't my responsibility. He's an adult who should know better than to get blackout drunk and if he doesn't that isn't my problem."

Alistair woke up with a terrible migraine on a couch that was most definitely not the one in his apartment at Kaiba's. He squinted against the ungodly bright sunlight, and surveyed the rest of the room. It appeared to belong to a hotel and it was completely trashed. He was infinitely grateful not to be responsible for paying for it. There were people lying all over the floor and bed in various stages of undress, at least ten of them. If he hadn't had to go to the bathroom so badly, Alistair would have gladly sunken back into oblivion, but as it was, he forced himself to get shakily to his feet and stumble to the bathroom.

As he was washing his hands, he looked in the mirror. His hair was a complete rat's nest and he had dark rings under his eyes, but despite the headache and the obvious physical toll that so much drinking had wrought, he was glad to have done it. Alcohol had done what nothing else had; allowed him a dreamless night's sleep. He felt certain that if he hadn't stayed up until god knew when, he would have slept soundly. The realization prompted him to put alcohol on the top of his mental list of things to acquire in the near future.

He didn't want to be rude, but he felt that making his exist before anyone else woke up wouldn't be to his detriment and was very careful not to jostle anyone during his search for his shirt, pants, and jacket which he eventually found on opposite sides of the room (though how they got there he had no idea). Once dressed, he left to retrieve his motorcycle, which turned out to be more difficult than he had anticipated since he had no idea where he was and trying to figure it out only made his head hurt. He was fairly certain that if he walked far enough he'd be able to find the downtown, but the mere thought of having to walk more than a block and then drive made him nauseous, leaving him only one option: to call the Kaiba mansion and hope that someone would come get him. It would be humiliating, but at least then he wouldn't have to walk.

He walked back into the hotel and asked the man at the counter if he could use the phone. The man could see that Alistair was the worse for wear and allowed him five minutes. Grateful beyond measure that he still had the number memorized, Alistair dialed and prayed that someone would pick up.

"Kaiba residence," a male voice said.

"Kanzo!" Alistair breathed a sigh of relief.

"_Alistair_?" Kanzo hadn't spoken to or seen Alistair much since the day of Mokuba's accident, and was very surprised to suddenly be talking to him on the phone, and none too happy. He wasn't a huge fan of the wild young man Mr. Kaiba was letting freeload at the estate, especially after _he'd_ gotten reprimanded for letting Alistair and Mokuba off the grounds together.

"This is going to sound really strange, but could you possibly have someone come and get me? Alfred maybe? I'm at the," he paused and looked over at the name written atop a pad of hotel stationary and relayed it to Kanzo. "I'm not sure how to get back to where I left my motorcycle, and to be completely honest I'm not sure I could drive it even if I knew how to get to it; I'm not feeling all that well." Kanzo quickly put two and two together and realized that Alistair was probably hungover.

"Mr. Jones isn't actually on call at the moment." Alistair's unsettled stomach sank. "But I can ask Mrs. Ravensdale if she could pick you up." Alistair had never heard Trudy's last name, but assumed that's who he was talking about.

"Thank you so much," Alistair said. "I really appreciate it."

"In any case, if she can't, I'll find _someone_ to come get you, but I wouldn't make a habit of this; we don't get paid to retrieve _you_ from thither and yon," Kanzo replied snippily before hanging up.

While he waited for his ride in the hotel's atrium, he didn't even bother trying to piece the night's events together. What was the point? He'd gotten plastered and apparently at least made out with Leigh, possibly more. But in the grand scheme of things what did it really matter? The wave of apathy struck him unexpectedly and without mercy.

Why was he even bothering to go on? What did he have to live for? Maybe Kaiba was right; maybe humanity _was_ rotten. If that was the case, what reason did he have not to just kill himself? Then at least he wouldn't have to have any more nightmares, nor would he have to drown them in alcohol.

And how was it that a scumbag like Kaiba had someone to live for, and he didn't? Kaiba didn't deserve Mokuba's loyalty; far from it. It was completely unfair! He must have done something truly deplorable in a past incarnation to warrant what he'd been given this time around…

By the time Trudy arrived twenty minutes later to retrieve him, Alistair was slumped over in his chair, dozing and completely depressed.

"Alistair!" Trudy exclaimed dropping her handbag and rushing to his side. "Are you alright?" She started to reach out and check his temperature when he spoke.

"Don't even bother. I'm not worth it."

"He's been like that all morning," the bellboy said as he walked past, wheeling a cart of luggage and the guy at the desk snorted. Trudy shot both men looks before turning her attention back to Alistair.

"Alistair, come on, look at me. Do you need to see a doctor? You look a fright!" As he'd turned at the sound of his name, she could see several bruises on his neck.

"I don't care."

"Alistair, you're scaring me. What's the matter?" She placed a hand on his forehead. He didn't feel unusually hot. Perhaps Seto had been right and he was merely hungover, but even still she couldn't help but pity him. He looked like he'd been up all night, and was obviously exhausted. "Come on, get up. Let's go home."

"Home?" Alistair looked at her with hollow eyes and laughed mirthlessly. "I don't have a home. I haven't had a home since I was nine years old." She didn't know what to say to that. Luckily Alistair hefted himself to his feet and started walking towards the door, his gait unsteady. She hurried after him, her long gray hair escaping from its bun in the process.

His fatigue caught up to him on the ride home, and he nodded off, snapping awake every five minutes before falling asleep again.

Upon arriving at the mansion, Trudy left her car with Kanzo and helped Alistair stumble into the atrium and up to his room. He would have just as soon crashed on the couch or lain down in his nest under the bed where Sewell was snoozing, but Trudy insisted that he change his clothes first, saying that she wouldn't allow him to wear what he had on a moment longer.

He very lethargically removed his trench coat and T-shirt, both of which Trudy quickly threw over her arm so she could put them through the wash. He promised to change his pants and pacified, Trudy left, promising to check on him in several hours and bring him something to eat. She also encouraged him to drink lots of water, and offered to bring him sleeping pills or pain medication, both of which he declined. He knew that sleeping deeply would result in prolonged and inescapable nightmares.

He pulled his jeans off, tossing them unceremoniously behind him before lowering himself onto the floor which disturbed Sewell who looked at him reproachfully, yawned, and finally shifted over to allow him room on the pillow. As he was falling asleep, he couldn't help but think that never waking up wouldn't be so bad. Then at least he would be able to see Mikey again.

_Why not_? A reckless voice in the back of his mind whispered. _You could do it, end it all. There will be no Kaiba to stop you this time. After everyone else goes to bed, go down to the wine cellar and drink until you're too far gone to turn back. And then_…

When Trudy came to wake him, Alistair was already up, showered, and in seemingly much better spirits.

"Hello Trudy. I'm so sorry I scared you this morning," he apologized as he took a tray of eggs, bacon, and toast as well as a steaming pot of tea from her. "This looks delicious; I'm starving!" He flashed a smile.

"I'm glad you've got a little more pep to your step," she replied slowly, looking anywhere but at his black and blue neck. "How are you feeling?" He swallowed the piece of toast he'd been chewing before answering.

"I honestly still feel terrible, and I can't remember the last time my head hurt this badly, but I'm not tired anymore."

"What were you doing last night?" Trudy asked tersely. "I was worried sick! When you didn't come to dinner all I could think was that you'd gotten into some kind of accident with that stupid bike of yours!" She looked so hurt that Alistair felt bad for not having said he wasn't going to be back last night, but he honestly hadn't thought that she'd care.

"I'm truly sorry," he replied sincerely. "I didn't realize you'd miss me."

"Of course I would," she snapped, wiping tears from the corners of her eyes. "I consider all of you my boys since I never had children myself. And you're all so reckless! I don't think any of you realize how much I worry about you!"

"I'm sorry," he repeated, setting the food aside and giving her a hug. It felt strange to comfort someone after all the years he'd been forced to spend distanced from other people, and he felt an unexpected warmth in his chest at the prospect of not being alone; a warmth that made him question his decision.

"What happened to your motorcycle anyway?" Trudy asked after she pulled herself together.

"Oh, that. It's still in the city. I left it in a parking garage in the financial district. I'll probably have to pay a pretty fine too; I only paid for twenty-four hours."

"Oh don't worry about that. I'll have Roland pick it up in his truck on his way back from work."

"Does he live here too?" Alistair didn't think so, but the man always seemed to be around.

"No, no. He has his own place somewhere, he's just very dedicated to Mr. Kaiba who apparently did him some sort of favor." She looked wistful. "He was such a good boy, Seto. Still is, he just needs to let himself relax every once in a while." She sighed.

"Everyone around here acts like Kaiba's some kind of saint, but I mean…why?" Despite the fact that in a few hours it likely wouldn't matter, his curiosity was piqued.

"You'll never meet a more selfless person. When he and Mokuba first came here, Seto was very shy, but very sweet. Mr. Gozaburo kept him on a tight leash, but he always made time to help me in the kitchen, and he never once complained even though he'd cry and call himself a failure whenever he struggled." Alistair couldn't even begin to imagine Kaiba as someone capable of crying, let alone actually doing it. "He helps us all out when he can, even still. He helped Alfred put his son through college, he gave Saito an advance so that he could buy his fiancé a nice engagement ring, he's always loaning or giving one of us money, he's helped out the maids, Kanzo, Roland, Mokuba of course, and now you. How can you not see that he's a good person? Underneath all of the bluster and the façade of indifference of course. Ultimately he always puts everyone before himself even though that must leave him feeling horribly drained and lonely, poor thing."

Alistair had never thought about Kaiba that way before and was quite surprised to find himself empathizing with him. He too knew the pressure of having the weight of the world on his shoulders and had been the unhappier for it, much as he believed in helping others. It suddenly occurred to him that he had no idea whether Kaiba derived any pleasure from running Kaiba Corp, or if he merely went through the motions because it was all he had left.

He felt guilty for having encouraged Mokuba to abandon his brother. He realized how selfish he'd been in his treatment of Kaiba, lashing out at him out of jealousy that Kaiba had something that he did not and projecting his own self-loathing onto the other man. Kaiba wasn't nice, he was by no means modest, he was callous, sometimes cruel, and mean, and yet after realizing where his dislike of Kaiba came from, he regretted having treated him as he had. He suddenly felt very sorry for the man that seemingly had everything when that clearly wasn't true. But he surely couldn't be feeling sorry for Kaiba, could he? And the fact that he was able to feel anything at all, did that mean that there was still a spark left in him? A will to live?

"Are you alright?" Trudy asked again.

"Not yet, but I think I will be." This time, his smile was genuine. After he'd finished eating and was left alone with his thoughts, he silently thanked Kaiba for saving him yet again, this time without even knowing it.

* * *

**Author's note: **What is the purpose of this chapter you ask? Well, I wanted to get a chance to highlight just how not alright Alistair is. He's still struggling with survivor's guilt, post traumatic stress, depression, and the emotional roller coaster that all of those bring with them. This story isn't just about Alistair and Seto falling for each other, it's about them tackling their deep-rooted issues which ain't no picnic. So yeah, both of these guys are occassionally going to make some not very well thought out decisions; but of different types. Seto would never in a million years go out partying or sleep around as a coping mechanism, but Alistair's emotions run much hotter than his icy counterpart's.


	12. How Not To Cry

**Disclaimers: **I would never even presume to try and take credit for Yu-Gi-Oh! or from the quote I snagged from The Vampire Diaries (denoted with an *)

**Trigger Warning (I seem to have a lot of these): **There will be cutting in this chapter.

* * *

_"Even though I made it on my own sometimes the world's cold standing alone._

_I'm reaching for a hand that I can hold, because in the end I'm only human." _

_~Only Human, _The Cheetah Girls

**Chapter 12**

Seto set the phone back in its cradle. Outwardly nothing appeared to have changed; he was calm, as always, cool some might call it. Inside, he was hurt. He never offered to come home early, so for Mokuba to choose a girl over him was making his heart ache. How could his brother abandon him so easily? Then again, he supposed he should be used to it. Everyone seemed to abandon him when they had gotten what they needed from him; in that Gozaburo had been right.

Seto had thought that blood was thicker than water and that Mokuba at least would always put him first. He was wrong. Clearly the only person he could rely on was himself. The thought did nothing to console him, if anything it made him feel worse. What was the point of going through life alone? If he liked himself better, the concept of having no one but himself for company wouldn't be so bad. But as it was he found himself constantly repulsed by the person that he'd become, and so the prospect of being stuck with himself, and himself alone was not only unsavory, it was downright depressing.

He was starting to sense that the sole purpose of his existence; taking care of Mokuba, had more or less run its course. In just a few years Mokuba wouldn't need him anymore. Already Seto was starting to feel like an outdated Duel Disk when it came to his brother. He was very ill equipped to advise Mokuba in the ways of dating, sex, friendship, and all the other topics that were bound to arise. He'd never experienced any of those things so what use was he to his brother now?

On the upside, knowing that Mokuba was almost grown meant that Seto only had to weather a few more years before he could permanently retire, his role fulfilled. Mokuba would be sad of course, of that he was sure, but he'd get over it. In the meantime Seto was simply going to have to accept that he was no longer number one in his brother's eyes; a feeling he was starting to get used to after having the title of Duel Monster's Champion taken from him by Yugi. Kaiba Corp was still the number one gaming company, but Seto, alone at the top, felt as though he was no one's hero anymore, and it hurt, more than he'd ever confess, to admit that. It was going to be one of those nights.

After he clocked out, earlier than usual, but not as early as he'd been planning, Seto began the long drive home, his mind racing ahead to the box he kept in the bottom drawer of his dresser in which he kept his knife.

On nights like this, Seto moved as if in a dream. Time seemed to slow all around him, colors dulled, but the beat, beat, beat of his heart seemed to grow louder with every passing second, and he could all but hear the blood coursing through his veins. His hands would shake, his breath would catch, and he'd feel that if he didn't relieve the pressure building up all through his body he would surely go insane.

His car streaked along the dark and empty streets of Domino, but to Seto it seemed he wasn't going nearly fast enough. He finally arrived home, carefully parked in the garage and forced himself to keep a normal gait, though he wanted nothing better than to run as fast as he could to his room and put a stop to the pulsing, aching pressure.

Like everything else he did, this too was ritualistic. He got to his room, retrieved the plain black lacquered box from underneath a small stack of photos of his brother and parents, stashed it in his pocket, and made for Mokuba's room. He tipped the door open causing a sliver of light to play across his brother's sleeping face before closing the door again, content that all was well. That done, he began his journey to the drawing room, the room he had designated as 'that room', in which he always found himself on his bad days. Having closed the door to stifle the noise, Seto, as he had on nights like this one before, reached for the violin hanging on the wall. In a fog, he tuned the beautiful instrument, rosined the bow, and commenced to play. As a small child, his parents had insisted that he take lessons, and though he'd resented it at the time, he was grateful to have been forced into it now. It was not a skill that Gozaburo had seen fit to hone, though he had allowed Seto time enough to practice so that he could play at the beginnings of dinner parties; something to entertain and charm the guests. Seto had relished in the time he was allowed to spend with the instrument; it had been his mother's. Since taking over Kaiba Corp the only times he played anymore where when he was desperate. Desperate to try to work out his despair in a way that would not harm him and cause more scars, though he knew his effort was in vain. Still, in a perverse paradox, depression was exciting for him because it meant he could play, though the two being interconnected was his own concoction that could be changed at any time, and yet somehow couldn't.

Today he chose to play Vitali's _Chaccone_. It was just the right blend of melancholy and powerful to suit his mood. From _Chaccone_ he moved on to the violin adaptation of the song _Meditation_ from the opera _Thaïs_. He played with his eyes closed, and became so lost in the music, he didn't notice that Alistair was watching him through one of the plate-glass windows.

Alistair had stayed up waiting for Kaiba to get home so that he could steal down to the wine cellar and drink himself silly in peace without having to worry about bumping into the other man and getting told off, or worse—thrown out. After he heard Kaiba pull into the garage, he listened intently for the sound of Kaiba completing his rounds: checking in on Mokuba, going to his bedroom to change, going down to the pool to swim a few laps, then back upstairs to go to bed. This night, however, Kaiba deviated from his routine, first going to his room, then to check on Mokuba which threw Alistair off since afterwards he didn't return to the bedroom, but instead seemed to be going off in a totally different direction. Annoyed, Alistair crept out of his room, locking a disgruntled Sewell inside, and stole after Kaiba to see what he was up to and if it would be likely that they'd bump into each other.

Instead of going down to the pool, Kaiba had turned abruptly and gone down a flight of stairs that led to the west wing of the house which, to Alistair's knowledge, was hardly ever used. Intrigued, he continued to dog the CEO, making sure to keep his tread light lest he be heard. He watched as Kaiba made his way to a drawing room of sorts and go inside without bothering to turn the lights on after closing the door. To Alistair's astonishment, Kaiba took a violin down off the wall, tuned it, and started playing it. The sound was muffled by the heavy door and windows, but because he was right outside, Alistair could hear every note. He knew nothing about violins and caught none of the mistakes that Seto made, only the mood of the music which was quite sad. Because Kaiba was playing with his eyes closed, Alistair felt he could watch through the window without being caught. The deftness with which Kaiba's fingers danced across the fingerboard of the violin had him completely mesmerized, as did the expression on his face; that of very concentrated misery.

Suddenly Kaiba stopped playing and Alistair quickly ducked so that he was practically flat on the floor and prepared to bolt which, even from his seemingly awkward position he knew he could do. He heard the dull echo of wood against the plaster of the wall and started to creep down the hallway, intending to hide in the next room over until Kaiba passed by. Secure in the bathroom next door, Alistair waited. The seconds turned to minutes, and he started to grow impatient. He would have heard if Kaiba had left the drawing room which meant that he was still there. What the hell was he doing?

Alistair decided to risk venturing out again. He didn't know what he'd expected to see when he looked in the window, but it certainly wasn't Kaiba sitting at the coffee table with a knife to his wrist. Alistair would have barged right in to stop him were it not for the look on Kaiba's face. He looked deathly calm, but there was emotion bubbling just under the surface. Surely that couldn't be happiness Alistair was seeing in Kaiba's eyes despite the grimace of pain as he pressed the blade into his flesh. It wasn't until a rivet of blood dripped down the pale skin of his wrist that Alistair came to his senses, preparing to intervene, concern welling up inside him.

Seto caught a flash of movement outside the room out of the corner of his eye before Alistair had yanked the door open. He dropped the knife and instinctively pulled his sleeve down over his wrist to hide the cut on the off-chance that Alistair hadn't seen what he'd done. The knife hit the wooden floor with a clank, but neither of them heard it over the sound of Alistair's voice.

"Kaiba, stop! What are you doing?"

"I don't have to justify myself to you in my own house!" Seto snapped, crossing his arms defensively across his chest, very aware of the blood still flowing freely from the incision he'd made. Alistair knew that he'd caught Kaiba at a very intimate moment, and that the CEO was probably feeling as vulnerable and exposed as he'd felt when Kaiba woke him from his nightmares and therefore tried to exercise extreme tact.

"No, you're right, I'm sorry, but you startled me. I just wanted to make sure you were ok."

"Why?" Seto snapped angrily. "What do you need from me? Do you need money?" He forcibly wrenched his wallet out of his back pocket with his right hand and threw it at Alistair's feet. "There. Take it."

"I don't want your money," Alistair replied, unnerved by the feral look that was warping Kaiba's features.

"No? What do you want then, my body? My influence? My pride? _What do you want from me_?" He sounded positively deranged and had blood dripping down the tips of his fingers and spattering onto the floor. Alistair found himself taking an unconscious step backwards.

"Nothing," he said honestly.

"Liar!" Seto accused him furiously, hoping his display of anger would remind the former Doma employee that he was not weak. "Everyone wants a piece of me! My competition, my employees, Mokuba, you; it doesn't matter how much I do, it's never enough for any of you!" Alistair had never seen Kaiba lose control like this. Sure, he'd seen Kaiba angry before, even been yelled at by him, but even then he hadn't really completely lost his temper or his reserve. Now he was positively raving. Alistair had the distinct feeling that Kaiba wasn't really mad at him in particular, he just seemed to be focusing his rage on him since he was standing there. Keeping that in mind, he was able to circumvent his inclination to lose his own temper, and managed to stay calm.

"Kaiba, calm down," he said as evenly as possible, slowly raising his hands to show that he meant no harm. Using the same methods that had gotten Sewell to trust him; slow movements, and a soft voice, but firm tone, seemed to work on Kaiba too. Though he still looked wary and defensive, the wild expression slowly faded away.

"Why did you follow me here if you don't want something?" Seto asked coldly. He was sick of the redhead invading his privacy, and felt particularly violated by Alistair this time. Alistair made a quick decision and chose to be honest.

"I wanted to know where you were going to be so that you wouldn't catch me getting drunk in the wine cellar." As he'd hoped, Kaiba looked taken aback. _Good, anything to get him back from the edge…_

"Excuse me?" Seto asked, narrowing his eyes as though the gesture would help make sense of Alistair's statement.

"You're not the only one having a bad day. I was going to down a bottle of wine, two if that's what it took, then I was either going to jump out the attic window or just pass out until tomorrow."

"What is up with you and jumping as a form of suicide?" The utter craziness of Alistair's words slowly guided him back from the dark pit he'd fallen into. Alistair shrugged.

"It's efficient."

"You realize there's a good chance that you'd survive the fall, right? You'd break a couple bones and maybe never walk again, but it's not _that_ far to the ground."

"And you realize that there's a good chance that you'd survive slashing your wrist, right?" Alistair shot back. Seto self-consciously wrapped his right hand around his left wrist.

"I wasn't trying to kill myself," Seto muttered, lowering his eyes. "I just…"

"You're a little old to start going through an emo phase now, don't you think?" Alistair asked with a trace of humor. Warm flames of anger flickered to life in Seto's brain for a second time, misinterpreting Alistair's ribbing as a malicious jibe.

"Oh, so because you've gone through so much you're allowed to go off the rails, but I'm just a spoiled little rich kid, so I'm not? Is that how it works? Fuck you Alistair." He made to push past the shorter man, but Alistair stood his ground, much to Seto's surprise.

"How would Mokuba feel if he knew?"

"The only way Mokuba would ever find out, would be if you told him, but I doubt even you would sink so low." The pleading note in Seto's voice was not lost on Alistair.

"Of course not. I just mean that he'd feel terrible that you didn't trust him enough to tell him. If I would ever have found out that Mikey was cutting himself I'd feel like it was my fault for not realizing that something was wrong."

"There's nothing wrong with me," Seto insisted, back on the defensive.

"Clearly."

"You're one to talk; you can't even get through the night without yelling in your sleep. You're t least as messed up as I am if not more." Alistair had to admit that that was true.

"We're not so different, you and I, are we?" he mused. Somehow the thought comforted him.

"We're nothing alike," Seto deadpanned reflexively. He knew perfectly well that he and Alistair were similar; he just didn't want to acknowledge it out loud.

"Yes we are. So you can lie and say that everything's fine, but know that I can see through you, just like you'd see through me if I told you I was fine." Seto felt his jaw tighten.

"I'd have to be a complete moron to think that you don't have issues, but so what? Just because I know doesn't mean I care. If you're too weak to fight your demons; it's nothing to do with me."

"What about your demons, huh? Are they nothing to do with you either? Grow up Kaiba. If you want to insist that magic isn't real, fine. Ridiculous, but fine. But you _know_ that this," he pointed at the knife lying on the floor and then at the small droplets of blood at Kaiba's feet, "is not ok. Cut it out Kaiba, for your own sake."

"Don't you dare tell me how to live my life!" Seto snarled. "You have no right! If it weren't for me you'd be living on the streets right now, or dead."

"I know." Alistair's expression was pensive. _Why is he not fighting me?_ Seto wondered, unsettled. "And I'm grateful. I was wrong about you. I didn't know about all of the things you've done for Roland and Trudy and Saito, and all the others. Why don't you let people see the good in you?" He looked into Seto's eyes as he finished and Seto found himself answering, much as though he'd been hypnotized.

"When people see good, they expect good and I don't want to live up to anyone's expectations."*

"That's probably the most pathetic thing I've ever heard, and I've heard a lot of pretty sad things in my life." Seto flared his nostrils. "But at least it proves that you're human; I was starting to wonder."

"I'm really getting sick of you Alistair."

"Then why did you take me in? You mentioned before that you knew I'd just be a thorn in your side, yet you brought me here. You could have set me up in a hotel or something, but you didn't. Why?" Seto snorted.

"I may be rich but I'm not going to waste money if I don't have to. Taking you in was more cost-effective."

"Is that the truth?" Seto's face became drawn.

"I'm not going to let you interrogate me in my own house," he replied flatly and Alistair could sense that he wasn't going to get anything more from Kaiba that night.

"Fine." He started to leave when Seto said:

"Why are you trying to help me?" Alistair turned back to face him.

"For the same reason that you woke me up from my nightmares; it's the right thing to do. Helping someone who's in pain is second nature to me, and I can't help but try to intervene when I can."

"Hmm…" There was a long pause and Alistair began walking to the door. "Thank you." Alistair froze, then smiled to himself.

"You're welcome," he replied without turning around, then made his exit.

As he bandaged his wrist in the bathroom next door, Seto thought about what had happened. What had possessed him to say thank you? He should have kicked Alistair out of the house for walking in on him like that. He should have done it after Alistair had the nerve to put Mokuba in danger. Scratch that: he shouldn't have taken Alistair in at all. What difference did it make to him whether Alistair lived or died? He had no answer. All he knew is that after Alistair had collapsed on top of the plane he'd felt bound to make sure he was ok. The duelist had affected him more than any other opponent he'd ever had, barring Yugi. After he'd established that Mokuba was alright and that Roland was still on his way to help, he knew he could have left Alistair on the plane for one of his lackeys to deal with, but something had urged him to carry the fallen Doma member from the wreck himself.

It had been a strange feeling; caring for someone like that, someone he barely knew and had every reason to detest. Even stranger had been touching him. Touch was something he avoided, and even though Alistair hadn't even been conscious, it had been an alien feeling to have someone else's body that close to his. The only other person he'd ever carried was Mokuba.

And then there was the inescapable fact that Alistair had impacted him on a deeper level than just raising his pity; having been drawn to his room on more than one or two occasions proved that much. But why? Try though he might to understand what was so damn unshakable about the redhead he kept coming up blank. There was nothing overtly special about him, and yet there was something that was causing Seto to question so much about the way he did things.

Though they did nothing but fight like alley cats, Alistair had snapped into action when he saw that Seto was going to hurt himself, and claimed that it was merely second nature for him to do so. Seto believed him though he couldn't truly understand it. He only knew the instinct must be connected to why he hadn't left Alistair on the plane. Compassion, that's what it was. But compassion was for the weak and the foolish, wasn't it? That's what Gozaburo claimed at least. Could it be that that was wrong? Seto had disagreed with his step-father on many, many levels, hence why Kaiba Corp was no longer a weapons manufacturing company, but on that count he had thought the businessman was right. He suddenly realized that puzzling over the conundrum that was Alistair had caused the suffocating depression to dissipate and was grateful even though he knew it would return again.

* * *

**Author's Note: **First of all: thank you to everyone who dared to take a chance on my story, and also a very heartfelt thank you to everyone who has written a review; you're all lovely.

In contrast to Alistair who has very emotional responses to his problems, Seto tries to keep his issues, which he considers weaknesses, under wraps and maintain a semblance of control; hence, the cutting which is the only outlet for his sorrow that he allows himself.


	13. Hit Me With Your Best Shot

**Disclaimer: **Here's a cool drinking game: take a shot every time I tell you I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh!

* * *

_"No you don't_

_Have to treat me like a fool_  
_No you don't_  
_Have to be so bloody cool_  
_No you don't_  
_Have to make up all the rules"_

_~No You Don't, Pat Benatar _

**Chapter 13**

After that night something changed between Seto and Alistair. Neither acknowledged it out loud, but the fact remained that a new understanding had developed between them. A mutual respect. Mokuba, wrapped up in his relationship with Hilary though he was, noticed it too, as did Trudy; all of a sudden there was no angry undercurrent when the two met up, rare though it was what with Seto working so hard on the Grand Championship tournament which he was going to announce quite soon.

"You and Seto are getting along better now," Trudy ventured one afternoon in the middle of October over lunch. Alistair looked up from his bowl, startled.

"I guess," he responded neutrally before returning to his soup. Sensing that he wasn't going to give further comment she added:

"Well, I'm glad. It's quite nice not to have to worry about you two having a yelling match every time you cross paths."

"Uh-huh." She decided to change the subject.

"Are you thinking about entering the tournament Seto's setting up?"

"I hadn't thought about it," he answered honestly. "I'm not sure how Kaiba'd feel about that."

"What would it matter to him? He's not planning on dueling at all. I think you should go for it! I'd love to be able to root for you!"

"Kaiba's not going to duel?" That took him aback. Since when did Kaiba pass up the chance to stroke his ego slash try to defeat Yugi?

"He's working far too hard to have time he says. It's really quite a pity; dueling always used to make him so happy…"

"Not entering a dueling tournament doesn't sound like Kaiba," Alistair agreed. He wondered if Kaiba deciding not to enter meant that he wasn't as fine as he'd claimed to be. Even though he knew it might get him yelled at, he resolved to confront Kaiba about the matter when he got home that night.

"Tcha, he must know best." Trudy threw up her hands. "Although," she added slyly, "perhaps once the tournament gets underway he'll have time for other things."

"What do you mean?" He'd never heard Trudy sound quite so devious.

"If you promise not to say anything I'll tell you." He crossed himself as he'd seen his mother do many times though he himself wasn't particularly religious. "One of my friends has a niece who just turned twenty and she's very sweet and pretty and smart, and more to the point: single. I'm hoping to conveniently have her 'round to the house a few times while he's here and see if maybe I can't play match maker."

"I don't think Kaiba would be very interested," he replied automatically, the notion of Kaiba doing with some faceless girl what the two of them had done affecting him more than he cared to admit.

"That's what Mokuba said too. Although he seemed to be of the opinion that with a little coercion he could bring Seto around. You don't think so?"

"I mean, he said himself that he's too busy at work to even duel in his own tournament; there's no way he'd agree to go out with some girl. Besides, this is _Kaiba_ we're talking about."

"She's not just 'some girl'; that's the beauty of it. She's studying computer programming at the university; already they'd have a lot in common." Alistair was very tempted to ask if Trudy was even sure Kaiba was interested in girls at all, but managed to stop himself.

"Sounds like it could work then," he said moodily, taking another bite of soup.

"What's got your knickers in a twist all of a sudden? If I find a girl I think you'd get on with I'll tell you; Momo just kind of fell in my lap, that's all."

"Her name's '_Momo'_?" Alistair asked disdainfully. He tried to imagine Kaiba taking a girl with such a silly name seriously. Trudy nodded. "Hmph."

"I just really feel like she and Seto would have more in common than she and you would otherwise I would have set the two of you up instead."

"I doubt I would have been interested."

"Then don't fuss about it. I'll ask around and see if anyone knows any other nice girls." Alistair made a not very well thought out decision and blurted out:

"Don't bother; I'm not going to be interested in any of them." Before a confused Trudy could interject he added: "I don't want to date girls."

"Oh," Trudy said after a moment's pause, realization hitting her. There was silence between them for a solid minute. "I guess I'll have to ask around and see if anyone knows any nice boys then, won't I?" Alistair gave a non-committal shrug.

"I'm not really interested in dating anyone right now."

"You sound just like Seto." As soon as the words left her lips, something occurred to her. Deciding to keep her newfound suspicions to herself she proceeded as though she'd thought nothing at all.

It rained for the rest of the day so Alistair holed up in the library with Sewell, deciding to tackle _Frankenstein. _The storm outside served as the perfect backdrop and he quickly found himself completely absorbed in the story, barely moving a muscle for a solid four and a half hours. It was only Sewell rubbing against his legs, indicating that she wanted food, that finally got him to put the book down.

When he arrived in the dining room he saw that Trudy had left a note saying that she'd stashed a plate in the kitchen for him. He'd been missing dinner more and more frequently, which she did not approve of, but seeing as she didn't want him to starve she'd taken to leaving notes for him every time he missed a meal, telling him she'd saved a plate for him. It was a bit unnecessary seeing as he knew where she'd put the food she set aside for him, but it was, he knew, simply her way, and he appreciated the little messages. He really enjoyed living at the mansion in general truth be told. He felt, after several months of being there, that he wasn't really a guest anymore.

He'd grounded a routine, he knew the schedule, he felt comfortable wandering around the house, he knew everyone that worked there and he'd established solid relationships with most of them. Trudy cared about him, he got on well with Mokuba, and now even he and Kaiba were getting along. He'd thought that he couldn't get away from the mansion fast enough, but now that November 11—the day of the graduation and also probably one of his last days of living with the Kaiba brothers, was looming, he realized how much he wished he could stay.

He wandered down to the kitchen and popped a plastic-wrapped plate of lasagna into the microwave before re-filling Sewell's bowl which she hungrily set upon. He absentmindedly sat down next to her on the floor and stroked her back while she ate, trying to think of the best way to confront Kaiba.

He personally had no interest in entering the tournament; dueling wasn't a passion of his; he had simply taken it up as a means of defeating Kaiba, but the former, as Trudy had pointed out, was really invested in the game, both monetarily and mentally. It wasn't like him at all to merely watch from the sidelines when he could be the center of attention.

While he was still contemplating the matter, his pocket started vibrating, startling him; he wasn't used to having a cell phone again yet. He pulled the phone out and glanced at the name attached to the text he'd received: Darren.

After his disastrous first weekend of hardcore partying, Alistair had returned to the diner to seek out Darren whom he at least had gotten along with even if he wasn't interested in fooling around with him again. Darren had seemed pleased to see him and had offered to introduce him to his group of friends.

All in all Alistair got along with them even though sometimes they could be a bit vapid.

After being introduced, Alistair was content to listen, at least at first, but when the talk turned to the conflict still raging in his own country, he had decided to speak up, annoyed by the casual way they discussed what the government should do to intervene, if anything.

"It's all fine and good to talk about something like that from the comfort of a country that isn't at war," he'd spoken up, silencing Darren and Britney, the main participants in the conversation. "But if you had to live through it, I assure you that you wouldn't talk about it so casually. That's _my_ country you're talking about." The pronouncement shocked everyone.

"I didn't know that," Darren had murmured. "I'm sorry."

"Yeah, sorry," everyone else echoed him.

"It's alright, you didn't know. And maybe I shouldn't be so touchy about it. But at the same time, it's really obnoxious to hear you guys talking about it while you're drinking coffee and eating cake while the people I left back there are starving, that's all." He'd lowered his eyes. He usually didn't talk about his homeland. He hadn't been back since Dartz had shown up and taken him away, but he still felt very attached to it and hoped to return some day to help rebuild, or even to fight if the opportunity arose.

"Do you have family there still?" Britney had asked tentatively. The question was very personal and he was a little offended that she'd had the nerve to ask, but he swallowed it.

"No," he'd answered simply and she hadn't pressed the issue.

After that the conversation had become much more neutral in nature, centering around Kaiba Corp's rumored upcoming tournament and whether or not they thought Yugi would compete after having already won the last several major Duel Monster's competitions.

Looking down at his cell phone, Alistair debated whether or not to accept Darren's invitation to go out with them to some free concert that night. On the one hand it would certainly be fun. Apart from that one awkward conversation, he and Darren and his friends had gotten on quite well. But on the other hand he really did want to talk to Kaiba.

He made up his mind and texted Darren back, saying that he couldn't because he had to help a friend out with something. Referring to Kaiba as a friend, even just as part of an excuse, felt strange to him, although in a manner of speaking he supposed they had in a twisted sort of way befriended each other.

Slipping the cell phone back into his pocket, Alistair stood up, intending to go down to the pool and swim for a little while. He'd taken the leaf from Kaiba's book, and found swimming to be a great way to stay in shape while at the same time being quite a relaxing activity.

Sewell trotted after him, but as soon as the smell of chlorine hit her noise, she recoiled, mewing pathetically. She couldn't force herself to go any further, knowing after making the mistake once of following him and subsequently falling into the pool, that the smell was nothing good, but she didn't want him to abandon her.

"Sorry Sewell," he apologized, pausing to reach down and scratch behind her ears. "But I want to go swimming." He gave her one more affectionate pat before walking into the pool's anti-chamber. Outside, Sewell commenced to yowl mournfully, convinced that he would never come back and eventually tiring herself out, stretching out on the floor and falling asleep.

Alistair pulled his clothes off, folding his T-shirt and pants, and proceeding to walk to the water's edge. He stared at his reflection momentarily. Gone were the dark rings under his eyes that he'd thought for sure would be permanent. He still had nightmares almost every night, but because he was healthier, less wound, and had lost the malice that had eaten away at his psyche ever since Dartz had convinced him to hate Kaiba; his sleep was deeper and more restful.

He flexed an arm, happy to see that his muscles were still solid, before diving into the pool. He swam a full lap to warm up, then dove down and turned a flip underwater, relishing in the feeling of being weightless. He would miss being able to go swimming whenever he wanted once he moved out.

He swam back to the surface and merely floated on his back, thinking about what life after this might be like. He'd get an apartment, probably with some kind of down-payment made by Kaiba, then start working. If he didn't want to work for Kaiba Corp he knew he had better start looking for something else, yet something was stopping him. Deep down he knew the answer, though he was loathe to admit it. Admitting, even just to himself, that this had come to feel like home would be the equivalent of turning his back on his real family: his father, his mom, and Mikey. But he had come to care about the people here: Mokuba, Trudy, Alfred, Saito, Roland, even Kanzo (_and Kaiba_). _No_, he mentally shook himself. _Not him_.

Seto tiredly stared at his computer screen, trying to suppress a yawn. He'd been staying at Kaiba Corp even later than usual lately, working himself into the ground on the logistics for the Grand Championship Tournament and it was starting to catch up to him. He was trying to work out a deal on a building permit for the land he was planning on using for the arenas, but had run up against a green group that were gumming up the works, claiming that setting up an arena that would only be used temporarily was bad for the environment or some other nonsense that he simply didn't have time for; he had a company to put back on track.

He'd been in meetings all day with lawyers for both sides, trying to hash out a bargain and now he was utterly drained. He knew that in the end it would come down to paying a few people off and he wished they could get on with it already so that he could start working on designing the stadium. Still, despite all the trouble he was feeling quite good about the whole thing. Business was something he knew how to deal with, how to manipulate and control. Mokuba was not a company that he could bend to his will, and upon further reflection he was grateful for that, but at the same time it was unsettling just how much his brother had suddenly grown up.

He reached for the Duel Monster's card shaped locket hanging around his neck and opened it to reveal a picture of Mokuba's smiling five year old face. Seto found the corners of his own mouth curving upwards even though the expression in his eyes was quite sad. Perhaps it was time to change the photo to reflect the young man that Mokuba had become. He clicked the locket shut again and squeezed it slightly before letting it fall back against his chest and returning to work.

When he heard the familiar sound of Kaiba's car tires on the driveway, Alistair sat up, dislodging Sewell who hissed reproachfully, still hurt that he'd left her earlier. He picked her up and rubbed her head until she started purring before gently setting her on the couch as he stood up. She stared at him with her large yellow eyes when suddenly she became distracted by her own tail and started batting at it furiously. Laughing, Alistair left the room, closing the door carefully behind him.

He had no intention of trying to talk to Kaiba until after he'd swum his laps and worked off any work related stress, but ever since he'd caught him cutting himself, Alistair had taken to making sure the CEO wouldn't do it again by keeping an eye on him in the night. Objectively he knew how very creepy it was to be spying on the man, but since spying on Kaiba wasn't exactly a new thing for him, he was able to justify it by reminding himself that it was for Kaiba's own good.

He padded down the hallway and carefully peeked around the corner in time to catch a glimpse of Kaiba slipping into his bedroom to drop his jacket off. He listened carefully for the sound of Kaiba opening the door again. The minutes stretched on and Alistair started to feel uneasy. With his back flat against the wall, he edged closer to the closed door, very aware that if Kaiba chose this moment to exit he'd be busted with no believable excuse for why he was there. He strained his ears but heard absolutely nothing.

Unbeknownst to Alistair, Seto was standing on the other side of the door doing the exact same thing. He was fairly certain that the person stalking him was Alistair, but he couldn't be too careful. Besides, even if it was Alistair, who was to say that he hadn't snapped and decided to kill him after all?

After seven very tense minutes, Alistair decided to open the door. The light was on, but he hadn't heard anything since Kaiba had closed the door behind him. Something was wrong. His inclination was to whip the door open, but he decided it might be better to tip it slowly in case Kaiba had merely fallen asleep out of exhaustion. He turned the knob. No sooner had he done so, the door crashed open and he found himself falling backwards having been shoved by none other than Kaiba. His head cracked against the wall behind him and Kaiba pulled his arm behind him to the point that if he tried to move it would surely break.

"What the hell, Alistair?" Seto demanded, more out of exasperation than anything else, letting the redhead go. Alistair hadn't been armed which led him to believe he wasn't intending to harm him.

Alistair started to rub the feeling back into his right arm, too surprised to react.

"I said: what the hell Alistair," Seto repeated, prodding Alistair in the leg with his foot, hoping to elicit some kind of response, his arms crossed. Alistair blinked and focused on Kaiba's face.

"I was just making sure you were ok," he answered stupidly, realizing how strange that sounded. Seto narrowed his eyes, though his curiosity was piqued.

"Explain yourself." Alistair hauled himself to his feet, though his head still felt light from having banged against the wall.

"Trudy told me that you aren't going to enter the Grand Championship tournament. That didn't seem like you so I thought I'd make sure that you were ok."

"Oh, Alistair, I didn't know you cared," Seto cooed sarcastically. His expression hardened. "I can take care of myself; I've been doing it for years; I don't need anyone to do it for me, especially not you; someone who can't even take care of himself." He scowled. "Go back to your room and read your books Alistair. Leave me alone."

"If you keep pushing people away you'll regret it." Seto rolled his eyes.

"Spare me. I get enough friendship speeches from Yugi and the Geek Squad as it is. I'm exhausted, I have to get up at the crack of dawn to go plan the biggest tournament that's ever been thrown, I have to deal with some tree-hugging organization in order to make that happen, and on top of that I'll probably end up having to go visit Pegasus on his stupid island to convince him to be a sponsor. I don't have time to deal with you!"

"You need to get laid Kaiba, maybe then you wouldn't be so uptight." Alistair had no idea where the remark came from, but it had the desired effect. Seto's eyes widened and he felt both affronted and uncomfortable. Alistair took the opportunity to slink off.

On the way back to his room Alistair chastised himself for being stupid enough to try to assist Kaiba. Had he expected the man to be appreciative? That'd be the day. But in all honesty, Kaiba's reaction wasn't really all that unexpected; he'd known there was a good chance he'd get yelled at for trying to be helpful, yet he'd gone anyway. Why? He knew of his own personality that he prioritized helping people, but going out of his way to protect Kaiba from himself felt different than that. It felt personal, and the thought freaked him out. Somewhere along the line Alistair had gone from despising Kaiba, to lusting after him, to caring about him.

As he settled in next to a purring Sewell, he tried to unravel when his feelings towards Kaiba had changed. It proved impossible. All he knew is that when he'd woken up in the hospital he'd wanted nothing more than to ring the tall brunette's neck and now…

* * *

**Author's Note: **This comes from nothing other than my own interpretation of Alistair's character, but I am fairly certain that it makes sense for him to fall for Seto long before Seto would fall for him. Alistair has had Seto on his mind for quite a long time whereas Alistair only ever came onto Seto's radar relatively recently. Besides even just that, Alistair's personality is much more passionate and his emotions run much hotter than Seto's.


	14. Business Dating

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh! *brb, sobbing*

* * *

_"In a crazy, crazy world like this it's easy to feel all alone, it's easy to fear the unknown."_

_~In a Crazy World Like This, _Pat Benatar

**Chapter 14**

Seto tossed and turned all night, his weakened mental defenses leaving him vulnerable to dreams featuring his step-father. In this particular sequence of dreams, Gozaburo himself hardly ever appeared, it was merely his aura permeating Seto's subconscious. But even that was enough to be disturbing.

When he awoke he couldn't quite shake the feelings of distress his dreams had left him with. In most of them he'd been running through the house, trying to escape from Gozaburo who he knew was right behind him; he could hear his laughter.

Deeply unsettled, Seto got out of bed and peeled off his sweat-soaked pajamas, tossing them in the hamper by the door before stepping into the bathroom to shower.

Once under the steaming water, Seto pressed his forehead against the tiled wall, already mentally worn out. Inexplicably, Alistair's face popped into his mind and his voice rang in his ears: "_I just wanted to make sure you were ok._"

_ Well I'm not_, Seto thought to himself. _I'm not ok. I'm anything but ok_. He unconsciously ran his fingertips over the several raised scars on his wrist. While the older wounds were barely noticeable, the newest cut was still scabbed over.

_Why don't you let people see the good in you?_ He'd had the distinct impression that his answer had not rung true to Alistair, in which case he would have been right. The deeper reason why Seto was very careful to be unlikeable was to keep other people at bay, people that would end up using him and leaving him, people that could hurt him. The only person he really trusted was Mokuba, and even that trust was starting to waver as he knew that Mokuba too would soon leave him.

_Why don't I deserve to be happy? Everyone else gets what they want, why can't I? Then again: what is it that I want?_

For the rest of his shower Seto pondered that question. Before his first duel with Yugi he'd thought that all he wanted out of life was power, then he'd become obsessed with ridding his mind of the poison that Gozaburo had riddled it with by throwing Battle City with the intent of destroying the last remaining piece of his step-father's weapons manufacturing empire as the _coup de gras_, but Yugi had robbed him of that victory and after Battle City he'd become lost. Technically, he'd faced the demon his step-father had become in the cyber world, but somehow that hadn't been enough; he still didn't feel like he'd shaken the man.

He'd hoped that opening Kaiba Land would make him feel _something_, after all: the theme park had been a childhood dream of his, but once the park was finished and he'd momentarily felt proud: nothing. There was still something that he was missing. He had money, more of it than he could ever hope to need, he had power, though that was no longer something he saw as worthy of chasing, he was both feared and respected, he had achieved more in just a few short years than most people achieved in their entire lifetime, but he wasn't happy.

As he got dressed fifteen minutes later, he contemplated, however unwillingly, the possibility that perhaps Yugi and Co. had a point about friendship, but the thought of having to be constantly surrounded by the likes of Joey Wheeler, Tristan Taylor, and Tea Gardner was so revolting that he hastily retracted the possibility. People did nothing but wear him out, and he couldn't imagine ever choosing to be around them when he could be on his own. Mokuba again, was the exception, although even he could be exhausting sometimes, and they weren't very similar beyond a shared interest in gaming.

_If you keep pushing people away you'll regret it_. Alistair was wrong. Well, not wrong, but naïve. Seto didn't know how to do anything _but_ push people away; something Alistair hadn't taken into account. For most of his life he hadn't even considered there being an alternative, but now that he was taking the possibility into account, he wondered both how to go about it, and also whether it would be worth it. Getting close to someone would most likely end badly, but if he couldn't even envision life after Mokuba anyway he didn't have much to lose.

That day after arriving at work, he sized up everyone he passed, searching for anyone potentially interesting. They all just looked like people to him, nothing special. He thought briefly about his secretary, Valarie, but immediately realized why getting involved with her in any capacity would be a bad idea: she was damn good at her job which was more than could be said of most of his other employees so he couldn't risk losing her.

_Well, there. I tried_, he thought as he sat down at his desk to read the newest files Roland had lain out for him, choosing to ignore the most obvious candidate for a friend.

Alistair spent the day at Darren's, hoping that he might be able to shed some light on his predicament. He lay on the sagging blue velvety couch in Darren and Britney's apartment while Darren lit up a cigarette and commenced to smoke. After several drags, he addressed the redheaded young man on his sofa.

"So what you're saying is that you're in love with the guy you don't even like?" he clarified after having listened to Alistair's stilted explanation.

"Of course not!" Alistair snapped quickly. "I'm not in love with him or anything crazy like that, I just sort of feel…dunno…like maybe he's not really that bad. Like I misunderstood him…"

"And I don't suppose any of these newfound revelations find their roots in the fact that you think he's hot, do they?" Alistair rolled his eyes.

"I'm not that shallow."

"Forgive me for being presumptuous. How could anyone who hooked up with you the first time they met you possibly be so delusional as to call you shallow?"

"Shut up. I wanted your advice, not your insults." Darren shrugged and put what was left of the cigarette out on an ashtray shaped like Kuriboh.

"Take it or leave it kid."

"Who are you calling a kid? You're only a couple of years older than me!" Darren laughed.

"The way you're carrying on about this mystery guy, you sound like a kid. Like me back in high school pining after all the douchebag bad boys."

"I'm not pining after him!"

"Bull. You just spent the last little bit making excuses for this guy treating you like crap. It sounds like you saved his life for Chrissake; you'd think he'd at least be grateful."

"He said thank you."

"There you go again defending him. He throws you one little bone and you snap it up. You do, you've got it bad."

"Got it bad?" Alistair said questioningly. "Never mind. He wasn't throwing me a bone, I think he's actually changed a bit since I first met him, or maybe he was always like that and I just didn't notice, I don't know. The point is that I can't get him out of my head and I'm starting not to care."

"That's what we young folk call a crush my friend. An irrational, unrequited crush. I feel for you, truly. But there's nothing you can do about it really except ride it out. You said yourself that you'll only be living together for a couple more weeks, right?" Alistair nodded glumly. "Then don't worry about it. Once you're out of there you'll be able to get over him."

"I don't think you get it: I won't be able to escape him just by moving. He's sort of…prevalent around here you know?"

"Prevalent is kind of a weird word to use about a person. So no, I'm not sure I know what you mean."

"I just mean that he's not the kind of person you can forget about if you live around here. In Domino I mean. Well, anywhere really."

"Wait, wait, hold up." Darren sat up, fully alert. "You're saying that this guy you're talking about is someone _famous_?" Alistair, realizing he'd said too much, tried to backtrack.

"That's not really important, I just—."

"Bullshit that's not important. Who is it? I always wondered why you never said what his name was."

"I can't tell you."

"Did he make you swear under legal oath?"

"Well, no, but I don't feel like I should…"

"Oh, dude, now you have to tell me!" Alistair nervously started cracking his knuckles, wishing he hadn't alluded to Kaiba's fame. If he told Darren now after having told him about Kaiba cutting himself and all sorts of other personal stuff, he'd feel like he was betraying Kaiba's trust even if he hadn't expressly told Alistair not to tell anyone.

"No, I can't. Not after everything I've told you about him."

"If you won't tell me I'll have to guess."

"Go ahead, I'm still not telling you."

"Fair enough; I bet you I'll still be able to tell if I'm right. Hmm…someone famous…Is he an actor?"

"I told you that I'm not going to tell you."

"Ok, not an actor then. A singer?" He looked into Alistair's face.

"No."

"Ok…hmm…a model?"

"No."

"A duelist?"

"No."

"Liar!" Darren said triumphantly. "It's written all over your face! Who?"

"He's not a duelist," Alistair denied weakly, sitting up.

"Yeah, right. A duelist…Not Yugi?"

"Darren, I'm not telling you one way or the other. Matter of fact, I'm leaving."

"Not Yugi…Kaiba?" The guess was a total shot in the dark, but as soon as the name left his mouth the look on Alistair's face told him all he needed to know even when Alistair denied it.

"No," Alistair said, retrieving his jacket from the hook by the door and preparing to leave. "And I've had enough of this game. Bye Darren."

"Wait, don't think you're getting away without spilling!" With unexpected agility, Darren leapt across the apartment and blocked the door.

"Darren, don't make me take you out," Alistair warned him.

"You've been screwing around with _Seto Kaiba_? _The_ Seto Kaiba? CEO of Kaiba Corp and Duel Monsters champion Seto Kaiba?"

"No!"

"You _have_! Holy shit!"

"You cannot tell _anyone_," Alistair said, conceding defeat and putting his coat back on the hook.

"I won't, I swear," Darren promised. "_If_ you sit down and tell me absolutely everything."

"I've told you practically everything already," Alistair protested, nonetheless allowing himself to be steered back to the couch.

A half an hour later Darren let up on the interrogation.

"I swear: if I hadn't seen the look on your face I wouldn't believe you. Seto Kaiba; who'dve thought? And you're living with him. You have got to be about the luckiest sonofabitch I have ever met."

"It's not like I'm taking advantage of him," Alistair sniffed, choosing to leave out the part about Kaiba getting him his license.

"Why the hell not? If it were me I'd be going on shopping sprees and lounging around eating caviar and drinking red wine spritzers."

"That's terrible. I'd never do something like that."

"I know. You're a way better person than I am, obviously." Darren shrugged and ran a hand through his dark hair, then started laughing.

"What's so funny?"

"I can't; you'd never tell me."

"What?" Alistair pressed naively.

"Is the Kaiba Corp skyscraper a way to overcompensate?" Alistair stared at him blankly.

"For what?"

"Oh, never mind, you guys never did it, did you? So you wouldn't know anyway…Or do you?"

"I never saw his dick if that's what you're wondering." Alistair felt his face growing hot at the very thought. Darren looked disappointed.

"I still can't believe that you've been hooking up with Seto Kaiba of all people. You're a lucky bastard, you realize that? Do you have any idea how many people wish they could be in your shoes right now, myself included?"

"Because he's rich?"

"And because he's _hot_. You're good-looking, don't get me wrong, but Seto Kaiba, arrogant prick that he is, is on that next level."

"You sound like a teenage girl," Alistair commented dryly.

"Sorry, it's not every day that a friend of mine reveals that he's been living with Seto Kaiba, I'm not sure what the proper etiquette for that is yet."

"Oh shut up."

"Hey wait a minute; so that means that Kaiba was the one who…" He mimed cutting his own wrist. "What does _he_ have to be depressed about?"

"Just because he has a lot of money doesn't mean he's happy." As soon as he said it, he realized just how much his attitude towards Kaiba had changed. Back at the beginning, he'd more or less said the same thing.

"Look at you defending your boyfriend." Darren reached out and ruffled Alistair's hair fondly. Alistair swatted his hand away, still put off by people touching him unnecessarily.

"Just…seriously Darren, don't tell anyone," Alistair pleaded.

"Not even Britney?"

"_No one_." Darren could tell by the seriousness in his friend's voice that he meant it, and resolved to do his best to keep the secret. Personally he didn't care for closet cases, but he also knew that Seto Kaiba was running with a very conservative crowd who might revoke their financial support if they knew. He was by no means a fan of capitalism or even necessarily of all of Kaiba Corp's practices, but wasn't about to purposefully out the CEO.

"I really should get going," Alistair said, bringing Darren out of his reverie and standing up to leave for a second time.

"Alright, fair enough. I should try to get some work done. But before you go, I got one last question." He smiled slyly.

"What?" Alistair asked suspiciously.

"Humor me: is Kaiba a top or a bottom?"

"How should _I_ know?"

"Hmmm…let's think."

"I've never slept with him, you know that."

"Right, but you can make a more educated guess than anyone else I know. Go on, help fuel my unhealthy fantasies."

"You fantasize about Kaiba?"

"Who doesn't?" Alistair was taken aback. Certainly he knew that Kaiba was popular in dueling circles, and that he was even viewed as a celebrity, but it had never occurred to him that Kaiba was also seen as a sort of a sex symbol. He wondered if Kaiba knew that himself.

"If I had to guess I'd assume that he at least thinks of himself as a top," he answered slowly and fairly. Darren nodded as though that made perfect sense.

"Ok, now you're free to go."

"Gee, thanks."

On the ride back to the mansion (_home_), he mentally beat himself up for gossiping with Darren about Kaiba like some suburban housewife. What right did he have to disclose all of Kaiba's secrets? It was a direct betrayal of the trust he felt he had finally begun to earn and it made him feel slimy.

"Don't get me wrong Mokuba," Seto said quickly after asking for his little brother's advice; something he'd never done before. "I'm not saying that I want a girlfriend or something ludicrous like that." On the other end of the phone, Mokuba was performing a small victory dance. Finally, his brother was showing an interest in girls. He couldn't help but feel proud.

"No, of course not," Mokuba replied in a very businesslike way, knowing his brother couldn't see his grin. "You're just saying that you might want to, if the right circumstances come along, interact with a girl that isn't stupid."

"Right." Mokuba decided to throw caution to the wind.

"Trudy knows somebody. A niece of one of her friends or something. Apparently she's studying programming at the university." He held his breath while Seto contemplated the offer.

A girl studying programming was certainly a good place to start. At least then they'd be able to talk about computers, although he doubted that her knowledge of the subject was on par with his. Still, as long as she wasn't completely dull he might get something out of it. He checked his calendar.

"Tell Trudy that I can meet with this girl on Tuesday from one to two-thirty."

"Um, ok," Mokuba agreed, deciding not to point out to his brother that it was a date he was setting up, not a meeting.

Once off the phone with Seto, Mokuba practically sprinted down to the kitchen to find Trudy.

"Trudy!" he called from halfway down the stairs. "Guess what?"

"Mokuba, you know better than to run amuck like some wild animal," Trudy scolded him, looking up from the dishwasher she was loading. "What is it?"

"Seto wants you to set up a date with Momo," he explained excitedly.

"What? You told him?"

"He says he has time on Tuesday from one to two-thirty. Can you get her here?"

"Well I…I'll have to call. He actually asked me to do this, this isn't some scheme of yours?"

"No, I swear. He called me to ask about girlfriends and stuff and I mentioned that you knew someone he might be interested in and he told me to ask you about it."

"If you promise that you're not pulling the wool over my eyes, I'll call Pearl and ask about it."

"I promise." His cell phone vibrated. "Oh, speaking of girlfriends…" And then he was off again, typing into his phone as he jogged back up the stairs. Trudy shook her head. What on earth was getting into everyone?

Mokuba ran into Alistair who was just getting back on his way to his room.

"Hey Alistair!"

"Hey Mokuba, what's up?"

"Seto's going on a date!"

"_What_?" Alistair hoped his resentment didn't show on his face.

"Didn't Trudy tell you about Momo?"

"Oh, her. Yeah. Wait, he agreed to this?"

"Surprisingly. He actually called me to ask about it. I've never heard him sound even remotely interested in dating before. I'm not sure what got into him, but I'm glad. I was worried about him a little."

"When's she coming?" Mokuba was startled by the aggressive way Alistair asked the question.

"Maybe on Tuesday. But I'm not sure if she'd come here, or if they'd meet somewhere or what. I'm just hoping they hit it off. Then the only person left who'd need a girl—er…boyfriend, would be you."

"How likely is it that Kaiba will even like this Momo girl though?" Mokuba shrugged.

"No idea. They both like computers, that's a good start. And Trudy says that she's really pretty."

"This is your brother we're talking about here. There's no way he'd go for being in a relationship when he's got so much on his plate already. Besides, he's married to Kaiba Corp."

"Way to be optimistic. Where have you been all day anyway? You're hardly ever here anymore."

"I'm here more often than you," Alistair scoffed. "I was at a friend's house."

"You have friends?" Mokuba hadn't meant to sound so surprised, but it was the first he was hearing about the redhead having a social life.

"Yeah. They go to the university. That's who I've been going out with mostly if I'm not just out riding."

"Oh. Speaking of friends, could you possibly keep a secret?" Mokuba asked conspiratorially.

"That depends," he replied honestly.

"I want to invite Hilary over again."

"So? That's not some big secret."

"No, I mean, I want to have her spend the night here." Alistair raised his eyebrows.

"Aren't you a little young for all that?"

"We're not going to have sex!" Mokuba protested, his cheeks burning.

"Then why all the secrecy?"

"Because that's exactly what Seto would think we were going to do."

"And what are you actually going to do?"

"Watch movies, play games, you know." Alistair, not so ignorant on the subject anymore, knew perfectly well what 'you know' in this context meant.

"Look, it's your thing. I won't burst your bubble or whatever, but I'm not supporting this endeavor either. That being said," he reached into one of the pockets in his jacket, pulled out one of three condoms that he'd acquired in the last few weeks, and tossed it to the fourteen year old who caught it, looking extremely embarrassed. "Here's a tip: if you're that uncomfortable just holding it, you probably shouldn't be using it."

"Like you're some huge expert," Mokuba mumbled, tucking the packaged condom into his pocket.

"I've got more experience than you anyway," Alistair said sagely. "And you'd be better off listening to me than not."

"Yeah, alright. Wait, so you're saying that you've done it then?"

"That," Alistair said firmly, "is none of your business."

"Well thanks for the…you know. And for promising not to say anything. If Seto found out he'd probably kill me."

"Why would he even do, ground you?" Alistair asked curiously. "It's not like he's that much older than you; I don't know why you're so scared of him."

"I'm not _scared_ of him; I just don't like being on his bad side. You've fought with him before, you know why." Alistair shrugged a shoulder.

"I'm not worried about Kaiba's bad side. I've survived a couple of encounters now; I can take him." Mokuba laughed.

"Fair enough. I'll catch you later! Unless you wanted to play a couple of rounds with me." He looked hopeful.

"Yeah, alright."

As Tuesday afternoon loomed ahead of him, Seto was starting to really regret having agreed to meeting this girl, Momo. He chalked it up to a moment of weakness, much like taking Alistair in.

He left a finalized and signed copy of the building permit with Valarie for Roland to pick up and send to the construction company, having finally sorted out the neigh-sayers from the green organization the previous afternoon.

As he drove home through the lunch hour rush, he wondered what he was even going to say to the faceless girl Trudy had been gushing about all weekend. Based on his housekeeper's description of the 'nice girl', he was imagining a bespectacled, mousy, timid woman who was interested in saving the planet and who probably owned a few cats. As it turned out, they arrived at the estate at almost the exact same time. He in his sleek sports car, she in a seemingly nondescript silver car that he happened to know was quite expensive. She rolled down her window, and he did the same.

"Should I leave the car here, or pull around and park?" asked a dark brown haired young woman with a lightly made-up face and light pink lip-gloss.

"Leave it here; Saito will take care of it." She gave him a thumbs up, and stopped the car. After Saito had taken both hers and Seto's keys and prepared to drive the car around before coming back for his boss's, Seto and Momo were able to greet each other properly.

"I'm Momo Tojikamuri," Momo introduced herself.

"Seto Kaiba," Seto replied, shaking her outstretched manicured hand. So far he had to admit that he was impressed by her poise, but of course the real test would be in the conversation.

He walked her through the atrium to a sitting room that boasted huge glass windows overlooking the grounds and black leather furniture and an ornate mahogany coffee table.

"Please, have a seat," he offered, taking the armchair closer to the windows. "My housekeeper should be here shortly to bring tea I have no doubt." She sat across from him and smiled politely.

"Thank you. This is quite the place you've got here," she commented, looking around. "I like the black and white color scheme; classy."

"The design was my step-father's," Seto explained in a bored voice, not interested in discussing the décor and most definitely regretting the whole date set-up.

Trudy entered the living room shortly thereafter with a spring to her step. She was very excited on Seto's behalf that he was finally opening up to the idea of a girlfriend.

"Hello Trudy!" Momo greeted her, standing up momentarily to give the older woman a hug and offering Seto a few of her curvaceous backside which was perfectly outlined by her tight navy blue skirt. The skirt reminded him of the Valentine woman whom he'd never found particularly appealing.

"You look lovely Momo, as always. What can I get you kids to drink?" Seto raised an eyebrow at her use of the word 'kids' as though he wasn't turning twenty in a week.

"I'll have a coffee. Black," he said brusquely.

"Oh, um…I wouldn't mind a tea."

"Wouldn't you rather have a nice cup of tea Seto? So much coffee isn't good for you, you know."

"Coffee Trudy. Black." She tutted but eventually left to go get the drinks. Momo was slightly put off by the way Seto had treated the woman who was always so kind to her and her aunt, but understood that she was his employee and that their relationship would therefore be different.

"Trudy tells me that you're studying programming," Seto said finally.

"That's right. I'm in my third year."

"What kind of programming?"

"As a student we have to be well grounded in everything, but I prefer graphics. I actually interned for Kaiba Corp during the Battle City Tournament. It was really cool; I got to help out the graphics team." She had Seto's full attention now. He knew, of course, that the graphics division had been recruiting interns from the university for the last few years but he had never personally had much to do with it.

"Really? What did you think?"

"Everyone was terrified that you'd stop by to be honest," she said, laughing slightly. "They were all scared of you."

"Then I must be doing something right," he replied, gracing her with a rather uncharacteristic half-smile.

By the end of the lunch date Seto had come to actually like the girl despite having thought that she'd be air-headed and boring. As he walked her to the door he told her to give a copy of her resume and portfolio to Trudy and promised to look it over personally, though based on their conversation he was already almost certain that he wanted to hire her.

"Well?" Trudy asked, one part excited, one part impatient, as soon as Momo's car had pulled out of the driveway. "Did you like her?"

"Yes, very much. I think she'll be a great asset." Trudy's face fell.

"Come again?"

"She'll be dropping her resume and portfolio off with you. I want to look them over, but then I think I'll offer her a job. It's about time for some fresh blood in the graphics division if I want KC to stay on top."

"Hire her? What about date her?"

"I don't have time."

"But you would if you did?"

"Not a chance."

"But why? She's beautiful, she's smart, she likes computers; what's the problem?"

"Kaiba doesn't need a _girl_ holding him back; he's got a company to run," a snide voice said from the stairwell. Normally such a sarcastic comment would have elicited a return insult, but Seto was fine with Alistair taking the spotlight off of him. Trudy threw her hands up in defeat and walked back towards the kitchen muttering about insufferable young people and their misplaced priorities.

"So how'd the date go?"

"Shut up Alistair." But there was no real malice behind his words.

"That good, huh? Was she able to melt that icy heart of yours with her sunny smile?" Alistair, for his part, was practically giddy over Kaiba's disinterest in such an attractive girl.

"I said shut up. Don't make me say it again."

"Or what? What are you gonna do Kaiba, hit me? Bring it on."

"Go find someone else to bother," Seto said sourly, walking briskly towards the back of the house to the door that would allow him access to the garage. He wanted to get back to Kaiba Corp to check on the status of the construction company. He was in no mood for Alistair's taunting, though he couldn't help but wonder what the man had been doing there in the first place; according to Trudy he usually went out to meet up with friends for lunch. Strange. It was almost as though he'd stayed merely to see the outcome of his lunch date with Momo Tojikamuri and make a point to harass him about it. Once on the road, he put the matter to the back of his mind, though he could feel the hint of a spark in his stomach that he did his best to ignore.

For the better part of the evening, Alistair tried to sort out his feelings about Kaiba, wanting to know how much of his infatuation was physical and how much was emotional and why. Kaiba was certainly attractive, there was no denying that, but there were lots of attractive guys in the world, and he himself had rolled around in the sack with a few of them, so he didn't think that was the main reason he'd come to see Kaiba as he did.

There was the obvious point that he'd spent the last five and a half years of his life obsessing over him. True, that had been out of spite, but nonetheless the brunette had been on his mind twenty-four/seven. This long-term obsession was, he was sure, part of it; it couldn't not be. But the majority of it, he decided, was something else entirely, something he couldn't quite put his finger on. What was it about Kaiba that had caused him to feel like this?

* * *

**Author's note: **slowly but surely we're getting there. At least 'Kaiba Boy's' starting to realize that friendship and companionship aren't necessarily undesirable things, but he's still got a long way to go. If this were a race Alistair would certainly be winning, which I'm sure Seto wouldn't be all to happy about...

That being said, and without giving anything away, I'm just going to mention that the next chapter is going to be the breaking point. ;)


	15. The Last One to Cry

**Disclaimer: **I do not and never did own Yu-Gi-Oh!

* * *

_"I wanna cry because I'm blue_

_But I can't cry like others do_

_I'd feel much better and I'd try_

_Somebody, teach me how to cry_

_~Teach Me How to Cry, _Ella Fitzgerald

**Chapter 15**

Seto was starting to become distracted at work again and it couldn't have happened at a more inopportune moment. Though the tournament preparations were running smoothly, he was now facing a lawsuit over a worker who had gotten hurt on one of the rides at Kaiba Land. Kaiba Corp had faced its share of lawsuits over the years both under his step-father and him, and they had barely caused a hiccup in the company's workings, but this had come at a time when stock was still dangerously low which made him nervous. With the public's faith in their virtual technology ebbing, the promise of Kaiba Land had been more or less keeping them afloat. The last thing he needed was for this story to cause a splash in the media which meant it had to be dealt with quickly which meant more meetings with more lawyers, more underhanded deals to smooth things over, and even more overtime for Seto.

Normally he only very reluctantly took time off of work, and then only for his brother's birthday or for dueling tournaments, or his own birthday, but only because Trudy insisted and he knew she'd only make a cake if he stayed home. This year however, he viewed the day off as the only light in a storm of stress, black coffee, and migraines.

"What does he do for his birthday usually?" Alistair asked Mokuba curiously as the two of them raced towards the finish line in one of Mokuba's games.

"Seto?" Mokuba asked, confused by the out of the blue question. "Nothing really. Trudy makes him a cake and we eat it and then he either sleeps all day or swims or reads something…dunno. Just relaxes basically, and sometimes we go out for dinner, why?"

"I was just curious." Alistair pulled ahead, just managing to beat Mokuba. While the victory music played he added: "so you don't get him anything?"

"Like a present?" Mokuba shook his head. "I haven't gotten him anything in years. Seto's way more about giving people stuff than getting stuff. I mean, there's nothing that we could get each other that we couldn't get for ourselves so it's sort of pointless."

"So he doesn't get you anything either?"

"Oh sure. Not a present though, usually it's a trip somewhere. Last year, even though he was really busy, he took a weekend off to take me to Maui. This year obviously we had to take care of Dartz and you guys so we didn't have time, but it wasn't a big deal or anything." He hesitated. "Did you and your brother celebrate your birthdays?" Alistair frowned. Mikey had never had a chance to have a real birthday and he himself had had only a few that he actually remembered.

"No, not really." Mokuba's eyebrows contracted in concern.

"When is your birthday Alistair?"

"November seventeenth," he answered absently.

"We'll definitely have to celebrate then," Mokuba said determinately. "Trudy will bake a cake, we'll have presents, it'll be fun!"

"I might not even be living here anymore by then. I get my license on the eleventh."

"No one's going to kick you out you know. It's not like you have to leave just because you have your license. Or did Seto say something about it?"

"Well…no, but I wouldn't want to overstay my welcome. Besides, once I have a job I should probably get my own place and start trying to be a productive member of society."

"Do you want to leave?" Mokuba tried his best not to let his dismay show on his face. He had become so accustomed to having Alistair around that he couldn't imagine him leaving. "Do you not like it here?"

"I…" Alistair was shocked to hear the sadness in Mokuba's voice. He hadn't realized that the kid had become so attached to him. "I do really like it here," he admitted. "It's not that…"

"Why do you have to leave then?"

"I'm freeloading here Mokuba, I don't like that."

"But you're going to have a job. If you really wanted to you could pay rent or something. You'll even be working for Kaiba Corp!"

"See that's the thing. I don't want to work for Kaiba Corp."

"Wait, what? Why?" Alistair couldn't think of a delicate way to explain.

"I may not be out for revenge or anything anymore, but I still don't like what Kaiba Corp stands for, I don't like your brother's business practices, and I'd rather work for someone whose cause I believe in." Mokuba's face fell.

"What do you mean my brother's business practices?" he asked, slightly defensively.

"Well, he pays people off for one thing. There was an environmental group that objected to him building the stadium for the Grand Championship tournament as a permanent structure when it would just sit there and fall into disrepair after the tournament was over and instead of realizing that they had a point and changing the design, he paid them off."

"Yeah, but think of it this way: obviously they weren't that dedicated or they wouldn't have let themselves be bought off, right?" Alistair goggled at him.

"How can you say that? Just because the people running the organization turned out to be corrupt doesn't mean they didn't have a valid point."

"I guess…" Mokuba looked uncertain.

"And then there's the matter of Kaiba Corp's business partners. You do realize that almost all the parts for your computer's, duel disks, arenas, etc. are made by people who get locked into factories and have to work over ten hour shifts, right?"

"Sort of." Mokuba looked uncomfortable. "But I mean, having a job, any job, is better than no job at all, right? And it's not like if we got our stuff from somewhere else those people would be getting more money or better hours."

"That's exactly it though. It's big companies like Kaiba Corp supporting that type of business practice financially if nothing else, that allows them to exist. If Kaiba Corp threatened to withdraw its support, that might actually get some changes made." Mokuba was starting to think that he was out of his depth. He'd never thought much about things like that except when Seto brought them up, and he'd always taken for granted that Seto knew what he was talking about, but what Alistair was saying was forcing him to question that.

"Look, I'm not saying that Kaiba is purposefully trying to screw people over, he's probably just never thought about it. A business is all about the numbers, and it's way cheaper to buy from providers who pay their workers fuck-all than to buy from a company that doesn't, so from his perspective, Kaiba's actually doing Kaiba Corp a great service."

"I don't know much about it to be honest…"

"You're the vice president," Alistair pointed out exasperatedly.

"I know, but I'm mostly in charge of management at Kaiba Land, not development or financing or anything like that."

"Still, don't you think you should know where KC is getting its equipment from?"

"Probably," Mokuba admitted, properly chastised.

"Sorry, I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just wanted you to understand why I don't want to work for your brother."

"What if you talked to him?" Mokuba asked hopefully. "Like you said: he probably doesn't know…" Alistair smiled kindly.

"I don't think your brother would want to talk about his policies with me."

"No, you're probably right…"

As he was talking Alistair realized the truth behind his own words. Much as he wished that he could stay at the mansion, and much as he was now coming to like Kaiba, it wouldn't make sense. He had no interest in working for him because his morals were as resolute as Kaiba's business practices and therefore he would feel weird about living at his house even if he paid rent, and he wasn't sure Kaiba would even let him.

He and Mokuba smiled sadly at each other for a moment before Mokuba sprung forward and hugged him.

"I really wish you didn't have to go," he whispered, choked up, squeezing tightly. Alistair tensed momentarily before softening and hugging Mokuba back.

"It's not like I'm going to go very far," he reasoned.

"You don't know that," Mokuba said pitifully, pulling back and wiping several tears off his face. "If you aren't working for my brother you'll have to find a job somewhere else and that might not even be in Domino."

"I like to think that if you really cared you'd come visit anyway seeing as money is no object," Alistair replied, trying to make Mokuba laugh. His words had the desired effect.

"That's true. But then make sure you move somewhere cool like New York or Bali."

"Deal." Though the truth was that Alistair was starting to seriously consider returning to his homeland at long last to help in the evacuation effort.

Given that he knew he wouldn't be sticking around much longer, Alistair internally vowed to make his last few weeks with the Kaibas count.

By the time the evening of the twenty-fourth, the day before Kaiba's birthday, rolled around, Alistair had decided to throw caution to the winds and jump Kaiba once he got home from work. Darren had been the mastermind behind the plan after Alistair confessed to him that he wanted closure to his relationship with the man he was living with before he left so that there would be no turning back, no regrets.

When he heard Kaiba pulling into the garage at around one-fifteen, he crept down the hall and leaned against the banister at the top of the side staircase to the garage so that Kaiba couldn't possibly miss him when he walked in the door.

Because he knew that he would be taking the next day off, Seto had worked even harder than usual if that was even humanely possible, and powered through three intimidating stacks of forms, talked to the heads of PR and marketing about how best to announce the invitations to the tournament, agreed to a settlement with the injured worker's family to effectively keep the matter out of court and out of the press, and then video-called Pegasus to confirm his endorsement. Of all the things he'd done that day, talking to Pegasus had ended up being the most exhausting because the man loved hearing himself talk and no matter how many insults Seto threw at him, he just laughed and called him 'Kaiba-boy.' He knew that Seto knew that he had every intention of being a sponsor; he just wanted to drag out the meeting to get under Seto's skin, and it worked. By the time the two CEOs hung up, Seto was about ready to put his fist through the screen. He absolutely loathed the purple-haired billionaire on all sorts of levels. Pegasus had crossed a line when he'd kidnapped Mokuba, and while Yugi and Co. seemed more than willing to forgive and forget, he would never forgive Pegasus for what he'd done.

He finally left KC headquarters at a little past midnight, too weary to fully register that he had been twenty years old for the last seven minutes.

He was bone-tired, but he couldn't stop his mind from racing; something he'd always struggled with, even as a child.

He thought about different aspects of his job and what he had left to do before the tournament started and felt a momentary pang of sadness that he wouldn't be dueling this time. Even though it pained him to abstain, he simply didn't have the time it would take to prepare properly, and if he were being honest, he'd have to admit that his decision had, in part, been the result of his waning confidence in his ability to take his title back from Yugi.

The kid had proven on more than one occasion that he was an expert duelist, but more than that, the thought of facing Yugi in a duel at this point did nothing but put him on edge. He couldn't help but feel like something always stood in the way of having a fair match against the other duelist. At Duelist Kingdom he'd been far too worried about Mokuba to play his best and as a result had been forced to resort to less than aboveboard measures in order to win, in the Battle City tournament he had been constantly distracted and harassed by the Ishtar woman and hadn't been able to plan properly for his duel and had had the added stress of hosting the tournament, and then there was the time when he'd challenged Yugi to a fair and square one-on-one match and had been on the cusp of winning when they had been interrupted by some freakshow with a score to settle with Yugi and some really hardcore firepower that had destroyed his duel dome.

Yes, Seto Kaiba, though he would never admit it, had all but given up on the prospect of defeating Yugi in a duel which, as far as he was concerned, was the end of his dueling career. He and Yugi were classes unto themselves with no one talented enough to beat either one of them in a fair match which meant that playing against anyone else would be pointless.

It was disappointing, but that was life. Sometimes it was good, sometimes it sucked. Either way, he supposed that without the distraction of dueling, he could fully focus on Kaiba Corp, though the thought brought him no pleasure.

After arriving home and parking his car, Seto paused momentarily to look out the window at the moon, something he did almost every night. Looking out at the night sky always put him in mind of the expression: _time and tide wait for no man_, a sentiment that he found simultaneously terrifying and freeing. Terrifying because it put into perspective just how insignificant he truly was, and freeing for the very same reason. Taking the moment of meditation was enough to calm Seto down and he was ready to fall into bed after swimming one or two laps.

He unlocked the door to the house and stepped through it, prepared to mount the stairs, take off his jacket, and make his way to the pool when a voice from the shadows scared the hell out of him, causing him to visibly jump.

"Welcome home."

"Alistair!" he growled, his heart still pounding. Somehow the redhead always managed to show up at moments where Seto had let his guard down.

"How does it feel to have left your teenage years behind you?"

"Did you lurk at the top of the stairs just to try and scare me and ask me _that_?" Seto snapped at the same time that the spark that always seemed to flare up whenever he was around Alistair fanned itself into a small flame.

"Of course not." Alistair, never one to mince words, descended the stairs and stopped mere inches from Seto's face, his lips curved into a half smile. Seto knew that at this point he had two options: punch Alistair, or kiss him. He chose the former, too tired to care about his decision to stay away.

As in the past, both men had far too much of a macho attitude to kiss with any kind of tenderness. Seto felt his back slam against the door as he and Alistair continued to heavily make-out, Alistair dragging his mouth along Seto's cologne-soaked neck.

Alistair slipped his hands up the front of Kaiba's black turtleneck after untucking it from his pants, his fingertips playing over the taught muscle of Kaiba's lower stomach. Seto shied away from the touch.

"Not here," he mumbled without looking into Alistair's face. He turned his back on the pilot and started to walk up the stairs. Intrigued, Alistair followed him to his bedroom, wondering vaguely if he was the first person Kaiba had ever invited there.

Kaiba's room turned out to look exactly as one would imagine it would. It was sterilely clean with not a thing out of place. The walls were white (no surprises there), there was a desktop computer embossed with the KC logo on a simple wooden desk in the corner alongside a picture of both Kaiba brothers that looked as though it had been taken at Kaiba Land and that was more or less it besides the bed. It was a four poster with red sheets and hangings.

"This isn't a museum," Seto pointed out as Alistair took a look around the room, idly shrugging off his jacket and placing it carefully over the back of his desk chair before starting to remove his gauntlets.

"Oh, then I must be in the wrong place," Alistair joked, grinning.

"You're a riot." Seto was starting to question his decision to bring Alistair here which was causing him to lash out out of uncertainty. Alistair sensed Seto's hesitation and decided to help him make a choice. He crossed the room and pressed his lips against Kaiba's, one hand cupping the other man's face, the other twining itself in his chestnut colored hair.

Seto, for his part, wavered before finally, very hesitantly, pulling Alistair closer, his hands coming to rest on Alistair's lower back.

Alistair could sense that something was different this time. The front that Kaiba usually had up, a front of indifference laced with smoldering anger, was absent. He didn't know if Kaiba was tired or what, but he liked the change; it made him seem less cold and snakelike and more human. He was also much more receptive to Alistair's advances, even going so far as to let Alistair pull his shirt over his head. It was at that point that Alistair realized that he wasn't feeling much of _anything_ from the other man. He stopped kissing Kaiba's neck long enough to look into his face.

"Are you ok?" he asked concernedly. Seto made a derisive sound in the back of his throat.

"I'm glad to know you care," he said sarcastically, though there wasn't much power behind it. Up close and under the fluorescent light, Alistair could see that Kaiba was completely drained. He looked like he hadn't slept for days and his skin had taken on the gray tinge than Alistair's had borne for so long.

"You look terrible." Seto was taken aback.

"Gee, thanks."

"No, I'm serious; you look really tired…"

"What are you, my mother?" He wrenched himself out of Alistair's arms and pointed to the door. "If we aren't going to do this than leave."

"Am I not allowed to be worried about you?"

"You tried to run my plane into a mountain to have me killed, so no, you aren't allowed to 'be worried' about me."

"If you keep going how you're going you won't need my help; you'll kill yourself one way or another."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Seto snapped defensively, protectively covering the scars on his left wrist with his hand.

"You can't tell me that you haven't heard of people working themselves to death when from what I can tell you're a top contender."

"Why do you even care? I'm just a heartless rich kid with a bad work ethic, isn't that right? Mokuba told me about that. Think whatever you want, that's irrelevant to me. But then why pretend that you care? " Seto made the remark contemptuously, but Alistair could see the genuine uncertainty and even maybe a glimmer of hope on his face.

"I'm not pretending anything. I don't like the way you do business, and that's no secret, but that doesn't mean I don't care about you as a person."

"Why?" Seto asked flatly. "I thought you hated me."

"I did. And there are still some things about you that I really don't like, but you're a good person. Once I realized that I couldn't hate you anymore. You've saved my ass too many times for me to ignore."

"So what, you're returning the favor? Don't bother. I'm not some damsel in distress; you can't save me."

"Why can't you just accept my help? Anybody's help? It's not weak, Kaiba. I know you've been brainwashed to think that but you're _wrong_. Do you think I'm weak for letting you help me?" Seto regarded the man standing in front of him. He thought about how pathetic he looked when he was trapped inside his own head, how he had cried over the memory of his dead brother. But then he couldn't help but remember the determination on Alistair's face when they'd dueled, or the defiant way he verbally battled, how he had refused to let himself be intimidated by him. The man had resided in a warzone and lived. Far from being weak, he was a survivor. He was strong.

"No."

"Then let me help you. Not as a favor, as a friend."

"I don't need friends." Seto's tone was almost wistful.

"Why, because you're afraid of getting hurt? What could I possibly do to hurt you? You're invincible, remember? You're Seto Kaiba."

"I know my name, thanks," Seto snarled, his temper flaring up momentarily.

"Kaiba—," Alistair started.

"_Don't_," Seto's eyes flashed dangerously, "call me that." Normally being addressed by his surname didn't bother him, but every time Alistair said it, it did nothing but make him think that it wasn't him that Alistair saw standing there, but his step-father, which was something that he found he couldn't tolerate.

Alistair was at a loss.

"Ok, I won't. But listen to me: I'm not trying to 'rescue you', I don't think you need to be rescued; I just wish that you would realize your own self worth."

"You're one to talk."

"I haven't done anything worthy of being proud of, not really."

"I thought you despised my company."

"I wasn't talking about Kaiba Corp," Alistair scoffed. "I was talking about Mokuba. Even though you've been awfully overbearing, you obviously did something right because he's one of the kindest people I've ever met. The fact that you singlehandedly raised him when you were still a kid yourself is pretty damn impressive. And from what I've heard, Mokuba isn't the only person you've helped out."

"And your point is? Look, I don't need self-esteem lessons from someone who wanted to jump out of an airplane."

"What is your problem?" Alistair snapped. "I warned you that if you kept pushing people away you'd regret it."

"Is that a threat?" Seto asked, crossing his arms over his bare chest.

"Kind of."

"What are you going to do? Leave? Go ahead. Oh wait, you might want to stick around until you get your license even though you're not even going to work for me." Alistair didn't rise to the bait.

"I told you that I wasn't going to kowtow to you like your subordinates and I meant it. You might be able to scare them and even Yugi and his friends off, but not me." He copied Seto's pose; arms crossed, eyes shining determinedly. Seto's eyes widened in surprise.

"Not everyone is out to get you. I know that I'm 'one to talk' as you say, and I know that I have my issues, but I'm also stubborn, as you've seen, and I'm not going to let you shake me that easily."

Seto would have been put off by how friendship speech-y what Alistair was saying was, but the difference was that when Alistair said it he believed him, he had to. Yugi and his friends had no idea who he was, but Alistair knew. Even though he'd seen Seto at his worst, at his weakest, he was still saying he wouldn't abandon him.

Since his parents' death Seto hadn't come close to trusting someone, hadn't even wanted to try, but seeing the look on Alistair's face caused an unexpected warmth in his chest telling him to believe that what he said was true.

Alistair wisely chose to remain silent and merely bear witness to Kaiba's revelation. Once Kaiba stopped looking stunned he started to laugh. Alistair was too startled to be alarmed at first, but as Kaiba continued to laugh manically he started to think that he'd cracked.

"Are you alright?" he asked tentatively.

"Of course I'm not alright," Seto said between laughs. "The person who was out to kill me is telling me to trust him and giving me life advice and I believe him. It's ridiculous! Ludicrous! Crazy! It's…it's…" He faltered and without warning, a tear rolled down his cheek. "I don't know what's wrong with me," he whispered as two more tears fell from his eyes. He hastily wiped them off his face with his hand and turned his back on Alistair while he tried to compose himself.

Alistair reached out and touched his shoulder in concern.

"Don't touch me," Seto said thickly, but Alistair ignored him. He wrapped his arms around Seto's shoulders and rested his head in the hollow of his neck.

"I told you: you can't shake me that easily," Alistair said softly.

After Seto pulled himself together, Alistair let go, intending to leave, thinking Kaiba would want to be alone with his thoughts.

"Where are you going?" Seto asked after he'd turned back around.

"It's late; I need to go to bed if I want to get up before noon tomorrow. Goodnight."

"Oh." Seto thought fast. "Wait, Alistair. Stay." Alistair felt himself smiling. "Don't get confused and think that this is some lovey-dovey chick-flick thing, got it?" Alistair wiped the grin off his face and forced himself to sound gruff.

"Of course not."

The two men got ready for bed in silence, Alistair brushing his teeth with a spare toothbrush.

When it was time to actually get into the queen sized bed, Alistair thought that it would be asking a lot of Kaiba's personality to expect him to want to cuddle, and he was right, and also slightly relieved. The thought of 'Seto Kaiba' and 'cuddling' used in the same sentence would have been too weird.

"I sleep facing the wall," Seto informed his guest, breaking the silence. He pulled back the red comforter and slid under the sheets, rolling onto his side so that his back was to Alistair, who pulled the comforter up on the other side and followed suit, praying that he wouldn't have a nightmare that night. As it happened, he didn't, but he wasn't the only one prone to bad dreams.

_"You softhearted little worm," Gozaburo said, deathly calm. Seto shrank back until his back was against the wall and cowered there. "Did you really think I wouldn't find out about what you did?"_

_ "He needed the money," Seto explained shakily, putting his arms up defensively in front of himself. "I just wanted to help."_

_ "Are you or are you not a Kaiba, boy?" Gozaburo barked at him. "A Kaiba does not give away money! We're not running a charity, we're running a business! You would do well to remember that. But since you seem to have trouble burning that little fact into your brain, I'll offer you an incentive. How much money was it that you threw away? Five hundred? I think one lash for every hundred seems pretty generous, what do you say?" Seto felt his lip tremble, but knew that if he started crying the punishment would be worse._

_ "Yes."_

_ "Yes what?"_

_ "Y-yes sir." Gozaburo lashed out unexpectedly, catching Seto by the arm and dragging him towards the closet. Seto knew better than to fight, though he couldn't stop several tears from forming in the corners of his eyes._

_ "You are incompetent!" Gozaburo said coldly as he flung Seto into the narrow room. "What type of fool agrees to being beaten? You made a decision, at least have the guts to stick up for it! You are a Kaiba! We don't make mistakes. We are never wrong. Your lack of backbone has earned you five more lashes!"_

Alistair was awoken in the middle of the night and wondered dimly why he wasn't sleeping on the floor. It took him a moment to remember that he was in Kaiba's bed. It didn't take him long to figure out what had woken him up either. One look at Kaiba was enough to see that he was obviously having some kind of nightmare. His face was shining with sweat and he'd thrashed around so much that he'd completely pulled the blankets off of Alistair and was tangled up in them. He did not cry out, but his eyebrows had contracted and his mouth was curved in a frown. Alistair was too startled to snap into action immediately and it wasn't until Kaiba let out a low moan that he reached over to shake him.

"Kaiba!" he whisper-yelled, jostling the other man's shoulder. "Kaiba, wake up." Seto groaned again before cracking his eyes open.

"Wha?" he rasped sleepily, looking uncomprehendingly up into Alistair's concerned face.

"You were having a nightmare," Alistair explained. "You woke me up."

"Oh." Seto quickly pieced the situation together as he began to wake up. "Sorry." He started to roll over to go back to sleep when he realized Alistair's hand was resting on his back. "Why are you touching me?" Alistair quickly pulled his hand away as though he'd been burned.

"I was trying to wake you up," he explained defensively.

"Whatever." Seto tried to force the image of Gozaburo leering over him with a belt back to the dark pit it had come from.

"You're welcome," Alistair said snippily. Seto rolled his eyes.

"Please. You owed me after all the times I've woken you up. Now go back to sleep."

"Not until you give me half of the comforter."

"What? Oh." Seto suddenly realized how tightly he was wrapped in the blankets. He ended up having to sit up to untangle himself.

"What were you dreaming about?" Alistair asked, his curiosity getting the better of him.

"None of your business. I don't ask you about your dreams, you don't ask me about mine, got it?"

"Fair enough," Alistair agreed. He had a pretty good idea who Kaiba had been dreaming about anyway.

"Now let's go back to sleep; I have to get up to go to work soon."

"No you don't; you have the day off tomorrow, remember? It's your birthday."

"Right." Seto set his head back on the pillow and stared at the ceiling. "I'm twenty," he muttered out loud. The years certainly had flown by. It was strange to think that he'd carried the Kaiba name for exactly half his life now. Soon it would be more than half. He wondered briefly if Gozaburo would be proud of him if he could see him now. Or his parents…

Seto was fairly certain Mokuba couldn't remember their parents, but he could. The memories were faded, but still there. He could remember his ninth birthday, the last before the accident that resulted in he and Mokuba becoming orphans.

His mother had made him a chocolate cake with his name on it, and nine candles. He had no recollection of what he'd wished for that year, probably a video game, but he could remember his family singing 'Happy Birthday' and then agreeing to take him out for dinner. They had gone to some Mom and Pop diner because Seto liked the milkshakes. Seto mentally shook himself. There was no point getting sentimental over a past he could never relive.

* * *

**Author's Note: **This chapter highlights why I think that Seto and Alistair, as messed up as both of them are, work so well together as a pairing. Seto represents stability and rationality, whereas Alistair represents spontaneity and passion. They both have what the other is missing. And while it could be argued that Joey would work just as well, I say (that while there are amazing Puppyshipping fics), Joey could never understand and accept Seto like Alistair can, at least not as naturally. Seto would never hang out with Joey's friends or ever buy into their concept of friendship; that's not who he is, and Joey wouldn't be able to be with someone who doesn't have the same values he does. Alistair however, while he isn't nearly as introverted as Seto, would never try to force Seto to change who he is in order to be with him.


	16. Mad World

**Disclaimer: **I *does handstand* do not *juggles apples* own Yu-Gi-Oh! *takes bow*

* * *

_"All I've got are these photographs_

_I don't want to be stuck in the past."_

_~Photographs,_ Rihanna

**Chapter 16**

The next time Alistair opened his eyes, sunshine was streaming through the windows. He yawned, then sat up and stretched. It was the best sleep he'd had in a long time, despite waking up in the middle of it. He looked over at Kaiba who was still asleep. All he could see of the CEO was his back, but that was plenty to look at in and of itself; the muscles were beautifully sculpted. He reached out and traced the curve of Kaiba's body with the tip of his pointer finger which turned out to be enough to wake him up. He mumbled something sleepily before rolling over, cracking his piercing blue eyes open.

"Morning," Alistair said uncertainly, wondering what Kaiba's feelings about the night's events were.

"Morning," he said back, having similar thoughts. They eyed each other warily before Seto abruptly sat up and swung his legs off the bed before standing up, leaving a half naked Alistair lounging amongst the sheets. "I'm taking a shower," he announced. "Don't follow me," he added over his shoulder.

"God forbid I see you naked," Alistair teased, eliciting a glare from Seto.

"I'm serious Alistair."

"Alright, alright." He watched from the bed as Seto closed the bathroom door behind him before putting his arms behind his head and lying back contentedly. As he heard the water turn on, he suddenly had a thought. He slid out of bed and walked over to the desk to see what sorts of secrets about Kaiba it might contain. He knew it was an invasion of privacy, but his curiosity overruled his morality. The two small drawers contained nothing of interest, but the bottom right-hand drawer was littered with pictures. He pulled them out and looked through them. The top picture was of a very young Kaiba and toddler Mokuba with a man and a woman to whom they bore striking resemblance, Seto favoring the man, Mokuba, the woman. They were undoubtedly Kaiba's biological parents. The rest of the pictures were combinations of the four of them. Alistair flipped them over to see if there was anything written on the backs, but there wasn't. He set the photos down and saw a black lacquered box at the back of the drawer. Pulling it out, he flipped the latch and opened it. Inside was a silver knife, the knife Kaiba had cut himself with. He quickly closed the box and put it and the photographs back in the drawer before closing it and taking a step back.

Fifteen minutes later, Seto walked back out of the bathroom with a towel around his waist startled to see Alistair still there, lying in bed.

"What are you still doing here?" he asked.

"Waiting for you to be done in the bathroom," Alistair explained.

"Why didn't you just use yours?"

"I hadn't thought of it," he explained honestly. Seto rolled his eyes. "Besides, this way I get to see what your bathroom looks like."

"It's just a bathroom. Sink, toilet, shower, bathtub. Nothing all that interesting."

"Still." Alistair got out of bed again, stretching languidly to show off his toned stomach. "Hey," he said suddenly. "What was your last name before it was Kaiba?" The question took Seto by surprise.

"Why do you want to know?" he asked suspiciously. Alistair shrugged.

"Just out of curiosity."

"Well I'm not telling you."

"Why, is it some big secret?"

"No, it's just not a part of me anymore."

"What do you mean?"

"What I mean is that that name is useless whereas the name Kaiba actually stands for something."

"Yeah, a company," Alistair replied, unimpressed.

"What's your last name then?" Seto countered, realizing for the first time that he didn't know it. It was Alistair's turn to smirk.

"I'm not telling you. It's not a part of me anymore," he said cheekily.

"Cute. Now are you going to take a shower, or not?" Without answering, Alistair walked past Kaiba and into the bathroom, not bothering to close the door behind him before stripping out of his underwear, the rest of his clothes lying at the foot of Kaiba's bed.

"Have some modesty," Seto said, nettled, turning his back to the bathroom and heading towards the closet, trying to figure out what to wear.

The bathroom turned out to be just as bland as the rest of the room. Everything was white ceramic with silver accents. Unlike in the master bathroom, there wasn't even a painting on the wall over the bathtub which was by no means a Jacuzzi. The shower had sliding panels for doors and tiled walls.

Alistair turned the water back on and stepped in, pulling the doors shut around him. He turned his face up to the warm water and allowed himself to be drenched. Taking showers was one of his favorite indulgences; he loved luxuriating under the spray, gradually turning the heat up until it was practically as hot as a sauna, allowing toxins to pour out of his pores.

Looking over to a ledge at the back of the shower he saw several bottles of shampoo. He hadn't used shampoo since he, his brother, and mother had lost their house and been forced to go on the run, not because he couldn't, but because he didn't find it necessary. Water was enough to keep his hair from getting greasy so long as he didn't skip too many days. This time though, he decided to give it a try. He unscrewed the lid of the bottle and dumped a handful of the gel-like substance into his palm before setting the bottle back on the ledge.

He started running the goopy liquid through his hair, causing bubbles to form. Some of the suds ran down his face and got into his eyes.

"Ow!" he exclaimed as his eyes started to sting. He rubbed them until the stinging ebbed. He'd forgotten how much that hurt. Until he was sure he'd gotten all traces of the shampoo out of his hair, he acted with extreme caution.

"Are you going to stay in there all day?" Seto asked, annoyed after having gotten dressed only to see that Alistair was still in the shower.

"I might," Alistair called back.

"Don't be stupid. Wrap it up."

"Yeah, yeah, ok." Alistair reluctantly turned the water off and got out of the shower. He looked around for a towel and pulled one off the rack. It was fluffy and white and had the letters SK stitched into it. He vigorously rubbed the towel over his head to try and get some of the moisture out of his hair before wrapping it around his waist (tempted though he was to see the look on Kaiba's face if he walked out of the bathroom without it) before brushing his teeth. He was about to leave when he noticed a laminated piece of paper that had been taped to the wall. He laughed to himself as he read it over. Just as Mokuba had told him, the list illustrated the order in which Kaiba executed his morning routine: wash face, brush teeth (careful to get molars), and so on. On his way out, he fancied following step seven and sprayed a copious amount of Kaiba's cologne over himself before walking out into the main part of the room.

"Took you long enough," Seto complained, crossing his arms.

"You're going a little crazy with that outfit," Alistair commented on Seto's dark jeans and long-sleeved black T-shirt, "you might want to tone it down some."

"Ha ha. Get dressed."

"What's the rush?"

"I'm hungry, and if I don't get a cup of coffee I'm going to tear someone's head off, that a good enough reason for you?" Alistair shrugged, but nonetheless started collecting his clothes.

"And don't strip in front of…me," Seto muttered the last word as Alistair undid the towel and let it fall to the floor. He quickly closed his eyes and turned around. "Why do you keep doing that?"

"What's your problem? It's just a body, you've got one too."

"Yeah, well, I don't want to see yours."

"Don't be such a prude."

"I'm not a prude; I just don't think it's reasonable to walk around naked in front of people. Are you at least wearing underwear?"

"Yeah." He tentatively turned around. Luckily Alistair hadn't been lying (though the thought had crossed his mind).

"I think it goes without saying that you won't be telling anyone about this."

"About us sleeping together?"

"Of course," Seto snapped, "what else?" He added: "I'm sorry that I woke you up last night; I don't usually move around in my sleep that much."

"I can't exactly complain about that seeing as how I punched you after you woke me up." He grinned at the memory.

"Yeah well…Look, as long as you don't take as long in the shower as you did today…I mean, if it would help you get through the night or whatever…" Alistair suddenly realized he was being given permission to share Kaiba's bed again, and wisely chose to play along.

"Yeah, I didn't have any nightmares at all last night; must be something about your bed or the blankets or something."

"Probably." Without saying another thing about it, Seto left the room. Alistair followed after him, closing the door carefully behind him.

There was a cake, just as Mokuba had promised. It was chocolate with elaborate swirls drawn on in frosting as well as a large number twenty in the middle. Alongside it, predictably, was a steaming kettle of tea as well as a pot of coffee.

Mokuba, who'd already been up for several hours by the time Seto and Alistair made it to the dining room, was practically salivating all over it.

"Happy birthday, Seto," he said, standing up to give his older brother a hug. "Morning Alistair!"

"Morning Mokuba," Alistair greeted him, eying the cake. He'd had enough of Trudy's cooking to know that it would be delicious.

"Trudy was about to send me to wake you two up," Mokuba explained. "She went to get plates, but said she'd be right back." Alistair had to stifle a laugh at the thought of Mokuba walking into Seto's room only to see the two of them in bed together.

"Ah, there you are!" Trudy chirped, walking into the dining room holding four plates. "Happy birthday! My goodness, twenty years old, how time flies!" She set the plates on the table. "This is one of exactly two times a year I let the boys get away with such an unhealthy breakfast," she explained to Alistair. "Although," she glanced at her watch, "it's not really breakfast time anymore. It's almost twelve."

"It's my day off; I'll sleep in as long as I like," Seto sniffed, taking his seat at the table.

"Rightly so," she agreed. "So, who wants cake?"

The four of them ate cake together for the next forty-five minutes. It was the most relaxed Alistair had ever seen Kaiba. Even though he didn't crack any kind of genuine smile, he was playful in his own way, subtly making fun of Mokuba for having a girlfriend and ribbing on Trudy about the quality of the cake. To Alistair, it felt like a family. He would really miss being a part of it.

After Trudy had cleared the plates away, Seto disappeared back upstairs to relax in solitude. Mokuba had the rest of his lessons (lessons that had been pushed back to allow Mokuba time for cake) which left Alistair to occupy himself for the rest of the afternoon. He couldn't go to visit Darren because he had classes all day, so he went back upstairs to get some reading done and to play with Sewell.

As he entered the apartment, his eyes flickered towards the PC in the corner and it occurred to him that he ironically hadn't used a computer since he'd been at Kaiba, the CEO of a computer based company's house. He couldn't dredge up now, besides hacking and flight simulations, what he'd ever even done with computers that had occupied so much of his time.

Sewell ran up to him and rubbed against his legs, demanding attention. He scooped her into his arms and rubbed her head, causing her to start purring.

"Did you miss me last night?" he asked her. "Sorry about that, but I was made an offer I couldn't refuse." He set her down on the couch and retrieved _The Phantom of the Opera_ from the shelf above the bed. He'd long since replaced Gozaburo's books with his favorites plus whatever he was reading at the moment. "Let's go outside, yeah?" Novel and dictionary in hand and with Sewell hot on his heels, he made his way out to the garden and plopped down on the stone bench while Sewell commenced to play with some of the fallen leaves. It was an unseasonably warm day and Alistair ended up taking his jacket off, rolling it up and resting his head against it so that he could lie back and use the book to shield his eyes from the sun.

Seto sat up in his room at his desk idly twirling a pen between his fingers as he tried to compose an agenda for the rest of the day. He knew he wanted to go swimming and hit the gym for a bit. By the time he was done, Mokuba's lessons would be over and he'd undoubtedly want to play video games; an activity Seto had no trouble indulging him in; he and Mokuba rarely got the chance to game together anymore. After an hour or so of that it would be time to head over to his favorite restaurant where he'd made a dinner reservation. The question was: did he want to bring Alistair along? Technically he didn't have to since he never even brought Trudy or Roland, both of whom he'd known much longer, but the mere fact that he was even considering it led him to the conclusion that perhaps it was the right thing to do. But if he did that, maybe he should allow Mokuba to invite his girlfriend. But wait, why would he do that? That would turn the whole thing into a double date which was not his intention at all.

He still couldn't believe that he'd invited Alistair to sleep with him, and then extended the invitation indefinitely. He could no longer deny that Alistair was special, someone he regarded quite highly even though Alistair was far from a master duelist or businessman. It was a different quality that had captivated him. Alistair was achingly genuine and couldn't help but wear his heart on his sleeve. He was fiercely loyal to his ideals, but that was something that Seto could respect even if he didn't always agree. All of these qualities combined seemed to indicate that Alistair meant what he had said about sticking by him. But that begged the question: why? Why would Alistair want to 'stick by him?' Did he want something? He'd always said that he didn't, but maybe he was lying, though it seemed unlikely. Did that mean that he actually liked him, despite the fact that he was so careful to be unlikeable? Impossible! And yet…

Ugh! And he'd cried, actually _cried_ in front of him! Seto hadn't cried in years. He had no idea what had put him over the edge and chalked it up to pure exhaustion. He'd never let himself be as weak in someone else's presence as he had in Alistair's. The nights he had gone to his room, Alistair seeing him cutting, crying, having nightmares—all things that no one, not even Mokuba had been allowed to see.

He decided that he trusted Alistair because they shared so much: they were both orphans, older brothers forced to grow up before their time to take on the role of caretaker for their younger siblings, they both had backgrounds in pain, they were both tough, they both had nightmares, and perhaps most significantly, they both shared an interest in each other.

He glanced out the window to where he could see Alistair lying on a bench in the garden reading a book while his cat played nearby. He couldn't stop a small smile from forming on his face. Not only was that the same spot he himself had always gone to study as a child when the weather was nice, but Alistair, from what he could see, looking so relaxed, so peaceful, was a far cry from the vengeful, angry person he'd been when they'd first met. Being at the mansion had changed him (Seto was inclined to think for the better) and that made him happy; a sign that having Alistair around had changed him too.

When he had first extended the offer to help the wild young man with an even wilder story at Duelist Kingdom he had tried to hide the fact that Alistair's story had touched him, but it had.

Even as he stood facing Dartz and had it revealed that Gozaburo had had nothing to do with Alistair's troubles, he'd felt inclined to help him and had thought about him briefly as he was passing out from whatever drug Dartz had somehow managed to get into his system. So yes, even back then he'd felt drawn to the redhead, so much so that as he'd stood in the hospital, waiting for him to wake up, he'd decided that he not only wanted to help him, he wanted to put him up at his own house. He'd tricked himself into believing that his decision was about money, but deep down he'd always known that Alistair fascinated him and that he wanted him nearby.

Alistair suddenly looked up, aware that someone was watching him and Seto quickly looked down even though there was no way that Alistair could see him. As it happened Alistair didn't need to be able to see through the branches to know who was staring at him; he'd memorized the blueprints to the house and knew that that was Kaiba's room. He smiled to himself before returning to his book.

Later, after swimming and working out, Seto had agreed to game with his brother for a couple of hours even though he was so much better than Mokuba that playing against each other wasn't very interesting.

"So what's it like being twenty?" Mokuba asked jokingly as he booted his game system up, painfully excited that he and Seto were going to sit down and actually get to hang out for once.

"Great," Seto commented. "Do I look any older?" Mokuba laughed.

"You just look like you."

"That reminds me: I need a recent picture of you for my locket," Seto said. "Do you have one?" Mokuba shrugged.

"No. Not one that wasn't for KC or the papers or something. I'll have to have Trudy take one. Why do you want to change the picture all of a sudden?"

"To remind myself that you're growing up."

"You sound like one of those moms on soap operas," Mokuba commented, sticking his tongue out. "Next you'll tell me how much taller I've gotten or something."

"Oh please. What game are we going to play?"

"You can pick."

"Something with shooting."

"Ok, sure." Mokuba looked sideways at his older brother as he went to retrieve his sniper game, wondering what had put Seto on edge. As he loaded the game, he ventured to find out what was eating him. "So the tournament is running smoothly, right?" he asked casually.

"Yeah, now that we can finally start building."

"When are you sending out the invites?"

"Next week. Actually, I'm glad you mentioned Grand Championship; I want you to host."

"What?!" Mokuba asked, shocked. "Really?"

"People need to start seeing you as an active part of the company now that you're older. Besides, I'm going to be too busy with the technical aspects to have time."

"What's up with that anyway?" Mokuba asked as the game started up. "This tournament isn't any more work than Battle City was, why aren't you dueling?"

"I told you: I don't have time," Seto replied evasively. Mokuba rolled his eyes.

"You might be able to get away with saying that to everyone else, but not to me. Come on, when you first thought up the idea you were really excited about it; what changed?" His expression softened. "Are you afraid you'd lose to Yugi again?" he asked carefully. Seto's eyes flashed momentarily in anger, then he relaxed.

"To be honest Mokuba: I'm not sure I can beat Yugi."

"What are you talking about?" Mokuba balked at the notion of his brother giving up. "You're the best that there is! Don't give up!"

"I'm not 'giving up', I'm just being realistic. Yugi is the only person I'd be interested in dueling anymore, but I really just don't think I'll ever be able to defeat him."

"But why? Just work on a strategy; you had a really good one after you got the Blue Eyes Shining Dragon from Pegasus! If that Anubis guy hadn't shown up, you would have won!"

"That's exactly my point: every time I try to duel Yugi something happens that messes things up. What's the point of putting my time and energy into a strategy I won't even get the chance to play out?" Mokuba had to admit that his brother had a point.

"I guess you're right…"

"I'm always right," Seto said, the expression suddenly causing him to remember his dream from the night before. He fell silent and mutely took the controller that Mokuba handed him.

"Are you ok, Seto?" Mokuba asked. "You haven't been yourself lately."

"I'm fine," he assured the raven-haired teen. "I've just been under a lot of pressure recently because of all of the legal trouble." Mokuba nodded. He understood how that was.

"Hey, I never really got a straight answer out of you," he said suddenly, changing the subject, his eyes glued to the split-screen as his avatar ran around collecting ammo. "What ever happened with Momo?"

"I told you: I had a nice conversation with her and I'm going to hire her," Seto replied, trying to decide which of the two weapon options he had would be more viable, finally settling on a sleek pistol.

"So you didn't like her then?" Mokuba pressed, shooting down several enemies with his AK47.

"I won't be dating her if that's what you're getting at."

"Why not? I thought you wanted a girlfriend."

"What I said was that I'd entertain the idea. Speaking of which: how are things going between you and Hilary?" After gushing non-stop about the girl for almost a solid month, Mokuba had become strangely tight-lipped about their relationship.

"Good."

"Is that all you're going to tell me?"

"What else do you want to know?"

"I don't know," Seto replied, taken off guard by Mokuba's reluctance to talk about it. "I was just wondering seeing as she's your first girlfriend and since you and I don't talk much anymore."

"Yeah, when did we stop doing that?" Seto shrugged, his fingers rapidly pressing buttons on the controller.

"After Gozaburo I guess."

"We should start trying to hang out again. It's just that you're so busy with work…"

"I offered to come home early once, but you were busy," Seto reminded him, still hung up about it.

"Yeah, once. You're hardly ever home anymore, at least not until I'm already asleep. I'm starting to feel like you care about KC more than you care about me." The hurt in Mokuba's voice was evident.

"That's not true," Seto objected. "I work hard _because_ I care about you. I want you to have all the chances I never had."

"We have plenty of money. I don't want any more of that; I just want my big brother back. I really like Alistair, and he's nice, but he's not you. And besides: he's leaving soon."

"Wait, what?" This was news to Seto. "What do you mean?" Mokuba was surprised that Seto seemed so interested; it wasn't like he and Alistair were close. He decided it was Seto's way of changing the topic.

"Since he's not working for you he told me he didn't feel comfortable freeloading here anymore."

"Hmm…" The thought that Alistair would leave hadn't even crossed his mind. "Did he say when or where he'd go?"

"No." Mokuba shook his head. "Why are you so interested?" Seto tensed.

"I'm not. Anyway, you want to talk? Let's talk. What about you and Hilary?"

"I mean, we're still doing really well," he said slowly. He wasn't stupid; he could tell that there was something up that Seto didn't want to talk about which of course only served to fuel his curiosity. "I met her parents and they seem to like me which is a good sign. I met her little sister and their dog and all that, and they invited me back." Just then Seto found Mokuba's avatar and open fired, sparking an intense three minute battle. Seto sustained some heavy damage but came out the victor. "Did you know that Alistair had friends?" he asked, looking at Seto's expression out of the corner of his eye.

"Most people do," Seto replied uninterestedly, hunting around for more ammo.

"Do you think he has a boyfriend?" Mokuba pressed. Seto shrugged.

"How should I know?"

"So you knew he was gay?" Startled, Seto thought fast.

"Trudy must have mentioned it," he invented. "And can we stop talking about Alistair? I thought this was supposed to be us bonding, not us gossiping."

"Fair enough," Mokuba agreed, carefully laying the matter aside for later. Seto didn't like the tone of his brother's voice; it indicated that he wasn't really going to let it slide and would undoubtedly try to get to the bottom of Seto's obvious discomfort, which, for someone as intelligent as Mokuba, wouldn't take long. Seto wondered what Mokuba would think if he found out about what he and Alistair had been up to. Most likely Mokuba wouldn't care, but _he_ cared though he wasn't exactly sure why. Much of his unease stemmed from his uncertainty with regards to what he and Alistair were actually doing. Relationships of this kind were not something any of his tutors had prepared him for, and he was so sheltered anyway that even putting a name to his relationship with Alistair proved impossible. They weren't really friends, or at least not the same way that Yugi had his friends, they weren't dating to be sure, they weren't even really sleeping together in the slang sense, yet Seto knew that he wanted Alistair around, far more than wanted most anyone around. And none of that took into account Alistair's feelings, so where did that leave things?

"You alright bro?" Mokuba asked, realizing all of a sudden that while he was still operating his character out of reflex, Seto's mind was a million miles away (or more accurately a few rooms over).

"Sorry, I was just distracted. Work, you know?"

"Right." Mokuba didn't buy it for a second. His subconscious was already working to unravel the mystery. As they continued to play his brain processed all the possibilities and after utilizing the process of elimination, most notably pausing on Seto's disinterest in Momo, he came to a startling conclusion. "Seto," he began slowly in a way that Seto didn't like. "Are you—?"

"Mokuba, I would appreciate it if you stopped interrogating me," Seto snapped, cutting him off. "If you want to talk, fine, but since I don't press issues that you don't want to talk about, I'd appreciate it if you paid me the same courtesy."

"Alight, alright. Ok, totally unrelated question: is Alistair coming with us to dinner?" Seto had an above average IQ and wasn't about to be manipulated by his brother's poorly disguised follow-up question.

"Yes, but not for the reason that you're thinking."

"What am I thinking?"

"Goddammit Mokuba! I'm not an idiot! I know that you've been sitting there overanalyzing things and have come to the overly dramatic conclusion that because I wasn't interested in Momo Tojikamuri I'm not interested in women at all. And after coming to that conclusion, you thought, logically, that since Alistair is gay and around my age and living in this house he and I must be having secret rendezvous'. Well, you're wrong. The reason I'm inviting him to dinner is because he's a guest and it would be rude not to. Now drop it." Slightly disappointed, but not completely convinced, Mokuba turned his attention fully back to the game.

He and Seto finished the game out (Seto won, though by a much narrower margin than he'd expected) and retreated to their own rooms to change for dinner.

Seto first went to knock on Alistair's (_Gozaburo's_) door to actually invite him to the restaurant. Alistair opened the door after Seto had knocked three times looking sleepy and disoriented, having obviously just been woken up.

"If you can get dressed and ready to go in a half an hour, Mokuba and I will be leaving to go to dinner and you're cordially invited to tag along." Alistair looked confused. Kaiba certainly didn't sound very cordial.

"I don't have to go if you don't want me to."

"It's not you," Seto confessed, "it's Mokuba. We were playing a video game and he started asking me questions. You didn't say anything to him, did you?"

"About us…?" Alistair trailed off, unsure of how to end the sentence. "No. I told you I wouldn't." Seto, who knew that Alistair wasn't capable of hiding his emotions, could see plainly that he was telling the truth.

"Hmm…"

"What did he say exactly?"

"Nothing. Never mind. Just don't let him figure it out. If either of us is going to slip up, it's you. You couldn't lie if your life depended on it."

"That's what you think," Alistair said, annoyed even though there was a lot of truth in Kaiba's statement.

"So are you coming, or not?" Alistair thought it over.

"Alright, but I want to pay the tip." Seto rolled his eyes at Alistair's naïve self-righteousness.

"Your loss. Oh, and this is a really nice restaurant; you'll have to wear a tie."

"I don't have one."

"I sent you with Mokuba to get clothes months ago." Alistair shrugged.

"He didn't take me to get a tie."

"Do you have any nice clothes?"

"Nice as in…?"

"A button-up shirt, dress pants, a suit of any kind?" Alistair shook his head. "Ugh. Fine, you can borrow something of mine. Go put some clothes on and meet me in my room."

"Why would I put clothes on just to take them off again?" Alistair asked Seto's retreating back. Seto didn't even bother justifying the question with a response.

Back in his room and in the closet, he studied his row of suits, trying to decide what to wear, finally settling on a classic black with a white shirt and black tie. Mokuba always said the suit made him look like he was on his way to a funeral and that he should wear a different tie to lighten it up, but Seto liked how no-nonsense the outfit was; just like himself.

Without bothering to knock, Alistair entered Kaiba's room and made a beeline for the closet. Seto was just buttoning up his sleeves when Alistair appeared.

"Tell me that they actually knock in your country and you're just rude," Seto said testily. Alistair opened his mouth to give a scathing rebuttal, but was quickly cut off. "I have a few different suits to choose from, but since you obviously know nothing about clothes I took the liberty of picking something out for you." He indicated a dark green suit with a tie he had selected to match Alistair's hair. He had never actually worn the suit himself and wasn't even sure why he had it, but the color suited Alistair.

The pants were a little long, the jacket didn't quite fit him in the shoulder, and Alistair felt like a total fool, but Seto said it would do and helped the redhead tie the tie.

"I look like an idiot," Alistair said grumpily, looking at himself in the closet's floor to ceiling mirror. "The pants aren't too bad, but you can tell that the jacket doesn't fit."

"Since when do you care about clothes fitting? Last I checked you walked around for months in a tank top that was easily three sizes too small for you." Alistair shot him a look.

"My trench coat fits."

"Look, either you go like this or you don't go at all. Mokuba and I are leaving in," Seto checked the watch he'd thrown on, "ten minutes."

"Fine, whatever."

"Nice suit Alistair," Mokuba laughed when the three met up downstairs. "You might want to get it tailored a little though."

"It's your brother's," Alistair muttered.

"I know," Mokuba replied, "I'm only teasing." Mokuba had chosen the same color combination as his brother, minus the tie. "I'm still technically a kid," he explained, "so I won't get weird looks if I don't wear one."

"Lucky you; this thing is going to choke me." Alistair wormed his fingers under the fashionable noose, trying to loosen it.

"Stop fidgeting. You're worse than Mokuba," Seto snapped as Alfred pulled up in the limo.

During the ride, Mokuba kept glancing back and forth between Seto and Alistair, looking for some clue that he was right and there was something going on between the two of them, but he kept coming up blank since the two men never even looked at each other, though that in and of itself was interesting.

The restaurant was in a part of town that didn't allow cars, so Alfred dropped them off as close as he could before they continued on foot.

"The filet mignon is amazing here," Mokuba gushed. "I get it every time!"

"Filet what?"

"It's a kind of steak," Seto explained in a condescending voice, leading the way across the cobbled square.

"Could any of you fine gentlemen spare a couple of bucks?" came a voice from somewhere to their left. Seto and Mokuba kept walking without even looking down, but Alistair stopped to address the old man sitting on a pile of rags on the ground against the wall of an upscale clothing store.

"Of course," he said softly, intending to reach into his jacket pocket for his stash of money before remembering that he was wearing Kaiba's clothes, not his. "Hang on one second. Mokuba! Kaiba!"

As soon as he heard Alistair calling him, Seto exhaled heavily through his nose in irritation. He knew that the idiot wanted to give the beggar man money and he was in no mood to indulge his gullibility, but he was also annoyingly aware that if he didn't give the man anything, Alistair would make a scene and try to make him feel bad, so he told Mokuba to wait and doubled back, already reaching into his wallet, not certain he even had any paper money on him. As it turned out the smallest bill he had was way more than he really wanted to give away, but under the circumstances he was willing to do it, if only so that they could be on their way sooner rather than later. He thrust the money into the old man's hand. The man squinted down at it before his eyes widened in disbelief.

"Oh bless you sir!" he said enthusiastically, reaching out to grab Seto's hand. He shook it several times while Seto wrinkled his nose in disgust as a strong mix of booze, cigarettes and body odor hit his nostrils. "Say," he squinted upwards again. "I recognize you. You're the guy with the billboard downtown. You're that famous duelist uh…" He snapped his fingers, trying to remember.

"Look, I'm in a hurry; my reservation expires in fifteen minutes, so if you'll excuse me. Come on Alistair."

"Reservation? Like for food?"

"Are you hungry?" Alistair asked and Seto wanted to kick him.

"It's been a while since I've had a real meal. Must be going on a week now. I've been hiding out behind that restaurant over there waiting for them to throw the leftovers out." Alistair looked at Seto pleadingly. There was no way he could eat in good conscience now unless they brought the old man with them.

"This is a five star restaurant," Seto said flatly. "They wouldn't let him in anyway."

"If he's with you they would. Come on, are you really going to let him eat out of the garbage?"

"Please sir, have pity on an old man." Seto couldn't believe that Alistair didn't see that they were being played for fools. He'd already given the man enough money to feed him for several days, there was absolutely no logical reason to even feel bad about not taking him with them, but he could see in Alistair's face that he was convinced that they'd be signing the beggar's death warrant if they didn't bring him.

"Fine."

Mokuba looked questioningly at his brother when he returned with not only Alistair, but the drifter as well. Seto rolled his eyes and inclined his head towards Alistair. He was hoping against hope that the greeter wouldn't let the man pass and relieve them of the problem.

As Alistair predicted, the girl who greeted them, though she raised an eyebrow, reluctantly let all of them in, saying to the homeless man: "perhaps you'd like to wash up before dinner sir?"

"Why thank you young lady, I think I will. Could you point me in the right direction?" She pointed to the bathrooms before a waiter came to seat the party.

Word spread fast that Seto Kaiba had brought a hobo to dinner and over the course of their meal, over fifty-percent of the restaurant's staff went to have a look for themselves.

Once he returned from the bathroom, the grubby man introduced himself as Joshua Johnson.

"It's very nice to meet you," Alistair said. "I'm Alistair, and this is Seto and Mokuba Kaiba."

"That's it! Kaiba! I knew I recognized you!" Joshua exclaimed. "It was awful nice of you folks to invite me to share your meal. Awful nice."

"We couldn't let you starve." Alistair's eyes were full of compassion.

"Are you gentlemen ready for drinks?" their waiter, a man of about thirty named Francoise asked.

"I'll have water," Alistair decided after Seto and Mokuba listed two drinks he wasn't even sure he could pronounce.

"And I'll have a bottle of your best wine," Joshua put in. "If that's alright with you," he added to Seto who could do nothing but nod curtly.

"Right away. Take your time perusing the menu. I'll be back shortly."

Alistair looked down at the menu which turned out to be completely in French and he resolved to simply pick a number at random to relay to the waiter when he got back and suffer the consequences if it turned out to be something not very good.

"Could somebody translate this gibberish for me?" Joshua asked. Seto looked at Mokuba since he refused to take further part in the affair. As Mokuba translated each item Joshua exclaimed about how fancy it all was.

"Do they have any of that caviar stuff?" he asked. "That's what rich people eat, right?"

"Umm…_I_ don't really like it," Mokuba said. "It's fish eggs. Usually you eat it on crackers. It's not a meal."

"Why would anyone eat that? Ok, what's this next one?"

"Escargot is snails," Mokuba translated. "It sounds gross, but it's actually pretty good as long as you have something to drink; it's kind of salty. That's not a meal either though, just an appetizer."

"Snails, huh? You people sure eat some funky stuff. Do they have anything normal, like a burger or some kind of meat that isn't fish eggs or snails?"

"There's pheasant. That's good."

"What's 'pheasant?'"

"It's a bird."

"Does it taste like chicken or turkey?"

"A little drier, but basically."

"As long as they have some ketchup that'll be fine."

"It comes with creamed vegetable soup and a sort of salad and plum sauce."

"Alright, I'll have that."

"I think I will too," Alistair agreed. He'd never had pheasant before, but a bird was a bird was a bird in his opinion.

Francoise returned with their drinks and prepared to write down their orders. Mokuba ordered for Alistair and Joshua since neither of them could pronounce the French words.

"This is some mighty fine wine," Joshua commented, pouring himself a second glass. "How much does a bottle of this stuff go for?"

"Three hundred," Seto replied, trying not to think about it as he sipped his own drink.

"I'll be damned. But that's not really that much for someone like you, is it? You could order a couple of these without even batting an eye."

"Hmm…"

"Do you have family Mr. Johnson?" Alistair asked politely.

"I have a son. He's a soldier," Joshua explained proudly. "He's married with three little girls."

"Why don't you live with _them_?" Seto asked coolly.

"Well you see, I would, but my son and I had a falling out a while back so he and I haven't spoken in over five years. I had a job working at an auto parts shop, but they had to let me go a year ago. I guess folks stopped buying cars or something. At my age it's hard to get hired and I ate through my savings pretty fast. Next thing I know I'm selling off my things just to make rent, but then I got broken into; I live in a rough neighborhood, and couldn't pay so my landlord had me thrown out. That was four months ago. Since then I've had to beg just to get by."

"You seemed to have enough for a beer every now and then," Seto pointed out, the man's sob story doing nothing to move him.

"Hey, you'd be surprised how helpful that can be," Alistair interjected. "When Mikey and I were on the run and it was cold we'd search around looking for something to warm us up, and sometimes the best we could do was a half a bottle of beer. A full one if we were lucky. It really helps."

"I can see you don't believe me." Joshua addressed Seto. "But it's true. I'm not some bum; just a guy who's down on his luck. Your friend here seems to understand." He looked gratefully at Alistair.

"It's not my place to judge you," Seto replied neutrally as Francoise returned with their food.

"Aw man, does this look good!" Joshua licked his lips in anticipation as his plate was set in front of him.

Joshua and Alistair were the only ones who spoke during the entire meal. Joshua regaled them of stories of his youth and Alistair kept up a stream of questions for him, and answered the questions Joshua had about his own background.

"You poor boy," Joshua said, sympathetically placing a hand on Alistair's shoulder as the former described how his brother had been killed. "That's terrible. Makes me think it's about time to reconnect with Nathan. I'd hate for something to happen to him without us having made up although I'm not sure how excited he'd be to hear from me what with me being out of a job and all…"

"If he's as good a man as you say he is, he'll be happy to just have his dad back. I would be."

"Me too," Mokuba said, so softly that only Seto heard him.

After another half an hour, Francoise came back to collect their plates and ask if they'd be ordering desert. Seto looked at Mokuba. As far as he was concerned that was his call.

"I'll have some chocolate mousse," Mokuba said. "What about you guys?" he asked Alistair and Joshua.

"I'm too full," Alistair begged off.

"I don't know what 'mousse' is, but I'll have some chocolate ice cream if you have it," Joshua requested.

"Anything for you Mr. Kaiba?"

"No thank you. That will be all." Seto was beyond ready to leave. Listening to Joshua and Alistair's stories was making him feel much more like the spoiled rich kid Alistair had him pegged for by comparison.

After Mokuba and Joshua finished their deserts and Seto had paid for the meal they began walking towards the doors of the restaurant.

"I guess it's time to turn back into a pumpkin," Joshua said good-naturedly. "Thank you so much for everything. It was a great meal, and the money you gave me should get me through the next couple of days. I'm really quite obliged to you gentlemen. Makes me think that there might really be somebody up there listening to my prayers." Joshua started walking back to his pile of rags to prepare to go to sleep. The part of Seto that had been hardwired to be callous was relieved that they'd finally be rid of the old beggar, but the part of him that had given Roland enough money for a present for his daughter wished he could do more. Seeing Alistair's face tipped the scale for him.

"Wait a minute Mr. Johnson," he said, not quite believing the words that he knew were about to come out of his mouth.

"Yes?" Joshua looked hopeful. Seto pulled one of his business cards out of his wallet along with a small pen he always carried in case he had to sign a check and wrote out the number of the Domino Kaiba Land office along with a name and his office number.

"When you get some change, call this number and ask for Ryoga. I'll call him myself tomorrow so that he'll be expecting it and he can set you up with a job at the Domino Kaiba Land. It won't be anything glamorous, probably a janitor gig, but…"

"You'd really do that?" Joshua asked, amazed, taking the card from Seto. "Thank you, thank you so much! You have no idea what this means to me! God bless you sir! I'll never forget this!"

"That was really nice of you," Alistair ventured on the ride back to the mansion. "I didn't know you had it in you."

"Yeah well…How was your filet mignon Mokuba?"

"It was delicious, like always. I agree with Alistair by the way."

"I'm not this horrible person everyone always acts like I am," Seto defended himself. "I do good things all the time. No one's _that_ heartless…Now shut up about it. When we get home I'm going to bed."

"Thanks for sharing," Alistair said, making sure to sound as sarcastic as possible to keep Mokuba from figuring things out. He failed miserably. One quick look back and forth between the two was all it took to confirm Mokuba's suspicions. He never would have guessed that the person that his brother would fall for would be the same person that tried to kill them, and yet that appeared to be exactly what had happened. He smiled to himself, content to know that Seto was finally going to let himself be happy.

* * *

**Author's note:** First and foremost: thank you, thank you, thank you for all your lovely reviews (you know who you are ^.^ )! Reading your kind words of encouragement caused me to fangirl about it to my boyfriend; they mean a lot to me and keep me motivated to keep updating!

Now, to the chapter. First, the obvious: is it or is it not out of character for Seto to do what he did? I'd be inclined to say yes, under normal circumstances Seto would not do as much for anyone as he did for Joshua, but these were not normal circumstances; you have to factor in Alistair, who _would_ do such a thing. Being with Alistair makes Seto a better person, or at least it causes his better qualities to come out-that's what he gets out of being with him, at least in my humble opinion, though he will probably always go about his good deeds with a smirk, an eye roll, or at the very least a condescending remark or two, but that's just who Seto is (and probably partially why we love him).

Second, Mokuba. Mokuba is not stupid; I think it's a least fairly believable that he'd be able to put two and two together where his brother is concerned.

Merry Christmas everyone! ;)


	17. Love is the Strangest Thing

**Disclaimer:** Is this really still necessary? ~le sigh~ Fine. *puts hand on heart* I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!

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_"No sorrow, no heartache_

_No bed names, no sex games_

_No they won't remember or ever be tender_

_No loving, no caring, no program for pairing."_

~_My Clone Sleeps Alone_, Pat Benatar

**Chapter 17**

As they got ready for bed that night, Seto reviewed what he wanted to say to Alistair who at that very moment was struggling to undo his tie.

"I can't believe you actually like wearing stuff like this! How do you get it off?"

"Stop yanking it like that and just do this." Seto set his toothbrush down on the counter to assist his bedmate. He reached out and gently slid the knot down enough for Alistair to pull it over his head.

"Thanks," Alistair said, tossing it aside.

"Hey! That's a really expensive tie! But you're welcome." He returned to brushing his teeth. Soon thereafter, Alistair joined him.

"How long do you spend brushing your teeth?"

"I don't want to get a cavity."

"Have you ever?"

"Once when I was eight. I don't care to repeat the experience."

"Surprisingly I haven't ever had one I don't think. Even when we were on the run, I knew it was important to take care of my teeth. Toothpaste was one of the only things we carried with us."

"Hmm…"

"What are you thinking about? Whenever you do that I always feel like you're passing judgment or something."

"For all you know, I am." Seto finished brushing his teeth, replaced his toothbrush in its' holder, and stood leaning lightly against one of his bedposts, waiting for Alistair to finish in the bathroom.

Alistair could sense that there was something going on in Kaiba's head, he just wasn't sure what. He prepared himself for a lecture about having more or less invited Joshua to dinner. He hadn't meant to put Kaiba on the spot, he'd merely wanted to help the man who he could see needed it. He braced himself as he exited the bathroom to see Kaiba lolling against his bed.

"Where are you going to go when you leave here?" Seto asked unexpectedly.

"Huh?" The question was out of left field.

"You heard me."

"Maybe back home."

"Back home? Oh."

"I think going back would help me overcome my nightmares. I'm starting to think that's what they're trying to tell me, that it's time. It's something I have to do." Alistair lowered his eyes sadly. "For Mikey and for me." Seto understood and in that moment chose to abandon his preconceived arguments. Trying to reconcile with the past was something he could certainly appreciate.

"You'll need a plane."

"You offering?"

"Yeah."

"Thank you."

"When do you want it by?"

"I'm not sure. Soon enough that I won't overstay my welcome."

"How long will you need it for?" Alistair, no fool, could tell that Kaiba was trying to fish for how long he'd be gone. The notion that Kaiba would actually miss him caused a fluttery sensation in his stomach.

"I don't know yet. As long as it takes."

"Just keep me posted."

"I will." Seto gave him a small nod. They stared at each other momentarily before Alistair stepped forward. There didn't need to be anymore talking.

Normally when they did this, Seto was overly aggressive in an attempt to assure Alistair of his dominant masculinity, but after having assessed how many weak positions Alistair had already seen him in, he eased off a little bit and concentrated more on living in the moment, finding that he quite liked feeling Alistair's silky red hair on the side of his face, the fullness of his lips and the slight calluses on his fingers. Alistair in turn relished in the unexpected softness of Kaiba's skin, the solidness of his muscle, and the lines of his body and how he fit against them.

"I love you," he murmured between kisses, and in that moment he knew that it was true. By some twist of fate, he'd fallen in love with Seto Kaiba. The pronouncement caused Seto to freeze. He didn't know how to respond, what to do. He cared for Alistair, more than he'd ever cared about anyone besides Mokuba, but love? Trust him unconditionally with his heart and soul?

"I can't," he said, pushing Alistair away.

"Why?" Alistair demanded, hurt.

"I just can't."

"_Why_?"

"I'm not like you!" Seto barked. "I can't feel things the way you feel things, ok? I don't know how…"

"Don't be stupid," Alistair started. "You're not a robot." Suddenly his mind flashed back to the footage he'd watched of the Duelist Kingdom Tournament from several years before. In his duel against Yugi, Kaiba had essentially threatened suicide if Yugi didn't let him win, and then paused to taunt him for his humanity before turning on his heel for the castle and his chance to win his brother back from Pegasus. As he'd been leaving, one of Yugi's friends, a girl, had lectured Kaiba about his lack of compassion, saying he spent so much time with his computers that he forgot how to deal with real people. Maybe she'd had a point. He'd never seen Kaiba look so uncomfortable before. Could it be that Gozaburo's conditioning and his general lack of human interaction on any kind of extended level had stripped Kaiba of the ability to process emotions like love?

Very rarely did Seto find himself in situations that were beyond him and more often than not he was the cleverest out of whatever group of people he found himself amongst. He knew how to manipulate things and people, how to quickly analyze data and make decisions, but for all of his knowledge (which had its limits given that he'd only ever studied things that would be useful in the business and computer worlds), he found himself coming up completely blank with regards to how to understand his own feelings. Feelings and emotions had always ever been costumes he put on to fit any given situation. At business meetings he was polite, he asked questions about a potential partner's family and life, at work he was tough and ruled with an iron fist, to the public he was a cocky, coldhearted, but very talented duelist and businessman, to Mokuba he was a pillar of strength and confidence, to Alistair…he didn't know. He was never sure, least of all now, what emotion would be appropriate to display around the man he had come to like very much. _I am like a robot_, he thought. _And no one ever bothered to program this into me_.

Alistair wished he knew what to say, but he was at a loss. He could see that Kaiba was going through some sort of internal meltdown but knew better than to console him. He couldn't imagine growing up the way Kaiba had and he found himself hating the man that had done this to the proud CEO. Gozaburo had in essence slowly killed Seto over the years until there was only Kaiba left, someone with just the barest idea of what it meant to be human.

God only knew that he himself had suffered plenty over the years, but never once had he lost sight of his humanity. He may have been on the run and under constant threat of death, but if anything that had brought him closer to the people he met along the way, and even though his trust in institutions of any kind was at an all time low, he had never stopped trusting people as individuals. Maybe that made him naïve, but he decided he'd rather be naïve than completely isolated in his own head the way Kaiba seemingly was.

"Alistair, I'm sorry, but I can't," Seto repeated, avoiding making eye contact, now painfully aware of just what his rise to the top had cost him. "I can't be that for you. I don't know how to love you, anybody."

"Yes you do," Alistair contradicted him. "I know that you love Mokuba."

"Oh really? As you so kindly pointed out, all I do is try to keep Mokuba weak and under my control."

"Don't patronize me."

"I'm not. I've been thinking a lot recently and I've come to the conclusion that maybe you're right. Maybe I am just trying to keep him dependant on me so that I won't end up alone."

"What are you talking about?" Alistair said crisply, though inside he was starting to become concerned by the tone of Kaiba's voice; it reminded him of how he'd sounded the day Trudy came to pick him up from the hotel. "This whole 'I'll end up alone' thing sounds like a self-fulfilling prophesy to me. If you act like a dick to everyone, the odds are good that no one will want to be around you. So cut it out."

"I don't think you've been paying attention," Seto snapped. "_I don't know how to do anything else_."

"You're a lot of things, but a quitter isn't one of them; you're too competitive. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and do something to actually help yourself. Going against what you've been taught isn't easy, believe me, I know. At the beginning, even though I knew that I had no reason to hate you anymore I couldn't stop myself from trying to piss you off because that was my instinct since I'd been told for years that you were my enemy, just like Gozaburo told you for years that you can't trust anyone but yourself, that emotions are for the weak, that being a Kaiba means that you're supposed to do everything on your own, and that's not something you can shake off just like that, but underneath all of the negative things he pumped you full of you're a good person Seto, I've seen it. Gozaburo would have left me on that plane to die, and he certainly wouldn't have put me up in his house once he saw that I was alive, but you did.

I asked you before why you did that, and you blew me off, but I think it's because you're afraid to admit that you aren't a bad guy because you're afraid of making mistakes, of failing." When Seto didn't say anything, Alistair decided to challenge him: "tell me that I'm wrong. If you look me in the eye and tell me that you couldn't care less about anyone but yourself I promise I will walk out that door and never bother you again."

Seto weighed his options. Telling Alistair to get lost would certainly be the easier choice, the safe choice, but was that what he really wanted? To eliminate from his life the one person who had ever offered him a future where he didn't end up alone?

"I don't understand why of all the people in the world you'd want to be with me," Seto said slowly. "I've seen couples in town. How they walk down the street holding hands, buying each other flowers and teddy bears, saying 'I love you' every time they have nothing else to say. I'm not like that, I will never be like that."

"I know. The day you buy me a teddy bear is the day I request that you have yourself committed. I know who you are, and it's you that I want, not someone that looks like you but is romantic. Besides, I'm not interested in a relationship like that; can you honestly see me wanting to walk around holding hands? I just want what we have now to continue."

"I don't know Alistair…" Seto started, the idea of being tied to another person even in such an unofficial capacity causing him to feel claustrophobic.

"No pressure," Alistair added, slightly self-conscious. He was beginning to think that perhaps he'd sorely misjudged the grounds for Kaiba (_Seto_)'s discomfort.

"I'm not sure what to think. I can tolerate you more than just about anyone else, but that's not the same thing as love and I feel like I'm just using you."

"Using me? How?" Seto sighed as he tried to sort out what he was trying to say. He wasn't used to articulating his thoughts as much as he found himself doing with Alistair.

"Obviously I'm physically attracted to you which in and of itself is unique, and I think you're fascinating which is also unusual for me since most people don't hold my attention which leads me to believe that maybe my interest in you is just the result of curiosity and I only want to keep you around to satisfy that curiosity. And I'm not sure if you've noticed, but I need my space and-."

"And what?" Alistair interrupted him. "You're afraid I'm going to want to be glued to your side? Do you know me at all? I need my space too, and it was your idea to share your bed, not mine. I don't want to change anything about what we have already."

"Then why bring it up at all?"

"I didn't mean to say that out loud, but I'm glad that I did, because now at least we can acknowledge what's going on here." Seto flicked a piece of lint off of his light blue pajama shirtsleeve while he formulated a response. He didn't really want to 'talk about it' anymore now that they'd established that nothing was going to change.

"Let's go to bed," he said finally. "I have to get up early tomorrow." Alistair knew that meant that Seto was agreeing to let things stay as they were, though he would never admit that Alistair had been the one to change his mind because that would be akin to confessing that he'd been wrong which he would never do.

As they settled into bed together, Seto lying facing the wall, Alistair facing the door, Seto tried to stop his mind from reeling. Alistair loved him. Alistair _loved_ him. At least he said he did, and presumably thought he did. But why? What was there about him _to_ love? Alistair had always pointed out the things about Seto he didn't like, and the only positive thing he'd ever even alluded to was Mokuba. Was that reason enough to _love_ him?

_You're a good person_. Seto had been called a lot of things in his life, but never that. What did Alistair see in him that was good besides the way he'd raised his brother? _Gozaburo would have left me on that plane to die, and he certainly wouldn't have put me up in his house once he saw that I was alive, but you did. _It was true that it would never even have occurred to him to leave Alistair to die, but he wasn't sure that that qualified him as a good person or just a decent one.

His entire life was a contradiction. He was constantly being told that he was someone no one wanted to be around, that he was coldhearted, unfeeling, greedy and arrogant. And it was true that objectively he came across that way, he'd tried very hard to as a means of self-preservation, but his actual actions were the complete opposite.

He had turned Kaiba Corp into a gaming company because he hated the idea of funding wars he didn't believe in and getting innocent people killed, and because gaming was something that he enjoyed and knew how to improve to make other people happy. Kaiba Land was a project he'd dreamed of since he was living in the orphanage. An amusement park to which he would invite orphans so that they could have a break from the bleakness of the lot they had been given. Sure he was competitive, and along the way his victories had fed his ego, but he had been taught that being the best came with bragging rights.

He scrunched his eyes shut tighter. When had his life become so complicated? Part of him wanted to blame Alistair for ripping his perfectly ordered existence asunder and another part wanted to thank him.

He could hear Alistair's deep breathing, indicating that he'd already fallen asleep. Shifting ever so slightly so as not to wake him up, he looked over at the redhead who had rolled over onto his back without Seto noticing, his head still tilted to the side, the gentle rising and falling of his chest visible even through the quilt. It was the first time Seto had ever seen Alistair sleep peacefully. It suddenly occurred to him that Alistair was really no different than anyone else. He was going to leave too. _Resent him, push him away_, a voice in his mind that sounded quite a bit like Gozaburo whispered. _Look at yourself; he's already messing with your judgment. He's fucked you up and now he's going to leave. Typical_.

Alistair rolled over in his sleep, closer to Seto. Seto regarded the sleeping man and just like that the voice vanished. The stone on Alistair's necklace glittered in the moonlight and Seto recognized the color though it took him a moment to place it; it was the same color as the light from the Seal of Orichalcos card. He puzzled over the similarity for a moment before Alistair sighed in his sleep and murmured something, opening his eyes long enough to focus on Seto, smile slightly and rest his hand on Seto's arm before falling asleep again.

When Seto lay back down he could feel the heat of Alistair's body next to his and settled up against it so that Alistair's forehead was resting against his upper back. He couldn't remember a single time in his life that he'd ever been so close to someone.

* * *

**Author's Note: **I think it goes without saying that this marks the beginning of the second half of the story. We're halfway there. All that remains is getting Seto to where Alistair is (which could take a while). Though both characters come with a lot of baggage, Seto's inability to connect with people is what makes writing stories with him so difficult; he fights love tooth and nail the bastard. Still, he's come a long way already...


	18. Hot and Cold

**Disclaimer: **I have another confession to make, so complicated let me try to explain: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh!

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_"You come on like a flame then you turn a cold shoulder._

_I wanna give you my love, but you'll just take a little piece of my heart_

_And you'll just tear it apart."_

_~ Fire and Ice, _Pat Benatar

**Chapter 18**

When his alarm went off at seven-thirty (he allowed himself an extra hour of sleep on weekends) Seto's eyes snapped open. He reached out and pushed a button on his phone to shut off the incessant beeping and realized, groggily, that there was a slight weight on his right shoulder. Glancing over he saw that Alistair was resting his head in the hollow of his neck. Much as he wished he didn't have to wake him, Seto had to get up to get ready for work and was aware that as soon as he moved the right side of his body Alistair would wake up. He made a valiant effort to be gentle, moving as slowly as possible, but to no avail. Alistair opened his eyes and yawned. Seto took the opportunity to get out of bed.

"What time is it?" Alistair asked sleepily. "It's still dark outside."

"Go back to sleep, it's only 7:30."

"Oh right. You have to work. Should I go back to my room?"

"Just go back to sleep," Seto repeated." Alistair nodded, rolled over and closed his eyes. He fell back asleep almost immediately.

Seto went about his morning routine as usual, save for making the bed, and was downstairs for breakfast promptly by eight O'clock.

"Good morning," Trudy said cheerfully when she brought him his food and coffee as well as the newspaper. He nodded curtly, unwilling to talk to her until he had some caffeine coursing through his system.

He flipped the newspaper open to the economics section and was pleased to see that there was a small article about Kaiba Corp's rising stock prices since the announcement of the Grand Championship Tournament. People knew that dueling tournaments drew large crowds and even bigger profits.

Now that it was becoming clear how big of a success the tournament was going to be it was time to do what he'd been putting off since conceiving the idea for Grand Championship in the first place: give Yugi a call. He had no idea what Yugi was doing these days since they so seldom ran into each other. He was too old to be in school still unless he'd decided to go to college, but Seto would have heard about it if he had so he could only assume that Yugi worked at his grandfather's game shop and decided to call that afternoon. He was hoping to use Yugi as a main attraction of sorts since he wouldn't be dueling himself.

Much as Pegasus had offered the winner of Duelist Kingdom the opportunity to face him in a match, Seto wanted to offer the winner of Grand Championship the chance to face the 'King of Games'.

Seto resented the title 'King of Games' almost as much as he resented the man who bore it. Duelists like Yugi and Joey Wheeler annoyed him to no end because they dueled without strategy, relied on luck, and still won match after match gaining fame, fortune, and fans along the way and had the nerve to preach about the 'heart of the cards' as though they were a cut above people like Seto who spent weeks slaving over formulating strategies. Still, if partnering with Yugi was what it took, then he'd swallow his pride and make it happen.

Sufficiently caffeinated, Seto set his mug aside and dug into the eggs, ham, and toast that Trudy had made for him. When she walked back into the room fifteen minutes later to collect his dishes, she noted the open newspaper.

"Anything interesting going on?"

"They announced that stock's going up."

"That's good then. I knew it would all be fine," she commented, though her knowledge of economics and companies and how they coincided was minimal.

"Thank you," he said as she stacked his mug on top of the empty plate.

"You're quite welcome," she replied, a bit startled. It had been quite some time since Seto had thanked her. She wondered if Alistair wasn't rubbing off on him a bit. Which reminded her: she had to go and collect the laundry later. Seto was easy because he actually used the hamper in his room whereas Mokuba and Alistair always had to scrounge around for all their dirty clothes when she knocked.

"What do you mean he's not there?" Seto demanded of Yugi's grandfather two hours later.

"Exactly what I said," the old man replied calmly. "He's not here. He's still in California with his friends taking a well earned vacation."

"When is he coming back?"

"I'm not sure."

"Hmm…"

"He and his friends are staying with a friend of mine: Professor Hawkins, I can get a message to Yugi through him if you want." That wouldn't be good enough.

"That won't be necessary." He was about to hang up when the old man spoke again.

"Is this about that new tournament of yours?"

"That's none of your business old man," he snapped and ended the call. So Yugi was taking a vacation, was he? No matter, there were still ways to get him back in time for the tournament, he just needed to make a few more calls. He looked up the location of Professor Hawkins' lab which turned out to be a part of his residence. Following up on this stroke of luck, Seto hacked into the computers of all the airports in the vicinity to see if Yugi or any of his friends had booked a return flight yet though he suspected not and turned out to be right. None of the members of the Geek Squad showed up in any of the databases. Satisfied, he called Mokuba's cell phone.

"Seto?" Mokuba sounded sleepy and Seto realized he'd woken his brother up, "what's up?"

"How do you feel about taking a trip to California?"

"California?" Mokuba's confusion intensified. "What for?" he managed to ask before yawning.

"I need you to pick up Yugi for me and his friends too if you have to."

"What are you talking about?" Seto sighed, hating it when no one seemed to be on his wavelength.

"Obviously Yugi can't be in the tournament if he isn't here. He and the dweebs are still in California. I checked and they haven't booked a return flight yet so I need someone to fly out to bring him back. You're the only person I trust to do that."

"What makes you think they'd come with me?"

"Pegasus flew them out to California the first time; I doubt they can afford a return flight."

"Oh, good point. When do you want me to go?" Seto contemplated. If Yugi and his friends really couldn't afford the return fare they were stuck in California indefinitely which meant he could send Mokuba to fetch them anytime he wanted.

"I'll give it a couple more weeks."

"Gotcha. Hey, could Alistair fly me?" Seto tensed. He hadn't even thought about that. Mokuba certainly would be safer with Alistair than any of his other pilots, but he wasn't sure that he wanted Yugi and his friends to know that the former Doma member was still connected to him lest they draw less than savory conclusions.

"I'm not sure that's a good idea."

"Why not? Do you still not trust him?"

"It's just not a good idea. End of story. Have a good day, okay?"

"Ok," Mokuba said slowly. "Bye."

"Bye." Mokuba set his cell phone down on his nightstand and stared at it thoughtfully for a moment. Seto had been acting so strangely the last couple of months which of course Mokuba was already attributing mostly to Alistair, but there was a darker undercurrent to his brother's mood as well. Seto, though he was pulling longer hours than ever before, seemed to be becoming less and less invested in Kaiba Corp, calling on Mokuba to take on more of an active role. It was giving Mokuba a bad feeling that he couldn't quite place, but he was starting to worry about Seto.

After deciding what to make the boys for lunch (Caesar Salad with tuna fish and homemade dressing) and taking a small break, Trudy decided to get started on the laundry. She hadn't seen Alistair yet which led her to believe he was still in bed, so she headed first for Mokuba's room since she knew she'd undoubtedly have to hunt around for a sock or two. She started to gather the clothes lying scattered across the floor into the hamper sitting by his bed half empty. As she picked up a pair of his jeans from under his desk a small object fell out of one of the pockets. Intending to reach down and put the object on his desk, she was surprised by the plastic texture. Squinting down she saw that it was a condom and almost dropped it.

_And so it begins_, she thought grimly, setting the condom next to the computer mouse. She wondered if Seto knew about his younger brother being sexually active. Probably not. From what she knew of fourteen year olds, they were very private when it came to such exploits unless surrounded by their friends. She stored the piece of information away to mention to him later, though she wondered if the young CEO would be of any help given (as far as she knew) his lack of knowledge on the subject and status as brother not father. It was times like these she pitied the siblings their lack of a guardian of any kind which was why she tried so hard to be a sort of a mother figure for them. She decided that if Seto couldn't or wouldn't intervene in this situation, she would. By her reckoning, Mokuba was far too young for such things. She stuffed the condom into the pocket of her flowery housedress.

That done, she continued collecting laundry and carried the hamper down to the laundry room to be sorted later that day.

Alistair forced himself to get out of bed once the sun started to shine right in his face through the window. He stretched, cracking several joints, and sat up, the red sheet slipping down his chest. He couldn't fathom how Seto did anything but lie in bed all day with a mattress as comfortable as the one he had. He stood only to realize that his left foot was asleep. Stumbling, he grabbed onto one of the bed's posts for balance, more fully alert. He looked around for his clothes and saw that someone, presumably Seto, had folded them and set them on top of the hamper by the door. Shaking his head at Seto's insatiable desire to have everything in its place, he made for the bathroom to take a shower.

Trudy was humming to herself, something she'd heard on the radio, as she mounted the stairs leading to the second floor, on her way to retrieving Seto's laundry. Approaching the door she was shocked to hear the unmistakable sound of water running in the shower. But how could that be? Seto had left for work almost three hours ago, hadn't he? She knocked politely before opening the door, intending to take the hamper and go when she saw several items of clothing folded on top of it: a black muscle shirt and dark wash jeans. Her eyebrows rose in astonishment as her eyes roamed across the rest of the room, taking in the unmade bed and then the open bathroom door. The glass doors of the shower were fogged with steam, but she was able to make out a flash of red hair before hastily looking away.

The laundry forgotten, she closed the door again and stood in the hallway trying to completely process what she'd just stumbled across. She had long since suspected that Alistair had eyes for Seto, but never once had she considered the possibility that the attraction would be mutual, though it did explain Seto's disinterest in Momo.

Still in shock she padded over to Alistair's room since she now knew he wasn't there. Sewell streaked under the bed when she opened the door.

"It's alright, it's only me." But Sewell remained hidden from sight. She began gathering Alistair's dirty clothes off the floor, her mind starting to make sense of several things that had seemed odd to her recently. All the times Alistair had had bruises (_love bites_) on his neck, the cagy way he and Seto talked about each other, the change in atmosphere between the two, it was all coming together.

Trudy had absolutely no experience when it came to gay men, the main reason she'd laid off bothering Alistair about dating, but despite the thought of Seto and Alistair…_that way_ putting her off, she couldn't help but feel happy that Seto had finally lowered his defenses. She had no idea what had brought the two together since they had nothing in common in so far as she knew, but since she cared about both of them she was fine with seeing them end up as a couple, she only hoped it would last.

Alistair reluctantly got out of the shower and proceeded to get dressed in the clothes he'd had on the day before, before heading back to his room to retrieve Sewell and find Trudy to see if she by any chance had any food for him. He didn't have to go far; she was just leaving his room as he approached.

"Morning Trudy," he greeted her, grateful beyond measure that she'd come to his room before going to Seto's.

"Good morning Alistair," she replied, sounding flustered. A drop of water from his hair fell onto the carpet and he realized he ought to explain that away, not that he thought she'd jump to the conclusion that he'd been in Seto's room.

"I decided to take a morning swim," he invented. She nodded.

"That's nice. Lunch will be ready in an hour or so. Oh, speaking of which, I think I left the kettle on, excuse me." She bustled past him and hurried on down the hallway. Wondering vaguely what had put Trudy in such an odd mood, he proceeded into the bedroom where he was greeted by a meowing ball of calico fur that pounced on him as soon as he entered the room.

"Hey," he laughed, cradling the cat in his arms before she could shred the front of his shirt, "happy to see me?" She purred and rubbed her head against his chest. "I guess that's a yes. You're probably hungry too, huh? I didn't mean to sleep in so late, I'm sorry." Still holding the happy cat, he turned and left again, heading down to the kitchen to fill her food bowl. Afterwards he decided he'd give Darren a call to see if he had time to hang out.

Seto was a workaholic and he had no problem admitting that to anyone, but he was also human, and like most people, liked the weekends because his hours were shorter, though still longer than anyone else's. He left the KC skyscraper at eleven O'clock. Outside, the wind had picked up and he found himself stuffing his hands in his pockets to keep them warm. When had it gotten so cold? The phrase '_the frost is on the pumpkins'_ flitted through his mind and as he walked to the parking garage he tried to figure out where he'd heard it before. It was as he was unlocking his car that he remembered it as something his mother used to say. That happened from time to time: some random expression one of his parents had used or a book or movie they had enjoyed would pop into his head. It happened less frequently now, but maybe because of that it almost creeped him out as though his parents were speaking to him from beyond the grave.

Speeding home as was his way, Seto realized with a start that he actually had something, that is to say, someone to speed home to. Someone that he was going to share his bed with, that he was going to wake up with, someone besides his brother who would care if he didn't come home. Alistair would be there waiting for him. The thought kept him warm as he braved the chilly air in order to allow his retinas to be scanned to open the mansion's gate.

He half expected Alistair to be lying in his bed when he got upstairs, but he wasn't. Seto was far too proud to go to the other man's room to invite him in, so he merely left his door open and allowed the light to flood the hallway, a sign that Alistair, if he saw, was welcome. He kidded himself into thinking that he didn't care if the redhead came or not as he brushed his teeth and changed into his pajamas, but when he heard Alistair's light knock on the open door he was happy, though he masked the emotion as he set his toothbrush aside and joined Alistair in the main part of the bedroom only to see that Alistair's cat had followed him.

"My invitation was extended to you, not you and your cat," Seto said, eyeing the small animal that had tried to hide itself behind Alistair's legs upon seeing him, a person that was not her human.

"I know," Alistair replied, closing the door. "But I hate leaving her locked in that room all by herself."

"It's a _cat_," Seto snapped, "not a person. Cats like being by themselves." Not that he really had any idea what he was talking about.

"Come on, are you really going to turn her out?" Alistair bent down to pick up Sewell who stared unblinkingly up at Seto from the safety of Alistair's arms. The cat was very cute which even Seto couldn't deny.

"Hmph. Fine, the hairball can stay, but if it sheds on my sheets…"

"She will, but not that much, so as long as you're not allergic, you aren't, are you?"

"Not to my knowledge."

"Then it's no big deal. Besides, Trudy's the one who has to wash the sheets, not you, and she told me that it's fine."

"Alright, whatever, I already said it could stay." He turned to return to the bathroom.

"She."

"What?"

"You keep saying 'it'. Sewell's a 'she'."

"_What. Ever_." Alistair knew Seto well enough at this point to know that this was Seto's way of acknowledging that he was, to some degree, wrong, and would amend the behavior. While Seto finished in the bathroom, he pulled his clothes off and sat on the bed having already brushed his teeth in his own room. He patted the covers next to him until Sewell hopped up. She kneaded the blankets for a solid twenty seconds before curling up and laying her head on her front paws. She might have fallen asleep there had Seto not re-entered the room just then. She immediately jumped off the bed and hid underneath.

"You scared her," Alistair scolded him, getting down on his hands and knees on the floor to fish her out. "She's really skittish."

"You don't say?" Seto shot back sarcastically, not able to keep his eyes from wondering down the lines of Alistair's body as he tried to convince Sewell to come out of hiding, his ass perfectly sculpted by his black boxer briefs.

He walked up behind Alistair who was still talking to the cat, and trailed his fingertips lazily across his bare back before sitting on the edge of the bed. Alistair looked up, getting Seto's message loud and clear, and joined him on the bed.

Soon Seto's pajama top joined Alistair's clothes on the floor. Seto pushed Alistair onto his back and reached over him to flick the light switch on the wall over his bedside table, leaving nothing but the moonlight to see by.

Alistair traced the muscles of Seto's back with his hands before pulling him closer so that their chests were pressed together, enjoying Seto's solid weight on top of him. Seto found himself unconsciously grinding into the man beneath him as they kissed. His hand found it's way into Alistair's flaming red hair, vivid even in the semidarkness, and anchored itself there. Something was building, they both sensed that much, though Alistair had a better idea of what that might be than Seto. He worked a hand under the waistband of Seto's pants, then a second, making it quite clear that he wanted them to come off. Without thinking, Seto sat up long enough to comply, tossing the thin cotton pants off the side of the bed before returning to Alistair.

Hands roamed over skin, tongues explored mouths, and lips found their way to the hollows of necks.

Eager to take things to the next level, Alistair rolled the pair over so that he was on top looking down into Seto's ice-blue eyes. He stroked the side of the brunette's face before kissing first his mouth, then his neck, upper chest and so on.

By the time Alistair had reached his abs, Seto realized what he was gearing to do and tensed, not sure he wanted to relinquish that much control. Alistair lay a reassuring hand on Seto's chest, sensing the CEO's uncertainty.

He dragged his tongue along the sensitive skin above the waistband of Seto's black boxer-briefs, his free hand curling around Seto's cloth-covered bulge.

At that point, Seto made the choice to give in to the sensation and released the tension in his muscles, lay his head back on the pillow, and closed his eyes as Alistair began gently nuzzling his cock through his underwear.

Alistair was quite grateful for his one-night-stands now since they had allowed him the opportunity to learn a few tricks he wouldn't otherwise have known. He hooked his fingers under the elastic of Seto's underwear and pulled down, Seto lifting his hips ever so slightly until the briefs were at his knees at which point he kicked them off manually.

Seto hadn't touched himself since the first time he'd gotten a hard-on, hadn't seen the point, which turned out to be to his detriment in the current situation. As soon as Alistair took him halfway into his mouth he couldn't help but let a sigh of pleasure escape his lips. Alistair took the initiative and did his best to elicit more such sounds from Seto, an endeavor in which he was successful. Seto's breathing turned ragged and it took all of his self-control to pull himself together enough to tell Alistair to stop.

Confused, Alistair did as he was told. Seto sat up and captured Alistair's face in his hands, bringing him in for a rough kiss. The next thing he knew, Alistair was lying on his back with Seto effectively pinning his wrists above his head, a slight smirk on his face.

"Gotcha," he said softly before proceeding to mimic what Alistair had done and slowly kissing down the redhead's chest. As he did so he fumbled with Alistair's underwear, pulling them down to reveal his erection. Seto was never one to do anything half-assed and Alistair let out a small moan as Seto struggled to overcome his gag reflex before eventually settling into a rhythm that had Alistair's toes curling in no time.

Alistair felt himself starting to get close.

"Mmm, Seto, I'm gonna cum," he said, shutting his eyes as the pressure in his lower stomach continued to build and the muscles in his upper thighs started to tense.

Seto didn't have time to figure out what to do about that before Alistair had already shot twice into his mouth. He was so startled that he backed off, causing the rest of Alistair's cum to land on his own stomach. Alistair was momentarily too spent to care. His muscles relaxed again and he sank into the bed as his breathing returned to normal. Seto swallowed, the thick liquid slowly easing its way down his throat.

"Here, let me finish you," Alistair said huskily, reaching out to do just that.

"It's fine," Seto replied, intending to retrieve his clothes from the floor. Alistair sat up and laid a hand on his arm to stop him. "Seriously, I don't want it." Alistair nodded, disheartened to know that Seto was still holding back.

"I'm going to take a shower," Seto announced after a pause.

"Could I possibly join you?" Alistair asked tentatively, indicating the drying cum on his stomach. Seto bit his lower lip.

"Just go ahead; I'll take one tomorrow." Alistair chose not to argue.

"Ok."

Once he heard water running in the shower, Seto put his pajamas back on and lay on his back on the bed, attempting to sort out what had just transpired. He couldn't fathom what had come over him all of a sudden and caused him to lose control like that. Then again, Alistair seemed to have a talent for bringing out sides of himself he'd thought were long gone, why not this primal side too?

But did he want to be the person he felt himself becoming thanks to Alistair? Someone who let their guard down, someone who let themselves be vulnerable, someone who admitted that they couldn't always be strong? It went against every fiber of his being. Weak people like that were doomed to be unsuccessful; Alistair himself was proof of that. He had attacked Seto in fits of passion and had failed, Seto's calculated, unemotional strategies triumphing and winning him their second duel.

So what if he was afraid of failure, wasn't everyone? Was that really such a crime? In a world where a person had two choices: to be a wolf or to be a sheep, he'd sooner be a wolf. If Alistair wanted to be a sheep that was his business and it would probably get him killed, but that had nothing to do with Seto. He had tried. He had offered Alistair a job and Alistair didn't take it, his loss.

Alistair returned from the bathroom a few minutes later, his hair still damp from the shower.

"Are you still awake?" he asked squinting in the semidarkness.

"Yeah, what of it?" Seto asked moodily.

"Nothing, I was just wondering," Alistair replied, taken aback by Seto's sudden hostility.

"By the way, this is the last night you sleep here. After this you sleep in your own room. That is to say: a room in my house that I'm letting you occupy." Alistair's eyebrows contracted. What the hell had happened since he'd left to take a shower?

"Ok…" Sewell trotted out from under the bed at the sound of Alistair's voice and began circling his legs, purring.

"And the cat is not sleeping in this bed, got it?"

"What's the matter?"

"The matter is that you overstepped your bounds by thinking you could just move into my room because I said you could sleep here _once, _a mistake I won't be making again."

"What are you talking about?" Alistair demanded. He could only assume that Seto…no…_Kaiba_, was feeling emasculated somehow and was lashing out at him to compensate. Typical. "You know what?" he shot back. "I don't even care. Whatever." He yanked his clothes back on, grabbed Sewell (which she didn't appreciate) and stormed out of the room, not even bothering to close the door behind him.

As soon as he was gone Seto breathed a mental sigh of relief. This was step one to getting his life back to the way it was. All he had to do was keep Alistair at bay for a few more weeks, then he'd fly away and be out of Seto's life forever. Though this thought was satisfying to his brain, the emptiness on the left side of his bed was not lost on his heart which mourned the loss of his sleeping companion.

Back in his room Alistair paced back and forth, still fueled by adrenaline from his anger towards Kaiba. The man had no right to play him like that! To give and take what he wanted without considering Alistair's feelings. Alistair was holding absolutely nothing back; he had always been honest and upfront with Kaiba about how he felt, the CEO could at least pay him the same courtesy! Then again, maybe he was giving Kaiba too much credit. Perhaps Darren had been right when he'd accused Alistair of making excuses for Kaiba treating him poorly because he had built Kaiba up to be something he wasn't: someone capable of being saved.

_Well fine_, he thought angrily, _if he wants to push me away so be it. I shouldn't have wasted my time on someone who clearly has no interest in putting his time into me._

He stopped pacing and commenced to work out until he was exhausted and finally, at almost four in the morning, collapsed on the couch and fell asleep.

* * *

**Author's Note: **There are certain key scenes in every fanfiction and we've come to another one here: the first sex scene between the eventual slash pairing. I was aiming for 'tasteful', how'd I do?

Also: There are certain key points I was trying to make with this section:

1. Seto is falling for Alistair and it's freaking him out.

2. Alistair has had it up to here with Seto's hot and cold treatment of him.


	19. Unrequited Love

**Disclaimer: **I cross my heart and hope to die that I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!

* * *

_"You're hard to hug, tough to talk to_

_The only time you open up is when we get undressed_

_It almost feels like a joke to play out the part_

_When you are not the starring role in someone else's heart."_

_~Starring Role, _Marina and the Diamonds

**Chapter 19**

When Seto awoke the next morning, he decided to try and go the whole day without thinking about Alistair even once which of course only served to make him think about him all the more, at least until Trudy's unexpected news effectively distracted him.

"I was collecting your brother's laundry yesterday when I found this," she explained, fishing around in her pocket for the condom she'd confiscated from Mokuba's room and holding it up. "I don't know how much authority you have over him, but I personally think he's far too young to be needing something like this and I think someone ought to intervene." Seto stared at the square plastic package, realizing that he'd never seen one before, though he knew what it was. "I mean, where did he even get this?" she continued. "One of his friends?"

"I supp—." Seto suddenly realized that the two people depicted on the wrapper were both men and he guessed (correctly) that Mokuba had gotten the condom from Alistair who'd probably gotten it at a club.

"Is everything alright?" Trudy asked tentatively as she saw Seto set his jaw in anger.

"I'll take care of this later," he said curtly, taking the package from her and stuffing it into his pocket before abruptly standing up. "Thank you for telling me, but I have to go."

He seethed all the way to work over Alistair taking the liberty of corrupting Mokuba.

Alistair decided after waking up the next morning to pay Darren a visit and see if he couldn't provide some distraction from his heartache, for by the time he woke up he knew that being so blatantly rejected by Kaiba had broken his heart. It was all he could think of to describe the heaviness in his chest, like a weight dragging him down.

After breakfast he called Darren.

"You must be psychic; I was just about to call you," Darren said after he'd picked up.

"What for?"

"I was out with the gang last night, sorry for not inviting you by the way but it was really spontaneous. Anyway, while we were out we met someone I think you might like to meet."

"Who?" Alistair asked warily.

"A girl. Her name's Moira. Apparently she and her family emigrated here not too long ago to escape the war. I told her I knew someone else who'd done the same thing and she seemed really interested in meeting you. And don't worry: I told her that you're not into girls."

"Wait, what?" There was a lot to process. Someone from his country? Here?

"So do you want to meet her? I have her number."

"Uh…yeah, I guess so." He had wanted a distraction after all.

"Cool. I'll give her a call and see if she has time to hang out today and then call you back."

"Ok, sure." He got off the phone with Darren and thoughtfully stowed his cell phone in the pocket of his jeans. Someone from his homeland…He wondered what her story was. It was very hard to leave the country right now, so the fact that she and her whole family could have 'emigrated' as Darren had put it, led him to assume that they must have been rich enough to pay to escape across the border. Still, even though they likely came from very different circumstances, it would be interesting to talk to someone of his same background. A few minutes later his cell phone started buzzing. He accepted Darren's call.

"Ok, so she says that she has some church thing until twelve, but that after that she could meet for a coffee or something. What do you say? Want to meet at my place in a half an hour or so to hang out a little before we go meet up with her?"

"Uh…sure. I'll see you soon. Bye."

"Ciao!"

Alistair tracked Trudy down to tell her that he wouldn't be home for lunch before hopping on his motorcycle and taking off towards downtown.

"Hey man, what's up?" Darren asked as he let Alistair into his and Britney's apartment approximately thirty minutes later. "You got here fast."

"I like driving fast," Alistair explained simply, taking off his riding gloves and stowing them in an inside pocket of his jacket which he then hung on Darren's spindly coat rack.

"I feel you. Do you want something to drink? I have beer."

"It's not even twelve yet."

"Suit yourself," Darren shrugged, taking a swig from an open beer resting on the coffee table. "And sit down. You always look like you're about to bolt."

"Sorry," Alistair apologized, taking a seat on the couch next to Darren. "So how's school?" Darren rolled his eyes.

"I had to let my prof take a look at my portfolio on Friday which always sucks because a professor's critique is always harsh, but this guy is a snob on top of that and has a very specific idea of what 'art' is which really puts me off so that even when he likes my work, which does happen occasionally, I come away from the situation wishing I could give him a good kick. How about you? How are things in Kaiba Land?" Darren laughed. "You get it, because that's what the amusement park is called?"

"Ha, ha," Alistair said dryly, the mention of Kaiba bringing him back to the exchange from the night before. "I don't really want to talk about it."

"That bad?" Darren's dark eyes were sympathetic and Alistair found himself telling him about what had happened…well, most of it. He left out a few choice details, but Darren got the gist.

"First of all," he started once Alistair had concluded his tale. "I am insanely jealous of you. That being said, I don't envy you having to deal with his personality, at least not the way you've described it."

"What personality? He barely let's me see it. Every time I feel like we're starting to be on the same page, he slams the book shut. It's so frustrating because I understand why he's being that way, I just wish there was some way to make him see that he doesn't have to."

"Did he have some other relationship that went south? You know what they say: once bitten twice shy." The expression reminded Alistair of Sewell and of how she was so skittish around people, undoubtedly because of how she'd been treated by them in the past and he suddenly had a flash of insight. As sure as he was that many of his conjectures about Kaiba's (_Seto's_) behaviors and moods were correct, he had missed the most important thing even though Kaiba had said it himself: _I can't feel things the way you feel things, ok? I don't know how… _Kaiba's only interactions with people seemed to be bad. There was the matter of Gozaburo being an obvious aggressor which had of course led to Seto being quite guarded and prone to lashing out at people, who in turn snapped back, ignorant as to why he was so ill tempered. There was Mokuba, but, if his cat analogy held any weight, Mokuba wasn't someone Seto viewed as a threat because he represented more of a kitten, something to be protected,

"Um…Earth to Alistair."

"What? Oh, sorry," Alistair apologized, realizing he'd spaced out. "What was your question?"

"If he'd had a relationship before you that went south."

"I don't think so," Alistair said.

"Hmm…it's a tough one. I mean, on the one hand you're living and sleeping with _Seto Kaiba_; no one would give that up. But on the other hand, if we ignore that fact, I'd be inclined to tell you to ditch him and find someone that treats you better."

"It won't even matter soon anyway."

"How come?"

"I'm leaving soon. That's how come."

"Wait, what?" Darren sounded dismayed. "Why?"

"I'm getting my pilot's license soon and then I want to go home to help out somehow, maybe even evacuate some people."

"You can fly planes?" Darren goggled at him, dumbfounded.

"Yeah. I was working for Doma as a pilot among other things until…until it got disbanded."

"You can fly planes and you never thought to mention it?"

"Why would I?" Alistair asked, confused.

"Oh I don't know, because it's insanely cool maybe. And wait a minute. Did you say you worked for Doma? Isn't that the group that tried to buy out Kaiba Corp not too long ago?" Alistair nodded and Darren whistled. "No wonder ole' Kaiba's being so hot and cold with you. You're cute but you also worked for the people trying to take over his company. I wouldn't know what to do with you either, hence: hate sex. Whatever happened to Doma anyway? They were set for a full takeover and then just fell off the face of the earth."

"Our boss died unexpectedly." It wasn't a lie, but it was far from the whole truth, though Alistair himself wasn't completely clear what the whole truth was given that he'd been soulless at the time of Dartz's demise.

"Oh. That's too bad. I would have liked to have seen Kaiba Corp under new management. Nothing against Kaiba personally of course, but everyone knows that big companies are bound to be rampant with corrupt, money-hungry idiots if they aren't shaken up every so often. Besides, even if the whole company went under, it's not like _he'd_ be out to dry, just his lackeys."

"Could we talk about something else maybe?" Alistair implored him. It was all fine and well when _he_ criticized Kaiba Corp, but hearing Darren talk badly about Seto's company was leading him to want to defend his honor.

"Yeah, alright. Let's talk about how you're going to fly me to Europe for all my vacations from now on."

"I will if you pay me."

"Yeah, yeah. You've been hanging around Kaiba too long, can't even pay a friend a favor." Again, Alistair found himself biting his tongue to stop himself from coming to Seto's defense. "So how does someone who's what, twenty, get a pilot's license? I thought that required a lot of schooling."

"I turn twenty next month, and I got lucky. When I joined Doma my boss, Dartz, paid for private lessons and once I could fly he started relying on me to pilot a lot of our flights."

"But didn't you just say that you're getting your license soon, as in, you don't have one yet?"

"Right."

"So you were flying illegally?"  
"Yes."

"What kind of an organization _was_ this? I mean, how were you able to even…?" His question died on his lips and another took its place. "Alistair, are you even in the country legally?"

"No," Alistair answered, realizing it for the first time. He wondered if Kaiba knew that.

"Jesus man, what are you going to do? That's pretty serious." Darren had a point. He had no license for his motorcycle, no passport, no identification of any kind. If he were caught, say, speeding, he'd be deported immediately. And come to think of it, without proper ID he wouldn't be let back in the country if he left. His stomach sank at the thought of never being able to see Seto again.

"I don't know."

"Couldn't Kaiba do something? Get you fake ID?"

"I don't know…he's done a lot for me already. He's the one who set me up to get my pilot's license which was already something illegal; I don't want to push it. Besides, he doesn't want to deal with me right now."

"If he cares about you at all he'll help you with this. I would."

"Thanks."

"No, I mean it," Darren insisted, looking serious for the first time. Alistair suddenly realized what Darren was trying to convey. The room seemed to shrink and get ten degrees hotter. "I joke around a lot, but I honestly really like you Alistair. And I know that you're hung up on Kaiba, and I completely get it, and I don't have nearly as much to offer you as he does, but I'd actually treat you the way you deserve to be treated. You're one of the most amazing people I've ever met, and unlike most people I know you actually practice what you preach.

My friends and I talk the big talk about how, given half the chance, we'd go off and organize protests against the world's injustices, but we don't. You actually took part in a movement that would have meant something if I understood Doma's creed correctly. And you're really kind. Don't think I didn't notice that when we go out you give all that money to the beggars even though most people just walk right past them. And now you want to risk your life going to help your country. You're incredible." Alistair looked into Darren's earnest face and wished that he could just forget about his feelings for Seto and say yes to Darren who he knew probably _would_ value him. But he couldn't. He looked away.

"I can't, I'm sorry."

"Why? Because you don't like me that way, or because you're waiting for him to give a damn about you?" Darren asked hotly. Alistair thought about it. Would he have fallen for Darren were Seto not in the picture? He liked him, and valued his opinions, and they had fooled around together which Alistair hadn't minded, though he wasn't partial to Darren's fondness for rough blowjobs, but was there any kind of spark there? Alistair wasn't sure; there were too many factors.

"I don't know," he replied honestly. "That's a really complicated question."

"I can make it simpler if you want," Darren said, moving in as though to kiss him. Alistair scooted out of his reach.

"That's not fair."

"How is this not fair? It's a pretty damn good way to figure out how you feel about someone I'd say." He leaned in again. He smelled of beer. Cornered, Alistair reached out to push Darren away, placing both hands on his chest and shoving. The unexpected amount of force that Alistair exerted sent Darren sprawling backwards.

"No," Alistair said firmly.

"You're stronger than you look," Darren ventured after a pause, sitting up, laughing, and returning to his drink, obviously trying to smooth the moment over. Alistair chose to let him though he was still unnerved by it.

"I work out." Darren glanced at the clock display on his cell phone and started.

"Hey, we should get going if we want to be on time to meet up with Moira at the cafe. You gonna take your bike?"

"I was planning on it."

"If I give you directions, could I hitch a ride?"

"Do you have a helmet?" Normally Alistair wouldn't care since he knew that he was a good driver, but now that he was conscious of what getting pulled over without any kind of ID could mean, he wasn't as inclined to break the rules.

"No, but Britney has one for her scooter. It's probably a little small for me, but I'll get it on one way or another, besides; she has kind of a big head. Hang on, let me grab it." He returned a moment later with a bright purple helmet, looking dubious.

After telling Alistair how to get the university's student hangout and café, it took him a minute and a half of yanking, but Darren was finally able to force Britney's helmet over his head, though it left his cheeks so squished that he couldn't talk. Alistair revved his motorcycle up and slid forward on the seat to allow room for his friend. He opened the visor on his helmet and said:

"We're basically the same size, so I won't be able to hold us both up if we get stopped by a red light. If we do, you have to put your feet down too, ok?" Darren could do little more than nod. "Alright then let's go." He felt Darren's grip on him tighten as they roared down the street, the wind whipping past them. It was cold and Alistair wished he would have worn a scarf, but other than that, riding his bike was as exhilarating as ever.

They arrived at their destination a little under ten minutes later. The "café" turned out to be little more than a coffee machine in the basement of one of the school buildings with tables scattered around.

"Moira, hi!" Darren greeted a slight, red-haired girl seated at a table facing windows looking out at ground level on the dumpsters outside. She looked up from the book she'd been reading and bookmarked her page with a napkin.

"Hi Darren," she said back, looking not at Darren, but at Alistair as the two sat down opposite her, her grey eyes taking in his appearance from behind a pair of wire-rimmed glasses.

"You do, you guys have the exact same hair color," Darren commented. "Wild. Right, so Moira, this is Alistair, Alistair, this is Moira."

"Nice to meet you," Moira said softly, reaching out to shake Alistair's hand.

"Same," he replied, suddenly shy, taking her hand.

"I have to go to the little boy's room. I'll be right back." Darren got up to leave, clapping Alistair on the shoulder as he did so.

"So," Alistair began uncertainly once Darren was gone. "How long have you been here?"

"Six months. My father won the lottery."

"The lottery?" She looked taken aback that he didn't know what she meant. "I've been out of the country for over seven years now," he explained.

"Oh. It's something that was set up by Robinhood."

"Come again?"

"That's what some of the rebels are calling themselves now. About two years ago they set up a lottery. Whoever wins gets help escaping across the border. They use the money they get from the lottery proceeds to help the family procure visas and a place to stay while they try to get their feet under them. My father bought a winning ticket a year ago. How did _you_ make it here? Especially seven years ago when things were so much worse."

"Um…"Alistair wasn't sure how to explain the terms of his rescue. "There used to be an organization called 'Doma' and its' president, Dartz, found me while I was hiding in an abandoned house and brought me with him to California."

"So your family…" She trailed off, but he knew what she meant. He lowered his eyes and shook his head. "I'm really sorry." There was a moment's silence. "Wait, California? Then how did you end up _here_?"

"His work brought him here and his other employees and I came along to help and after he died I stayed here. I don't know what happened to the others." Moira had thought up until she met Alistair that her life had been hard, but hearing his story made her realize how relatively good she'd had it by comparison.

"You must have been from one of the really hard-hit areas." He nodded.

"I'm from the south. There was barely anything left standing for miles when I was rescued by Dartz."

"My family was lucky. We lived in the north where there wasn't so much actual warfare, but there were soldiers and tanks everywhere and we barely left the house."

"Could you tell me more about this Robinhood group you mentioned? I'm thinking about going back to help the relief effort; do you think they'd take me on?" She looked startled.

"You want to go back? Why?"

"I want to help. I've had it way better than the people I left behind. I want to give them the chance to live somewhere where they don't have to hide in empty, bombed-out buildings like I did." She saw the passion in his eyes and had to admire him.

"I could never do something like that, but I'm glad that you are. Things are improving, but the new government is still weak and there are so many radicals…Eventually maybe things will calm down, but in the meantime it was really wonderful to be able to leave even though we couldn't take everything with us. At least here I can walk down the street without having to see tanks."

"Could you put me in contact with someone from the group then? Do you still talk to them?"

"Yes. As an unofficial part of getting evacuated, we're supposed to search out places nearby that families that come after us could potentially relocate to."

"Tell them I have a helicopter."

"You do?"

"I see that you two are getting along," Darren remarked as he breezed back into the 'café'. Both redheads nodded.

"It's really nice to be able to talk to someone from back home," Moira said, smiling at Alistair. "Not that there's anything wrong with the people here in Domino," she added quickly. "But there are some things that only someone who's experienced them can understand."

"I know, that's why I wanted you two to meet."

The three hung out together for another hour before going their separate ways. Before they parted, Moira and Alistair exchanged cell phone numbers, and she promised that the next time she or someone in her family talked to their contact from Robinhood they'd mention that he was interested in getting involved and that he had a helicopter to sweeten the deal.

Darren struggled back into Britney's helmet and the two of them returned to his apartment.

Alistair had intended to leave him at the door, but Darren wanted to discuss what had occurred between them earlier. Reluctantly, Alistair parked his motorcycle and followed Darren inside the apartment building.

"I'm really glad you and Moira hit it off," Darren said, slipping his gray wool coat off. "She's shy and I don't think she's met too many people yet, let alone someone she can really relate to."

"She was really nice," Alistair agreed, acutely aware that this was not what Darren actually wanted to discuss. "She's going to try to help get me in contact with a rebel group that's been working to relocate people. Since Kaiba's lending me one of his helicopters I feel like I could be a big asset."

"Are you sure he'll even really loan it to you?"

"He says he will, and if there's one thing I've learned about Kaiba in the last couple of months it's that he's a man of his word. Even if he hated me he'd loan it to me because he said he would."

"Hmm…"

"Look, Darren, there's really no reason to be jealous," Alistair ventured sternly. "You're better than that. Besides, what are you interested in _me_ for? Whatever happened to that guy I introduced you to, Leigh?" Darren shrugged.

"He was an idiot. I don't mind sleeping with stupid twinks, but I don't want to date one. I learned that lesson after Yamashita and I broke up."

"How do you know that I'm not just some stupid twink?" Alistair asked. "I mean, I jumped into bed with you the first day we met." He neglected to mention that that had been a direct result of his resentment towards Kaiba at the time.

"Oh I remember. You were so innocent back then. You didn't even know the expression 'to come out of the closet.'"Darren couldn't stop a grin from spreading across his face as he sat down on the couch. "I feel like I corrupted you."

"You did," Alistair agreed, choosing to remain standing. "But then, I let myself be corrupted so you can't be completely to blame."

"Since you let me corrupt you, can't you let me love you?" Alistair smiled sadly.

"I wish it were that simple, but it isn't. But you know that." Accepting defeat, Darren made a face.

"This just really sucks. There aren't too many good guys out there."

"You'll find somebody, I know you will. At the very least you'll probably find someone before Kaiba would ever love me back."

"Unrequited love really blows, doesn't it?" The intended irony of the statement was not lost on Alistair.

"It does."

* * *

**Author's Note: **Just to be clear: Alistair is not going back to his country because of Seto; this is for himself, something he has to do to be able to put his past behind him, Seto acting like a jerk is just making it easier for him to leave.


	20. A Hollow Victory

**Disclaimer: **There may well come a day when I own the rights to Yu-Gi-Oh!, sadly today is not that day.

* * *

_"You and I go hard at each other like we're going to war._

_You and I go rough; we keep throwing things and slamming the door."_****

****_One More Night ~ _Maroon 5

**Chapter 20**

When he arrived back at the estate Alistair was very surprised to find Kaiba in the foyer waiting for him.

"Why aren't you at work?" he asked, still not over his astonishment.

"Who are you to question me?" Seto asked, narrowing his eyes. "I want to talk to you." Alistair didn't like the tone of Kaiba's voice though he couldn't imagine what had caused it. "My office. _Now_." With that, he swept up the stairs, his black winter coat billowing out behind him. Alistair chose to follow him from a safe distance. He arrived at Kaiba's office to see Seto already seated behind his desk. "Close the door behind you," Seto ordered and Alistair complied, starting to become annoyed by Seto's bossy attitude.

"What do you want?" he snapped, crossing his arms. Seto reached into an inner pocket in his jacket, pulled something out and threw it at Alistair's feet. Alistair peered down and saw that it was a condom. Completely bewildered, he started to say something when Seto cut him off.

"What made you think it was ok to give that to Mokuba?" he demanded angrily. Alistair's heart sank.

"What makes you think _I_ gave it to him?" Alistair shot back hotly. Seto rolled his eyes.

"Oh I don't know, the two fags on the front of it maybe." Alistair was taken aback by Seto's choice of words having thought that Kaiba would be above such slurs.

"So maybe I did give it to him, so what? Wouldn't you rather he use it than not?"

"He told you that he's been having sex with that girl?" Seto tried to mask his surprise by sounding disbelieving.

"He told me that he wanted her to spend the night and I figured I knew what he meant by that and gave it to him so that even though I said I disapproved, they'd be safe. Maybe if you would have taken the time to sit down with him and talk about sex he would have come to _you_ first."

"Don't you dare lecture me about how I should raise my brother!" Seto said furiously, flaring up at once and even standing, palms face down on the surface of his desk.

"Then don't blame me for trying to be helpful!"

"Why do you feel the need to interfere in my life?" Seto shouted. "When you get that stupid license and I give you a helicopter, I want you to leave and never come back, do you understand?"

"Fine!" Alistair yelled back. "Then at least I won't have to deal with you and your ego ever again!" He stormed out of the office, making sure to slam the door as hard as possible behind him. He failed to notice Mokuba who was peeking around the corner. He'd heard most of the argument and was none too happy about it, especially since it had been about him. He squared his shoulders and prepared to talk his brother, unwilling to let Alistair take responsibility for his mistake for a second time.

"Seto?" he said tentatively, knocking.

"I'm busy Mokuba," came the reply. Normally that would have been enough to get Mokuba to stay away, but this time he was on a mission. Ignoring his brother's obvious desire to be left alone, Mokuba cracked the door open in time to see Seto closing the Duel Monster's card shaped locket he always wore around his neck. "I said I'm busy," Seto repeated, nettled.

"I heard you and Alistair yelling at each other," Mokuba said slowly. "And I don't think it was fair that you blamed him. He was right, I should have-."

"Look, I know you're trying to help, but don't. Alistair is an adult, you're not. He should have known better than to give you something like that."

"I wasn't even going to use it." Seto raised an eyebrow disbelievingly. "Honestly."

"So what was this about you wanting to have her sleep over here? Did you really think I wouldn't find out?"

"We were just going to play video games and watch movies," Mokuba insisted. "I'm serious. And anyway, how come you get to do whatever you want if I don't? You're not _that_ much older than me."

"If I can still pick you up you're too young," Seto invented. Mokuba crossed his arms.

"You can pick Alistair up and you're not saying that _he's_ too young," he pointed out craftily. The statement had the desired effect. Seto was at a loss for words. There was a chance that Mokuba didn't mean anything by it, but Seto had never been an optimist.

Mokuba had never seen his older brother look so embarrassed. His cheeks had developed a pink tinge which definitively confirmed what the teen had already been pretty certain about.

"How did you know about that?" Seto asked finally, wishing his face would stop burning, hoping against hope that Mokuba hadn't seen anything. He'd known that making out with Alistair at the foot of the stairs had been a bad idea. Mokuba hid his smile behind his hand.

"It's kind of obvious."

"What do you mean?" Seto insisted. Mokuba thought back.

"Nothing specific, it's just the way you look at each other, or don't. And the fact that you didn't want to talk about him the other day and how he talks about you. Just little things. I don't think they're noticeable to most people, but I'm not most people, and I know that you wouldn't have cared about Alistair leaving if he didn't mean something to you."

"I…that…that's none of your business," Seto said lamely.

"And me and my relationship to Hilary is _your_ business?"

"I'm older than you, and more to the point, I'm responsible for you, so what I say goes, got it? No more questions about Alistair, and no sleepovers with Hilary." It was the closest Seto had ever come to sounding like a parent and Mokuba wasn't about to let him get away with it.

"Alright, fine. But then maybe you should set a better example and stop bruising up Alistair's neck; you're only encouraging me." He picked the condom off the floor, tossed it onto Seto's desk and left, laughing, before Seto had the chance to retort. His face burning again, Seto sat back down and put his head in his hands. Mokuba knew that he and Alistair had been involved. It was humiliating. He didn't want his little brother thinking about that! He wished he could blame Alistair, but it seemed as though it was his own words that had betrayed him. At least Trudy didn't know…

Alistair was so angry at Kaiba that he could practically feel his vision blurring. How dare he? How _dare_ he dismiss him like that after everything that had happened? He entered his room and slammed the door shut, causing Sewell to yowl in fright and hide under the bed. Kaiba hadn't changed at all even though Alistair had given him every opportunity to do so. He still blamed everyone but himself for his own problems. Whatever. His loss. Alistair was beyond done. If Kaiba wanted him out of his life, fine, he'd gladly grant his wish.

He was standing in the middle of the room trying to figure out what to do next when he heard a knock on the door. He hated himself for hoping it would be Kaiba.

"Alistair, it's me, Mokuba," Mokuba said. "Can I come in?" Disappointed, Alistair answered.

"Yeah, sure. But I'm not really in the mood to play games right now." Mokuba opened the door and realized he hadn't been in this room since the day Alistair moved in.

"It's ok, I wasn't going to ask you about that. I wanted to talk about Seto." Alistair tensed.

"What about him?" Mokuba was suddenly uncertain. He knew that Alistair wouldn't hurt him or anything, but hearing him sounding so angry reminded him of how Alistair had been when they first met.

"I…uh…well…I know that you two have been…I mean, that you're sort of…seeing each other," Mokuba managed very awkwardly, careful to keep an eye on Alistair so he could gauge his reaction.

"Oh." Alistair didn't seem embarrassed as Seto had, nor did he seem especially surprised by the news, he simply shrugged. "Yeah, well, not anymore."

"Is it because of me?" Mokuba asked cautiously.

"No."

"Then why?" Alistair looked pityingly at the younger Kaiba brother. He could sense that Mokuba, now that he knew that he and his brother had been together, desperately wanted it to stay that way.

"Your brother and I are too different. Anyway, I don't think he'd want me to talk to you about this."

"That's true." Mokuba looked miserable. "Who wanted to end it?" If it had been Seto there might still be a chance to fix things if his behavior in his office was anything to go on. Alistair hesitated.

"He did."

Alistair's nightmares started up again that night. He tossed and turned in his makeshift nest in throes of agony, lost in his own head.

_"Where's mom?" Mikey asked, playing with his Dino Dude action figure._

_ "They killed her."Alistair looked at the ground and realized in horror that it was spattered with blood. He jerked backwards. "Mikey, get back!" he said, panicked. There was so much blood…_

_ "Too late." Mikey's voice was frighteningly calm. Alistair looked over and started. Mikey's face had taken on a goulish appearance. His eyes were sunken and dull and half of his face was rotted off. Alistair could see his ribs through his now tattered T-shirt._

_ "M-Mikey!" he stammered, terrified, backing up further._

_ "You did this!" Mikey said, pointing a boney finger at Alistair. "You did this! You did this! YOU DID THIS!"_

_ Alistair took off running, Mikey's chorus's of 'you did this' seeming to follow him. He ran until he tripped over something and fell over. He realized in horror that he'd tripped over a headless, mangled torso. A mangled torso wearing a golden locket._

_ "No!" he yelled. "No! Mikey!"_

_ "You didn't do a very good job protecting your brother, did you?" came a snide voice from behind him. He spun around to see Kaiba smirking smugly at him from the opposite side of the plane. "Guess that's why my brother's still alive and yours isn't. Face it, you failed!"_

_ "I was trying to protect him!"_

_ "Were you?" Kaiba laughed. "Some protection you are. Face it Alistair: you're nothing but a loser."_

Alistair jerked awake and cracked his head on the underside of the bed. Pain shot through his body but he barely noticed. He was shaking all over and covered in sweat. Even though he knew now that it had only been a dream, he couldn't shake it. He lay back down and tried to get comfortable, but the image of Mikey's decomposing face and mangled corpse continued to haunt him. He wondered if he would ever be able to get the scene out of his head.

He felt something wet touch his hand and jumped before he realized that it was Sewell's nose. He pulled the cat into his arms and held her close.

"I just want it to stop," he whispered. He had thought that he was over it since he hadn't had a nightmare in almost a week, but it seemed that while his improvement had almost definitely been the result of his relationship with Seto, now that that was over he was going to relapse. Kaiba had only been a distraction, not a solution. Alistair was sure that the only remedy would be to return to his homeland and face his demons head on, hopefully saving lives in the process and finally paying off his debt to his brother for having gotten him killed so that his memory of Mikey could finally rest in peace. As he started to fall back asleep, the stone around his neck glimmered momentarily in the darkness.

For the next three weeks Alistair did his best to avoid everyone, especially Kaiba (not that that was difficult given that they'd only come into contact with one another before because they'd wanted to). He hoped that by alienating himself from everyone he could alleviate the inevitable hurt of having to leave them behind forever. He'd suffered enough losses in his life as it was to want to suffer any more.

He ate in silence until eventually Trudy stopped sitting with him at breakfast, he declined Mokuba's offers to play video games, ignored Darren's texts and voicemails, and spent as much time as possible out of the house. His new favorite haunt was the local library where he would sit for hours on end devouring book after book at an alarming rate now that his vocabulary was better though he still always had a dictionary at the ready.

The only person that he actively maintained contact with was Moira. After their initial meeting, they had begun texting quite often and he eventually met her family which consisted of a younger sister, older brother, and mother and father plus a cat named Faileas. Though her father at least had initially seemed resentful of the fact that Alistair had been out of the country illegally for seven years when they'd waited patiently to emigrate the right way, Alistair won him over by explaining that he wanted to go back and help the relief effort by joining Robinhood.

True to her word, after their next correspondence with their Robinhood contact Neakail, Moira's parents mentioned Alistair's interest in getting involved, a proposition Neakail said he would take up with his boss since he found it suspicious that someone who had already been out of the country would want to come back and help.

After two weeks he'd gotten back to them and said that his boss, Kam, had agreed to a video chat with Alistair as a sort of screening process.

Over the course of the conversation Alistair left nothing out barring the Seal of Orichalcos, explaining where he'd grown up, how he'd lost his parents and brother, under what circumstances he'd been rescued by Dartz, the head of Doma (which Kam had heard of), and that he'd stayed on with them to try to take over and dismantle Kaiba Corp, but was now emotionally ready to return to help his people. The only awkward moment in the conversation came when he had to try and explain why Seto Kaiba was essentially relinquishing ownership of one of his company helicopters to someone who had tried to destroy his company.

"We were in a plane crash together," he explained, "and because of that connection, when Doma fell apart and I had nowhere to go, he was generous enough to help get me back on my feet again. We've sort of become friends and when I said I wanted to do this he offered me a helicopter to get me there and to use to help the cause." Kam had looked skeptical. "I know it's hard to believe given his public persona, but he's actually not as uncaring as he makes himself seem." Saying the words had caused an ache in his chest which he hurriedly tried to bury by reminding himself of all of the horrible things Kaiba had said to him.

"I see. So Seto Kaiba isn't heartless after all." Alistair was fairly certain that Kam, a shrewd man in his early forties, didn't buy his story, but given that Kaiba Corp had absolutely no ties to the conflict, he chose to overlook Alistair's secrecy and agreed to offer him a place among their ranks upon his arrival, and thanked him for volunteering to serve 'the people' as he put it.

The matter of his employment resolved, leaving Domino became suddenly much more tangible, and he redoubled his efforts to loathe the city he had resided in for the past four and a half months to make the parting easier, though deep down he knew it wasn't the city he would miss.

On the morning of November eleventh, the day of the aviation academy's graduation, Alistair stood in front of the mirror in his (_Gozaburo's_ he reminded himself sternly) closet, struggling to tie the tie that went to the uniform Kaiba had insisted he wear for the ceremony through a note he left with Trudy along with the name of a store to buy it and the credit card to pay for it with.

He eventually gave up and tossed it aside, reasoning that the black jacket with its gold buttons was fancy enough without it. Sewell pounced on the dark swath of cloth while Alistair continued to stare at himself in the mirror. He had changed so much since first coming here. His hair was no longer dull, but shiny and healthy and was now actually cut into a recognizable style, his hands and feet were beginning to lose their calluses and become soft, he had become much paler from being indoors, and though he was still quite willowy, his ribs no longer protruded. It was not only his physical being that had changed though, and if anything the psychological effects were even more profound.

Kaiba or no Kaiba he knew that he wanted love to be a part of his life. Friendship too. And he had come to value his own existence, and even start to forgive himself for what had happened to Mikey, allowing himself to acknowledge that the tragedy had not been his fault. He couldn't possibly have known that the rebel tank he'd helped his brother into would be blown up.

Giving the lapels of the jacket a final tug, smoothing out the creases, and carefully placing the cap on his head, Alistair deemed himself ready to go. He bent down briefly to say goodbye to Sewell, careful not to get her fur on the pristine black dress pants, and exited the room.

As he arrived in the entrance hall and saw Trudy, dressed in an iris colored dress and dark gray wool coat, and Mokuba in dark jeans, orange vest and striped shirt, Alistair couldn't help but feel happy that they wanted to support him even after he'd been neglecting them.

"You look so handsome!" Trudy exclaimed, pulling a small digital camera out of the handbag dangling off her arm. "Smile!" Alistair complied, feeling slightly foolish. Trudy took several pictures before she was satisfied, then the party left.

As they piled into the limo, Alfred extended his congratulations to the young man he'd come to like very much and Trudy offered him a piece of the cake she'd made to mark the occasion once they got back.

The aviation academy, located just outside of Domino, was comprised mainly of very modern buildings with huge paneled windows that shimmered in the fading light. They were directed by a valet to the auditorium where the ceremony would take place.

The auditorium was relatively small and adorned with multiple banners boasting the school's colors and logo as well as one huge poster offering congratulations to the graduating class, most of which seemed to be milling about around the stage, getting directed by none other than Henry, the man who had tested his skills before.

Upon seeing Alistair, Henry excused himself from his conversation with one of the students in order to welcome him.

"It's so good to see you Alistair," he greeted him as they shook hands. "I'm glad to see that Mr. Kaiba was able to get you a uniform. And you must be his mother," he added to Trudy. There was an awkward pause.

"Something like that," she said finally, laughing uncomfortably. Henry sensed that he'd made an error and did his best to cover it by turning to Mokuba.

"And Mokuba, how are you? You're a lot taller than you were when your brother studied here. How is he by the way? I heard he's throwing a new tournament."

"He is. He sends his regards but he couldn't make it because he has to work," Mokuba explained. Henry shook his head.

"He always was a hard worker your brother. Rarely do I get a student that driven; he burnt through his required flight hours faster than I'd ever seen anyone do it before or since, but I've got a good bunch here." He smiled fondly at his students. "Ok, so Alistair, if you could just go and stand between Seikei and Marina; she's the one with the blonde curls, that would be lovely. And don't forget the reception afterwards. Thanks to Mr. Kaiba's generous donation it's going to be something really special."

The rest of the graduating class was very confused by Alistair's presence. Given that there were only eighteen of them they all knew each other, and none of them had ever seen the redheaded young man before, though they didn't have long to wonder about it as the ceremony got underway.

To Alistair the ceremony seemed to drag on forever as first a band played, a former student gave a long speech, followed by three more speeches given by the school's director, Henry, and the class spokesperson. Finally, it was time to give out certificates, the only part he cared about.

As each person's name was called along with their qualifications, they walked across the stage, shook first Henry's, then the director's hand, and received a framed certificate. The actual licenses would be mailed out the following day.

When his name was called, Alistair tried very hard not to trip in the unfamiliar shoes he was wearing, shook hands and was handed his certificate amidst flashes of light from Trudy's camera.

After all was said and done, Alistair was beyond ready to leave. The reception had been the worst part since there it became blatantly obvious that he didn't belong. He was relieved when Trudy said that Alfred was ready to pick them up. Before they got into the car however, Trudy insisted on a few more pictures of Alistair holding the certificate while standing with the school in the background which he thought was silly since he'd only ever been there once before.

Back at the mansion he, Trudy, Mokuba, Trudy's husband George, Alfred, and Saito who Trudy invited on their way inside, sat down in Trudy's small kitchen for cake. The cake, which Trudy had shaped to look like an airplane and iced with homemade frosting, was absolutely delicious and now that he was surrounded by people he was familiar with, Alistair found himself relaxing and having a good time in their company. Mokuba insisted on trying on his pilot's hat which turned out to be too big for him, and said that maybe he too would learn to fly someday.

Trudy brought out pictures she had from when Seto had studied at the academy. A fifteen year old Kaiba smirked into the camera while leaning against one of the school planes. The uniform looked out of place on him as Alistair rarely saw him in anything that couldn't be accessorized with a trench coat, but nonetheless he looked good as he always did, and even in the group picture where he was clearly roughly ten years younger than everyone else, he seemed to possess a level of command that outshined his classmates.

"I was sick the day of the graduation or there would have been more pictures," Trudy said as she put them back in her photo album, "but Mokuba didn't completely let me down." She smiled fondly at him, and it struck Alistair again just how attached to the Kaiba brothers she was, and of how she had readily taken him under her wing too. He would miss her quite a lot.

Over the next few days, Alistair started to pack up in preparation for his departure. He had spoken to Kam who gave him a location to land where they would pick him up on the nineteenth.

Even though he still didn't own much, Alistair had acquired more things in the last few months than he'd had in years and knew that he couldn't take all of it with him. His duel disk and deck, motorcycle, and most of his clothes he was going to leave at the mansion. He didn't have the heart to tell Mokuba or Trudy that he wouldn't be back to claim them, and wondered how long they'd wait before getting rid of them. He resolved to take his trench coat, two muscle shirts, one pair of jeans, two pairs of socks, his combat boots, Mikey's action figure, and his father's knife. That settled, there was only one thing left to establish: what would happen to Sewell with him gone.

Two days after the graduation ceremony, he made a trip to Trudy's apartment to ask if she would care for his cat.

"Of course I will," she said immediately, without looking up from the carrots she was chopping. "But you'll have to teach me how to handle her; she always hides when she sees me."

Alistair retrieved Sewell from his—that is to say, the room he'd been residing in, and tried to warm her up to Trudy by having Trudy give her treats, and by moving her litter box to Trudy's apartment. At first Sewell was very resentful, but over just a few days, thanks to Trudy's careful conditioning, she began to allow the older woman to pet her and by the fourth day even rubbed up against her legs unprompted, demanding food and affection. Knowing that his beloved Sewell would be well taken care of took a weight off of Alistair's shoulders.

His license arrived later that afternoon with the rest of the post. Satisfied, he stowed it carefully in an inner jacket pocket for safekeeping.

When he heard from Trudy the next day that Alistair would be leaving on the eighteenth, Seto masked his initial dismay with annoyance that Alistair hadn't told him himself. "How was he expecting to get there?" he'd snapped, his appetite gone. He called in to his secretary to say that he'd be late, and waited for Alistair to come downstairs for breakfast.

"Took you long enough," he said to a wary Alistair when he entered the dining room at nine O'clock. Alistair had been hoping not to run into Kaiba again before he left so that his last memory of the man would be negative, but given Kaiba's hostile attitude he figured he might still get his wish.

"Sorry that I'm not at your beck and call," he snapped back, taking his seat at the table, wondering what Kaiba was doing there at all, and wishing that there wasn't a part of him that wanted Kaiba to beg him to stay.

"If you don't want one of my helicopters, that's on you," Seto retorted calmly, having the upper hand always serving to put him in a better mood. "You're welcome to walk, no one will stop you." Alistair set his jaw. "I didn't think so. Trudy told me that you're leaving on Monday."

"I am," Alistair replied curtly.

"When?"

"I want to take off before noon if that's possible."

"Morning Alistair! Oh, morning Seto," Mokuba's voice sounded from the doorway. "What are you doing here?" he asked as he sat down across from Alistair, looking back and forth between the two.

"Offering an ingrate one of my helicopters," Seto said snidely as Trudy entered to offer him more coffee and set a pot of tea on the table.

"I'll bring breakfast in just a moment," she said to Mokuba and Alistair before hurrying off again.

"Yeah, when are you leaving?" Mokuba asked, though he dreaded the answer.

"Monday," Alistair told him guiltily, wishing he would have told Mokuba before.

"That's only two days from now!" Mokuba exclaimed, dismayed. "Did you know that?"he demanded of his brother.

"No. But it brings me back to my point: if you want to take off by noon you might as well come to work with me so I can show you to the hanger. We'll leave here at nine."

"Fine."

"I'm coming too!" Mokuba said.

"You have school," Seto reminded him, irritated by how much Mokuba had come to care for Alistair.

"It doesn't matter, let me have the day off. There's no way I'll be able to concentrate if I don't get to say goodbye."

"Hmph. Alright, you can come," Seto relented. "Although I don't know why you'd want to bother." He and Alistair glared at each other across the table, just as antagonistic as they'd been as they'd dueled on top of one of the Kaiba Corp company planes four and a half months previously. It was as though the intermediate time hadn't happened. Whatever had come between them to break up the new relationship they'd formed must have been pretty bad, Mokuba could only assume, and he mourned the loss.

Having resolved the issue of Alistair's departure, Seto left for the KC skyscraper, using the drive to calm himself back down. He wasn't pleased that he'd had to see Alistair again, and even less happy that their meeting had rattled him so badly. But no matter, come Monday the redhead would be out of his life forever just like he wanted. He did still want that, right? As he sat at his desk, Seto felt his feelings waver, the concept of really never seeing Alistair again starting to sink in.

He knew that his pride would never allow him to ask Alistair to stay, just as he knew that Alistair wouldn't stay even if he did. He had made it clear what the purpose of his trip was, and Seto understood, having taken several such trips himself. But oh, he would miss him, that he couldn't deny, just as he couldn't deny how much he'd wanted to go to Alistair the last few nights but hadn't. After Monday though, he'd have no more chances. Alistair would be gone, and without a passport to let him back into the country, he'd be gone for good.

_Damn you Alistair_, he said to himself, putting his head in his hands. _I hate you_. He wished desperately that the words were true.

* * *

**Author's Note: **I think it's fair to say that Seto needs to get off his high horse if he wants to save his relationship with Alistair, but only time will tell if he'll be able to do it in time.

Note: in my Word document version of this story, this is page 137 of over 200 and I'm not into cheesy endings. Things to keep in mind...


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